![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/05\/elvesguestcaptain.jpg\" "\\"Elves")
<\/a><\/p>\nIn order to right the ship after losses to What The Puck and Mega Touch, the Happy Little Elves made the drastic decision to appoint a guest captain for their Rubens Division matchup against the Denim Demons.\u00a0 After a grueling application process, regular captains “The Chairman” Ben Chadwick and Rich Glanzer based their choice on the outcome of a “skeetball” game.\u00a0 Thus, when Mathematics captain Derek Tagliarino ousted Chadwick, he was given the reins to the team.<\/p>\n
Employing the guest captain’s brilliant new strategy dubbed the TEDI (Tagliarino’s Elves Defensive Initiative), the Elves held the Demons scoreless through all of regulation and overtime.\u00a0 Unfortunately, the TEDI does not include any methods for scoring goals, so the Elves were also held off the score sheet.\u00a0 However, the Elves were ultimately victorious, when Tagliarino made the bold decision to put under-utilized and often overlooked flaxen-haired defender Trevor Beauclair in the shootout.\u00a0 The always modest Beauclair converted the final shootout attempt of the day, clinching the win for the Elves and Tagliarino.<\/p>\n
After the success of Sunday’s guest captain (who retires undefeated from the position), Chadwick and Glanzer have already announced that they will continue to invite others to lead the team.\u00a0 Some of the rumored candidates include Jonathan “The Barnacle” Levine, Mike Smith, Anita Khar, Sharif “The Chocolate Buzzsaw” Corinaldi, Julie Katz, Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer, Jesse Kalb, Karsten Pichon, and $h0wT!m3.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Three Stars of the Week<\/h4>\n
Third Star:<\/strong> Lawrence Goldstein, LBS, Inc<\/em>.\u00a0 The rookie sensation stepped up in the Corporation’s 3-2 shootout victory over the Dark Rainbows in the Game of the Week. \u00a0 He notched his fourth goal of the season and converted the game’s only successful shootout attempt. This year, due to a series of stupid bets made by Happy Little Elves goalie Shaun deLacy, the media will track his goals against average over the course of the regular season.<\/em><\/p>\n Goals Allowed This Week:<\/strong> 0 (vs. Denim Demons) Perhaps aided by an equipment alteration, Shaun turned in his best effort of the season, recording a shutout against Rubens Division rivals, the Denim Demons. This may just be the boost he needs to erode his GAA down to his pre-season target of 2.00. Shaun gets a favorable matchup this week, as he faces another divisional opponent, the Rehabs, who have only scored three goals all season.<\/p>\n Name:<\/strong> Scott Lee Is Jesse Kalb The Next Elves Captain? In order to right the ship after losses to What The Puck and Mega Touch, the Happy Little Elves made the drastic decision to appoint a guest captain for their Rubens Division matchup against the Denim Demons.\u00a0 After a grueling application process, regular captains “The Chairman” Ben Chadwick […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[23],"tags":[153,27,30,42],"class_list":["post-4181","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-league-notes","tag-2011-season","tag-fresh-kills","tag-happy-little-elves","tag-news-and-notes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4181"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4181"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4181\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4253,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4181\/revisions\/4253"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4181"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4181"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4181"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nSecond Star:<\/strong> Matt Kazior, Fresh Kills<\/em>. Kazior scored the game-winning goal in Fresh Kills’ 2-0 shutout over the previously undefeated Corlears Hookers.\u00a0 The win was Fresh Kills’ third in a row.
\nFirst Star:<\/strong> Ben Bloom, Butchers<\/em>.\u00a0 Bloom scored two goals in the Butchers’ 3-0 win against the Unicorns, tying him for the league lead with six goals on the season.\u00a0 The Unicorns’ Craig “Ug” LaCombe had previously allowed just one goal all season.<\/p>\nShaun deLacy GAA Watch<\/h4>\n
<\/a><\/p>\n
\nGoals Allowed Previously:<\/strong> 14
\nGoals Allowed This Season:<\/strong> 14
\nGames Played:<\/strong> 5
\nGoals Against Average:<\/strong> 2.8
\nNext Opponent:<\/strong> Rehabs (0.6 goals per game)<\/p>\nKnow Your Neighbour<\/h4>\n
<\/a><\/p>\n
\nTeam:<\/strong> Fresh Kills
\nSuggested Nickname: <\/strong>Korean $h0wT!m3
\nRejected Nicknames:<\/strong> Molasses, Slowy McSlow, Tortoise, Glacier
\nOrigin:<\/strong> Maple Ridge, British Columbia, Canada
\nCollege:<\/strong> New York University
\nQuote:<\/strong> “Slow and steady wins the race.”
\nFirst Job:<\/strong> CEO of Scott Lee, Inc.
\nCurrent Job:<\/strong> Undergraduate Student
\nEarly Accomplishments: <\/strong>Being elected freshman class prime minister of Pitt Meadows Secondary School
\nCurrent Accomplishments:<\/strong> He was voted as the eighth best player on Fresh Kills, directly behind Eugene Rha
\n <\/strong>Hero:<\/strong> Markus Naslund
\nReason to Love Him:<\/strong> Because of his Canadian upbringing, he is always polite and courteous.
\nReason to Hate Him:<\/strong> His name is an adverb.
\nBest Known For:<\/strong> Being the only person left who still buys JAMS shorts<\/a>
\nFast Fact:<\/strong> At his Fresh Kills tryout, Scott tied “Hollywood” Jeff Lesser for the all-time best Wonderlic<\/a> test score in team history
\nFavourite Things:<\/strong> Vancouver Canucks, The Grapes of Wrath<\/em>, sunglasses, the beach
\nFavourite NYU Class:<\/strong> Yellow Peril: Documenting and Understanding Xenophobia<\/a>
\nLeast Favourite Things:<\/strong> <\/em>Chicago Blackhawks, midterms, inconsistent national drinking ages, his parents’ rules
\nHockey Comparison:<\/strong> Marek Malik<\/a>
\nNon-Hockey Comparison:<\/strong> A snail
\nThings The Media Will Continue to Overhype About Him:<\/strong> He will miss a significant portion of the season when he goes home for summer break.
\nDown the Road:<\/strong> Scott graduates from college and gets a job as the third Canucks green man.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"