{"id":9878,"date":"2014-09-16T12:10:02","date_gmt":"2014-09-16T16:10:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/?p=9878"},"modified":"2014-09-16T12:10:02","modified_gmt":"2014-09-16T16:10:02","slug":"three-stars-from-914","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/three-stars-from-914\/","title":{"rendered":"Three Stars from 9\/14"},"content":{"rendered":"

I was faced with a choice. \u00a0Write this post, or write my self-assessment for work – both of which are due today. \u00a0I obviously chose incorrectly.<\/p>\n

Three stars for this week – it was kind of a tough call to make. \u00a0Nobody really got back to me about nominations. \u00a0It’s more like I had to figure out the three stars this week by figuring out first who they weren’t<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

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Rachel Klion\u00a0(pictured circa 2009) from the Rainbows probably wants a star. I can’t give her a star just for that alone. I was tempted to give her a star for her flagrant violation of the rulebook when she threw her stick<\/strong>\u00a0(lol) at an Anklebiter who was on a breakaway, and then nonchalantly returned to the bench as if that was a\u00a0totally legal play. \u00a0Funny stuff, but we don’t want Klioning \u00a0to become a trend around these parts.<\/p><\/div>

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Rich Glanzer (pic related) continues one of the longest running gags in BTSH, which is his inability to score. Somehow, Richie managed to get a pass at the top of the crease, shoot it through the goalie’s legs, and still miss wide of the far post. I’d give you a star for effort, but that would ruin the integrity of our three stars process. This ain’t the YMCA.<\/p><\/div>With that,\u00a0your real three stars, and by extension the reason you should keep coming to the league every week:<\/p>\n

*** – Liam Martens (Cobra Kai)<\/strong><\/p>\n

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Gotta be honest: I don’t know which one of the guys in this picture that I lifted from Facebook<\/del>\u00a0acquired fair-and-square is Liam. However,\u00a0Mr. Martens had both goals in Cobra Kai’s 2-1 victory over Poutine Machine. That’s pretty much textbook star-worthy. He’d be higher, but unfortunately for him…<\/p><\/div>** – Noelle Safar (Hookers)<\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/strong>

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Noelle Safar of the Hookers potted two goals of her own, sealing a victory over division rivals Fresh Kills and helping the Hookers clinch the Brown Division. She also leads all women in goals with 9. What did you do with your weekend?<\/p><\/div>\n

* – Jamie Batuwantudawe (Every fucking team that I play against ever<\/del> Butchers)<\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

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Growing up, one of my favorite games was Wayne Gretzky’s 3D Hockey 98 for the N64. The game had a feature in which the goalie would sometimes morph into a brick wall when making a save. I used to love this game and specifically that part, but now I hate it because it reminds me of every time I have to play against Jamie. The guy is unreal and deserves every bit of the first star this week. Fuck you Jamie. But congratulations. But fuck you still.<\/p><\/div>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I was faced with a choice. \u00a0Write this post, or write my self-assessment for work – both of which are due today. \u00a0I obviously chose incorrectly. Three stars for this week – it was kind of a tough call to make. \u00a0Nobody really got back to me about nominations. \u00a0It’s more like I had to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1138,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9878","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-league-info"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9878"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1138"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9878"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9878\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9879,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9878\/revisions\/9879"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9878"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9878"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9878"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}