{"id":7189,"date":"2013-04-18T11:32:02","date_gmt":"2013-04-18T15:32:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/?p=7189"},"modified":"2013-04-18T14:05:14","modified_gmt":"2013-04-18T18:05:14","slug":"week-4-previews-part-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/week-4-previews-part-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Week 4 Previews – Part 2"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Week3_GOTW_graphic\"<\/a>
GAME OF THE WEEK
<\/b><\/b>What the Puck at Dark Rainbows<\/b><\/b>
<\/b>1:00 pm, East Court<\/p>\n

<\/b>We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again, it’s time for universal BTSH daycare. Yes, Donovan and his pal found ways to entertain themselves last week. But what if Sean really needed that stick? Someone would’ve ended up crying and our money would be on the Dark Rainbows Captain. Meanwhile, Hannah spent the bulk of last week’s WTP game making sure her little guy didn’t make it “Too Many Men” for Orange Crush. He definitely wanted in on the action.<\/p>\n

What does all this mean for this week’s game? Distractions, lots of distractions. WTP and the Rainbows are actually very similar teams, so it’s all down to doing the little things right. Winning the battles in the corners. Putting just the right spin on the ball. Stealing “Ginger Balls”‘s phone and texting John Nielsen the wrong game time. <\/p>\n

It’s a game of inches between these too and no one will be surprised if this one ends in a shoot out.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Just make sure the OT doesn’t cut into anyone’s nap time, ok refs?<\/p>\n

Gouging Anklebiters at Filthy Gorgeous<\/b>
<\/b>2:00 pm, East Court
<\/b>by Bill “It Ain’t easy Being Smooth” Tucker<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Felled by the stifling defense of the Gremlins last week, Phil Donahue\u2019s band of fun loving malcontents looks to rebound against the Dirty Beauties.\u00a0 According to the Prestigious Yet Imaginary Records Department of the ORG, the Anklebiters\u2019 Joe \u201cWe Don\u2019t Need No Stinkin\u2019 Last Name\u201d P. has yet to score a goal this season.\u00a0 If he has, ignore this journalistic insight as hangover induced malarkey.\u00a0 The one thing I do know is the Anklebiter\u2019s Ace Bar supremacy.\u00a0 At the post game festivities, expect Craig to say something hilariously offensive, Caroline to draw dirty pictures on trivia score sheets and Courtney \u201cCoco\u201d Butler to smile a lot.\u00a0 The Anklebiters kinda rock like that.<\/p>\n

Before they even get to the bar, they face a determined Filthy Gorgeous team still looking for their first victory.\u00a0 Lighting the lamp has been an issue for the Valiant V-Necks so far this season.\u00a0 Despite good team play and the solid goaltending of Dan Owens, 4 goals in 3 games ain\u2019t gonna cut it in a division comprised of the Purple People Eaters, last year\u2019s champs and Romeo\u2019s Raiders.\u00a0 Luckily, Filthy has a bold plan: clone James Periera, who looks to be getting off the snide.\u00a0 Hopefully for Filthy, the procedure is more The Clones of Bruce Lee<\/a> than Verne Troyer<\/a> if they hope to topple an Anklebiters squad hungry to avenge a loss of their own.<\/p>\n

Dr. Hunter S. Tompkins Official Prediction:<\/b>\u00a0 Zounds!\u00a0 My spot on prediction of last week\u2019s Biters \/ Gremlins game has shaken me to my core.\u00a0 What combination of mescaline, bleach and Folgers decaffeinated coffee crystals spurred this premonition?\u00a0 To know the future is to limit your options, so I\u2019ll make a completely blind guess this week.\u00a0 No offense to Monica and the rest of the Gorgeous crew, 3-0 in favor of the Biters.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

LBS. at Mathematics<\/b>
<\/b><\/b>3:00 pm, West Court<\/b><\/p>\n

<\/b><\/em>While we struggle with our own internal conflicts, the defending champs will struggle with figuring out how to get balls past the Mathematics’ 7 foot goalie. Seriously guys, it would take two Seths to make one Will Gahagan. Is that really fair? Not only does the Man Mountain take up a lot of room in net, he’s an effective deterrent against Ken and Karsten’s patented “charge to the net” strategy. LBS will have to rely on secondary scoring from some of their underrated second liners like\u00a0Ali Chenitz & Jason Bogdaneris. Of course, Math have a few non-Norris weapons up their sleeves as well. Andy Pratt remains an ageless wonder on wing and Brad Schmidt, Adam Langer and “the Lizs”.<\/p>\n

In the end, we expect the LBS. age and cunning to edge out Math’s youth and enthusiasm. But it will be close.
Our prediction: LBS 4, Mathematics3 (OT)

<\/b><\/em>Gremlins at Butchers<\/b>
<\/b>4:30 pm, West Court<\/b>
by Abby “Just the Facts” Meistermann<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

This game finds both teams are fresh off Week 3 wins: the Butchers made mincemeat of the Tompkins Square Riots and the Gremlins gouged the Anklebiters. However, the Gremlins go into this match-up with a -4 goal difference (thanks to Fresh Kills) to the Butchers +1. Gremlins\u2019 goalie, Jamie (Without a roster I\u2019m basing this on the Week 1 box scores.), has his\/her (Sorry, still don\u2019t know!) work cut out him\/her (Maybe both? That\u2019d be cool.) if Butchers bring the big guns of Revechkis, Greene, McMasters, and Bebeared Ben Bloom<\/a> . However, Caitlin\u2019s never been one to shy away from a challenge: she\u2019ll be sure to rally Coco (Ed’s note: we’re well aware that Coco has been on the Anklebiters for two years. Apparently no one has told Abby yet)<\/em>, Stripe, and Mark into action. With both teams on the rise and around the same point in the standings, this game should be evenly matched and probably a solid game to watch.<\/p>\n

Things to expect: The sequel to this game on July 21, 2013, being hailed as inferior.
\nThings to hope for: Gremlins being busted for performance enhancing drug use<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Poutine Machine at Happy Little Elves<\/b>
<\/b>5:30 pm, West Court<\/b>
by Eli “It’s Better Than Doing Homework” Kazin<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

What is going on with Poutine Machine? Their three losses so far equals their regular season total for 2011 and is just one less than their regular season total for all of last season. It’s not like the personnel is that different, either. Tim “Virgil” Brown is still manning the crease, Sven Patrick Larsen is still calling the shots, and they even poached Jerome “Hornswoggle” Ramos from the Happy Little Elves during the off-season. Through three games, though, the offense has mustered just one goal. But hey, that goal was scored in the second half of last week’s game, so…progress?<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
The Happy Little Elves, on the other hand, have logged three wins to start the season, and have not appeared to miss Jerome. In fact, two of their new acquisitions, Chris Tennekoon and Anthony Sigreti, have each scored overtime winners, proving once again that Jenna Cruff owns the off-season.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Perhaps all Poutine Machine needs to get going is a little motivation, and getting a win for Jerome against his former mates might do the trick. I think they will get more than one goal on Sunday (more progress?), but not more than the Elves. Happy Little Elves 4, Poutine Machine 2.<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

GAME OF THE WEEKWhat the Puck at Dark Rainbows1:00 pm, East Court We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again, it’s time for universal BTSH daycare. Yes, Donovan and his pal found ways to entertain themselves last week. But what if Sean really needed that stick? Someone would’ve ended up crying and our money […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":529,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[33],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7189","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-weekly-previews"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7189"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/529"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7189"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7189\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7196,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7189\/revisions\/7196"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7189"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7189"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7189"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}