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The 8 things EVERYONE is talking in BTSH is talking about after week 1:

1.      Since Ole Rusty, who everyone is saying was the most successful, best looking, and Loved Commissioner in league history has stepped down, Shootings in Tompkins square park have gone up 200% and Earthquakes are up 100%. Some are asking if Abysmal Amanda and Corrupt Courtney can take care of the people?

2.      Did Probert trick his “friends” into joining the Biters just to leave them high and dry every Sunday? What the over under on games made for Mr. Bachelor party?  It’s got to be low.

3.      There was lots of talk about if The Revolution is the worst team name in league history? Wait… it’s not The Revolution? They are calling themselves the “The Renaissance?!?!? Okay debate over yes, it is the worst possible team name ever. The only real question is does this reflect on Abysmal Amanda and Corrupt Courtney’s leadership? Probably is the feeling I get… However, Tarnow should be shamed and blamed as well…

4.      Did Abysmal Amanda and Corrupt Courtney screw up by having the premier goalie matchup of the season in game 1? Sonjia vs. Campbell was great. It’s a shame leadership didn’t have the forethought to feature and promote this match up…

5.      Did Gabe wear too much Green on Sunday?  What did he think it was St. Patrick’s day? People were calling him the French leprechaun. Honestly, the Fashion choices took away from a good start to MEGA’s season. You have to wonder if Abysmal Amanda and Corrupt Courtney dressed the guy SMH…

6.      Walker would never tell you this, but he was plus two with zero minuses.

7.      Jack from Jack Global looked very foolish on Sunday when seemed to have little understanding of the flavor offerings of Kettle Brand Chips. Maybe not a big deal but certainly not a good look for a guy who will tell you what to order at every bodega in the city

8.      Abysmal Amanda and Corrupt Courtney were Abysmal and Corrupt. 

Bonus content alert!! Ahead of the semi-finals and finals previews, here’s a little something to wet your whistle (lil’ ref pun for ya).

Please note this is a very unserious award ceremony that almost didn’t happen but thanks to Amanda, Russ, and the rest of the retired BTSH media: Cat, Mia, Jerome, Walker, Rich, Russo, Jess – we brought it back. We try to ensure representation across all teams despite most awards being captain-nominated. Anybody complaining like a whiny little baby about lack of nominees or “this person played 4 games last year and isn’t a rookie” will just be laughed at. Both publicly and privately.

Rookie of the Year – Women

Cara, Mega Touch

Eva, Filthier

Maddy, Butchers

Ellie, Sky Fighters 

Rookie of the Year – Men

Cole, Gremlins

Jacob B, Agents

Ryan, Poutine

Sam, Fuzz

Best Captain

Julie, Mega Touch

Leif, Agents

Probie, Biters

Sarah & Hicks, Vertz

Craig La Combe Award for Outstanding Feats in Goaltending

Corey, Fresh Kills

Chris, Demons

Jamie, Gremlins

Mike S, Rainbows

Most Underrated – Women

Kate, Butchers

Jessie, Fuzz

Sarah Moore, Biters

Shannon, Vertz

Most Underrated – Men

John C, WTP

Jon M, Bad Seeds

Rhys, Sky Fighters

Vanck, Riots

Best Defense – Women

Charlotte, Cobra Kai

Hillary, Lbs

Nicki, Filthier

Sarah H, WTP

Best Defense – Men

Joel, Rainbows

Olivier, Cobra Kai

Sean, Filthier

Simon, Vertz

Glanzer (I’m really hoping Jess doesn’t notice I slipped myself in here) **Editor’s Note: lol

Best Duo

Lee and the Parks Department

Pete and Tommy, Bad Seeds

Mike and Tom, Cobra Kai

Courtney and Amanda, Mega Touch/Fuzz

Tracy L Miller Award for Niceness

Jacob G, Hookers

Jared, Biters

Robyn, Demons

Sophie, Rainbows

Least Improved

Hughes, Fuzz

Sam, Lbs

Tash, Mega Touch

Tom G, Cobra Kai

Sarah L, Karma

Jack D Mcginty Sluttiest Award 

Annie, Fuzz

Cam, Sky Fighters

Hogg, Fresh Kills 

KG, Sky Fighters 

Ref of the Year 

Allison, Gremlins

Casca, WTP

Courtney, Mega Touch

Isaac, Karma 

And LASTLY we have a couple of awards (shout out to Russ for the new categories) where the winners will be announced at the court…so make sure you swing by!

Time Hogg Award – In recognition of player(s) who make an effort socially or volunteer wise in the league. 

Most Corrupt Corporation 

Corporate CEO of the year

Most likely to rizz* your mom

*rizz= charisma in gen z lingo (e.g. flirt with)

And finally, a Mystery Award 

Before we get into it, as someone who watched almost all the games last week this needs to be said: please don’t be an asshole. Nobody is a professional ref and you look like a whiny little baby at best and a huge douchelord at worst when you yell at someone who is a player just like you, who is trying their best to do right by both teams. If you want professional grade refs for our low stakes adult beer league playoffs, ask your captains to discuss this for next season and get ready to pony up some funds. Okay cool. *gets off soapbox*. 

1 Vertz v 12 Ankle Biters

Jess: For those of you who missed last week’s games, the Vertz narrowly beat the Gremlins in a shootout. My theory is the matchup was just two totally different styles of play (new school vs old school) with some insane goaltending from Jamie to force the OT and then a shootout. I think the Biters have a more new-school-leaning style of play that will make this matchup look a bit different; the game will be close but I don’t see the Vertz losing. 

Russo: Shoutout Gremlins for a really solid game last Sunday. Was definitely a wake up call that it’s playoff time and it’s win or go home. I told Probie Vertz/Anklebiters starts at 6pm on Sunday, let’s see if he buys it. 

Glnzr: While I think the Vertz are the best team in the league this season, I think this isn’t a terrible matchup for the Biters. Fuzz and FK can overwhelm the Biters, but I don’t think the Vertz will. I think this will be a slow drip type of game where the Vertz don’t dominate, but slowly but steadily have the better play. I have the Vertz winning 3-1, and on to the semis.

2 Mega v 11 Filthier

Jess: Need to credit Filthier where it’s due; they were largely counted out this season and yet without James, Ann, and Tim K in net – and losing a couple new players earlier to cobra kai – they were able to make it to round of 8. That being said, I don’t see Mega losing this game. Credit to Julie – who gets nominated for captain of the year every year and never wins (we should fire the media) – she’s done a great job. Hopefully she can work with Nate on his goal celebrations and make them less cringe. 

Russo: I’m rooting for Nate not to score in this game just because of the pushup celly. Other than that, I think we saw how comfortable Mega are playing in a tie and/or one-goal game versus Karma. But after knocking off a very tough Sky Fighters team in the Round of 16, Filthier look to keep it rolling and make it to the Semis. But I’m predicting another 2-1 win for Mega. 

Glnzr: Filthier is a good team. They battle battle battle and have some hidden players that the league is starting to find out about. Mike was the star for Mega as he shut down AK and Derek to lead them to victory last week. I see this as a nailbiter with Filthier getting into the semis with a 2-1 win. 

3 Fresh Kills v 10 Fuzz

Jess: mom come pick me up I’m scared. I thought Poutine v Fuzz was electric so I expect a lot of goals from both sides in this one. Hughes came up huge for Fuzz especially with that last second rocket from half court to win the game – the guy doesn’t miss. I want to see the Hughes v George matchup. I’m not really even gonna mention Gabe and Ariel here because they are OLD NEWS; it’s time for the era of George and Braun in the media. I think the girls on each team here are evenly matched, maybe with a slight edge to FK since they have Meg’s entire Colby roster. Fresh Kills hasn’t really been tested much this year when they have a full strength roster so this will be an interesting one. I predict the bad guys win – but who exactly are the bad guys here? I’ll never tell. 

Russo: I think Fuzz as the 10 seed is a prime example of how important attendance is during the regular season. Fresh Kills’ offensive punch has been well documented, but Fuzz are right there with them as far as speed and skill go. Jess might be afraid of Glnzr’s wrath picking a winner here, but I fear no Glnzr. Fresh Kills over Fuzz, 4-3 OT. Will definitely be getting to the courts early to watch this one.

Glnzr: If Lois was still around you’d fear her. You’re lucky she didn’t read this in heaven or you would have missed your shootout attempt in D5! But I digress. I’ll just say this…besides the Elves/FK playoff matchups in 2010/2011, the two franchises have largely stayed away from each other. Both franchises have won the last 5 combined championships and neither had to play each other. For our shit regular season we deserve this matchup. I hope we win. Also, I hope Jess is right bc to her, we are the bad guys as she would root for Jeffrey Dahmer over Fuzz. 

4 Lbs v 9 Cobra Kai

Jess: Cobra Kai came out a little flat against us (the Rainbows) last week which was surprising but if they’re in regular fighting form I think this will be a tough one for the Lbs. Also don’t put Yetter on defense again, what a waste!! Once again this matchup has equality in terms of the women on the roster, the goalies, and some of the top dudes. A matchup to look out for: corey/chad vs the toms. Everyone (read: Frey) claims I always root against the Lbs but I think even with the loss of their captain/best player they will have enough player power to win. 

Russo: As a proud member of Jack Global, we’ve had enough of Big Russ Conglomerate. They spend their funds irresponsibly on Subway sandwiches and the propaganda has reached an all time high. 

Per the office of Jack Desmond McGinty, VP of Jack Global, “Jack Global will be conducting interviews for anyone interested in joining our audit team. Jack Global will be conducting a full audit of Big Russ Conglomerate.”

But back to hockey, I’m excited to see Scotty, Russ, and Yetter not be friends for an hour (well, Russ and Yetter are still friends since they’re on the same team, but you get my point). If Liam and Frey’s injuries cancel each other out, I’d give the offensive edge to Lbs., the defensive edge to CK, and the goalie edge slightly to CK. Shockingly, I’m predicting another close one with CK squeaking out a late-game winner to the tune of 3-2. 
Glnzr: CK has been in the semis the last 4 years. The issue I have with CK is they just don’t have the offense the Lbs. do. The Lbs. can lose Frey and Avery and still have Roberts (if he’s not watching the Commanders), Scotty and 7-male bots. I’m going to go 2-1 Lbs., in a game where they will outshoot CK 30-17.

Here we go, folks. Time for the rubber to hit the road. 16 teams enter, 1 team leaves (well, technically we all leave to go to home but you get the point). Let’s dive in!

1) Vertz vs 16) Gremlins 

Jess: I’m just gonna leave Walker’s favorite meme here…

Russo: I’ll recuse myself from this write-up. But just putting it out there BTSH, you let the Vertz get hot ?

Glnzr: Jamie will need a MasterClass to eliminate the Vertz. It ain’t happening. But I also don’t think it will be a massacre. 4-0. 

2) Mega v 15) Karma

Jess: This might be the only real wildcard of the play in winners v top 4 teams. When Karma and Mega met earlier this year, Julie had a nonexistent roster and was able to canvas for subs throughout the blacktop, somehow defeating Karma 3-1. This time around will be much harder for Mega, whose record against other d1 teams this year is 0-2. I think Karma has an all around slight edge here. 

Russo: Gonna have to disagree with you on this one, Jess. Having won four one-goal games—even though it feels like many more—Mega’s defensive structure is suffocating. Karma’s forwards have to run through the girl-power gauntlet that is Shelly, Tash, Courtney, Cara, and Julie. Versus a more wheel-and-deal team, Karma has a better chance. But here, I don’t think Derek, AK, and the rest of the squad are able to generate enough offense to snag the victory. 

Glnzr: I’d love to know who is playing for both. Assuming all attend. As I told Tash yesterday in our first ever private text exchange!! I think she will lose. AK/Derek are the top 2 players playing. But the real key is Kittridge. He’s relentless. I’m not sure he isn’t just a bot programmed to run and look angry. I’d pay millions to see a picture of him smiling.* Reluctantly, Friedman is a good goalie. As for Mega…

They have some good guys on the team as well. No one knows who they are but I think three of them are named Jeff. One is a Dr. Their goalie Mike has had some impressive playoff games, though they all end up in losses (Loss to FK in shootout in 2011, loss to Rehabs in 2019). And as great as their girls are, Karma’s are prob top 4-5 (Vertz/Mega both great, Hookers 3rd). So I just don’t like the matchup here for Mega. I see a tough 2-1 loss ending their historic season and a much needed rule to the playoff structure next season. Be proud Julie, you never thought you’d see the day where Mega is a contender. 

*Will not pay one damn cent

Jess: Tash, if you’re reading this you can block him.

3) Fresh Kills v 14) Butchers 

Russo: It took Butchers everything they had to pull off the 1-0 win on Sunday vs. Agents. Sunday, they’re playing a juggernaut in Fresh Kills who are looking to repeat as PBR Champions. Corey’s been a rock in net, George took home the crown for most goals this year, and got Hogg mid-season to add an even bigger punch. Butchers would need an early Christmas/Hanukkah miracle to win but we’ll get a true gauge of what a D1 vs D4 matchup looks like. 

Jess: Actually, maybe this is the stop stop he’s already dead meme game. FK lost Louis to injury and Meg isn’t getting flown in by Big Bucks Gabe this year but like you’ve said, they’re a juggernaut. 

Glnzr: Maddy is the key to this game. If she can singlehandedly stop all the great FK players, and score 9 goals herself, they have a chance not to use the meme that Jess should have waited to use on this game, and only lose by 5-6. I’d also like to take this time to say Rachel G. is very pretty. And for the love of God Chadwick, if Gabe is at your point don’t leave him open! Stop following the damn ball!

Jess: I SAID I MADE A MISTAKE WITH THE PREMATURE MEME USAGE. Also, no pressure, Maddy. 

4) Lbs v 13) WTP

Russo: With Frey out for the year, that leaves a big hole on D for Lbs.. BUT, for this game, I don’t really see that being a problem—talk to me in the Elite 8. WTP has struggled to find consistent scoring this season outside of McCauley and Yehuda. They squeaked past the 20th-ranked team last week but this looks to be the end of the road for orange. I predict a hat trick for Lbs. and a shutout win for Zisser. 

Jess: I think Casca is going to make this game hard for the Lbs and they’ve had some attendance troubles the past few games. As much as I love an upset I’m inclined to agree with you, but let’s hope it’s a closer game. 

Glnzr: The Lbs. might let WTP hang around but they have no shot to win. Find a Yehuda meme from D5 and stick it in here bc the Lbs. cruise, 3-0. 

5) Hookers vs 12) Anklebiters

Jess: The Hookers have finished 2nd in the 2nd division while Biters have maybe bit off more than they can chew this season. The two teams’ record against each other is 1-1, with a 1 goal lead in each game. I think this really comes down to who shows up. I feel like I’ve been at the courts a few times this year where the Hookers are going into OT or generally looking like they’re going to lose but manage to surmount a comeback. It seems only fitting for this game to go into OT. I still think playoffs probie is the X factor the biters need to win it. 

Russo: After finishing second in D2 this season, Hookers might have been expecting an easy one going into the Round of 16. Nope, they get the Anklebiters. Not the 2021 or 2022 version of the Gougers, but still…Probie’s gonna Probie. Biters are definitely a bit more top-heavy on offense with Probie, Jared, and Mike accounting for most of their goals this season. While Hookers had 21 different goal scorers this season—but nobody with more than four. I also see this being an ankle nail biter but Hookers pull off the W. 

Glnzr: This is going to be a great game. Top talent and goalie goes to the Biters, while women and depth are big W’s for the Hookers. The Hookers deserve to win, they have been the more consistent team, but I think the Biters are going to pull this one out 4-3. 

6) Sky Fighters vs 11) Filthier 

Russo: This one should be fun. It’s not dissimilar to Hookers/Biters where you have a more balanced team (Sky Fighters) vs. a more offensively top-heavy team (Filthier). For me, this comes down to attendance. If Filthier have a full lineup, we’re gonna see a very tired Mo and Jake huffing oxygen on the sidelines. I’m calling an upset here and giving the edge to Filither, 5-3 (EN). 

Also shoutout Cam for his league-leading 6 shutouts this season for Sky Fighters (+ 3 more as a FA for 9 total!!)

Jess: Sky F’s have had a continual glowup over the years and I don’t see Filthier putting a stop to a decent playoffs run. They have a great combo of newer ladies and gents who can score but the vets like Hopper, Greg, and Mia know how to get it done. While their offense might be evenly matched, I think Filthier is lacking in the defense department compared to Sky Fighters. I think Sky Fighters win this by 1 in regulation.

Glnzr: Having just played and reffed Filthier, I have to say they are an underrated team. I didn’t notice any weak links and I think they are just more balanced than SF. If everyone shows for the SF, that’s disastrous as Wes and Stern need to play every other shift. My brain says Filthier but my gut says SF. Sadly for Richie…I haven’t been doing my crunches so I’m going to go with my gut and say 3-2 SF.

7) Poutine vs 10) Fuzz

Jess: presented without comment, this southpark character. If you know his name, great. If not, you’re missing out on a good joke. Suuuuper random reminder to be nice to the refs! Anyways. This is a tough one but since Poutine let me mercilessly troll them with the ‘f*ck’ addition to Simon’s poutine tattoo earlier this year, I will root for them.

Russo: I’d like to name this game the Sleeveless Bowl. Poutine—whose jerseys are generally being tank tops vs. Rich “Hero” Glnzr and his refusal to wear sleeves in any situation.

Probably the biggest critique of Fuzz this year has been their inconsistency in net. Channeling the 2019 Philadelphia Flyers (obscure NHL goalie stat here), Fuzz have used six different goalies this season. But they’ve gotta pick one for playoffs and Dave GDR gets the call. I have personally been victimized by a GDR Playoff Robbery at Moffo (RIP) and it is a sight to see. But Captain Mikey has Poutine firing on all cylinders heading into playoffs and I expect them to get a quick jump on Fuzz and not look back. Prediction: Poutine 3, Fuzz 2. Sorry Rich.

Glnzr: Jess, Scott won’t be there but let me quote the Bible, “Scottih made a mistake but is actually a really good guy when you get to know him. Let’s go Mets, Let’s go Elves, Let’s go America.” Also…Jess rooting against Fuzz. How new. I wish I had the video…in the 2018 finals I made a video of the one goal CK scored against us. As Meredith Brooks was singing her iconic song “Bitch” I slowly panned the crowd celebrating their goal and stopped on future ROY Jess, going nuts rooting against us. I’m fairly certain she would root for ISIS against Fuzz. To her credit she took the joke from the old creepy guy in the league well and we are better friends for it. But since she continually roots against me I may have to root for Yehuda in their arm wrestling rematch next year in OC.

Jess: Let the record show Yehuda cheated. Also that video is iconic and I wish I could find it. 

8) Rainbows vs 9) Cobra Kai

Jess: Well, given the fact the last time we played the dojo our goalie slept through his alarm and one of our defenseman played in net wearing a backpack [see photo] and Russ’ ice hockey pads (thx btw Russ) – I think this is going to go a little bit better for us. With Emma in Sweden and Liam out with a broken wrist (feel better!) CK has been weakened but it won’t be an easy game by any means. Unless of course we accidentally get Campbell too drunk the night before at his best friend Henry’s 30th birthday party!!! #goodvibes. Of course I am going to predict my own team to win it in OT, game winner by birthday boy Henry.

Russo: Seems like absolutely no favoritism at play here. Let’s get real Jess, while Rainbows have definitely come a long way from “Let’s pop champagne, we won a game!!”, this is still a D1 vs D4 matchup. In your scenario, a hungover Campbell plays well below his average self. Fine, point for Rainbows. But are you saying Henry—Mr. 30th Birthday Boy himself—isn’t also gonna be pushing the can lady out of the way on his way to hurl? You sure about that? Cobra Kai win, bring out the dancing lobsters.  

Glnzr: Really impressive season by the Rainbows and it sucked there was no media this year to celebrate it. I’m legitimately happy for you but sad that you had to play CK. They’ve made the semis four straight seasons and while we are all sick of seeing them in the semis, their def making it to the QF’s by cruising to a 3-0 win. But hey…cover anyone named Tom’s forehand and don’t worry if they go on their backhand and you may have a chance.

By: Jess, Russo, & Glnzr

We’re back BTSHers.

After an extended time away, your beloved preview writers are back from rehab their year-long break. What’d we miss? 

Let’s give the ol’ typing knuckles a crack and dive in to some delectable play-in games this Sunday

13) WTP vs 20) Bad Seeds

Jess: WTP has had a rough year but I truly don’t see them losing this one, sorry Seeds. They’ve had some close games this season and Casca in net is a huge edge. 

Russo: Hard to argue with Jess. We’ve got the best team* versus the worst team* in the play-ins to start us off. But WTP has struggled to find consistent scoring this year, led by McCauley and Yehuda predominantly. If Bad Seeds can sneak a couple past Casca early, who knows what could happen? 

*loosely based on 17 weeks of “hockey”

Rich: I am a Dave Gil de Rubio Truther. Put a good effort in front of him and he will play well in return. There’s a ton of untapped competitiveness on the Bad Seeds that can make this a game. As long as their vets show the same passion as their kids, this game will be close. I see a 4-1 WTP win but let me tell you, there is definitely a way for the Seeds to steal one here. 

14) Butchers vs 19th) Agents

Jess: I actually think this one could go either way and an overtime would be entertaining. The Agents, when they have their act together, can connect and score. I think there’s like 3 different guys named Jacob on the team who are all good and one of them is up there in league goals. They also played a pretty tight game against Poutine and took the Hookers to OT. The Butchers are scrappy, and while they’ve struggled to beat any teams out of 4th division besides one game vs the Demons, they’ve got solid veterans (Rachel, Art, Brady, Chadwick, Akhil), and talented newcomers in Maddy and Kate. 

Russo: Full disclosure, because of all the Jacobs on The Agents, I have no clue if I’ve been giving the right Jacob(s) the right goals this season. Please yell at the refs for not putting first, middle, and last name on the scoring sheets. 

I think this game comes down to depth and in my humble opinion, the Butchers have more of that. Some of that just comes with the team being around longer and building that nucleus. Agents have skill and I’m excited to see their team grow with a bit of consistency year over year. But right now, I don’t see Butchers losing this one. PROVE ME WRONG, GREEN! (And let me know how many Jacobs you have plz)

Rich: Russo, you can’t call yourself humble. If you give your opinion and say it’s humble, it’s literally not! 

Jess, Ben is not a solid veteran! My God, I’m working with amateurs here. Speaking of amateurs, I don’t see this being all that close. The Jacobs won’t get past the Butchers. I see a 4-0 win. But I’d like to remind the Butchers you did lose to the Rainbows before the pandemic in the playoffs so make sure you come to play. 

15) Karma vs 18) Demons

Jess: Do we have a medic on standby for this game? Karma should win this but not without a fight – literally (note: for legal reasons this is a joke, please do not fight, especially now that Jeff is gone there’s no reason to!!!). It’s the classic really-good-2nd-division-team-gets-moved-up-to-1st-division-where-they-proceed-to-lose-all divisional-games-and-as-a-result-have-a-terrible-record-and-have-to-do-play-ins but DON’T LET THEIR RECORD FOOL YOU. There really isn’t one weak player on the team besides AK, sucks he had to come back. The Demons were hurting a bit this year with the losses of Jeff and Neil (thanks Vertz) but have picked up some big dudes who don’t know the rules about high sticks and stick lifting (they’ll get it eventually I’m sure…) who seem talented. Then we’ve also got DRo and Rubens blasting shots from the point every chance they get. 

Russo: I don’t think you need to hyphenate all that. That’s just a sentence. Anyways, Karma is full of players who decided to move out of state only to realize New York is #1 and are now back. Sup, Derek and AK who I know don’t read these things. But yeah, those two Empire State turncoats pack an offensive punch that’s seldom matched in this league. Demons have had a solid pipeline over the years, but it looks like they’re trending in the wrong direction for this one with a 2024 D4 demotion imminent. 

Jess: Rich is probably googling “what is a turncoat” rn. Also I live for the media solely making sure AK and Derek don’t get too cocky. But Friedman can be cocky because he’s a great tendy. 

Russo: Great hair too. Love ya Steve 😉

Rich: What is a turncoat? Larry, Gil, Walsh and myself all Tea Partied the stupid Brits out of Boson in 1776! Also Karma didn’t lose all their games against top division teams. ?

This is what we call in wrestling a squash match. 6-0 Karma. 

16) Gremlins vs 17) Riots

Jess: To me, these teams are two sides of the same coin: really strong goaltender support with some bad luck in a handful of games this season. The Gremlins started out this season poorly but have gone on a hot streak, winning 4 of their last 5 games. Meanwhile the Riots who seemed like a divisional powerhouse last season only managed to snag 4 total wins this season. Given where things currently stand I’m going to give this one to the Gremlins in a tight game 2-1.  

Russo: Previews are fun, why don’t we do these every week? Actually nvm. Barring any major upset predictions from Glnzr, we’ve picked the favorite team in each matchup to win so far. Not exactly groundbreaking journalism. So let’s shake this mf up. I’m picking the Riots to pull off the “upset” here in a nail-biting OT game. 

Let’s break down the season stats for each team: 

-# of Goals/season: Gremlins, 31 // Riots, 29
-Record: Gremlins, 5W – 9L – 1T // Riots, 4W – 9L – 1T (where’d that missing game go??)
-Top Scorers: Gremlins, Rodney, 6 // Riots, Kevin, 7

It’s only fair that the final score is as close as their stat lines. 

Rich: This game is up to Eric. If the 2015 version who wanted…nay demanded…NAY COMMANDED Gut Rot to finish 12th (by performing the single greatest day in BTSH history, subbing against the teams who were 12th and 13th and winning his own game to jump to 12th, and giving up just 1 goal in the 3 games)l…then the Riots will win. But that Eric was captured and beheaded by ISIS and this new version is here so I’ll go with the best new ref Alison and the Grems, 2-1.