Archive for the ‘league info’ Category
Three Spoiled Meats of Week 2
Tuesday, April 9th, 2019By The Meatbox
Man, week 1 was soooo lame. I thought ya’ll had forgotten that half the fun of BTSH is the drama, but thank God you proved me wrong. I should have just realized that this league’s drama is like a plant. Last week we gave it some water, this week we gave it some sunlight and HOLY CRAP IT GREW. Well, that or whenever Russ Ham shows up he brings the drama with him #theprovider.
Without further adieu here are your 3 spoiled meats of the week.
Third Spoiled Meat
Ringers who can’t keep their sticks down
I get it. BTSH is kinda hockey, but not quite hockey. We’re like some weird bastard child of alcoholism, soccer, hockey, and not being a dick. For people new to it who come in ready to play hockey, not being allowed to stick check is weird. All the whistles are weird. BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD KEEP YOUR STICK DOWN IM TIRED OF ALL THESE WHISTLES. Winning is awesome, but you know what’s not awesome? Showing up to work on Monday with a giant gash in your face because a ringer wasn’t able to keep their stick on the blacktop. Keep ‘em down folks.
(more…)Around The League (Week 2)
Monday, April 8th, 2019By Arya Stark
Cobra Kai avenged last season’s shocking shootout loss and last week’s shocking lack of cleaning with a 3-0 win over the Riots. Campbell returned from god knows what was going down in Puerto Rico to notch the shutout.
Math bounced back from a tough opening loss to take down the Rainbows 5-2. Two goals scored by the cobra although if he wants to keep that nickname I’m going to need a snake charmer celebration ASAP.
The Hookers won 5-0 over Gut Rot, with Greenwald notching the shutout and saving survivor pools everywhere.
The Demons pulled an impressive win in a minor upset over the Butchers. They won 4-2 and look to be a lock to finish the season over .500 for the first time since 2016.
Filthy held on to beat Poutine 3-1 in a tight checking affair that almost featured a goalie brawl which would have been amazing and to my knowledge would have been a BTSH first (Rich pls confirm).
What The Puck pulled out the upset of the week, devastating many survivor pools but also delighting many fans as they held on for a tight 3-2 win over defending champ Fuzz. In related news, Fuzz is considering investing in an Ed P voodoo doll.
The Rehabs beat Karma 4-0 on a goal from Monique and a hat trick from the Meatbox. Later in the afternoon they made up last week’s rained out game and beat Fresh Kills by the same 4-0 score. An anonymous source on the sideline was heard bragging that “we don’t like dick and we don’t let in goals” which would be a great team slogan…much catchier than their current one, “our girls will destroy yours.”
The Gremlins outlasted the Fresh Kills 3-2 in a shootout. Ariel scored for the Fresh Kills, as is tradition, but Allison and Erich scored for the Gremlins and Jamie delivered the victory by stoning Gabe. It was the first victory in franchise history for the Grems over the Fresh Kills. Gabe’s grief took on a strange form as sometime around 8:15 he sent me this and this video…can’t lie, they are oddly fascinating.
The Biters beat Mega without the services of Probie, which they might want to get used to because if UVA wins tonight I don’t think any of us will ever see him again.
Finally, the LBS bested the Sky Fighters 2-0 on a hard fought Zisser shutout. The Sky Fighters picked up some solid players in the offseason which is great news for teams like Poutine and Fuzz.
See ya next week.
Week 2 Previews – Part 2
Friday, April 5th, 2019Poutine Machine at Filthier
by Tracy Demon
First and foremost, I’d like to thank Poutine for managing to eke out an OT win against What the Puck in the season opener last week, thereby keeping my BTSH Survivor Pool dreams alive. Jo and co., I believed in you and you didn’t let me down. That said, Filthier is such a well-oiled machine that even in the absence of a rain-slicked court, the Pou is going to have a tougher time slip-sliding to victory. Please don’t try to unpack that tortured metaphor.
Prediction: Poutine will bring their usual scrap and speed, but Filthier gets the regulation win, 4-2.
(more…)2019: Week 1 Box Scores – Scoring Highlights
Thursday, April 4th, 2019Et le but!
No, that is not a reference to Sam “’ack a dart” Norris having made a return to the btsh sideline to referee – but in reference to having our first Sunday of sneaker hockey at Tompkins in, well like barely 3 months, okay maybe 4. With that, here were the goal (le but) scorers (and goalies of record) from this past Dimanche.
Poutine 5 @ WTP 3
Poutine – Mike Pags, K-Mac, James McQ, Mike Marr, Brian Sulli
Goalie Win – RJ F
DaPucks – The Butler, The Dude, The K-Man
Goalie Loss – Ed the P stands for #myPoachee2019 (No GAA, sad face)
Game Notes: Someone told me that Henry was expecting a Box Score shout out for scoring the league’s first goal of the season – luckily for him I’m in mid-season form and 5 other btsh posts already beat me to it, so no, I’m not saucing over that shout out. I will however say that the #notMyRoy2019 race is off to a hot start! You really expected me to say something different?
AdvncdAnlytcs: After his side drew level at halftime and midway through the 2nd half, Poutine’s Mikey-M huffed and puffed and blew the ball far side on a nice one timer to win the game late, and then, as a referee definitely not named Greenwald put it, Poutine “ran away with the game” by scoring an empty netter with half a minute left. Wait, the shot count didn’t suggest that at all….
Fuzz 3 @ Filthier 1
Fuzz – Gil’s Son’s Dad, Jeff x2, Alexa
Goalie Win – Tim Bwn
Filthier – Jaime D
Goalie Loss – Tim K
Game Notes: Fuzz used their championship banner to mend the north net on the east court before the game started, so (un)fortunately Sunday’s east court action could not be delayed by another trophy presentation, because that meant neither a trophy nor banner could be used for said spectacle. Thank god. If you are looking to point fingers, the netting “banner” you can blame on me, Rich.
Karma 0 @ Gremlins 1
Goalie Loss – Steve F
Gremlins – A Rockoff
Goalie Shutout Win – Jamie B
Game Notes: A battle of dependable predecessor and successor ends with the former prevailing in a low scoring goalie duel. Or it was just the conditions, who really knows, just look at the next game’s score.
Gut Rot 0 @ Demons 7
Goalie Loss – Charlie O’D via EitanNotGoalieing4u
Demons – Neil Zed x4, Miles S x2, Sara K,
Game Notes: I guess those people who stayed on Gut Rot are enjoying themselves thus far.
AdvncdAnlytcs: After starting last season 0-and-insert big number here, Zach Lewis gets 2019 started with a W and a shutout. Oh, and Neil had a natural hat-trick to pace Demons with a 3-0 lead, which included a late marker in the first half which wasn’t really a turning point in the game but still cool.
Pounds 4 @ Cobra Kai 2
Pounds – A Frey, Ajay, Karsten x2
Goalie Win – Mike Z
CK – Eff Gill Ween, Pete G
Goalie Loss – G#2 Not Campbell (we’re awaiting our beat reporter to confirm…er, wait, is it a beat report if they lose?)
Game Notes: Top Shelf Tommy broke his scoring drought by going top bunk on a deflection…into his own net. It was a goal which unfortunately turned the tide in the game as Cobra Kai’s 2 goal lead from early in the game evaporated quite quickly thereafter, unlike the water on the courts.
AdvncdAnlytcs: CK’s new goalie was quoted as being “too ice” like by the Pounds sideline. Logical statement. Real hockey don’t work here. That’s why Roberts never scores any goals, except when he plays against WTP.
Butchers 0 @ Hookers 1 (F/SO)
Goalie Shutout Shootout Loss – Max via FA
Goalie Shutout Shootout Win – Dustin
Shootout Winner – Danilo
Game Notes: Is this a sign of things to come for the 2nd division, close low scoring contests and a narrow division race through opening day to the final weeks of the season?
Biters 4 @ Math 1
GANK – Proboooort, Jared, Chris x2
Goalie Win – Craig La-“DJBB”
Math – Justin “Caps are still champs” P
Goalie Loss – David L
Game Notes: Alas, it was not to be for 2D; this game was not as close as the other divisional matchup on this day.
Mega 2 @ Rainbows 3 (F/SO)
Mega – Bill L, Joe L (I’m sensing a theme with all these L’s here)
Goalie Shootout Loss – Mike T-man
Dank Bows – Matt F, Yetter
Goalie Shootout Win – Greenwald
Shootout Winner – Rem
Game Notes: Clearly Rem’s Return wasn’t factored into that preview!
AdvncdAnlytcs: Greenwald has said that he will not be retiring, even though there is video evidence of a North American champion burning him in the shootout. Give that guy a participation trophy for toughing it out!
Wait, Shortis won the North American championships? Where are the banner and championship jackets at?
Rehabs @ FK – PPD #SunFears
Sky @ Riots – PPD #SunFears
Week 2 Previews – Part 1
Thursday, April 4th, 2019Dank Rainbows at Mathematics
Rem’s return to the Rainbows from a one year hiatus provided the boost they needed to get over the Mega hump. It may not have earned them the Schlitz, but revenge is a dish best served with a side of ‘hey, how’s my Rainbow taste?’
Herr’s ringers had a difficult time acclimating to our asphalt pond last week, but hey, conditions weren’t exactly ideal for the transition. This Sunday’s forecast is looking promising and so is their matchup. We like the chances of them having an opportunity to display their talents.
Prediction: Cat adores Math’s ‘blonde’ jerseys and is caught gazing as Jon and Dave easily get the Mathematicians their first W of the season, 5-1.
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