![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/Week-9-graphic4.jpg\" "\\"Week")
<\/a><\/p>\nGAME OF THE WEEK<\/strong><\/p>\n Corlears Hookers (6-1-0) at Happy Little Elves (4-1-0-2)<\/strong><\/p>\n Location: Tompkins West, 2:00 PM<\/strong><\/p>\n Game Notes:\u00a0<\/strong>Yes, folks it\u2019s a rematch of the championship game that Rich Glanzer hasn\u2019t stopped talking about for three years. How could we not pick it as Game of the Week? While there\u2019s no question that this is a marquee matchup, that\u2019s about the only thing not in doubt about this week\u2019s game. Among the many queries on the minds of interested observers:<\/p>\n 1)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Is Dustin Olson a legitimate Captain or just a puppet leader? So far he\u2019s escaped the Luongo curse but no one really believes that a goalie is the mastermind behind the league\u2019s second most potent offence. Rumors are flying about rampant Sudafed use in the Hookers locker room, a stratagem cooked up by team veteran Al \u201cSniffles\u201d Huang.<\/p>\n 2)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Which team will Jason Eitel play for this week? Photos on this very website lead many to believe that the Elves have pulled off the biggest recruitment coup since Kamdyn Moore decided there were too many lesbians on the Rehabs (at least that\u2019s the reason she\u2019s been giving the ORG for her departure). Your intrepid reporter tried to get the inside scoop for you, dear readers but by the time we caught up with Eitel he and Arthur \u201cBig Red\u201d Revechkis had already polished off their first bottle of whiskey. Eitel\u2019s drunken protestations that \u201cI need Elf love!\u201d only fueled speculation that he had either switched teams or finally revealed his hidden love of LORD OF THE RINGS cosplayers.<\/p>\n 3)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Will the Elves ever win a shootout? A rotating cast in net hasn\u2019t helped matters. But so far this season, the Elves have been like Dave Sokol in the ACE bar. They look good but can\u2019t finish. If goalie Shawn \u201cTenacious D\u201d Lazee is between the Pipes, the Elves might finally turn that trend around. Otherwise, look for the Hookers to play for the tie and win it in the skills competition.<\/p>\n Watchability:\u00a0Hard to call. There\u2019s no doubt that this will be a great game. But if the Hookers wear their purple outfits and the Elves are in their signature green, this will be a hard one to watch for anyone with any sort of fashion sense.<\/p>\n Butchers at Denim Demons<\/strong><\/p>\n Location:\u00a0Tompkins East, 1:00 PM<\/strong><\/p>\n Game Keys:\u00a0<\/strong>The Butchers are coming off of a tough OT loss to the Rainbows last week while a short-sided Demons team managed to take the resurgent Anklebiters to a full-on tie. With only a week\u2019s break this time expect both teams to come surging out of the box in a hard fought battle. That\u2019s what we would write if this game weren\u2019t scheduled at 1 pm. Most of the Butchers will be coming to the game straight from their previous nights activities (rumor has it that team offensive dynamo Georgine Paulin didn\u2019t even know there was a one o\u2019clock in the afternoon). Meanwhile, Demons Captain Adam Rubens aka the Herb Brooks of BTSH has given strict orders that no one is to leave the Demons compound the night before the match. Will this result in a focused squad or Nashville Predators style suspensions for team roustabouts Jeff Kamen and Aaron \u201cCoach\u201d Pagdon? One thing is for sure; if the Butchers want to win this one they better bring extra shoes for co-Captain and part time ragamuffin Rachel Greene.<\/p>\n Gouging Anklebiters at Mathematics<\/strong><\/p>\n By Derek Tagliarino Fan club President Rich Glanzer<\/strong><\/p>\n Location:\u00a0Tompkins West, 1:00 PM<\/strong><\/p>\n Game Keys:\u00a0<\/strong>Last year when these two teams met, some of the legends of BTSH were asked what they thought of the matchup.<\/p>\n Future Hall of Famer and newest Elf Jason Eitel said, “Who vs. who?” Trevor Beauclair said, “None of those players are as good or pretty as me, eh?” And while we’re not sure what exactly Martin Cejka said because we don’t speak\u00a0Czechoslovakian, it sorta sounded like, “No talent fucktards.”<\/p>\n But a new season has brought some new talent to these two teams. Instead of fighting for the 16th seed, these two teams are battling it out for first. Joe P., Craig and Coco have brought new life to the Biters, as they are the clear favorites to win the most prestigious division in hockey. But Math won’t be coming to this gunfight with a knife. They bring BTSH’s newest sensation, Zach Norris. Unlike Madonna, Pele, and Zach Norris’s hero Cher, Zach Norris demands that you call him by his full name at all times. And dammit Zach Norris deserves the respect because he once had a good game for Math. Once.<\/p>\n I see Math really putting a lot of pressure on the Biters. The Math captain will have them ready to play and I see a 3-2 victory for the Mathletes.<\/p>\n Filthy Gorgeous at Fresh Kills<\/strong><\/p>\n By Fresh Kills Beat Reporter Eli Kazin<\/em><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n Location:\u00a0Tompkins East, 2:00 PM<\/strong><\/p>\n Game Keys<\/strong>:\u00a0It is another Bratta Division battle on the docket for Fresh Kills this week, as the defending champs line up against Filthy Gorgeous and the league’s top ranked offense.\u00a0 Leading the way for Filthy Gorgeous is the duo of “Gentleman” James Pereira and Sunny Mehra, who have combined to score 15 of the team’s 24 goals on the season.\u00a0 Pereira currently leads the league with eight goals through seven weeks of play, while Mehra’s seven tallies put him in a multi-way tie for second.\u00a0 As a team, Filthy Gorgeous has put up four or more goals in five of seven games this season, including last week’s overtime loss to the Tompkins Square Riots.\u00a0 Fresh Kills, however, does not seem to be intimidated by this offensive showing.\u00a0 Dave Sokolyansky’s squad held Filthy Gorgeous to its lowest output of the season in a 5-1 win in Week 2, the only regulation loss Filthy Gorgeous has suffered to this point.\u00a0 Five different players scored a goal in that win for Fresh Kills, and a similar effort will likely be needed if the team is going to sweep the season series with Filthy Gorgeous.<\/p>\n Sky Fighters at Tompkins Square Riots<\/strong><\/p>\n Location:\u00a0Tompkins East, 3:00 PM<\/strong><\/p>\n Game Keys:\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n The Riots are coming off an upset victory against Filthy Gorgeous last week that could be the turning point in their season. Whether it was the purposeful absence of Amy Jones or the inspiration that Euro 2012 is providing Patrick Blohme, they looked like the team that easily swept their division a couple of years ago. Unfortunately for TSR as the football festival continues the teams Europeans (who also happen to be their top goal scorers) will be increasingly distracted. Luckily, Sky Fighters face the exact same problem. The solution seems very simple to all of us here at the ORG. Find a friendly bar with a big screen (Kelly\u2019s would be our pick) and settle the whole thing with a good old-fashioned bubble hockey match. In fact, let\u2019s make that an option for all the teams in the league this year.<\/p>\n Are you with me, Captains? And, no, Greg Altman, this does not mean you should go out and recruit \u201cPeggy\u201d for Cobra Kai.<\/p>\n