{"id":8445,"date":"2014-03-26T11:43:11","date_gmt":"2014-03-26T15:43:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/?p=8445"},"modified":"2014-03-26T16:08:52","modified_gmt":"2014-03-26T20:08:52","slug":"2014-predictions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/2014-predictions\/","title":{"rendered":"2014 Predictions!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Can Math Repeat As Glanzer Division Champions?<\/h4>\n
\"The<\/a>

The Norris family continues to grow.<\/p><\/div>Opening Day is rapidly approaching, so we decided to generate some page views by putting up our predictions for the 2014 season.\u00a0 These are guaranteed to make you feel good or bad about your team, depending on your own expectations and how they line up with the views of Rich, Derek, and myself.\u00a0 And if you want to offer your own predictions, have at it in the comments!\u00a0 Without further ado…<\/p>\n

Brown Division<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n<\/colgroup>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
<\/td>\nRich<\/b><\/td>\nDerek<\/b><\/td>\nEli<\/b><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
1<\/b><\/td>\nFresh Kills<\/td>\nFresh Kills<\/td>\nFresh Kills<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
2<\/b><\/td>\nCorlears Hookers<\/td>\nCorlears Hookers<\/td>\nCorlears Hookers<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
3<\/b><\/td>\nLBS, Inc.<\/td>\nDenim Demons<\/td>\nLBS, Inc.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
4<\/b><\/td>\nDenim Demons<\/td>\nLBS, Inc.<\/td>\nDenim Demons<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
5<\/b><\/td>\nWhat The Puck<\/td>\nWhat The Puck<\/td>\nWhat The Puck<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

Rich’s Take:<\/em>\u00a0Fresh Kills, after making a run at perfection, will actually lose 3 games this season. None will be in the playoffs. This division is the tops for a reason, every team will have a winning record. And honestly, after seeing all the talent at the Free Agent scrimmage and the goalie that Corey very subtly got…I’m a little worried about playing them Game 1. They could be good real early.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Derek’s Take:<\/em> Fresh Kills cruises to another division title.\u00a0 The Hookers give them a good run, but poor mid-season attendance results in a few lost games for the Purple during the summer.\u00a0 The Demons play solid (though objectionable) hockey.\u00a0 LBS, Inc. takes a step back this season with no Ken.\u00a0 What The Puck will clearly be in rebuilding mode and probably should not be in this division.<\/p>\n

Eli’s Take:<\/em> Not much to add here that Rich and Derek haven’t already said.\u00a0 Fresh Kills is the most complete team in the league and goes back-to-back with the division titles.\u00a0 What The Puck looks primed for relegation, unless Corey has something up his sleeve.\u00a0

<\/a>

[Said in Jo-Ann voice]Maybe Corey join Elf and put ‘appy Elf up sleeve? Why is Timmay no playing for us this year?<\/p><\/div>
$h0wT!m3 Division<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n<\/colgroup>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
<\/td>\nRich<\/b><\/td>\nDerek<\/b><\/td>\nEli<\/b><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
1<\/b><\/td>\nLa Famiglia<\/td>\nLa Famiglia<\/td>\nLa Famiglia<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
2<\/b><\/td>\nHappy Little Elves<\/td>\nHappy Little Elves<\/td>\nSky Fighters<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
3<\/b><\/td>\nGouging Anklebiters<\/td>\nGouging Anklebiters<\/td>\nGouging Anklebiters<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
4<\/b><\/td>\nSky Fighters<\/td>\nSky Fighters<\/td>\nFilthy Gorgeous<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
5<\/b><\/td>\nFilthy Gorgeous<\/td>\nFilthy Gorgeous<\/td>\nHappy Little Elves<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

Rich’s Take:<\/em> The Tuques are clearly the team to beat here. Us Elves are still trying to find the perfect mix, but Elly picking us last is insulting, and I\u2019d love to make a bet with him that we don\u2019t finish 4th or 5th. Filthy will finish last, because James and Suvin will realize how annoying I can be if they don\u2019t supply refs. Somewhere Talia\u2019s mother Monica is smiling.<\/p>\n

Derek’s Take:<\/em> La Famiglia has a real chance to do some damage this season.\u00a0 Their offseason moves have made them a legitimate championship contender, and the rest of this division should be scared.\u00a0 Losing Trevor was huge for the Happy Little Elves, but I’m never ready to count out captain Richie.\u00a0 The Anklebiters are finally in their correct division and enjoy an average season in it.\u00a0 The Sky Fighters can’t get their Europeans to show up regularly enough to string together a lot of wins.\u00a0 Filthy Gorgeous has a repeat performance of last season and continues its descent down the BTSH standings.<\/p>\n

Eli’s Take: <\/em>Rich and Derek picked the exact same order here, but I’m not going to do that.\u00a0 La Famiglia is the class of the division, but after that, this is a crap-shoot. It’s tough to see Filthy Gorgeous finishing last in a division two years in a row.\u00a0 The Elves have the big question mark in goal, and some motivation for Richie can’t be a bad thing, can it?<\/p>\n

<\/a>

Sad Richie is sad because his goalie gave up like 9 goals this game. It was bad hockey.<\/p><\/div>Glanzer Division<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n<\/colgroup>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
<\/td>\nRich<\/b><\/td>\nDerek<\/b><\/td>\nEli<\/b><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
1<\/b><\/td>\nMathematics<\/td>\nMathematics<\/td>\nMathematics<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
2<\/b><\/td>\nRehabs<\/td>\nGremlins<\/td>\nGremlins<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
3<\/b><\/td>\nGremlins<\/td>\nRehabs<\/td>\nRehabs<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
4<\/b><\/td>\nButchers<\/td>\nPoutine Machine<\/td>\nButchers<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
5<\/b><\/td>\nPoutine Machine<\/td>\nButchers<\/td>\nPoutine Machine<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

Rich’s Take:<\/em> Enjoy this season in the Kazin Conference Math, you will be moving on up. You\u2019re pretty good\u2026for a 3rd division team. \u00a0Jo-Ann will hopefully learn you don\u2019t need a dash in your name in America. And can Rachel and Sven just revert back to the Mighty Squirrels where they belong?<\/p>\n

Derek’s Take:<\/em> Yes, this is my own team I’m picking to win the division.\u00a0 Of course, there’s bias there, but based on what I saw last season, I legitimately think we have the tools to do it.\u00a0 The Gremlins have a sneaky good team, and their goalie, Jamie, should be able to steal a couple of games for them this season.\u00a0 The Rehabs are their usual middle of the road self.\u00a0 Poutine takes a big hit with the loss of Tim Brown in net, and suffers a less-than-stellar season because of it.\u00a0 Rachel Greene does her best to cobble together a competitive squad for the Butchers, but the losses are too numerous for them to compete.<\/p>\n

Eli’s Take:<\/em> Anyone who does not pick his own team to win their division is a jobber (cough–Glanzer!–cough).\u00a0 The Gremlins and Rehabs have a lot of veterans and are used to the ups and downs of the long regular season.\u00a0 The Butchers and Poutine Machine do not have a lot of veterans, and will both need the early part of the season to get comfortable with their new players.<\/p>\n

<\/a>

A bird shitting on you is good luck. A bird shitting on your pizza just sucks. Sad MDF is sad.<\/p><\/div>\n

Greene Division<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n<\/colgroup>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
<\/td>\nRich<\/b><\/td>\nDerek<\/b><\/td>\nEli<\/b><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
1<\/b><\/td>\nGut Rot<\/td>\nGut Rot<\/td>\nDark Rainbows<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
2<\/b><\/td>\nDark Rainbows<\/td>\nDark Rainbows<\/td>\nGut Rot<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
3<\/b><\/td>\nMega Touch<\/td>\nCobra Kai<\/td>\nMega Touch<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
4<\/b><\/td>\nCobra Kai<\/td>\nMega Touch<\/td>\nCobra Kai<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
5<\/b><\/td>\nTompkins Square Riots<\/td>\nTompkins Square Riots<\/td>\nTompkins Square Riots<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

Rich’s Take:<\/em> Gut Rot, along with the Tuques, won the off-season. Unlike baseball, both will reap the rewards. On another note, the Riots goalie Dave has won a championship, and last year shutout the Demons in the semis for the Lbs. In other words, if the Riots can shore up their team defense, Dave will respond in kind.<\/p>\n

Derek’s Take: <\/em>If Gut Rot gets everyone to show up, they may have the best team in the conference and should finally be able to take the division.\u00a0 The Rainbows play solid, as they did last season, but again come up just a little short.\u00a0 Cobra Kai improves a little from last year, but doesn’t correct enough of its problem to get over the hump.\u00a0 Mega Touch remains the “fun team,” despite Eric Devlin’s insistence that they can be dicks.\u00a0 Attendance issues again hold the Riots back from reaching their potential.<\/p>\n

Eli’s Take:<\/em> Remember when the Toronto Blue Jays made a bunch of moves before the 2013 season and were predicted by many to win the American League East?\u00a0 Yeah, how did that work out for them?\u00a0 Gut Rot made some nice additions, but let’s not hand them the division title just yet.\u00a0 The Dark Rainbows have some under-rated players and were sneaky good last year.<\/p>\n

<\/a>

Hey Elly, remember when the Yankees signed CC Sabathia, A.J. Burnett and Mark Teixeira in 2009? How did that work out for them? They won the World Series. (though the Mets were better)
So stop living in the past…the Rainbows haven’t won BTSH in the Modern Era (2008-Present)<\/p><\/div>Stats ‘N Stuff<\/strong><\/p>\n

Male Leading Scorer<\/span>
Rich:<\/em> Adriano Bratta, Mega Touch (Weak division, strong player makes Adriano put a lot of “those silly orange balls” behind the net.
Derek:<\/em> Denis Miciletto, La Famiglia
Eli:<\/em> Me<\/del> Jeff Kamen, Denim Demons<\/p>\n

<\/a>

Adriano will devour this division like he devoured that cake. Trust me, he’s still a savage when he wants to be.<\/p><\/div>Female Leading Scorer<\/span>
Rich:<\/em> Sarah Newnam, Corlears Hookers (I would pick Tiffany but she’s a better passer than Sarah so Sarah will reap the rewards and Tiffany will have to go to the prom with her cousin or something.)

<\/a>

Sarah knocks over Tiffany en route to the first ever female scoring title in BTSH.<\/p><\/div>Derek:<\/em> Cherie Stewart, Mathematics
Eli:<\/em> Tiffany Hagge, Corlears Hookers<\/p>\n

Best Team Goalie<\/span>
Rich:<\/em> Fresh Kills (Barch is good, but Eugene Rha is where its at.)
Derek:<\/em> Fresh Kills
Eli:<\/em> Fresh Kills<\/p>\n

<\/a>

Fresh Kills is boring. Here is a way better picture. (though not to get you sad, but the girl in the yellow is dead. However the green Power Ranger Tommy, is still on the show but has been promoted to white! Congrats Tommy!)<\/p><\/div>\n

2014 BTSH Champions<\/em>\n<\/p>\n

Rich:<\/em> Fresh Kills:<\/strong>\u00a0They won it in 2011, and was the best team in 2012, and 2013 just didn’t get the job done. They will this year. Or Dave will base jump off the Freedom Tower with no parachute.\u00a0
Derk<\/em>:\u00a0Fresh Kills:<\/strong> I tried to think of a different pick for this, just to be unique, but logically, there’s just no one else. If it weren’t for a fluke (triple) OT goal, they’d probably have two titles in a row now. To win in the BTSH playoffs, you need two things: talent and desire. They have both.
Elly<\/em>: Hookers<\/strong>:\u00a0Dealing with some work fires right now.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Elly way too busy with work to explain why the Hookers will repeat as champions.<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Can Math Repeat As Glanzer Division Champions? Opening Day is rapidly approaching, so we decided to generate some page views by putting up our predictions for the 2014 season.\u00a0 These are guaranteed to make you feel good or bad about your team, depending on your own expectations and how they line up with the views […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[201,27,35,215],"class_list":["post-8445","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-league-info","tag-2014-season","tag-fresh-kills","tag-mathematics","tag-predictions"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8445"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8445"}],"version-history":[{"count":17,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8445\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8471,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8445\/revisions\/8471"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8445"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8445"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8445"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}