btsh.org

Last week someone mentioned that every EK65 highlight is a good highlight, and in honour of said player not getting in their game on Sunday, we’re literally littering the entire box scores with them. Unfortunately, there weren’t as many completed games as we’d like (or maybe it makes pasting in EK65 highlights easier with less official games/goals for Week 13…) so we’ll have some makeup games in the weeks to come!

 

(Okay these Karlsson highlights were actually more difficult to find than expected…thanks William for joining the VGK and making this tougher than a game of battleship where your friend moves the ships around after every guess…eggplant)

 

Fresh Kills 3 @ Pounds 2 (F/OT)

Fk’n eh – Jeff S (2), Ariel x2 (8)

Goalie Win – Patty B (6-2-1, GAA of Two Palffy’s)

Los Blancos – Caitlin “Tyler” Kennedy via AF, Jake C (3)

Goalie OT Loss – Zisser (7-2-2, GAA of One HOOOSSSSAAAA)

Game Notes Meaningless Hockey Jargon included to sound s-m-r-t: We all know Ariel would have won the game in a shootout anyways. Hope that extra ROW doesn’t come back to bite someone in the nether regions come playoff ranking time (what do you mean we don’t use ROW?)

Gabe Watch: Gabe was there. Frank and Tom were not.

 

MATH 2 @ SKY 3 (Final)

Math – Sam Norris (3), Adam L (3)

Goalie Loss – Liang (2-7, GAA of Four Henrik’s)

SKY – Caroline W (1), Greg I (3), James “Adam” McQ (7)

Goalie Win – Eitan via LemmeGoalie4u

Game Notes – New and Old from the Vandoos chip in and shut Math out from a late comeback.

 

GANK 1 @ FUZZ 2 (17:15 2^nd Half)

‘Biters – B Probert (15)

Goalie of Record – Tim Bwn

Fuzz – Miles H x2 (13)

Goalie of Record – Coach

 

Gut Rot 1 @ DaPucks 6 (Final)

Gut Rot – Schmorggg (1)

Goalie Loss – Eddddd (3-6, GAA of Four Alfie’s)

CaNucks – Justin Southeast Division 4 NameSake Himself x2 (3), Brennan L (1), Dave MacC (1), Buffalo Zach (6), Birthday Girl Em! (2)

Goalie Win – Scott H (4-7, GAA of Three Kovalev’s)

Game Notes: In true homage to EK65 box score day, Hogg[ran]Wild with his 65:55 TOI, 2 apples, (note my Oxford comma) and 4 possums (those are what kids are calling “pluses” these days, Walker, get with the times). I totally just made that last part up, and this entire passage for the sake of the 5 or 6 Devils players in BTSH. But the assists were real, and Chadwick can update my “unofficial” and sarcastically incorrect tally to 4; leading the league as everyone else is officially at zero (you can thank Sam Norris for that).

Quick Shifts: Ed’s GAA continues to suffer when Becca isn’t incenticized to outperform AkhilNation, in their Gut Rot Bitzez step sibling like rivalry. Luckily, she has signed up for, and plans to participate in, no, not the Olympics, but team defense if the court is dry during future weeks. Olympics is this Sunday and that would make that joke like a year old (like the age of a certain CommissionHerrs’ whatsapp display pic) and outdated.

 

 

Riots 0 @ Mega 3 (Final)

Goalie Loss – Ben F (0-1, GAA of a Chara)

Mega – Shelly (3), Alok x2 (5)

Goalie Shutout Win – Mike T (3-7-1, 1^st Shutout, GAA of Three Asham’s)

Game Notes: GdR did not get a loss on his goalie record, but his team sure did, as Alok had an emphatic goal late in the contest to seal the win.

 

Butchers 0 @ Hookers 1 (F/SO)

Goalie Shutout Shootout Loss (yes, that’s a thing) – Tim Brk (3-5-1, 2^nd Shutout, GAA of Two Mogliny’s)

Goalie Shutout Win – Dustin “TOKARSKI” (4-3-2, 1^st Shutout, GAA of a Duncan Keith)

Shootout Winner – Clark H

Game Notes: Note (probably redundant to “note” something under “game notes”, I know) that I found a Newnam like shootout finish just on FB’s gifs (Datsyukian backhand) and then Clark’s winner was no different than any Sedin snip over the pad and under the blocker. Still looking for a righty forsberg at kaner speed though. (Luckily you can find a pretty nice one posted by Walker in the BTSH fb group!)

Quick Shifts: Butchers are having a similar season as Demons in that they’ve been involved in a number of competitive, low scoring contests, and they’ve now turned the corner of sorts, pre-dating this game with a 3 game win streak, and now have points in their last 4 contests– since a humbling 6-love drubbing from the Gremmies (did you know that Walker wanted to play in the rain on Sunday? Never would have guessed). Two of those wins were against teams who were voted as best in the league in our power rankings (with the Butchers holding these opponents to 1 goal combined over those two games). The gap in Southeast 1 Division teams is clearly closer than it was last year. What was the other Southeast 1 Division team last year again?

Trending: Hookers literally and figuratively show up this time!

 

Poutine 1 @ Rainbows 1 (18~ 2^nd Half)

Poutine – Brian “They call me BSA even though I’m not a Business Student Association” Sulli (3)

Goalie of Record – AJ F

Rainbows – Bryan L (5)

Goalie of Record – Grizzwald

Game Notes: Charlotte is a terrible person (and scored on her own net)

 

Filthier 2 @ Rehabs 0 (25:00 2^nd Half)

Filthier – OP James (9), Ryan McL (1)

Goalie of Record – I guess it was Tim

Rehabs – Nada (Emily taught me some spanish on her birthday)

Goalie of Record – That guy with the Ho “Sang” jersey, probably

 

Karma @ Demons (PPD – Rain)

Rubens wanted to play. He also wants a certain joke to die after 2.5 weeks….wait for it…

 

Gremlins at Cobra Kai (PPD – Monsoon fears)

Cobra Kai was lucky that the rain fears were real fears as they for some reason called up some guy with the worst GAA in Mofo (“DIVISION ONE ONLY”) in place of Campbell. That game note was just for Hector. And Hicks. Unfortunately it was related to 5,000 social media posts for them ago, combined (which equates to roughly 37 days) and they probably forget that reference. (I know, another Mofo reference, please don’t relieve me of my duties, we’re almost at the end of the season, which is 3~ months away)

 

Week 13 in Tweets

In honour of the rain and enjoying the outdoors we stayed social media free this week. See you Sunday!

No rain and no heat fears! We’re back for Week 12 Week 11 (I’m going off what we have on the website’s schedule page, so bear with me on the chronology of the weeks)! Lots of competitive action as we have way (way, way) too many LOL shootout references and some other close contests.

After getting a paper cut opening the three stars post due to all the edge on it, we’ve removed the salt from these this week to not offend anyone (other than myself, as that’s always required). On to the box scores!

 

Fresh Kills 2 @ Filthier 3 (OT/LOL Shootouts)

Fresh Kills – Frank (1), Tom (4)

Goalie Shootout LOLoss – Patty B (4-2-1, GAA of 2.57ish)

Filthier – OP James (8), Sunny (10)

Goalie Win – Tim K (8-3, GAA of 1.91ish)

Shootout Winner – OP James

Game Notes: OP James put the ball over the Barch pile, rather than running through it this time to earn the extra point in the shootout, just like last season.

Quick Shifts: Video shootout footage was captured but not required to determine that the above shootout winner was scored in a legal fashion. (thank you tho, Jerome/JVR/Hornswoggle/Hornystyle for taking video, which you can find on our BTSH facebook page in very high quality! unlike another SO..)

 

Demons 0 @ Gremlins 3

Goalie Loss – Zach “Demons Regular Goalie” L (1-7-1)

Gremlins – Rod “I’m sponsored by” Sherwood (1), Courtney via FA, Yetter via FA

Goalie Shutout Win –   Jamie B (8-2-1, GAA of 1.82, 3 Shutouts)

Game Notes: After starting 2-2-1 through five weeks, Jamie B and the Gremlins have won 6 straight and not even taking a LOL in the shootouts can stop them from climbing back into the Katz Divisional race. Maybe they upgraded their lime toss to a game of pickle ball across the street at TSP (yes, it’s a thing and it’s pretty cool) to add that needed oomph in their game.

Quick Shifts: Your team can pick up Yetter as an FA wherever crop tops are sold.

 

Cobra Kai 2 @ Poutine 0

CK – Will (6), Liam (7)

Goalie Shutout Win – Campbell (8-0-2, GAA of 1.10, 3 shutouts)

Goalie Loss – RJ “you better not add that EN goal to my GAA (we did)” F (3-2, GAA of 1.20)

Game Notes: A report coming from our CK beat writer noted that CK finally got some referees they like* but as we all know, the refereeing appears to be better when you don’t take a “L”oL in the shootouts.

Quick Long Shifts Run on Sentence: This game played fast with a lot of back and forth transition catered by the help of strong team defense as limited scoring chances were traded between each side but-for a couple of breakaways for each team leading to the low scoring Katz division title fight, which we certainly don’t mind as it’s certainly easier to not mess up the Poutine goal scorers when they get blanked.

*can deal with once on a weekly basis without emailing Sam Norris

 

Fuzz 4 @ POUNDS 3 (OT/LOL Shootouts)

Fuzz! – Miles (11), Jeff x2 (10)

Goalie Win – Coach (8-1, GAA of 2.56)

Shootout Winner – Alexa (with help from Mike Teyt to ice it)

Pounds – Jason (2), aFrey (1), Avery (3)

Goalie Shootout Loss – Fizzler (7-2-1, GAA of 1.70)

Game Notes:  All 3 Fuzz! shooters scored in the shootout (Gil got the first one to match Avery’s first round marker). For more on the game, check out our Third Star of Week 12*.

*11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

 

Dark Rainbows 3 @ DaPucks 6

Rainbows – Yetter via FA x2, Ryan M (1)

Goalie Loss – Eitan via #RosterHim

Pucks – Ball Hogg (3), John C “Number 69” (2), Zach “Mike Gartner” G x3 (5), Mike Dude (1)

Goalie Win – Scott H (3-6)

Game Notes: After back to back multi goal games for DaPucks, this is becoming Buffalo Zach’s team now. Step aside Ball Hogg, you’re the “other” Zac now (or “stop passing and shoot more” – Eric, probably).

Quick Shifts: I always thought blowing 2-0 leads was more of a CaNucks type of thing, but this game marked the second time this season WTP came back from an early 2-nothing deficit against a divisional opponent. Justin might ask the ladies to (not) sleep on us, but maybe the Pucks should remember to not sleep on their Michaliga-name-sake divisional race foes.

 

LAX Hookers 2 @ Math 3 (OT/LOL Shootouts)

Hookers – CJ “not the running back” Anderson (5), Noelle (3)

Goalie Shootout Loss – Dustin “Tokarski” O (2-3-2, GAA of 2.29)

Math – Liz H (1), Bradley S (1)

Goalie Win – David L (2-5)

Shootout Winner – Justin “I’m a Caps fan too” P

Game Notes: Hookers finally found a game they thought was winnable and literally showed up. Figuratively, they did not.

Quick Shifts: Dustin continues to show that he’s not a shadow of his former Hookers championship self (except in the case of pad sizing), sporting a competitive GAA for a team that has lost more than it has won.

Trending: Math keep doing the most Math thing ever of standing pat, right in the middle of Division 2. Don’t expect them to be in a position to move up or down a division at the end of this year.

 

Riots 0 @ Gut Rot 4

Goalie Loss – Dave GdR (2-7-1)

Gut Rot – Scott_K (7), Ramon x2 (6), Akhil Nation (5)

Goalie Shutout Win – Ed P (3-4, GAA of nicer but still needs more mean reversion before we post it)

Quick Shifts: Since going 0-4 to start the season, Ed has had back to back shutouts, and only let in 1 goal in his last 3 starts (all of which are wins). Will his play start a Gut Rot run for the Division 4 crown? Unlikely, they don’t have any freebie out of division games like Fuzz Elves this year.

 

Mega Touch 3 @ Instant Karma 4

Mega – Joe L (3), Jeff B x2 (7)

Goalie Shootout LOLoss – Mike T (2-6-1)

Karma – Cory V (4), Paul O via FA, Briana V (4)

Goalie Win – Steve F (3-5)

Shootout Winner – Cory V!

Game Notes: Paul Olsen is his name and subbing is his game – Chadwick

Quick Shifts: After 5 weeks of ball hockey with only 2 goals to their name, Karma strike thrice and once more in the shootout to finally achieve double digits in points.

 

Sky Fighters 2 @ Anklebiters 3

SKY – Sean N (3), Katie S (3)

Goalie Loss – OG James (2-7-1)

GANK – Probert (14), Sarah M (3), Joe P (5)

Goalie Win – Tim Bwn (2-1, GAA of 2.00)

Game Notes: Tim returned to action for the first time since Week 4 and provided the GANKshow just what they needed, edging SKY in another close loss for them on what has been a long 11 * weeks.

Quick Shifts: SKY find themselves in a similar spot as they did this time last year. Does their “new look” crew make the same run late in the season and make some noise heading into the playoffs? Tune in to next week’s episode of 23 and Mia to find out.

 

Rehabs 0 @ Butchers 2

Goalie Loss – Will Ho “Sang” Sung via Mid-season retirement replacement waiver wire

Butchers – Super Dave (2), John N (1)

Goalie Shutout Win – Tim Brk (3-5, 1st Shutout)

Game Notes in one Run on Sentence: Unfortunately Hicks spent too much time thinking up chirps regarding A6 series TRUE pavel barber tutorial videos for lefties and forgot to watch them himself, not being able to pot a difference maker against Super Dave and his surely now flying Butchers squad, who have now won 4 of their last 5 dry (non rain-feared) contests.

 

Week 11 in Very Real Tweets 

Apparently people feel the need to call these fake and don’t want to #DoubleClick??? How absurd!

 

 

On Sunday we kicked off 9 weeks of continuous Sunday hawkey, not with some underwhelming draft day trades, but with some great (albeit a little humid) weather at Tompkins Square Park. Zach of the Norris clan had an excellent game notes quip for one of the games, but after some loser shots amongst the teams who hung out around Doc’s post the 2 barn burner BTSH night cap affairs, (those rep’d being the Mathletes, Gut Rot Bitzez, What the CaNucks, REEhabs and POUNDS), I forgot what was mentioned. Hopefully we can make up for that…on to the box scores.

(Yes Walker you may** have a positive plus-minus now – on behalf of our WTP 1994 styled CaNucks themed blunder, you’re welcome – but “an excellent game notes quip” is singular because they are called “game notes” but there is only 1 per game and it was specifically only 1 excellent comment/quip – but then again my posts get corrections for Poutine stats, not my run on terrible prose!)

(** but you don’t because it’s not officially tracked)

 

Mega Touch 4 @ Gut Rot 1

Mega – Jeff B x2 (5), Joe L (2), Eric D (1)

Goalie Win – Jeff H (2-0, GAA of Michaliga Southeast Division best of a Rouge)

Gut Rot – Scott K (6)

Goalie Loss – Charlie O’D via Free Agents

Game Notes: The Jeff’s of Mega Touch pace the pointy fingered shirts to an easy divisional matchup W against Gut Rot.

 

 

Cobra Kai 5 @ Demons 2

Cobra Kai – Pete (2), Will x2 (5), Paul “my hand is only broken on Tuesdays” Brown (5), Liam (6)

Goalie Win – Campbell (7-0-2, GAA of 1.22)

Demons – Zach T (3), Zach F (4)

Goalie Loss – Zach L (1-6-1)

Game Notes: Rubens determined that the game was over by half time and CK obliged, getting an early start on their vodka spiked watermelon on the sidelines. Just kidding, this one went the distance with Liam scoring an empty netter from behind his own goal line late to seal it. That was unassisted of course, because we don’t track that, and because a goalie ball is the re-start after a play that has been called by virtue of a whistle.

Quick Shifts: AIUI, possession is measured – via advanced stats – through shots for and against in the form of proxies such as corsi and fenwick. As (ball) hockey is a game of randomness, this may not be 100% precise, but it is generally noted that teams which carry higher corsi/fenwick have higher possession or, higher quality possession which affords them a higher share of “game events” (that being shots on goal) which is correlated to higher goal totals (and higher winning percentages). And by that logic, if you are a (higher) possession player, you score more goals, not less/zero. Especially if you are a high event/high shooting percentage hockey god like Laine.

Trending: Will the Demons make good on their Denim alter ego heading into Canada Day next Sunday? Unlikely, there are clouds in the forecast.

 

 

Instant Karma 1 @ Poutine 4

IK – Derek ZED (4)

Goalie Loss – Steve F (2-5, GAA of we don’t talk about it after Week 5/6)

Poutine – Mike P (2), Hornswoggle JVR (2), Nicky (1), Nicolette (1)

Goalie Win – AJ F (3-0, GAA of 1.25ish when rounding the no decision from Week 3)

Game Notes: Derek ZED’s shirt was soaked with sweat from carrying his team on his back again, albeit it in another losing effort. Karma still look to eclipse their expected pythagorean points from season previews.

Trending: Karma has only scored two goals since Week 5. (I know what you’re going to ask, and yes, that’s less than the Dank Rainbows)

Quick Shifts: If Jerome refers to me as Hoggswoggle can I refer to him as Hornystyle? Pause.

 

 

Math 3 @ Filthier 7

Math – Amy (4), Zach (2), Ellyyy (3)

Goalie Loss – David L (1-6)

Filthier – Shafiq (3), JJ (3), Jaime D x2 (5), James (7), Sunny x2 (9)

Goalie Win – Tim “my workload is worse than Cam Talbot’s back when the Oilers were good for one year” K (7-3, GAA of 1.90)

Game Notes: Filthier reminded our power rankings folks that they are not so far away from being a serious contender, with a dominating performance, albeit against the consensus “could win or lose against any BTSH team” team in Math.

 

 

New Look Sky Fighters 2 @ Old Look Sky Fighters 3

New Look – Sean N (2), Greg I (2)

Goalie Loss – James S (2-6-1)

Old Look – Miles H (10), Jeff (8), Sig (3 knockdowns – allegedly)

Goalie Win – Coach (7-1, GAA of 2.50, stuff of living Legends, or should I say, active hall of fame inductees)

Game Notes: I’m going to post on the BTSH facebook page to ask Infanti if we can wear white (and red) for Canada Day next Sunday. I don’t have his number.

 

Riots 6 @ Rainbows 1

Riots – Margot x2 (3), Alex L x2 (3), Kevin Z (2), Dave F (2)

Goalie Win – Dave GdR (2-6-1)

Rainbows – Eric T (1)

Goalie Loss – Greenwald (1-7)

Game Notes: Apparently Jess doesn’t intentionally miss handshakes after shut out losses, but Greenwald might still see it my way on that. However, she does intentionally hand out post-game beers if you are refereeing. Definitely didn’t miss any calls in the FK-Habs game because of that.

Quick Shifts: Margot made sure to get the winner by scoring not only the ice breaker, but the second goal in this contest. Only leaving Dave to think about what could have been this past weekend.

 

 

GANK 3 @ LA B-LING B-LINGS 6

GANK – Jared “Benoit Pouliot” (8), Chris B (3), Jason B (2)

Goalie Loss – Craig “Mad Goalie” LaC (4-3)

Hookers – Justin x2 (3), Tiff (3), TJ x2 (3), Garbage Time Goal Cro (5)

Goalie Win – Dustin “TOKARSKI” (2-3-1, GAA of 2.33)

Game Notes: If Tiff and Newnam hadn’t kicked Bill off the team, this would have been a great box score for their new uni’s…Too bad they couldn’t come with some matching kicks as well!

Quick Shifts: As a Left-Shooting Hawkeytarian, What about when GANK spanked Hookers earlier in the season? This win means nothing either I guess.

 

 

Gremlins 4 @ DaPucks 3

Gremlins – Alex Salt Bro x3 (4), Ryan M (1)

Goalie Win – Jamie B (7-2-1)

WTP – Hanif (1), Zach “Mike Gartner” x2 (3)

Goalie Loss – Scott H (2-6)

Game Notes: Pucks live up to their playoff run of 2017 and find a way to lose a 3-2 lead midway through the final frame to a higher division foe with Rockoff riding off to Australia with his first career BTSH hat-trick.

Quick Shifts: I still don’t have a photo of my team in our newest alternate threads to share…wth!?

 

 

Fresh Kills 4 @ Rehabs 2

Fresh Kills – Ariel “didn’t even need to use my move” (6), Tom “he literally did come out of retirement just to beat the Rehabs again” Rush x3 (3)

Goalie Win – Barch Pile (4-2, GAA of 2.67)

Rehabs – Monique R (2), Alex WM (5)

Goalie Loss – Eric “don’t you dare add that EN-goal to my GAA” Ramirez (4-2, GAA of 1.83 but we all know it should be 1.67)

Game Notes: Rehabs dominated stretches (or all but the first 17 seconds when Ariel scored and the last 2:30 when Tom scored 3) of this game but could not put away FK and it cost them dearly.

Gabe Watch: No Gabe. Was away for that St Jean Baptiste Day (aka Separatist Day) thing, but as a Quebecor, he doesn’t celebrate Canada Day, so he’s likely back next Sunday.

Trending: Ryann making notes on the game sheets to explain to me how a goal was scored, albeit while I’m the other ref in that game….prove me wrong but here’s how this game went;

Ariel – opens scoring 17 seconds in after losing the faceoff, stealing on the half wall, and walking around Senna to Sedin shootout style snipe on the off wing at the high hash marks low block above the pad. FK 1-0

Monique – Hicks manages to find himself on a 2-on-1 and Eugene leaves her wide open on the door step and oh so close to stepping in the crease. Guess my Pavel Barber video paid off, but I don’t remember it discussing how to make passes with the True 6 series stick. 1-1

Alex WM – Alex clangs one off the post and while the ball sits between Barch’s legs, he turns and kicks the loose ball into the net. Good goal. Rehabs lead 2-1

A calamity of missed opportunities and apparent stick checks, as Rehabs dominate this portion of the game.

Tom – Steals off an inbound pass to the last defender in the Rehabs zone. Hicks maybe is aware it’s R3T!R3D T!M3 taking his last shift, or maybe I was. Tom waltzes around the defender still looking for their jock strap and coolly walks around Ramirez to tie the game. 2-2 with 2:23 remaining in the game.

Tom – Off a turnover near half Tom has the ball once again out against the Rehabs’ third line and takes a shot that hits Ramirez high in the shoulder, but has enough pace on it to end up going into the net. FK 3-2

Tom – Fires a shot on net from his own zone in the dying seconds to grab the natural hat-trick and a 4-2 FK win.

 

 

POUNDS 1 @ Butchers 2

POUNDS – ScottyK (12)

Goalie Loss – Fizzler (7-2, GAA of 1.56)

Butchers – Mike (3), Brady (4)

Goalie Win – Kevin “All Star Game 2018 Snubby” Longwell via Ligue 1 Free Transfer Market

Game Notes: The BTSH Power Rankings (and goalie sub) curse lives on as POUNDS find a way to not win this one.

Quick Shifts: In the most Kevin Longwell thing ever, he tells me he is not hung over (for the first time all week), but then proceeds to tell me he is playing for a different team than which he actually was supposed to be there playing for (FK instead of Butchers). Good thing you showed up at the right time man!

 

Week 10 in Tweets

Keeping it light, like my hockey attendance over the past couple weeks. #DoubleClick