![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/DerekCraig.jpg\" "\\"Craig's")
<\/a><\/p>\nThree Stars of the Week<\/h4>\n
Third Star:<\/strong> Dustin “Fake Dutch’s Brother” Olson, Corlears Hookers<\/em>.\u00a0 Olson weathered an onslaught of Elves shots to lead the Corlears Hookers to a 5-0 shutout, as well as a season sweep, of their Rubens Division foes.\u00a0 The win propelled the Hookers into sole possession of first place in the league’s top division. <\/p>\n This year, due to a series of stupid bets made by Happy Little Elves goalie Shaun deLacy, the media will track his goals against average over the course of the regular season.<\/em><\/p>\n Goals Allowed This Week:<\/strong> 5 (vs. Corlears Hookers) Shaun put in his worst performance of the season on Sunday, allowing five goals to the Corlears Hookers.\u00a0 As a result, his GAA rose to a robust 2.88 with half of the regular season remaining.\u00a0 This week, Shaun finds himself in the pressure cooker that is the Fairy Tale Cup against the Dark Rainbows.\u00a0 The Rainbows could only muster one goal last week against the Unicorns, but are hungry to spoil the Elves’ Cup hopes.<\/p>\n Name:<\/strong> Joe Polowczuk Congratulations, Craig! You Get A Cookie! Three Stars of the Week Third Star: Dustin “Fake Dutch’s Brother” Olson, Corlears Hookers.\u00a0 Olson weathered an onslaught of Elves shots to lead the Corlears Hookers to a 5-0 shutout, as well as a season sweep, of their Rubens Division foes.\u00a0 The win propelled the Hookers into sole possession […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[23],"tags":[153,42,13],"class_list":["post-4435","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-league-notes","tag-2011-season","tag-news-and-notes","tag-unicorns"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4435"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4435"}],"version-history":[{"count":17,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4435\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4472,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4435\/revisions\/4472"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4435"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4435"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4435"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nSecond Star:<\/strong> Craig “Ug” LaCombe, Unicorns<\/em>.\u00a0 Ug played between the pipes for two different teams on Sunday, recording a victory in each game.\u00a0 In the first game, a crucial Fairy Tale Cup matchup, he allowed just one goal, as his Unicorns defeated the Dark Rainbows 5-1.\u00a0 Later in the day, LaCombe donned his pads once more for the Gouging Anklebiters and helped them win their second game of the season.\u00a0 These Father’s Day victories were made even more special as his parents were in attendance to watch their son play.
\nFirst Star:<\/strong> Denis Miciletto, La Famiglia<\/em>.\u00a0 Miciletto once again sparked The Family’s dominant offense with a four-goal performance in his team’s 7-4 win against the Tompkins Square Riots.\u00a0 This was his fourth consecutive game with at least one goal, and Miciletto now leads BTSH with 13 goals on the season.<\/p>\nShaun deLacy GAA Watch<\/h4>\n
<\/a><\/p>\n
\nGoals Allowed Previously:<\/strong> 18
\nGoals Allowed This Season:<\/strong> 23
\nGames Played:<\/strong> 8
\nGoals Against Average:<\/strong> 2.88
\nNext Opponent:<\/strong> Dark Rainbows (2.44 goals per game)<\/p>\nKnow Your Neighbor<\/h4>\n
<\/a><\/p>\n
\nTeam:<\/strong> Unicorns
\nSuggested Nickname: <\/strong>JoePo
\nRejected Nicknames:<\/strong> Wolverine, Diamond, UnderDog, Polow-suck
\nOrigin:<\/strong> Upper Marlboro, Maryland
\nCollege:<\/strong> University of Michigan, Ann Arbor
\nQuote:<\/strong> “Real Gs move in silence like lasagna.”
\nFirst Job:<\/strong> Stable boy at the Prince Georges Equestrian Center
\nCurrent Job:<\/strong> Architect at Watson and Associates
\nCurrent Accomplishments:<\/strong> Being nominated for the 2010 Brendan “Flounder” Hay Memorial Award
\nCurrent Failures:<\/strong> His miscalculations in the design of the Glanzer Dome have set the project back several years.
\nHero:<\/strong> George Michael<\/a>
\nReason to Love Him:<\/strong> He and his linemate Chris are always smiling.
\nReason to Hate Him:<\/strong> He’s stealing precious Lady Byng Awards from Chris.
\nBest Known For:<\/strong> Playing a musical interlude on the saxophone at the BTSH 2010 season ending party
\nFast Fact:<\/strong> As a freshman, Joe was known as the sixth man behind Michigan’s famous Fab Five in basketball.\u00a0 He would regularly sub in for Ray Jackson.\u00a0 Unfortunately, Joe was booted off the team when he told Chris Webber to call a timeout during the final minute of the 1993 national championship game.
\nFavorite Things:<\/strong> Philadelphia Flyers, U2, his yellow Brazil hat, Marlborough Day<\/a>
\nFavorite Imaginary Trophy:<\/strong> The Barnacle Bowl
\nLeast Favorite Things:<\/strong> Ankle injuries, (the) Ohio State, dangerous surfing conditions<\/a>, noisy eaters
\nHockey Comparison:<\/strong> Tim Kerr
\nNon-Hockey Comparison:<\/strong> Joey McIntyre<\/a>
\nThings The Media Will Continue to Overhype About Him:<\/strong> In a questionable decision by the Happy Little Elves management, Joe was allowed to play against them as a Rehab.\u00a0 He proceeded to score a hat trick, boosting the Rehabs to their lone win of the season.
\nDown the Road:<\/strong> Joe coaches the Schumacher Conference All-Stars alongside Mega Touch’s Julie Katz, leading them to victory over the Weyersberg All-Stars coached by the Demons’ Danny Polinsky and the Elves’ Sarah “T-Bone” Torneten.\u00a0 Joe’s team pulls ahead on a game-winning goal by Poutine Machine’s Mike Haas with two minutes remaining in regulation.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"