{"id":6083,"date":"2012-10-04T16:54:58","date_gmt":"2012-10-04T20:54:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/?p=6083"},"modified":"2012-10-05T07:24:38","modified_gmt":"2012-10-05T11:24:38","slug":"playoffs-round-of-16-part-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/playoffs-round-of-16-part-3\/","title":{"rendered":"Playoffs – Round of 16 – Part 3"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

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#11 Happy Little Elves at #6 Butchers<\/strong><\/p>\n

by Bill “Don’t F**k It Up” Tucker<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Tompkins Square West, 1:00 pm<\/strong><\/p>\n

When it comes to teams doing things loudly, the Happy Little Elves rank in the upper echelon of that esteemed category.\u00a0 Fueled by the bravado of team captain Rich \u201cFlair Chop\u201d Glanzer, the Elves are still riding high from their championship run from two years ago.\u00a0 Newbies to the league may look at the Killer Keeblers<\/a> and think, \u201c11th<\/sup> seed?\u00a0 Whatevs\u201d but long time BTSHers know the truth.\u00a0 The Happy Little Elves may falter in the regular season but they always come alive when the air turns crisper.\u00a0 With a solid core of scoring dynamo Trevor \u201cLegolas<\/a>\u201d Beauclair, the always scrappy Jenna \u201cLink From The Legend of Zelda\u201d Cruff and the pure intimidation of Ben \u201cSnap, Crackle, Pop<\/a>\u201d Chadwick, the 2011 version of the Happy Little Hobgoblins should continue to be a tough out.<\/p>\n

When it comes to doing things quietly, nobody flies under the radar like the sixth seeded Butchers.\u00a0 Three years separated from the drunken chutzpah of Mexican Standoff, the Maniacal Meat Cleavers have silently turned themselves into one of the most dangerous teams in the league.\u00a0 Captain Ben Bloom is a lethal sniper, Eric Ramirez is the most underrated keeper in the game and Georgine \u201cHatty\u201d Paulin will drink you under the table while putting three past your goalie.\u00a0 Oh, and you still have to contend with Creamy, Rachel Greene and Arthur \u201cFine Music Taste<\/a>\u201d Revechkis.\u00a0 Not any easy task at all, so expect a spirited contest this Sunday.\u00a0 Ahem\u2026weather permitting<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Now, usually at this point in the write up, I devolve into lies and wild accusations, all littered with generous helping of topical links (ala Abby M).\u00a0 But when Patrick sent out these assignments, he asked us to step it up, so step it I will.\u00a0 Let\u2019s drop some science on this bitch with three interesting factoids about this crucial Round of 16 matchup.<\/p>\n

SCIENCE<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Despite being a contest between the 6th<\/sup> and 11th<\/sup> seeds, only two points separate the Butchers (22) from the Elves (20).\u00a0 The twist?\u00a0 The Elves play a in much tougher division.\u00a0 Hmmmmm\u2026..<\/li>\n
  2. Butchers goaltender Eric \u201c0.0001 GAA\u201d Ramirez has not surrendered more than two goals in any start he\u2019s had this season, regardless of the team he\u2019s played for.\u00a0 (statistic not verified, rather overheard in a boast-off with Pete Lang at last week\u2019s women\u2019s tournament.)<\/li>\n
  3. Elves enforcer Sarah Torneten can knock back an Irish Car Bomb like it\u2019s nobody\u2019s business.\u00a0 Seriously, we\u2019re talking four seconds from drop to slam.\u00a0 Intimidation edge to the Gang in Green.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Dr. Hunter S. Tompkins Official Prediction:\u00a0 <\/strong>Separated from my usual beat, I find myself in unknown waters.\u00a0 Who are these Elves and why are they so happy given our current economic turmoil?\u00a0 Who are these Enigmatic Executioners, boozed up ramblers who play a disciplined brand of hockey. \u00a0Instead of seeking answers to these quandaries, Dr. Gonzo and I snuck into the Central Park Zoo at three in the morning to eat fine meats & cheeses off the back a Siberian Tiger.\u00a0 Nothing enhances the thrill of charcuterie like the threat of a good mauling.\u00a0 Good times.\u00a0 Oh, the game?\u00a0 In the playoffs, goaltending is everything.\u00a0 Butchers with the victory by the swipe of a hopped up jungle cat.<\/p>\n

    #9 Cobra Kai at #8 La Famiglia<\/strong><\/p>\n

    by Abby “Link Queen” Meisterman<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

    Tompkins Square West, 2:00 pm<\/strong><\/p>\n

    Had Dave Ladanyi sent one of his spies over to the Dojo this week to prepare for this week\u2019s match-up, he may have received a report about activity reminiscent of\u00a0Kreese\u2019s inspirational speech<\/a>. Suffice it to say, Greg Altman is not messing around with the playoffs this year. Under his watch, Cobra Kai has shown some firepower: scoring duo JJ Murphy and Mark Talercio should not be underestimated and Becky Pear has been scoring goals all season and not just for her team. Greg is hoping to even\u00a0pull from his injury roster<\/a>\u00a0as forward Rem Garavito Bruhn was seen just a few weeks ago in his season 2012 debut against the Dark Rainbows. Even co-captain Meredith Sladek has gotten competitive as she\u2019s been feeding goalie Pete Lang\u00a0downers\u00a0<\/a>to help keep his cool.<\/p>\n

    Though fear does not exist in the Dojo, they do have reasons\u00a0to be afraid<\/a>. Denis Miciletto is always a threat on the court — and in the kitchen (supposedly his muscles marinara rivals Adriano Bratta\u2019s) — \u00a0especially when paired with Shafiq Perry. Miciletto led the league in goals scored last year, if I recall correctly. Haanwa Chau has been in touch with her Italian roots lately, cooking up a\u00a0huge plate of carbs<\/a>\u00a0(and kick ass) for her team so they\u2019re ready for their 2pm show-down.<\/p>\n

    Last year Cobra Kai lost in the opening round of the playoffs, so they\u2019ve already outdone themselves this season, and La Famiglia went out in the round of 16. Both teams boast similar records, and even though Famiglia has been playing in a higher division & conference, look for this to be a very solid match-up.<\/p>\n

    \u201cNo commercials! No mercy!<\/a>\u201d<\/p>\n

    #16 Mega Touch at #2 What The Puck<\/strong><\/p>\n

    by Monica “No More Drama” Russo<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

    Tompkins Square West, 3:30 pm<\/strong><\/p>\n

    I’m going to be the one to say it: this match isn’t entirely unfair.<\/p>\n

    Nah. Listen: WTP has an awesome squad. True. But rumor has it, they have a bit of trouble getting a consistant bench together. This is actually news to me; it always seems that the WTP farm team is in full force. But let’s go with it for the sake of this writeup.<\/div>\n
    <\/div>\n
    The Touch, however, have had pretty much the same team show up every week since the beginning of their time in the league. Also, we need an upset. I love the fact that this season has been pretty much drama-free, but we need something to talk about. And now that we’re all old, this qualifies as drama.<\/div>\n
    <\/div>\n
    In all seriousness: if Mega Touch brings the game they brought against Gut Rot last week, this could be a really fun game to watch.<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      #11 Happy Little Elves at #6 Butchers by Bill “Don’t F**k It Up” Tucker Tompkins Square West, 1:00 pm When it comes to teams doing things loudly, the Happy Little Elves rank in the upper echelon of that esteemed category.\u00a0 Fueled by the bravado of team captain Rich \u201cFlair Chop\u201d Glanzer, the Elves are […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":529,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[33],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6083","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-weekly-previews"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6083"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/529"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6083"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6083\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6087,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6083\/revisions\/6087"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6083"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6083"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6083"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}