![\"Lord](\"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/03\/mathematics2009.jpg\" "\\"Lord")
<\/a><\/p>\nColor:<\/strong> Gray <\/p>\n With fan attendance at an all time low last season, the Mathematics front office spent several all-nighters this offseason concocting new and exciting ways to generate fan interest.\u00a0 They have already scheduled several themed promotional days including Italian Heritage Day, Jeff Contray Appreciation Day, and 1980s Day.\u00a0 In addition, a homecoming celebration is in the works for the weekend of June 28, when the Mathematics\u00a0face off against the Happy Little Elves.\u00a0 Floats, a bonfire, a parade, and fireworks are all expected.<\/p>\n In addition, the Mathematics have made several roster moves in hopes of energizing its depleted fan base.\u00a0 With resentment for former co-captain Sharif “The Chocolate Buzzsaw” Corinaldi at an all-time high, management had no choice other than shipping him to its farm team in California.\u00a0 Needless to say, Corinaldi was not amused\u00a0with this demotion.\u00a0\u00a0Sadly, the team’s other former co-captain\u00a0and goalie\u00a0Sarah Coombs will sit out for a majority of the season with a bun in the oven.\u00a0 To replace her, the Mathematics signed local product Joe Boshko, who impressed management on a scouting trip to Roosevelt Island.\u00a0 Captain Derek Tagliarino also claims to have “bought” star prospect Jim Nolan, who brings legions of followers from the New England area, and whose notorious shimmy drives the ladies wild.<\/p>\n Whether these moves can pull the Mathematics out of the red remains to be seen.<\/p>\n Food They Closely Resemble:<\/strong> Organic Produce<\/em>.\u00a0 Certainly, there isn’t a lot that’s actually bad here, and there are\u00a0probably even a few benefits to having them around.\u00a0\u00a0 However, at a certain point, you have to believe the media has taken the hype a little too far, and nothing could possibly be as good as they’re making it seem…or can it? ROSTER<\/strong> Bow Down To Lord Jeff Color: Gray Year Founded: 2006 2008 Regular Season Finish: 6-11 (13th place) 2008 Playoff Result: Lost to Filthy Gorgeous in first round Division: Woodsworth 2009 Marketing Slogan: “Can’t Wait!” Key Additions: Joe Boshko (Free Agent), Jim Nolan (Free Agent) Key Losses: Sarah Coombs (Pregnancy), Sharif “The Chocolate Buzzsaw” Corinaldi (Graduate […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[122],"tags":[123,35,18],"class_list":["post-722","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2009-team-previews","tag-2009-season","tag-mathematics","tag-team-previews"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/722"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=722"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/722\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":933,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/722\/revisions\/933"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=722"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=722"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=722"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nYear Founded:<\/strong> 2006
\n2008 Regular Season Finish:<\/strong> 6-11 (13th place)
\n2008 Playoff Result:<\/strong> Lost to Filthy Gorgeous in first round
\nDivision:<\/strong> Woodsworth
\n2009 Marketing Slogan:<\/strong> “Can’t Wait!”
\nKey Additions:<\/strong> Joe Boshko (Free Agent), Jim Nolan (Free Agent)
\nKey Losses:<\/strong> Sarah Coombs (Pregnancy), Sharif “The Chocolate Buzzsaw” Corinaldi (Graduate School)<\/p>\n
\nFast Fact:<\/strong> Adam Langer was raised by wild wolves until the age of eight.<\/p>\n
\nAmy Anderla
\nJoe Boshko
\n“Lord” Jeffrey Contray
\nKate Gillen
\nJeff “The Hawk” Hawkins
\nEli Kazin
\nAdam Langer
\nAndrew Lu
\nLaura MacNeil (C)
\nJim Nolan
\nSheena Otto
\nGeorgina “Mulva” Paulin
\nAndrew Pratt
\nBradley Schmidt
\nMark “Sully” Sullivan
\nDerek Tagliarino (C)
\nSarah “T-Bone” Torneten
\nHarmon Walsh<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"