{"id":5199,"date":"2012-03-06T12:00:13","date_gmt":"2012-03-06T17:00:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/?p=5199"},"modified":"2012-03-08T09:55:20","modified_gmt":"2012-03-08T14:55:20","slug":"2012-season-preview-dark-rainbows","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/2012-season-preview-dark-rainbows\/","title":{"rendered":"2012 Season Preview: Dark Rainbows"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Color:<\/strong>\u00a0Pink
\nYear Founded:<\/strong>\u00a02004
\n2011 Regular Season Finish:<\/strong>\u00a09-7-0 (5th, Hackett Division; 12th overall)
\n2011 Playoff Result:<\/strong>\u00a0Lost to Sky Fighters in round of 16
\nConference:<\/strong>\u00a0Kazin
\nDivision:<\/strong>\u00a0Larsen
\n<\/strong>Team Song:<\/strong>\u00a0Hair<\/a><\/p>\n

Roster<\/strong><\/p>\n

abigail meisterman
\nbrad thomason
\ncorinne rosen
\ndanny polinsky
\ndavid bernstein
\nDez P
\njohn neilsen
\nemily carson
\njason hasday
\njennie brown
\njim dandeneau
\njosh wilson
\njon rudd
\nmegan lohne
\nmeredith hasday
\nmiles hunter
\nmike dudelovitch
\nsandy batista
\nshowtime
\nsean reynolds<\/p>\n

Remember the \u201894 Stanley Cup winning New York Rangers? Remember how they looked a lot like the Edmonton Oilers\u2019 teams of the \u201880s. The 2012 version of the Dark Rainbows may have you doing a similar double take.
\nSean Reynolds, has indeed, gone all Neil Smith on our collective asses.<\/p>\n

We never thought we\u2019d be comparing the 2005-2011 Demons to Gretzky and co. But then again, we never thought we would see a Dark Rainbows roster that looked like this.<\/p>\n

Sure we could accept the defections of Abby \u201cDudemeister\u201d Meisterman and Danny \u201cStripes\u201d Polinsky. They\u2019re the \u201cnice Demons\u201d. But \u201cDandy\u201d Jim Dandenau? $howti3e? Reynolds\u2019 embrace of the dark side of BTSH has many Rainbow followers wondering WWJD?<\/p>\n

No point asking though. He\u2019s retired along with Shortbus, John Meyer and most of the other traditional members of the Rainbow connection. The powerhouse Rainbows team that upset the Hookers and won the league championship a few years ago seems as distant a memory as the \u201cSummer of Love\u201d. You can almost hear the Byrds \u201cTo Everything There is a Season (turn, turn, turn)\u201d playing in the background.<\/p>\n

The ORG would have been fine with all this except for our concern that this also means the retirement of Rainbows uberfan, Violet. We\u2019ve all watched that little girl grow up and if her parents think they can just take her away from us then they\u2019re sadly mistaken. As Sarah Coombs wrote in her seminal childcare book \u201cIT TAKES A HOCKEY LEAGUE\u201d, being around sweaty, hungover weekend athletes is essential to every child\u2019s proper development.<\/p>\n

At least, not everything has changed. The core talent that once made the Rainbows among the league\u2019s most feared franchises remains. Josh, Sean and Gingerballs can bring it. And John \u201cGamechanger\u201d Neilsen remains the most underrated player in the league (trust us, other players would be totally scared of him if they knew who he was). We know they\u2019ll do their best to carry on the proud tradition of the team in pink.<\/p>\n

For the new look Rainbows the keyword is this:<\/p>\n

CHEMISTRY.<\/p>\n

Can Reynolds mold these disparate pieces in to a coherent whole? Will he even try?<\/p>\n

If the answer is yes, then a full spectrum of talent could emerge to dominate their division.<\/p>\n

If not, the 2012 Rainbows could end up resembling my youthful attempts at mixing together everything in my parents liquor cabinet – tough to look at and liable to make you vomit.<\/p>\n

On a serious note, the ORG wants to commend Sean on making sure that one of the league\u2019s classic franchises survives to play another year. It wouldn\u2019t be BTSH without our beloved hippies and win, lose or draw we hope that they\u2019ll be bringing their unique mix of \u201cpeace, love and hockey\u201d to the courts for many seasons to come.
\n
\nEntity They Most Resemble (according to Rich Glanzer)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Entity: NYC Homeless Soccer Team<\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2009\/05\/03\/nyregion\/03homeless.html?pagewanted=all<\/wbr><\/wbr><\/a><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Thanks to trusting Bernie Madoff, there is a dark rainbow covered over our pink heroes. In 2007, they were sipping Mai Tai’s as they beat the Hookers in the finals. For the next three years they traded Fairy Tale Cup Championships with the Unicorns. Things were going good.<\/div>\n
But last year was a disaster, as they not only lost the\u00a0prestigious\u00a0(yet imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup, but all of their women players and many of their men quit as well. Their captain was looking for handouts and after stealing some scrubs from the Demons, and picking off the bottom of the barrel for a few free agents like Bernstein, it looked like the Demons may go winless. But wait…is it a bird?? Is it a plane?? We’re not sure but whoever it is, he’s hitting on your wife and telling her he’s about to retire from BTSH for good…its…its…its $HOWT!M3!<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
So instead of the homeless soccer club, the Dark Rainbows resemble Eminem. Guess whose back?? Back again? $howt!m3’s back, tell a friend…<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Prediction: They will fight for first place in the Larsen Division but probably end up coming in third.<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Color:\u00a0Pink Year Founded:\u00a02004 2011 Regular Season Finish:\u00a09-7-0 (5th, Hackett Division; 12th overall) 2011 Playoff Result:\u00a0Lost to Sky Fighters in round of 16 Conference:\u00a0Kazin Division:\u00a0Larsen Team Song:\u00a0Hair Roster abigail meisterman brad thomason corinne rosen danny polinsky david bernstein Dez P john neilsen emily carson jason hasday jennie brown jim dandeneau josh wilson jon rudd megan lohne […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":529,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[159],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5199","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2012-team-previews"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5199"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/529"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5199"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5199\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5235,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5199\/revisions\/5235"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5199"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5199"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5199"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}