![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/09\/cheating.jpg\" "\\"Cheating\\"")
<\/a><\/p>\nGAME OF THE WEEK<\/strong> <\/p>\n Filthy Gorgeous (8-6-0-1) at Happy Little Elves (7-5-1-2)<\/strong> Dark Rainbows (8-6-0-1) at LBS, Inc. (9-5-0-1)<\/strong> Mega Touch (4-10-1) at Gut Rot (2-13)<\/strong> Butchers (8-6-1) at La Famiglia (11-1-1-2)<\/strong> Cobra Kai (5-7-1-2) at Unicorns (8-5-0-2)<\/strong> Poutine Machine (11-2-1-1) at Mathematics (6-6-2-1)<\/strong> Corlears Hookers (9-6) at Denim Demons (9-5-0-1)<\/strong> HOCKEY NIGHT IN TOMPKINS (National Telecast)<\/strong> HOCKEY NIGHT IN TOMPKINS (Regional Telecast)<\/strong> BREAKING: Commish Caught Cheating In 2009! GAME OF THE WEEK Sky Fighters (8-3-2-2) at What The Puck (8-5-1-1) Location: Tompkins West, 3:30 PM All-Time Series: Sky Fighters lead 8-3 Game Notes: Playoff seeding implications are on the line as these Hackett Division foes face off for the second time this season. When the Sky Fighters […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[33],"tags":[153,14,308,8],"class_list":["post-4761","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-weekly-previews","tag-2011-season","tag-sky-fighters","tag-weekly-previews","tag-what-the-puck"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4761"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4761"}],"version-history":[{"count":22,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4761\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4810,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4761\/revisions\/4810"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4761"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4761"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4761"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nSky Fighters (8-3-2-2) at What The Puck (8-5-1-1)<\/strong>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins West, 3:30 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Sky Fighters lead 8-3
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> Playoff seeding implications are on the line as these Hackett Division foes face off for the second time this season. When the Sky Fighters and What The Puck met in Week 14, the Fighters prevailed with a solid–though somewhat forgettable–3-1 victory. Since then, however, they have hit a skid, losing to the Happy Little Elves and the Dark Rainbows. The slump has greatly reduced the team’s chances at the division title and with it, the all-important second seed in the playoffs. What The Puck is in even worse shape. The team tied the Rehabs last week, which halted a four-game losing streak. This summer swoon, along with the team’s 0-4-0-1 record in Hackett Division games, has officially eliminated WTP from the division race. However, strong out of division play earlier in the season has provided a cushion to soften the recent fall, and Larry’s Orange Juggernaut sits squarely in the middle of the rather large BTSH bell curve. With two weeks remaining before the playoffs start, both the Sky Fighters and What The Puck will be looking to reverse their recent trends.
\nKeys To The Game:<\/strong>
\n1. As one of the few Sky Fighters to exhibit regular attendance, captain Dan Hopper has shouldered much of the offensive load himself. After scoring twice last week against the Dark Rainbows, Hopper is now tied for fifth in the league with 12 goals.
\n2. After dealing with a revolving door of goaltenders throughout the season, What The Puck has finally regained some stability between the pipes, as offseason acquisition Anthony Romeo is back to close out the season. Although it remains to be seen if this will result in more wins, at the very least, WTP will now have a definitive count on how many saves their goalie makes each game.
\n3. We haven’t seen Brock in a really long time, and we’re extremely concerned. He’s little.
\nEli\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> What The Puck.\u00a0 Wait, it’s technically still summer?\u00a0 Crap.
\nDerek\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> Sky Fighters.\u00a0 Martin has returned to the States after teaching another generation of Czechs how to play 50 minutes a game.
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 4 Watkinsons.\u00a0 Just two points separate these evenly matched teams in the standings.<\/p>\n
\nWritten by Rubens Division correspondent Abby “Tayne” Meisterman<\/em>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins East, 12:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Filthy Gorgeous leads 3-0
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> Last time these two teams met I said the Elves would win because I feared Goalie Shaun deLacy\u2019s wrath. However, his wrath (someone suggested he only graduated from Columbia due to bribery) has apparently sent him to the penalty box so the Elves may either have Capt. Geetch (and the Shrimp Shack Shooters)<\/a> or $howt!m3 (He-Who-Has-Never-Been-Confused-with-the-Cable-Channel-with-Excellent-Programming) in goal. Really!? Yes, really. That\u2019s not to say these options suck, just that… Well… They\u2019re not as good as the Filthy Gorgeous’ offense (Suvin and James<\/a>).
\nScrew it… I forgot to write this write-up even though I asked the Media to remind me. The Media did remind me and I still was too busy (watching Weeds<\/a> via Netflix [speaking of good Showtime programming — although, the last few seasons have not been as good as the first couple]). Then I was hit over the head and dragged to my computer by a rather tall Barbarian. He forced me to drink coffee and chained my appendages to my chair, leaving only my fingers free to type out this drivel.
\nI\u2019d also like to take this opportunity to nominate myself as the Filthy Gorgeous Beat Reporter as I\u2019ve written about them repeatedly. Almost as much as Rich writes about himself.
\nAbby\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> Filthy Gorgeous
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 4.333333 deLacy Tantrums<\/p>\n
\nWritten by Hackett Division Poet Laureate Broderick Barnstable Claytonwickington III, Esq.<\/em>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins West, 12:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> LBS, Inc. leads 8-6-1
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> Ahh, autumn–when earth’s omnipresent arboretum descends toward its wistful hiemal swan song through the effervescent polychromasia of decay, and ozone suffuses the air to nip playfully, like a gossamer puppy, at our proboscii. Woolly sweaters leap as lusty mountain goats from our closets to shroud us with sartorial elan and finesse, and their kith, the prodigal tweed blazers, accompany their return from dark mothballing, passing through the dry cleaners, steamed, pressed, and folded; proud student bodies haunt our boulevards and caravanserai to pursue the freelance epidemiology of the loins. Yes, ’tis the season! But ho, what is this upon the asphalt proscenium? Ahh– street hockey–that most pulchritudinous of games!<\/em>–and with it the looming playoffs, scowling westward like Milton’s Lucifer. Wayward titans clash this dix-huiti\u00e8me de Septembre<\/em> as psychedelia jousts the tycoons. While it would be foolhardy to banish the bleach-white collars of LBS, Incorporated from considerated contention, as of late the Rainbows have sparred with the gladiatorial zeal of Achilles after Patroclus’ demise, notching victories thrice in as many sequential tests. This is a crew seething and champing at their bits with the Nietzschean rage of a gelded Seabiscuit. It is not my way to drop my monocle, choke on my pipe, nor argue a dominant trend; thus hither, I embrace the carnation. That is to say, I think<\/em>, as it were, pink<\/em>.
\nBroderick Barnstable Claytonwickington III, Esq.’s Pick:<\/strong> Dark Rainbows by 1.
\nWatchability:<\/strong> ‘Twill be as thrilling as a reading by Robert Frost.<\/p>\n
\nWritten by MacNeil Division correspondent Sven Larsen<\/em>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins East, 1:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Mega Touch leads 3-0
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> Two of the most likable teams in BTSH get their character put to the test this week in a match that will definitely have an impact on their playoff hopes. Gut Rot gave your intrepid reporter’s Poutine Machine a very competitive game last week, while Mega Touch ran in to the buzzsaw that is this year’s version of Fresh Kills. Both teams are due for a win, but the real question is what will be the impact of NYC Fashion Week on their choice of uniforms? Gut Rot have had more team kits than Barcelona while Mega Touch’s throwback crop top and jean short combo was arguably the sartorial highlight of this BTSH season. Like Alex Eben Meyer’s bubbie used to say, “Come for the street hockey, stay for the fashion.”
\nSven\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> The Megas have a slight edge in talent and team chemistry. This one goes to the Touch.
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 3 Tim Gunns<\/p>\n
\nWritten by Tuques beat reporter Rich Glanzer<\/em>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins West, 1:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> La Famiglia leads 3-0
\nIt will be a joyous time at Tuques Arena as the Tuquers are coming off one of their biggest wins in franchise history when they defeated the no-good, dastardly Hookers last week. While Jesse the Greek has the Tuques giving 3.5 goals to the Butchers, the smart play has the Butchers covering. Ben Bloom will notch two goals and Chris DiMotta will stymie the vaunted Tuques offense. The Tuques will eek out a 4-3 win, but only because of the brilliant captaining of Dave Ladanyi, who will ditch the yellow jerseys at halftime for the red jerseys, thereby confusing the Butchers who are wearing dark maroon.
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> Last week, I predicted the Tuques would beat the Hookers; this week I’m making another bold prediction and am going to say that Diane Johnston will NOT score a goal this Sunday.
\nRich\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> I have to stop giving away the score in the preview. Tuques 4-3
\nWatchability:<\/strong> Should be entertaining, but I’d rather be watching the NFL. 2.5 Budnicks<\/p>\n
\nWritten by Donohue Division correspondent Monica Russo<\/em>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins East, 2:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Unicorns lead 6-0
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> Unless there has been a grave error by the media duo, these teams just played each other last week. At that time, the Unis barely squeaked by with a last minute goal by Coco. But you already know that. [Ed: That can’t possibly be an ADR reference, can it?]<\/em> Possibly Cobra Kai, led by Enayet and the bald man, will come out guns a blazin’ this week to make up for it. The blaze will have to be pretty hot, though, to overcome an all-time series 6-0 lead. Does anyone read these? You guys totally don’t read these, do you?
\nMonica\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> Unicorns. They’re the loveliest of all.
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 5 insert-last-name-heres.<\/p>\n
\nWritten by media intern Shaun deLacy<\/em>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins West, 2:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Tied 1-1-1
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> First, I\u2019d like to address the rumors about being on a secret mission to Azerbaijan for the CIA my presence in net this week being spending cut collateral in anticipation for Obama\u2019s jobs bill absconding to Canada to dodge a CIA hit squad for talking about secret missions breaking into my classmates lockers and tearing necessary pages out of casebooks on the weekends being offered a contract by the New York Giants to fill in the gaps in their nonexistent secondary hiding in various media members\u2019 apartments waiting for the perfect time to strike being sent off on a \u2018gentleman\u2019s expedition\u2019 to watch football all day while barbequing by the enigmatic and shadowy organization known only as the \u2018Office of the Commissioner\u2019<\/del> hiding in my newly constructed biohazard containment area after seeing Contagion. When the megaflu eventually hits, don’t even think about asking to hole up with me. Oh wait, there’s a game preview?
\nMathematics struggled last week and suffered a gut-wrenching loss to the impotent offense of the Tompkins Square Riots. Meanwhile, Poutine continues to roll through the stretch on their way to the current second-best record in BTSH. Facing one of the league\u2019s top goaltenders in Tim Brown, Math\u2019s anemic offense will really need to beef up their time-rate of scoring, else they\u2019ll find the calculus returning an unfavorable result two weeks in a row. Unfortunately for our illustrious titans of media and their comrades, they are looking about ready to endure some serious stomach pain.
\nShaun’s Pick:<\/strong> Gravy, fries and cheese curd. Why don\u2019t our McDonalds sell that?
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 3.12 deLacy whereabouts rumors<\/p>\n
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins East, 3:30 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Corlears Hookers lead 5-2
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> These Rubens Division rivals faced off back in Week 2, when the Corlears Hookers blitzed the Denim Demons 7-3. This time, playoff implications are at the forefront, as the Denim Demons can clinch the Rubens Division with a regulation win and a Happy Little Elves loss or tie. A Corlears Hookers win, however, could leave four teams with a mathematical shot at the Rubens Division title entering the final weekend of the regular season.
\nEli\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> Denim Demons.\u00a0 Grabbing the top seed in the playoffs three years in a row would be quite an accomplishment.
\nDerek\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> Corlears Hookers.\u00a0 Perhaps they’ll actually have more than one sub this week.
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 4.5 Watkinsons<\/p>\n
\nWritten by Hockey Night in Tompkins Correspondent Jesse Kalb<\/em>
\nFresh Kills (11-3-1) at Rehabs (3-7-2-3)<\/strong>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins East, 4:30 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Tied 5-5-1
\nGame Notes:<\/strong>Fresh Kills can clinch a division title with a win, so they should be fired up for this one. The once-powerful Rehabs limp along toward relegation, the wreckage of their season reminding watchers of mad King Lear, thrashing about in a storm while recalling past glories.
\nVegas Line:<\/strong> Fresh Kills by 3
\nJesse the Greek says:<\/strong> Take the points. Rehabs have a knack for keeping games close.
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 2.5 Yelp Reviews<\/p>\n
\nWritten by Hockey Night in Tompkins Correspondent Jesse Kalb<\/em>
\nGouging Anklebiters (5-10) at Tompkins Square Riots (3-11-0-1)<\/strong>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins West, 4:30 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> First Meeting
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> What is there to say that hasn\u2019t already been said about two teams that have combined to let in 65 more goals than they\u2019ve scored this year? I hear the Ankle Biters have no one on the team who can drive a stick shift, and the Riots make a great Mojito. So, yeah.
\nVegas Line:<\/strong> Riots by 1
\nJesse the Greek says:<\/strong> Take the point. Riots deliver.
\nWatchability:<\/strong> Chargers-Patriots, 4:15 on CBS<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"