{"id":405,"date":"2008-09-11T22:31:47","date_gmt":"2008-09-12T03:31:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/?p=405"},"modified":"2008-09-11T22:31:47","modified_gmt":"2008-09-12T03:31:47","slug":"week-15-preview","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/week-15-preview\/","title":{"rendered":"Week 15 Preview"},"content":{"rendered":"

Now (S)crappy Free! (Except That)<\/h4>\n

<\/a>\"\"<\/a><\/a><\/p>\n

GAME OF THE WEEK
\nUnicorns\u00a0(8-6) vs. Mighty Squirrels (7-3-3)
\nLocation: <\/strong>Corlears South,\u00a03:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series: <\/strong>Unicorns lead 4-1
\nGame Notes: <\/strong>Although both of these teams now hover in the upper half of the standings, this game has implications far beyond simple wins and losses in BTSH.\u00a0 In addition to the pressure of ending a three game losing streak, Mighty Squirrels captain Rachel “A-Korn” Greene must face one of her fiercest and most devious rivals in this game: Unicorns goalie, Craig “Ug” LaCombe.\u00a0 A known cheater, LaCombe has already been caught several times this season for various league infractions.\u00a0 In May, referee Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens measured his pads and determined that they were several inches above the league standard.\u00a0 In June, referee Bryan “Stork” Welch found a bucket of white paint on LaCombe’s person, as he was trying to expand the crease.\u00a0 Interestingly, due to excessive lobbying by Unicorns captain Christian, LaCombe is yet to face any consequences for these actions.\u00a0 Greene, however, is also known to be quite crafty as she once “inadvertently” gave LaCombe the wrong start time for one of his games.\u00a0 Odds are, she’ll do that again this week.\u00a0 Of course, the anticipation for\u00a0this heated rivalry may be moot in the end, as Greene may head to the Meadowlands for the Jets’ home opener anyway.
\nKeys To The Game: <\/strong>
\n1. Chris, Nelson, and Mark have combined for 31 of the Unicorns’ 47 goals this season.\u00a0 Stopping this triumvirate of scorers will be imperative for the Squirrels.
\n2. Lost among the Greene-LaCombe hype is the revenge factor that will also motivate former Unicorn Jesse Kalb.
\n3. Good news for the Squirrels!\u00a0 According to New York fashion week, Earth tones are back in this season.\u00a0 So, they have that going for them…
\nEli’s Pick: <\/strong>Mighty Squirrels. Rachel does it for Brett Favre.
\nDerek’s Pick: <\/strong>Unicorns. Ug will be amped for this game and will help procure another rivalry trophy to go alongside the Unicorns’ (imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Denim Demons (9-0-2-1) vs. Tuques (5-7)
\nLocation: <\/strong>Moffo, 2:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series: <\/strong>Denim Demons lead 6-0
\nGame Notes: <\/strong>Fueled by their upset of the Sky Fighters last Sunday, the Tuques are looking for their first ever victory against the Denim Demons.\u00a0 The Demons, meanwhile, are still looking to finish the regular season without a regulation loss.
\nEli’s Pick: <\/strong>Denim Demons
\nDerek’s Pick: <\/strong>Denim Demons<\/p>\n

Bad Touch (1-12-1) vs. Filthy Gorgeous (9-4-1)
\nLocation: <\/strong>Corlears North, 3:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series: <\/strong>Filthy Gorgeous leads 2-1
\nGame Notes: <\/strong>Filthy Gorgeous is still adjusting to the relocation of two of its key players: Paul “Ashy Larry” Vernon and Joseph Pereira.\u00a0 It helps that their first two games after these personnel changes come against a pair of one win teams (they faced Mexican Standoff last week).
\nEli’s Pick: <\/strong>Filthy Gorgeous.\u00a0 Even without Paul, they can still go from ashy to classy.
\nDerek’s Pick: <\/strong>Filthy Gorgeous<\/p>\n

Dark Rainbows (10-3-1) vs. Sky Fighters (7-6)
\nLocation: <\/strong>Moffo, 3:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series: <\/strong>Dark Rainbows lead 2-1
\nGame Notes: <\/strong>With Trevor “White Jesus” Tyrrell back in net, the Dark Rainbows have returned to playoff form.\u00a0 Without missing a beat, Tyrrell pitched another shutout last week (his fifth), despite having to face a tough Fresh Kills team and the monstrous shot of Bob “Olmec” Weyersberg.\u00a0 This week, he will face an equally dangerous shooter in Sky Fighters star Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka.
\nEli’s Pick: <\/strong>Dark Rainbows
\nDerek’s Pick: <\/strong>Dark Rainbows.\u00a0 A fully healthy Tyrrell may be the league’s most dangerous weapon.<\/p>\n

What The Puck (11-2-0-1) vs. Happy Little Elves (1-12-1)
\nLocation: <\/strong>Corlears North, 4:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series: <\/strong>First Meeting
\nGame Notes: <\/strong>On paper, this game seems like it should be a blowout in favor of What The Puck.\u00a0 As we know, paper never lies.
\nEli’s Pick: <\/strong>What The Puck.\u00a0 Here’s something good about the Elves…they will not lose via mercy rule.
\nDerek’s Pick: <\/strong>What The Puck.\u00a0 However, this pick can easily be swayed with more homemade cookies from Ben.<\/p>\n

Rehabs (8-4-1-1) vs. Tuques (5-7)
\nLocation: <\/strong>Corlears South, 4:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series: <\/strong>Tied 5-5
\nGame Notes: <\/strong>The Tuques will have just one hour after their first game to move from Moffo to Corlears and prepare for their second game.\u00a0 The Rehabs have now won two games in a row after droppng their last three.
\nEli’s Pick: <\/strong>Rehabs
\nDerek’s Pick: <\/strong>Rehabs<\/p>\n

Fresh Kills (7-6-0-1) vs. LBS, Inc. (10-3-1)
\nLocation: <\/strong>Moffo, 4:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series: <\/strong>Fresh Kills leads 9-4
\nGame Notes: <\/strong>These two rivals have a long and storied history as two of the perennially top teams in BTSH.\u00a0 In 2007, Fresh Kills defeated LBS\u00a0in overtime in the\u00a0regular season, setting up a rematch in the first round of the playoffs.\u00a0 The playoff game only intensified the bad blood between these teams as Fresh Kills won in a heated contest that ultimately resulted in the suspension of the self-proclaimed cleanest player in the game, Ken “The Alpha Male” Poulin.
\nEli’s Pick: <\/strong>LBS, Inc.
\nDerek’s Pick: <\/strong>LBS, Inc.\u00a0 The Alpha Male is active again and ready for some good, clean<\/span> fun.<\/p>\n

Denim Demons (9-0-2-1) vs. Gouging Anklebiters (4-10)
\nLocation: <\/strong>Corlears North, 5:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series: <\/strong>Gouging Anklebiters lead 5-4
\nGame Notes: <\/strong>The BTSH phone lines have been ringing off the hook all week as women from all throughout New York City have been trying to secure good seats for this one.\u00a0 With referee duo of Jeremy Schumacher and Eric “El Guapo” DiPierri of the Gouging Anklebiters squaring off against\u00a0the duo of Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens and “Hacksaw” Jim Dandeneau of the Denim Demons, the title of “Best Looking Ref Duo”\u00a0will be at stake.
\nEli’s Pick: <\/strong>Denim Demons…with apologies to the Gouging Anklebiters.
\nDerek’s Pick: <\/strong>Denim Demons.\u00a0 The real winners will be the ladies who scored tickets.<\/p>\n

Mexican Standoff (1-10-2-1) vs. Cobra Kai (3-9-1)
\nLocation: <\/strong>Corlears South, 5:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series: <\/strong>Mexican Standoff leads 3-0
\nGame Notes: <\/strong>Cobra Kai began the season decently and actually fooled the media into thinking they’d be one of the surprise teams of the season.\u00a0 However, inconsistent attendence and the stunning resignation of captain\u00a0Peter Oblamski have left them in a tailspin.\u00a0 They have now lost their last six games in a row and appear extremely disorganized.
\nEli’s Pick: <\/strong>Cobra Kai.\u00a0 After a mid-season lull, Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta has\u00a0regained his scoring touch.
\nDerek’s Pick: <\/strong>Cobra Kai.\u00a0 I make this pick under the assumption that Paul “P.J.” Lopez will actually\u00a0play for the Dojo this week.<\/p>\n

Mathematics (4-10) vs. Corlears Hookers (10-3)
\nLocation: <\/strong>Moffo, 4:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series: <\/strong>Corlears Hookers lead 1-0
\nGame Notes<\/strong>:\u00a0With the Mathematics realizing they will need a little extra firepower to defeat the Corlears Hookers, they’ve assigned team goon, Georgine “Mulva” Paulin with the uneviable task of taking the Hookers out for a\u00a0“good time” on Saturday night.\u00a0 Unfortunately for the Mathematics, Paulin is from the\u00a0Midwest, so a “good time” will likely entail\u00a0making homemade bratwurst and kielbasa and going to bed early to enjoy them the next day.\u00a0\u00a0Of course, Hookers leading scorer Jason Eitel will likely turn this into a drinking game anyway, so this cunning plan will not go for naught.<\/p>\n

Media Records:
\nEli: <\/strong>75-34
\nDerek: <\/strong>73-36<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Now (S)crappy Free! (Except That) GAME OF THE WEEK Unicorns\u00a0(8-6) vs. Mighty Squirrels (7-3-3) Location: Corlears South,\u00a03:00 PM All-Time Series: Unicorns lead 4-1 Game Notes: Although both of these teams now hover in the upper half of the standings, this game has implications far beyond simple wins and losses in BTSH.\u00a0 In addition to the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[33],"tags":[10,15,93,13,308],"class_list":["post-405","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-weekly-previews","tag-2008-season","tag-mighty-squirrels","tag-ug","tag-unicorns","tag-weekly-previews"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/405"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=405"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/405\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":434,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/405\/revisions\/434"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=405"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=405"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=405"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}