{"id":5746,"date":"2012-06-21T12:44:10","date_gmt":"2012-06-21T16:44:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/?p=5746"},"modified":"2012-06-21T21:43:39","modified_gmt":"2012-06-22T01:43:39","slug":"week-10-game-previews","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/week-10-game-previews\/","title":{"rendered":"Week 10 Game Previews"},"content":{"rendered":"

GAME OF THE WEEK<\/strong><\/p>\n

Corlears Hookers (7-1-0) at What the Puck (5-1-0-2)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Location: Tompkins West, 5:30 PM<\/strong><\/p>\n

Game Notes:\u00a0<\/strong>The Hookers in another game of the week? Another matchup that\u2019s best watched if you\u2019re colorblind? Damn right. Why are we featuring the Wannabe Habs in the spotlight for a second week running? Justice, that\u2019s why.<\/p>\n

BTSH Fandom was robbed of the classic showdown they were hoping for last week when Hookers Captain\/Goalie and Executive Producer Dustin Olson decided to host the BTSH All-Star game a month early. Unfortunately, he neglected to tell the Elves, and the result was a 6-1 drubbing that would send lesser players in to years of counseling.<\/p>\n

Time for some payback and no one is better poised to bring it than the Orange Juggernaut. WTP has gone from being the team you love to hate to holding a special place in the affections of BTSH fans, largely due to the adorableness of the WTP farm team. With only Peter Putka\u2019s adorable offspring bringing the cute factor for the non-family-friendly-named Hookers, WTP has already won the battle for the hearts and minds of their fellow hockey players. Now they just need to win the battle on the court.<\/p>\n

Time for the Zimm to insist on roster checks and send Dustin, Al Huang and Jason Eitel\u2019s mom a well-earned defeat.<\/p>\n

Watchability:\u00a0No doubt it will be another exciting match between these two top squads. But with a summer heat wave and a 5:30 pm start time, I wouldn\u2019t even expect Hannah\u2019s baby to be watching this one.<\/p>\n

Poutine Machine at Gremlins <\/strong><\/p>\n

Location:\u00a0Tompkins East, 1:00 PM<\/strong><\/p>\n

Game Keys:\u00a0<\/strong>Respect for the Gremlins who went through a bunch of off-season struggles and have put together a very respectable 3-5 record. It helps as well that one of those wins was against their French-Fry-eating opponents this week. No doubt, Poutine will be looking for revenge. But that\u2019s where their French Canadian roots may betray them. If they follow the inspiration of the Quebecers they\u2019re named after, they may accept a bad result for over 400 years but be really annoying in defeat (je me souviens<\/em>, y\u2019all). It will be up to team sparkplugs Marcus \u201cthe Boot\u201d Bonee and Tracy \u201cNo Mercy\u201d Ng to make sure that doesn\u2019t happen. Meanwhile, Gremlin star Jon \u201cEx-Redpants\u201d Rick has convinced his team to embrace a new philosophy when it comes to games. We\u2019re not sure that existentialism and competitive sport are a good mix, but we applaud Jon\u2019s willingness to try new things.<\/p>\n

Sky Fighters at Filthy Gorgeous<\/strong><\/p>\n

Location:\u00a0Tompkins West, 1:00 PM<\/strong><\/p>\n

Game Keys:\u00a0<\/strong>For years, people have said that you only need to watch the last five minutes of any NBA game. The same might be true of these two teams.<\/p>\n

Filthy lost a heartbreaker to Fresh Kills last week thanks mainly to Dave Sokol\u2019s unwillingness to be Dustin Olson. Meanwhile, Skyfighters staged a last minute comeback against the Riots and pulled out a shootout victory.<\/p>\n

So, here\u2019s what you do: head over to Doc\u2019s, get yourself a nice, pint-glass sized Bloody Mary and come watch this match with, oh, let\u2019s say, 7 minutes left. You should see at least three goals and (depending on who\u2019s winning) a lot of Czech cursing or a five-minute standup routine from Filthy\u2019s Matt Novick. Either is worth the price of admission.<\/p>\n

La Famiglia at Denim Demons<\/strong><\/p>\n

By La Famiglia Beat Reporter Bill Tucker<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Location:\u00a0Tompkins East, 2:00 PM<\/strong><\/p>\n

Game Keys<\/strong>: \u00a0<\/p>\n

Remember Attack of the Killer Tomatoes<\/a>?\u00a0 That was a great movie.\u00a0 The Denim Demons of yesteryear remind me of that classic 1978 film.\u00a0 The Red Army of old stomped through opposing competition, running amok in the Bratta Division.\u00a0 This year\u2019s squad is reminiscent of the movie\u2019s end, all shrunken vegetables and shattered dreams.\u00a0 With half of the squad leaving for rainbow colored pastures, Adam \u201cWhere\u2019s My Nickname\u201d Rubens\u2019 team is in rebuilding mode.\u00a0 With new acquisitions like Brian \u201cMr. Nice Guy\u201d Kubocik and Jen \u201cJersey Pride\u201d Popack, the team is looking to build with youth and wanton drunkenness.\u00a0 My kind of people.\u00a0\u00a0 But don\u2019t count the perennial powerhouses out just yet.\u00a0 With Coach<\/a> between the pipes and Mike Pereira finding his scoring touch, this team can beat anybody any given weekend, proven last Sunday with a 2-1 victory over the Butchers.\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

Remember The Godfather?\u00a0 That was a great movie.\u00a0 When you first meet Don Corleone, he looks like a doddering old fool with cotton balls in his cheeks.\u00a0 Fast forward an hour, and he\u2019s a dangerous fella.\u00a0 La Famiglia of this year mirrors the classic Coppola film in more ways than one.\u00a0 Starting the season off slow, The Family has since made the Brown<\/a> division an offer they can\u2019t refuse.\u00a0 Give us the respect we deserve or we\u2019ll bring the pain.\u00a0 What The Puck learned this the hard way last week in a 3-1 defeat to the Omnipotent Octopi (this nickname is based on the vague notion that their new uniforms have an octopus on them.\u00a0 If not, blame it on a Templeton Rye induced blackout).\u00a0 La Famiglia has found their form but if they look past the Denim Demons, they may be in for a rude awakening<\/a>.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Dr Hunter S. Tompkins Official Prediction \u2013 When we arrived at Ace Bar, we were surrounded by wild, mutant vegetables.\u00a0 All frothing and drinking and making a ruckus.\u00a0 Luckily, Dave Ladanyi was there to beat them back to oblivion as Famiglia will do to the Demons by a score of 2 \u2013 1.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Mega Touch at Cobra Kai<\/strong><\/p>\n

By ORG Special Correspondent Monica Russo<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Location:\u00a0Tompkins West, 2:00 PM<\/strong><\/p>\n

Game Keys:\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Mega Touch at Cobra Kai is one of those games that you’d think would slip under the radar. You’d be wrong about that, however. \u00a0Last week, Cobra Kai faced Gut Rot and won 10-1 (!!), while (You’ve Got the) Touch only eked 2 points past the Gremlins.\u00a0<\/p>\n

The heat, however, is going to be the great equalizer. It’s gonna be hot as balls this week. Like, old-school-August-break hot. So keep some ice in your pants, and watch Cobra Kai squeak a win against MT by the skin of their teeth.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Happy Little Elves at Gut Rot<\/strong><\/p>\n

Location:\u00a0Tompkins East, 3:00 PM<\/strong><\/p>\n

Game Keys:\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Both teams are coming off of drubbings last week (Jenna\u2019s lovable losers lost 6-1 to the aforementioned Hookers while the Rotties had a bad day and a 10-1 defeat from Cobra Kai). We\u2019d like to think that the two sides would comfort each other, like survivors of other traumatic experiences like the Bosnian War or a night on the town with Ellery. Unfortunately, we know this won\u2019t be the case. Why? Mary Pratt. She\u2019s returned to GutRot to take the promised land of the playoffs and she\u2019s sworn to carve a path through any team that gets in her way. We have it on good authority from Dave that she\u2019s repeatedly watched the hockey classic SLAPSHOT while muttering \u201cDr. Hook. He had the right idea.\u201d This should be a very fun game if the refs can control Pratt\u2019s hooligan tendencies. But if the umps put their whistles in their pockets \u2026 there will be blood.<\/p>\n

Gouging Anklebiters at Dark Rainbows<\/strong><\/p>\n

Location:\u00a0Tompkins West, 3:00 PM<\/strong><\/p>\n

Game Keys:\u00a0<\/strong>Two sides that have seen significant roster changes this year go head to head and \u2026 no, we can\u2019t do this. We need to talk about Abby Meisterman.<\/p>\n

Abby joined the best damn reporting team in hockey. And we were happy to have her. But to date she\u2019s yet to submit a single assignment. Sure, she\u2019s had good excuses: \u201cI\u2019m in St. Croix,\u201d \u201cI have avian bone syndrome but only in my fingers,\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t really like writing for the site and I\u2019m pretty sure I never agreed to this.\u201d But we\u2019re not buying it. She\u2019s clearly part of Rich Glanzer\u2019s transparent attempt to sabotage the site.<\/p>\n

Plus, she has yet to get together with teammate Mike Dudelovitch, thwarting our attempts to refer to the two of them as \u201cDudemeister\u201d.<\/p>\n

You broke our hearts, Abby.<\/p>\n

Game prediction: GAB over Rainbows 3-2 in a shootout.<\/p>\n

Butchers at Rehabs<\/strong><\/p>\n

By BTSH\u2019s Answer to Pierre Maguire, Rich Glanzer<\/em><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Location:\u00a0Tompkins East 4:30 PM<\/strong><\/p>\n

Game Keys:\u00a0<\/strong>The Butchers play the Reeeeeee-haaaaaabbbs in this Reeeeee—maaaaatch of the 2010 playoffs in which Arthur scored in a shootout to send the Rehabbers to an early postseason bender. Last week Arthur, Ben Bloom and Rachel Greene pulled double duty and played for the Hookers against the Elves. This week the Hookers offered to repay the favor and play for the Butchers, but Larry Zimmer of WTP vetoed that agreement since the Rehabs are the minor league affiliate of WTP.<\/p>\n

So now that the game will be void of Hooker Ringers, who will win this matchup? The Butchers, since the Rehabs SUCK! OK, I really don’t think the Rehabs suck but Sven keeps writing that and I keep getting accused by Rehabbers of being the one to write it, so I sorta wanted to actually say it.<\/p>\n

The Rehabs are actually quite good. They have the best fore-checking team in the league and a good not great team defense. The Butchers have better BTSH superstars and if they can match the\u00a0Rehabs\u00a0intensity, they will have the edge. I see that happening and give the Butchers a 2-0 victory.<\/p>\n

Not-so-fun fact: Rob B. said, “Since Kehoe and MDF are going to be gone next season, I may join Romeo and whatshername and play for the WTP come September.” True story, he actually said that.*<\/p>\n

Tompkins Square Riots at Lbs. Inc.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Location:\u00a0Tompkins West, 4:30 PM<\/strong><\/p>\n

Game Keys:\u00a0<\/strong>We were tempted to make this Game of the Week, largely due to the performance that the resurgent Riots put in against the Skyfighters last week. TSR dominated the first half of that game and it took a Messier-like individual effort from Martin Cejka to get the \u2018Fighters the \u201cW.\u201d If they can bring the same form this week against the Lbs., expect this to be a very entertaining match. They\u2019ll need every ounce of talent they have as Sasha\u2019s Preppy Puckies are marching to a Brown division win with the inevitability of a Romney nomination campaign. Can the Riots be Rick Santorum for a week? Let\u2019s watch.<\/p>\n

Fresh Kills at Mathematics<\/strong><\/p>\n

By Fresh Kills Beat Reporter Eli Kazin<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Location:\u00a0Tompkins East, 5:30 PM<\/strong><\/p>\n

Game Keys:\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0Hey, remember when Scott Lee used to play for the Mathematics? Derek Tagliarino sure does, and he can take solace in knowing that since Lee left Math to join Fresh Kills, life has been rather unkind to Lee. First, Lee choked away a late lead in the Fastest Male Competition at the 2011 BTSH Skills Competition, allowing David Kenneth Fraser to claim the title of fastest male in BTSH. Then, due to an inability to finish on his bevy of scoring chances, Lee was demoted to Fresh Kills’ fourth line, where his line mates were Nick Scott’s Labrador retriever and a cardboard cutout of Steph Opitz. Finally, Lee’s passion for the game of street hockey waned significantly, forcing him into an early semi-retirement. Lee’s plight, however, is fairly common among former Mathematics, as many have suffered a similar fate after leaving for supposedly greener pastures. Sarah “T-Bone” Torneten joined the Happy Little Elves midway through the 2009 season, but blew out her knee soon after, and missed large parts of multiple seasons. Georgine Paulin bolted for the Butchers prior to the start of the 2010 season, and is consistently greeted with a lusty chorus of boos from the fans whenever she touches the ball. Even Hector “$h0wT!m3” Melendez (yes, he was a Mathematic for half a season) has not been immune to this misfortune. His Battledome presence is a shell of what it once was and he was not even put on the 2012 BTSH All-Star Game fan ballot, which was released last week. Additionally, no former Mathematic has even won a BTSH Media Award after leaving the team, while many current Mathematics possess a Media Award, including those beloved\u00a0btsh.org<\/a>\u00a0editors emeritus (2011’s Best Duo, yo!). Oh, and as for this game, Math is so going to win.<\/p>\n

Editor\u2019s Note: We always thought those \u201cMedia Awards\u201d were rigged. We\u2019ll be petitioning the Commissioner\u2019s office for some representatives from Price-Waterhouse to attend this year\u2019s ceremony.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

GAME OF THE WEEK Corlears Hookers (7-1-0) at What the Puck (5-1-0-2) Location: Tompkins West, 5:30 PM Game Notes:\u00a0The Hookers in another game of the week? Another matchup that\u2019s best watched if you\u2019re colorblind? Damn right. Why are we featuring the Wannabe Habs in the spotlight for a second week running? Justice, that\u2019s why. BTSH […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":529,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[33],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5746","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-weekly-previews"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5746"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/529"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5746"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5746\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5748,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5746\/revisions\/5748"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5746"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5746"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5746"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}