{"id":992,"date":"2009-03-27T20:54:24","date_gmt":"2009-03-28T01:54:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/?p=992"},"modified":"2009-03-27T20:54:24","modified_gmt":"2009-03-28T01:54:24","slug":"guest-columnist-adam-legend-killer-rubens","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/guest-columnist-adam-legend-killer-rubens\/","title":{"rendered":"Guest Columnist: Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens"},"content":{"rendered":"

The following views do not necessarily represent those of the editors or of BTSH.\u00a0 They do, however, represent those of Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

It occurred to me that many of the story lines in club soccer are similar to\u00a0those\u00a0happening in BTSH.\u00a0 With that, I\u2019ll now try to give each team in our league its club soccer counterpart:<\/p>\n

Mathematics:<\/strong> Valencia<\/em> \u2013 A solid core surrounds one incredible talent.\u00a0 When playing against Valencia, you know that David Villa is going to get the ball, and he\u2019s probably going to do some amazing things whether you like it or not.\u00a0 The same can be said for Mathematics, with Andy Pratt playing the hero role.
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\nHappy Little Elves:<\/strong> Wigan Athletic<\/em> \u2013 After arriving in the league for the first time seemingly out of\u00a0nowhere, both these upstarts are carving their place in the league and look to improve on their performance from\u00a0last year.\u00a0 It\u2019s unlikely that either will make a title run, but achieving a .500 record would give a lot of hope for the future.
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\nCobra Kai:<\/strong> West Ham United<\/em> \u2013 Despite toiling away in the lower half of the table much of the time, they were able to sign an incredible goal scoring talent in Adriano Bratta, similar to how West Ham got Carlos Tevez…only to lose him at year\u2019s end.
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\nWhat The Puck:<\/strong> Manchester United<\/em> \u2013 Despite having an all-star lineup that\u2019s capable of dismantling any team out there, they saw fit to poach some of the top free agents in the league.\u00a0 This, of course, makes them an even better team, but also raises the ire of all whom they play against.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Sky Fighters:<\/strong> Juventus<\/em> \u2013 At one time, they were at the top of their respective leagues, and all was good.\u00a0 Then scandal broke out and caused the former to leave the league and the latter to be relegated. But both are now back, looking strong, and should be considered a threat to anybody they play.
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\nFilthy Gorgeous:<\/strong> Everton<\/em> \u2013 Kind of a new player in the upper echelons of club soccer, but their spot amongst the big boys is well deserved.\u00a0 Both teams feature a balanced attack, stout defending with an amazing keeper in back, and blue shirts.
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\nDenim Demons:<\/strong> Liverpool<\/em> \u2013 Each team boasts having a player who is in the debate for the most talented player around, but neither has put together the pieces for a championship season.\u00a0 Is it too much tinkering from the coach (Ed<\/em>: Yes!), lack of a killer instinct, or just plain bad luck along with the color red that holds them back?
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\nMega Touch:<\/strong> Seattle Sounders FC<\/em> \u2013 While it may look like these guys are new kids on the block, they\u2019ve been around for a long time now.\u00a0 While the deck may be stacked against them, getting off on the right foot may be all that\u2019s needed to propel them to the top.
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\nCorlears Hookers:<\/strong> Chelsea<\/em> \u2013 The team you love to hate.\u00a0 Clearly, there\u2019s a lot of skill, and their results show this, but something about the way the teams were composed rubs people the wrong way.\u00a0 Peter Putka may not be a Russian oil billionaire, but he was able to assemble a team of some of the best players regardless.
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\nLBS, Inc.:<\/strong> Real Madrid<\/em> \u2013 If it\u2019s possible for a team that has won it all before to fly under the radar, these guys succeed.\u00a0 It\u2019s no surprise that you\u2019ll see some of the prettiest passing and teamwork while wearing white here, as the core has been together awhile now and are quite comfortable with each other.
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\nDark Rainbows:<\/strong> Columbus Crew<\/em> \u2013 Sometimes a championship run can be made on the back of one player who raises the level of his team so high, that no one can touch them. Guillermo Barros Schelotto must have watched tapes of Trevor Tyrrell\u2019s incredible playoff run a few years ago as inspiration.
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\nMexican Standoff:<\/strong> Pachuca<\/em> \u2013 I realize that while there are probably only a handful of people who are familiar enough with European & American soccer and BTSH to understand my references, there are probably less who\u00a0 follow Mexican soccer.\u00a0 So I\u2019ll just say that Pachuca is probably the most entertaining Mexican team to watch in their league, and Standoff is the most entertaining Mexican team in our league.
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\nFresh Kills:<\/strong> Blackburn Rovers<\/em> \u2013 The only teams to have won the English Premiership are Arsenal, Man U, Chelsea, and Blackburn.\u00a0 The first three are powerhouses, finishing at the top of the table year in and year out, while the fourth had one incredible season that people look back on a few years after and wonder how it happened.\u00a0 Welcome to your destiny, Fresh Kills.
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\nMighty Squirrels:<\/strong> Montreal Impact<\/em> \u2013 During the first stages of the year, these two teams were turning everybody\u2019s heads with result after result.\u00a0 Then all of a sudden things went to hell.\u00a0 The Impact conceded four second half goals in their Champions League quarterfinal match to lose 5-4, and the Squirrels lost their final seven games after going undefeated in their first ten.
\n\u00a0
\nUnicorns:<\/strong> Los Angeles Galaxy<\/em> \u2013 One player on each team is far and away the most visible in their respective leagues.\u00a0 But strangely enough, neither are currently with their teams, and it remains unclear when they\u2019ll be back, leaving everybody wondering \u201cI wonder what they\u2019ll be like without the megastar.\u201d
\n\u00a0
\nGouging Anklebiters:<\/strong> Sporting Portugal<\/em> \u2013 Both teams were happy to get into the playoffs last year and were a year removed from nearly shocking the world with an incredible upset.\u00a0 But the joke was on them as an epic collapse followed, which only led to heavy drinking and longing for the next year to start.
\n\u00a0
\nRehabs:<\/strong> New York Red Bulls<\/em> \u2013 If at first you don\u2019t succeed, get a bunch of new players.\u00a0 After not succeeding to the level that they had wanted in the past year, both the Red Bulls and Rehabs brought a bunch of new players in that will hopefully be the ticket to a dream run to the championship.
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\nTuques:<\/strong> Eintracht Frankfurt<\/em> \u2013 While both teams have been around for awhile, they are shrouded in mystery.\u00a0 Each has a few visible players that fans of the league can name, but for the most part, teams that want a leg up on these guys had better employ a few scouts.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The following views do not necessarily represent those of the editors or of BTSH.\u00a0 They do, however, represent those of Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens. It occurred to me that many of the story lines in club soccer are similar to\u00a0those\u00a0happening in BTSH.\u00a0 With that, I\u2019ll now try to give each team in our league its […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[123,86,66],"class_list":["post-992","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general-interest","tag-2009-season","tag-guest-column","tag-legend-killer"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/992"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=992"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/992\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":997,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/992\/revisions\/997"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=992"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=992"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=992"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}