{"id":7431,"date":"2013-05-16T10:37:42","date_gmt":"2013-05-16T14:37:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/?p=7431"},"modified":"2013-05-16T11:32:45","modified_gmt":"2013-05-16T15:32:45","slug":"week-7-game-previews-part-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/week-7-game-previews-part-1\/","title":{"rendered":"Week 7 – Game Previews, Part 1"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"btsh_week7-previewgraphic1\"<\/a>
\n<\/p>\n

GAME OF THE WEEK
Mathematics at Happy Little Elves<\/strong>

\n3:00 pm, Tompkins Square East<\/strong><\/p>\n

Editor’s Note: Did you really think Rich and Eli wouldn’t have something to say about this game?<\/p>\n

Game Preview 1: The Elves Perspective<\/strong>
by Rich Glanzer<\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/em><\/em><\/em>So as everyone in the BTSH Universe knows my birthday is\u00a0May 23, and every year I celebrate my bday with my real family, the Happy Little Elves the\u00a0Sundayclosest to the day. This is a big day for my opponents as every captain wants to be the team that can make\u00a0legendary\u00a0status and beat the Elves on my bday game. Last year Derk & Elly decided the Lbs. were worthy, and we crushed them and ruined their season when we beat them 6-1. They were basically useless after that game and no one remembers what they did after. (Cue the emails from Ken\/Sasha)<\/p>\n

This year Derk & Elly decided that their little team of Mathletes were ready to play against the big boys. I mean no offense but c’mon guys. You may play in the Glanzer Division, but you my friends…don’t belong on the same rink with me, Beauclair, Big Mike, Budnick or Gil’s son. Yes, I know, last year you beat us in a shootout when we were basically on our August break. It was a season making victory for you to be sure, but we all felt like we just donated money to charity when you won. In fact, after we lost to you, when some poor 7-year-old girl with one leg asked me to help her cross the street, I kicked her leg out and told her, “I already gave to charity this year…son.” True story.<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

So tell Becky Norris to tell her mother to bring her dancing shoes, because after we beat you on the holy grail of TSP’s East Court, I’m going to have a dance off with Zack’s, Becky’s, their brother Daryl’s, and their other brother Daryl’s mother. And I’m going to beat her too…because Richie Hero doesn’t lose on the rink, or on the dance floor. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!\u00a0<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

Because we are the Happy….Little…..<\/span>Elves….4 Lyfe!!\u00a0
Elves 5 Math 2. I prove why I’m a hero and score my first goal of the season.\u00a0<\/div>\n


<\/strong><\/em>
Game Preview 2: The Math Perspective<\/strong>
by Eli “Belts” Kazin<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em>The Happy Little Elves are looking good with a 5-1 record, but this week, the Elves face a stiff test as the Mathematics come calling.\u00a0 The Elves and Mathematics have built an underrated, but generally fun, rivalry over the years.\u00a0 Remember how Rich constantly mentions the Elves winning their first game ever (the real Miracle at Moffo, if you ask me) against the Tuques back in 2008?\u00a0 Well, do you know who dealt the Elves their first loss ever?\u00a0 That’s right, the Mathematics.\u00a0 And what a loss it was.\u00a0 Math thumped the Elves by a 6-1 score, and the Elves did not win a game again until Week 4 of the 2009 season.\u00a0 Of course, Rich did score the Elves lone goal of that game, which should be noted in order to prevent Rich from constantly reminding us.\u00a0 In recent years, matchups between these teams have focused on championship belts.\u00a0 The Elves won the initial belt versus belt battle, but Math won back the belts in 2012, with Bradley Schmidt scoring the shootout winner, which he is always quick to point out.<\/p>\n

So what is in store for this matchup?\u00a0 Well, expect someone on Math to hit Ben Chadwick with one of the belts when the refs aren’t looking, allowing Math to gain a personnel advantage.\u00a0 Expect multiple members of the Norris and Valdez families on the court at the same time.\u00a0 Expect a lot of goals, because both teams are very adept at putting the ball in the back of the net.\u00a0 And expect Math to win, 5-3, because nothing would be a better birthday gift for Math’s biggest fan, Rich Glanzer, than a solid win.<\/p>\n

Rich’s video reply to Eli’s writeup<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/strong>Editor’s Note: We don’t think any other writeups could follow this amount of self-indulgent pump-priming. So we’re giving you a break gentle readers.
Look for part 2 of our weekly previews later on this afternoon and Part 3 tomorrow morning. For now, just sit back and enjoy the craziness (assuming you’re on one of the eighteen teams that aren’t Math or Elves).<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

GAME OF THE WEEKMathematics at Happy Little Elves 3:00 pm, Tompkins Square East Editor’s Note: Did you really think Rich and Eli wouldn’t have something to say about this game? Game Preview 1: The Elves Perspectiveby Rich Glanzer So as everyone in the BTSH Universe knows my birthday is\u00a0May 23, and every year I celebrate […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":529,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[33],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7431","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-weekly-previews"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7431"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/529"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7431"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7431\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7445,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7431\/revisions\/7445"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7431"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7431"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7431"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}