![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/MegaUnisGame.jpg\" "\\"Mega")
<\/a><\/p>\nGAME OF THE WEEK<\/strong> <\/p>\n Butchers (1-0) at Mathematics (0-0-1)<\/strong> Tompkins Square Riots (0-1) at Happy Little Elves (0-1)<\/strong> Rehabs (0-1) at Cobra Kai (0-0-1)<\/strong> Poutine Machine (0-0-1) at Gouging Anklebiters (0-1)<\/strong> La Famiglia (0-0-1) at Filthy Gorgeous (1-0)<\/strong> LBS, Inc. (0-1) at Sky Fighters (0-1)<\/strong> Gut Rot (0-1) at What The Puck (0-0-0-1)<\/strong> HOCKEY NIGHT IN TOMPKINS (National Telecast)<\/strong> HOCKEY NIGHT IN TOMPKINS (Regional Telecast)<\/strong> Julie Is The Jimmy Fallon Of BTSH Photos GAME OF THE WEEK Mega Touch (1-0) at Unicorns (1-0) Location: Tompkins East, 3:00 PM All-Time Series: Unicorns lead 9-4 Game Notes: Two teams with convincing wins last weekend face off in this Schumacher Conference battle.\u00a0 Mega Touch looked sharp against the Gouging Anklebiters during the Hockey […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[33],"tags":[153,124,13,308],"class_list":["post-4068","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-weekly-previews","tag-2011-season","tag-mega-touch","tag-unicorns","tag-weekly-previews"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4068"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4068"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4068\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4348,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4068\/revisions\/4348"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4068"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4068"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4068"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nMega Touch (1-0) at Unicorns (1-0)<\/strong>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins East, 3:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Unicorns lead 9-4
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> Two teams with convincing wins last weekend face off in this Schumacher Conference battle.\u00a0 Mega Touch looked sharp against the Gouging Anklebiters during the Hockey Night in Tompkins regional telecast, rolling to a 5-1 victory.\u00a0 New addition Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta scored 30 seconds into the game, and his team never looked back.\u00a0 Bratta finished with three goals and two assists, as he and his linemates Harvey Jaswal and Julie Katz dominated play and were on for all of the team’s goals.\u00a0 This “Matzo-Masala-Marinara” line has invigorated Mega Touch and given the team high hopes for the remainder of the season.\u00a0 The Unicorns also impressed in their playoff rematch against the Tompkins Square Riots.\u00a0 The offense tallied six goals, led by Joe’s hat trick, while goalie Craig “Ug” LaCombe and the Uni’s defense shut out the normally potent Riots attack.\u00a0 LaCombe gives most of the credit to his defenders, noting that only a handful of good shots got through to him.\u00a0 Will Mega’s Matzo-Masala-Marinara line be able to break through this wall or will LaCombe and the Unicorns defense stifle another opponent?
\nKeys To The Game:<\/strong>
\n1. This is Mega Touch’s first ever Game of the Week.\u00a0 Although captain Julie Katz is extremely eager to participate in the featured matchup, captain Eric Devlin is less enthusiastic.\u00a0 How will the team handle the pressure of the big stage?
\n2. Unicorns rookie Luke tallied a goal during his team’s big win last Sunday.\u00a0 He is just one of many offseason acquisitions that the Unicorns will rely on throughout the season.
\n3. As intense talks over the direction of the goaltenders’ union continue to heat up, this game will feature two of the principals of these discussions.\u00a0 Mega Touch’s Mike Tuckman has vehemently opposed the creation of the union calling it “stupid and pointless.”\u00a0 LaCombe, on the other hand, inexplicably seems to think the union’s founders Peter Lang and $howT!m3 may have been on to something…which would be a first.
\nEli\u2019s Pick: <\/strong>Unicorns.\u00a0 This game will likely mimic the above photo.
\nDerek\u2019s Pick: <\/strong>Unicorns.\u00a0 Mega Touch has clearly improved, but the Unicorns still have a little more talent right now.
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 3.5 Devlins.\u00a0 Eric’s been clamoring to have the watchability scale named after him for a while now.<\/p>\n
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins East, 1:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Butchers lead 1-0
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> This game will feature the two finalists from the 2010 Sharif Corinaldi Memorial Hot Legs Competition: the Mathematics’ Mike Smith and the Butchers’ Ellen M.\u00a0 The Mathematics will seek revenge for their comrade Mike, who lost to Ellen in an extremely controversial decision by host Phil “Sandy” Donohue.
\n<\/strong>Watchability:<\/strong> 2.5 Devlins.\u00a0 If current temperatures hold, we may not be able to see their legs.<\/p>\n
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins West, 1:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> First Meeting
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> The Riots and Elves both had disappointing results last weekend, as they both enter this contest 0-1.\u00a0 The Riots were shutout 6-0 by the Unicorns, while the Elves fell to the Corlears Hookers 4-1.
\nEli\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> Happy Little Elves
\nDerek\u2019s Pick: <\/strong>Happy Little Elves
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 3 Devlins.\u00a0 The Elves tend to struggle when both media members pick them.<\/p>\n
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins East, 2:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Rehabs lead 5-1
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> Rehabs captain Meredith Danberg-Ficarelli has been spending the last week baking an assortment of pies, as she plans to throw one in the face of former teammate and current Cobra Kai player, Anita Khar.\u00a0 So far, she has made the following flavors: apple, cherry, boysenberry, Boston cream, lemon meringue, pecan, strawberry rhubarb, pumpkin, sugarless blueberry, and shepherds pie.\u00a0 Although she is not sure which she will throw into Khar’s face, Danberg-Ficarelli is currently leaning towards Boston cream.
\nEli\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> Rehabs.\u00a0 Rob Blandi has already eaten the pecan pie.
\nDerek\u2019s Pick: <\/strong>Cobra Kai.\u00a0 Much like Popeye’s spinach, pie only makes Anita stronger.
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 3.5 Devlins<\/p>\n
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins West, 2:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Poutine Machine leads 1-0
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> Both of these teams opened with divisional matchups last weekend.\u00a0 Poutine Machine tied the Mathematics, while the Gouging Anklebiters fell to Mega Touch.
\nEli\u2019s Pick: <\/strong>Poutine Machine.\u00a0 Goalie Tim Brown looked impressive last week.
\nDerek\u2019s Pick: <\/strong>Poutine Machine
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 2 Devlins<\/p>\n
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins West, 3:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Filthy Gorgeous leads 6-1
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> La Famiglia captain Dave Ladanyi finds Filthy Gorgeous’ v-neck t-shirts to be a disgrace to BTSH, as they do not represent the “Golden Age” of the league, when teams wore “appropriate attire.”
\nEli\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> No pick. Eli will be reffing this game.
\nDerek\u2019s Pick: <\/strong>Filthy Gorgeous.\u00a0 The offense didn’t miss a beat last Sunday, even with “Gentleman” James Pereira on the DL.
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 3 Devlins<\/p>\n
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins East, 4:30 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> LBS, Inc. leads 8-5
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> Both teams suffered disappointing losses last week.\u00a0 LBS, Inc. fell to the Denim Demons 6-3, while the Sky Fighers were shutout by the Dark Rainbows 4-0.\u00a0 Both will look to rebound in this Hackett Division tilt.
\nEli\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> Sky Fighters.\u00a0 They had the early game last weekend and looked awful.\u00a0 Luckily for them, this game is much later in the day.
\nDerek\u2019s Pick: <\/strong>Sky Fighters
\nWatchability: <\/strong>3.5 Devlins
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins West, 4:30 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Gut Rot leads 1-0
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> These teams last met in the opening round of the 2010 playoffs when Gut Rot stunned What The Puck with a shootout victory.\u00a0 Tom led the way for Gut Rot, as he tallied three goals and converted the only successful shootout attempt of the game.
\nEli\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> What The Puck
\nDerek\u2019s Pick: <\/strong>What The Puck
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 3 Devlins. With Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer away for the weekend, Michelle Doucet makes her debut as WTP captain.<\/p>\n
\nWritten by Hockey Night in Tompkins Correspondent Jesse Kalb<\/em>
\nDenim Demons (1-0) at Corlears Hookers (1-0)<\/strong>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins East, 5:30 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Corlears Hookers lead 4-2
\nGame Notes: <\/strong>An early season throwdown between two of the league\u2019s powerhouse franchises. Both squads have been stewing all winter over painful playoff exits (the Perennial Bridesmaid Hookers falling to the Elves in the finals and the top-seeded Demons getting blindsided up by the upstart Butchers), and both have come out of the gate breathing fire, scoring 10 goals between them in Week 1. Demons all-star goalie Aaron \u201cCoach\u201d Pagdon spent the offseason touring the Canadian Rockies on his 1988 Honda Goldwing<\/a>, riding that lonesome highway with the wind in his hair and the Eagles\u2019 \u201cTake it Easy” on the tape deck. The three goals he gave up in Week 1 do not bode well for his focus, however, and things don\u2019t get any smoother this week as he will face a relentless Hookers offense.
\nVegas Line:<\/strong> Hookers by 1
\nJesse the Greek says:<\/strong> Lay the point in what should be a shootout. Hookers are focused and grumpy.
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 4 mix tapes<\/p>\n
\nWritten by Hockey Night in Tompkins Correspondent Jesse Kalb<\/em>
\nFresh Kills (1-0) at Dark Rainbows (1-0)<\/strong>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins West, 5:30 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Dark Rainbows lead 6-4
\nGame Notes: <\/strong>The Dark Rainbows are an enigmatic bunch.Their unorthodox training methods have been called into question by some, but you can\u2019t argue with being contenders every year and a league title under their belts. This off season\u2019s 3rd Place finish in the North American Haiku Championships speak to a team unity not seen among many other BTSH franchises, and a 4-0 win in the opener shows they still got it. The Fresh Kills are a bunch of godless heathens.
\nVegas Line:<\/strong> Rainbows by 1.5
\nJesse the Greek says:<\/strong> Rainbows
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 3.5 Deadly sins<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"