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<\/a>The Fairy Tale Cup may be imaginary, but the Barnacle Bowl is real.<\/p><\/div>\nKeys for the Happy Little Elves:<\/strong> This man was our last hope for finding Coach.<\/p><\/div>Prediction <\/p>\n Mega Touch at Gut Rot Gremlins at Cobra Kai<\/strong> Fresh Kills at Sky Fighters<\/strong>
Who is this mysterious Boris?\u00a0 He’s got three goals on the season and has been one of the biggest reasons for the Elves’ 2-0 start (Rob Walsh and his four goals have too, but we’re not focusing on him).\u00a0 Is he American? Russian? Maybe a Bulgarian brute?\u00a0 One thing is for sure, though.\u00a0 Whenever Sarah T. , and only Sarah T., tells Boris to do something, he does.\u00a0 She can be seen during games pacing the sidelines, yelling out instructions such as, “Boris, cover point!”, “Boris, forecheck!”, or “Boris, score goal!”
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Keys for the Denim Demons:<\/strong>
Where’s Coach?\u00a0 Has anyone seen Coach?\u00a0 The Demons’ goaltender has been very reliable with his attendance in the past, so his absence is definitely concerning.\u00a0 There are\u00a0unconfirmed and unsubstantiated “sightings” of Coach from the past few weeks, once at an East Village Chipotle in early April, and once at a Western Pennsylvania Eat’n Park over the weekend.\u00a0 We might need to get Leslie Nielsen involved to find Coach.\u00a0 What’s that?\u00a0 He’s dead?!\u00a0 Uh oh!\u00a0 Unfortunately, the mystery of Coach could take all summer to solve.<\/p>\n<\/a>
<\/strong>The Elves have been firing on all cylinders to start the season, and the aforementioned Boris and newcomer John Br\u00fcgger have given their roster a little more depth than in years past.\u00a0 If Coach is still not present and accounted for, things could get rough for the Demons.\u00a0 They might have to use the ultimate unknown factor: a free agent goalie.\u00a0 Or, you know, Coach could magically re-appear.\u00a0 Either way, I think the Elves get the win, 3-2.
Rich’s Pick:<\/em> What do Boris, Walsh and Sarah T. have in common? All probably won’t play this Sunday. Right now we have one girl so I’m not loving our chances. I think I’ll go conservative and just go with Elves 13, Demons 0.
Derek’s Pick:<\/em> If Rich is telling the truth (which he always does), and Boris, Walsh, and Sarah T. are all AWOL, I have to go with the Demons, 4-2.<\/p>\n Other Games:<\/h4>\n
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\nHere’s a stat for you: through two games, Mega Touch’s Alex “Coop” Eben Meyer is outscoring all of Gut Rot.\u00a0 Naturally, the sample isn’t big, but yikes, pick it up, Rotters.\u00a0 You’ve been shutout twice in a row!\u00a0 That’s not to say that Mega’s 0-2 record is making them look like superstars, but at least they have some goals to show for their efforts.\u00a0 The good news here is that one of these winless teams will finally get to the pay window, and I think it will be Gut Rot, 4-2.
Eli’s Pick:<\/em> Gut Rot gets a goal (more than one, actually), and a win, 3-1.
Rich’s Pick: <\/em>I’m going with a 0-0 game\/shootout and the refs forget the new shootout rule. But since we are counting our picks (Elly…that’s your job) I’ll say 3-2 Gutties.<\/p>\n
As Richie noted in last weeks Not 3 Stars, Jamie is 0-6 on the season already.\u00a0 And to make matters worse, he was kicked out of the crease when Romeo returned.\u00a0 Go ahead, watch it<\/a> again.\u00a0 Jamie is pissed at the :07 second mark when he is storming off the court and gives the disdainful look back at Romeo over his shoulder.\u00a0 You do not want to make Jamie angry.\u00a0 Whoever is playing Jamie and the Gremlins this week is going to lose (let’s go with 4-1).\u00a0 Oh hey, Cobra Kai!
Derek’s Pick:<\/em> Sad Jamie finally gets his win, but the Dojo keeps it close in a 3-2 contest.
Rich’s Pick: <\/em>I was told Cobra Kai has added two really good players. That’s good enough for me, 4-2 and Sad Jamie goes to 0-7.<\/em><\/p>\n
It has not been a good start to the season for the Sky Fighters.\u00a0 Two losses already, and the always imposing Fresh Kills are next.\u00a0 Sky Fighters captain Dan Hopper wishes this were like a video game, where he could just hit the reset button, start over, and play a weaker team.\u00a0 Unfortunately, BTSH does not have a reset button, and Fresh Kills rolls, 5-1.<\/p>\n