{"id":5213,"date":"2012-03-08T13:29:33","date_gmt":"2012-03-08T18:29:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/?p=5213"},"modified":"2012-03-05T13:59:42","modified_gmt":"2012-03-05T18:59:42","slug":"how-to-look-sexier-at-btsh","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/how-to-look-sexier-at-btsh\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Look Sexier at BTSH"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

With BTSH\u2019s reputation as the most successful matchmaking service this side of CHRISTIANSINGLES.COM (and without all the weird debates about transubstantiation), \u201cHow to be sexier?\u201d is the question on every ball hockey player\u2019s mind right now.<\/p>\n

Luckily THE ORG has your answer.<\/p>\n

Is it about standing next to Adriano while he eats a popsicle in the blazing summer heat? Is it about signing up for \u00a0the Hookers so you can pepper your conversation with prostitution related double entendres? Or joining Filthy Gorgeous just so you can wear those questionable cream colored V-necks?<\/p>\n

Surprisingly, none of the above.<\/p>\n

Recent studies in the NEW ENGLAND JOURNAL OF SPORTS THAT ARE MOSTLY EXCUSES TO DRINK<\/em> shows that volunteering to referee increases subject\u2019s attractiveness by at least 200%. There\u2019s something about a man (or woman) with a whistle that gets everybody\u2019s engines running hot.<\/p>\n

Luckily, BTSH is always on the lookout for new refs. In fact, Danny Polinski is dedicating the first few weeks of the season to training to brand new officials.<\/p>\n

How does reffing make you sexier?<\/p>\n

1)\u00a0\u00a0 You get to know players on other teams. People who don\u2019t know you quite like your teammates do (and thus are more likely to date you).<\/p>\n

2)\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s a thin line between love and hate. And most people hate referees.<\/p>\n

3)\u00a0\u00a0 You get to work with Chris aka \u201cCreamy\u201d aka \u201cDreamy\u201d Dimotta. Can you say \u201chalo effect\u201d?<\/p>\n

4)\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s a proven fact that vertical stripes (even metaphorical ones) are slimming.<\/p>\n

5)\u00a0\u00a0 You\u2019ll be helping out your Captain and teammates. Every BTSH team is supposed to supply three refs and gratitude is a proven aphrodisiac. Teams that don\u2019t supply refs are doomed to lives of alcoholism and celibacy (I\u2019m looking at you 2011 Gut Rot).<\/p>\n

Want to take the first step to the new, better you? Tell your Captain that you\u2019re interested in being an official. You\u2019ll be glad you did.<\/p>\n

Oh and one more thing. Remember to bring your own whistle. THE ORG\u00a0 has no problem with you swapping spit but save it for the ACE, ok?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

With BTSH\u2019s reputation as the most successful matchmaking service this side of CHRISTIANSINGLES.COM (and without all the weird debates about transubstantiation), \u201cHow to be sexier?\u201d is the question on every ball hockey player\u2019s mind right now. Luckily THE ORG has your answer. Is it about standing next to Adriano while he eats a popsicle in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":529,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[176,175,173,174],"class_list":["post-5213","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general-interest","tag-chris-dimotta","tag-danny-polinsky","tag-reffing","tag-sexiness"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5213"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/529"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5213"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5213\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5216,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5213\/revisions\/5216"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5213"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5213"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5213"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}