Archive for the ‘league info’ Category
Happy Mother’s Day
Friday, May 10th, 2019
2019: Week 4 Box Scores – Scoring Highlights
Tuesday, May 7th, 2019Thanks to the rain on Sunday, these are still on time! Woohoo!
Butchers 4 @ Rehabs 3
Pig Knifes – Mike M x2 (2), Brady C (1), Dana K (1)
Goalie Win – Peter Parker via Rose Charity underdog run
Rehabs – Alex M (2), Cherie x2 (4)
Goalie Loss – Eric R (0-1)
Game Notes: The Butchers were still in party mode from the Rose Charity tournament the night before and put in an effort that would have probably been best served in the prior season when Rehabs were a divisional foe.
Karma 4 @ Demons 3 F/SO
Karma – Bill K (1), Scory Cory V (1), Derek Zed (3)
Goalie Win – Steve F (2-2, GAA of 2.38)
Shootout Winner – Cory (again…of course)
Demons – Zach “Fine” (1), Neil Zedman x2 (9)
Goalie Shootout Loss – Zach L (2-1, GAA of 1.29)
Game Notes: Karma still doesn’t have any ROW and Neil keeps scoring. Boring. Next!
Riots 2 @ What the Puck?! 8
Riots – Katie S (1), Nick (1)
Goalie Loss – Dave GdR (1-2)
DaPucks – Hoggystyle x2 (3), Sam McI x3 (3), Henry x2 (3), Dave Mac (1)
Goalie Win – Goalie Ed (2-1-1, GAA of 2.44)
Game Notes: This game had way too many assisted (not unassisted) goals for my liking.
Advncd Anlytcs: Through week 4, WTP is the second highest scoring team in the league and tied for the most goal scorers with 10. Their balanced attacked overwhelmed a revamped Riots roster coming off their first win of the season in week 3, outscoring les rouges 6-nil in the final 25 minutes of the contest. Since Ed helped put those stats together, his GAA is now (finally) publishable.
Poutine 3 @ Mega 1
Mega – Max T (1)
Goalie Loss – Mike T (1-2)
Poutine – Jo-Ann “the” Pro. (1), Christine L (1), Jonathan “not 69” C (1)
Goalie Win – RJ F (2-0, GAA of 2.00)
Game Notes: Someone not named after a whiskey called that Christina would score. Where was that honourable* mention in the three stars post?
Filthier 4 @ GANK 3 F/SO
Filthier – Jaime D x2 (5), Greg (1)
Goalie Win – Tim K (2-1, GAA of 2.26)
Shootout Winner – Unknown (you’re going to start sensing a theme here)
GANK – Jason Bourne x2 (2), Probert (2)
Goalie Shootout Loss – Craig LaC (3-1, GAA of 0.98)
Game Notes: Jason Bourne is still trying to figure out how he arrived at Tompkins Square Park for this game of “hockey” that we play.
Gremlins 4 @ Dank Bows 3 F/SO
Gremlins – Erich G (3), Tim Magic Man x2 (3)
Goalie Win – Jamie B (3-1)
Shootout Winner – Unknown
Rainbows – Karl S (1), Yetter x2 (4)
Goalie Shootout Loss – Greenwald
Game Notes: Someone not named after a whiskey took shifts against Yetter, taking those minuses for the team(mates who didn’t want them). Maybe they scored the shootout winner, but we will never know, because the ref never wrote it down on the gamesheet.
Evil Dojo 2 @ Fuzz! 0
CK – A Greedy Provider* (1), Eff Gill Ween (2)
Goalie Win – Campbell W-W (2-0, 2 shutouts)
Fuzz – just kidding, they got shutout
Goalie Loss – Dave GdR via Pucks Riots tire fire
Game Notes: Rich sent me an angry emoji this morning and it had nothing to do with defecting from his Ocean City team. Praise the GilF on his team always asking for the box score writeups!
*This article originally had Rachel L scoring the opening goal of this game (also known as game winners in shutout wins) due to her celebration after said goal. We apologize for an untimely CK beat reporter who finally corrected us after we went to print, and praise thee Provider with a spectacular goal, which, was presumably a “pass” provided to the top corns of the twine, done in selfless fashion.**
**Okay Russ, no more a$$ ki$$ing. You have your wtpucking goal now! Stop wearing 99 you pl*g.
Sky Fighters 3 @ Rut Rot 2 F/SO
SKY – Ariel via FB Humblebrags, Greg I (1)
Goalie Win – OG James (1-2, GAA of 2.26)
Shootout Winner – Dave
Gut Rot – Rob Shhleshzzzak (1), John S (1)
Goalie Shootout Loss – Sam (0-2)
Game Notes: Are Sky Fighters actually trying to keep their players around this year by hosting Cinco de Mayo team events?
Pounds 2 @ Hookers 1
Pounds – Liz B (1), Luke (1)
Goalie Win – Sizzler (3-0, GAA of 1.67)
Hookers – Clark H (1)
Goalie Loss – Wald-Greens Goalie Emporium via Corlears Park kiddie sized gear
Game Notes: If you score the opening goal in a 2-1 win. It’s not the game winning goal. If you score the opening goal in a shutout win, then it IS a GwG. [eom]
Math 1 @ FK 2
Math – Jon M (2)
Goalie Loss – David L (2-2)
Fresh Kills – Nick Scott (1), The Euge (1)
Goalie Win – Barch Pile (1-2, GAA of 2.26)
Game Notes: The FK sub carousel finally pans out and FK grab a badly needed two points. Math did not want the two points because they were winning too many games and getting concerningly close to the top of the second division standings, even if it was only week 3.
Rain Fears Wins – Games Have Been Postponed
Sunday, May 5th, 2019
Week 5 Previews – Part 2
Friday, May 3rd, 2019Instant Karma at Sky Fighters
By The Meatbox
Gather round BTSH loyal subjects for I am about to tell you a story. The story is about my dear friend Robert. Robert is very similar to a lot of you. He cares deeply about his community (he’s a crime stopper after all), he has a thing for moms, and he loves the game of hockey. The one thing Robert has that you don’t is a Ronkonkoma Condo. But if you pay close attention to this tale, you too may find a way to own one.
Now, Robert didn’t just wake up one day and say “today I will buy a condominium in the legendary neighborhood of Ronkonkoma”; nobody just wakes up and purchases one of those illustrious pieces of land. Years of blood, sweat, and tears went into this. Robert trained for hours to rise up the crime stopper ranks to make this happen. He became an expert at answering the phone on the first ring, he became a legend in his local cross fit gym- soccer moms were always on the brink of destruction, he perfected counting to fooooooouuurrr, and then he poached a shit ton of BTSH players, rebranded his team to make one of them happy and went on to win a BTSH title and later buy a condo. The end.
Now looking at this matchup Karma seems like a team that could be on the cusp of Robertdom. They’ve put in their blood, sweat, and tears. They’ve trained for moments like this, putting in hours on the blacktop and at the bar. They’re really, really, ridiculously good looking which generally means things come easier for them in life. They’re just a poach or two and a rebrand away from something special… dare I say, bangin’, no, dare I say uber bangin’.
On the other side of the court we see what happens when you don’t protect your assets. Assholes like Poutine befriend them, threaten to rip your throat out, and steal all your brand new players. Dear readers, let this be a lesson to all of us: the devil comes like a thief in the night. And the Devil’s name is Brian Sullivan. However, the Sky Fighters still have Stein, Mia, Caroline and Infanti, members of the legendary Sky Fighters team that upset Robert in his first bid at BTSH glory and Ronkonkoma home ownership. Can these four rally the troops to collect the Sky Fighters first winning streak of the young season?
Prediction: Friedman brings his A-game and the post shootout jump into Derek’s arms is completely unneeded as this game doesn’t go to a shootout. The Sky Fighters keep it interesting, but in the end Chadwick’s height, the Tremble sisters’ charisma and Isaac’s Hemsworth-esque looks are too much for them to overcome. Karma wins this one 4-1, pushing their win streak to 3 games and letting the league know that they’re not just here to be really, really ridiculously good looking. Buckle up.
(more…)Week 5 Previews – Part 1
Thursday, May 2nd, 2019What The Puck at Gremlins
By Regina George
The Pucks skated by the Riots last week. I forget the score but it was a lot to a little. Meanwhile, the Gremlins had their hands full with the Rainbows, beating them in a shootout.
And now for a comprehensive list that has almost nothing to do with hockey. DISCLAIMER: If I say “no offense” you can’t be offended. It’s the law.
Better hair: WTP in a landslide (Henry and Mike D with the flow but even Hogg has a fancy haircut. Anyone ever notice how guys in a relationship have better hair than when they were single?)
Better goalie: Gremlins (No offense Ed, but Jamie has this on lock. You want to hate him but he’s just too nice and happy. Has anyone seen him frown? The media would appreciate a hot tip.)
Better fashion: WTP. Walker wears band t-shirts from when he was 18 and Cody has that eyesore of a hat. (no offense Cody). (just like, get a better hat).
Better ladies: WTP has Sam (who scored a hat trick last weekend), Annie and Emily but the Gremlins have Marcella, Allison and Courtney. I’m calling this a tie.
Better chill factor: I’m not saying the Gremlins can’t hang but I’m also saying a certain member (it was Erich okay, twist my arm) said he doesn’t hang out after games. I’ve seen more WTP players stick around than Gremmies. You can score all the goals in the world, ERICH (and salt boyzzz), but if you can’t chug a beer after a game WHAT’S THE POINT.
Both of these teams are pretty good this year but I’m going to give the advantage to the pucks. While the Gremlins have had some great victories (beating fresh kills) WTP has been more consistent.
Prediction: Pucks win 3-1 and Cody gets hit in the nads 0 times.
(more…)