Archive for the ‘league info’ Category
2018: Week 15 Box Scores – Scoring Highlights
Saturday, August 11th, 2018I’m preparing these in between chell games here at my friend’s place in the 6IX (see video linked below if you don’t know which city that is) before watching some tennis by York University. Hopefully we won’t get too close to Jane and Finch, but I did successfully make it through 4 months living in Weston so these box scores should hopefully be finalized before Sunday unless my work laptop is robbed by Roberts point (Suns out, guns out = snipe = gun = snipe = Roberts = NEWMAN).
Well, we made it (finally…!) On to the box scores…
FK 1 @ ‘biters 3
FK – Gabe (7)
Goalie Loss – Patty B (6-3-1, GAA of 2.40)
GANK – Probert x2 (18), Chris B (4)
Goalie Win – Timmy B (4-2 and shortly 4-3, GAA of 2.00 but rising)
Game Notes: Are Fresh Kills just lulling us all into a false sense of security? Yes, just remember that win against Rehabs just a few short weeks ago! (Oh look, such detailed box scores, much wow).
Gut Rot 2 @ Rainbows 5
Bitzez – #AkhilNation (6), Ramon S (7)
Goalie Loss – Ed “just post my GAA already” P (4-7, GAA of 3 point Johnny T)
Rainbows – Dan C via FA, Michael “I don’t always score – since I play for Rainbows – but when I do, I score in bunches” Yetter x2 (4), Juan-Karl-0 Stanton (2), Kat “Dragon” C (1)
Goalie Win – David “#myHotLegs2018” G (2-9, GAA of 3.33)
Game Notes: Greenwald emailed me the game sheet for his own game. Which I thought was odd, but then I presumed the inevitable, a defeat for the Gut Rot at the hands of some Dank Rainbows.
Quick Shifts: Did Rainbows just replace Gut Rot as league sweethearts? (I just threw up a little in my mouth typing that, but I’m sure that’s related to my travel and not typing out that preceding sentence)
‘biters 1 @ Fuzz 4 (game started Week 13, 17 minutes completed on Sunday from 2-1 Fuzz)
GANK – Probert (was his 15th, still at 17)
Goalie Loss – Timmy B (4-3, GAA of 2.29)
Fuzz! – Miles x3 (completed hat trick on Sunday for his 15th), Mike Teyt (16)
Goalie Win – Coach (10-1-1, GAA of 2.42)
Game Notes: There was little shade to be thrown around on Sunday, hopefully everyone had some sunscreen on.
Math 1 @ Fuzz 3
Math – Zach of the Norri Clan (3)
Goalie Loss – David L (3-8, GAA of whatever a gallon is, in litres)
Fuzz – Mike Teyt (17), Jeff x2 (16)
Goalie Win – Coach (11-1-1, GAA of 2.31)
Game Notes in a Meme:
The new dank meme in Mathland. Unfortunately last time I checked the standings, Fuzz wasn’t and isn’t straight trash (although they might have been alluded to as such, in reference to 2017 standings in a previous box score post, when Hicks played for them last year). They were straight dehydrated on Sunday, however.
Quick Shifts: Since Fuzz now have three players with more than 15 goals…is that the equivalent of having three 40 (or 50?!) goal scorers in the show?
Demons 3 @ Riots 1
Demons – Rubens (1), Zach “he be” Fein (5), Brian Bats (1)
Goalie Win – Zach L (3-7-1, GAA of 3.18)
Riots – David “Danton’s Favourite Agent” Frost (3)
Goalie Loss – Dave GdR (3-9-1)
Mega Clutch 2 @ DaPucks 0
Mega – Jeff “The B stands for Brains and Brawn” B (8), Jeff “The H doesn’t stand for Height” H (4)
Goalie Shutout Win: Tuckman (4-7-1, 2nd Shutout)
Goalie Loss – Scott H (5-8, GAA of 3 point Ovi)
Game Notes: Shelly, Alex EM and Tuckman (but mostly Shelly as she played the whole game) fended off DaPucks for what is probably a franchise record (low) 5th shutout this season (after not being shutout all of last year) in a high event hockey game that saw Jeff B and Eric D take it to WTP all game with their dump and chase gameplan. Jeff showed WTP what it looks like if you play big out there in Orange (and White and Black) a la Eric Lindros, being the clear difference maker with his GwG midway through the second frame. He also made sure to knock over Bagel Zac as he tried one of his not for the faint of the Brooklyn heart post-up power moves, making him look like a Beta Soy Boy in the process (this bit is just included so Hicks can get a laugh; the integrity of the statement is as accurate as saying Sig knocked down some ‘biters to get the shady side of the courts on Sunday). The B in Bagel stands for Beta.
Trending: Scott leaves for a couple weeks in August and left his best effort out there on court on Sunday, making numerous miraculous (how did that not go in?) saves in the first half to keep it scoreless at the break but the goose egg was not to be as Mega finally broke through in the second half and never looked back.
Northern Lingo: Will Arnett would say that Julie was totally being a goal suck. She could have at least tried some deking. (Again, this passage is just to post the link, and is as accurate as saying that the Shortis snubbed me off their OCMD roster…I would have defected anyways)
Rehabs 2 @ Pounds 6
Rehabs – Brian “I only screen for sunscreen” Hicks (5), Andy “Bathgate” M (2)
Goalie Loss – Eric R (5-3, GAA of 2.25)
Pounds – #NotTheOriginalScottyK x3 (18), Jake “Charlie” Chaplin (4), Ajay “Anze” G x2 (3)
Goalie Win – Sizzler (7-3-2, GAA of 1.92)
Game Notes: Why did the other Div 1 teams plan their weeks off against Los Blancos this year?
Gremlins 1 @ Poos 4
Gremlins – “Inanimate Carbon” Rod (2)
Goalie Loss – Jamie B (8-4-2, GAA of 2.07)
Poutine – John C x2 (4), Mike “I really hope we got the name right” Pelt (4), Brian “Recently got a haircut” Sulli (5)
Goalie Win – Teddy (2-0, GAA of 2)
Game Notes: If you’re a fan of the water (who isn’t if they live in the NY Metro?) and up for some seafood on your curds, Garde Manger in Old Montreal is known for its Lobster Poutine.
Quick Shifts: Casilli looked like Casillas out there as Jerome might say, looking to be in champions league like top drawer footy hockey form with two snipes early in this game….Sulli is now not only rocking a new do but a 3 game goal scoring streak….Walker was a minus 2 early, but good thing they play – oh nevermind, don’t look at next Sunday’s game, it might not get any better.
Kai 3 @ Karma 2 (F/OT)
CK –Liam (8), Rachel “I’ll just tie it up late and then score a not quite controversial OT winner” Longley x2 (2)
Goalie Win – Campbell “the W stands for Win” Weaver (10-0-2, GAA of 1.08)
IK – “S”Cory V (5), Brianna V (5)
Goalie OT Loss – Steve F (3-6-1)
Game Notes: Looking ahead to 2019 after such a controversial goal to end this game, Friedman’s presser after the game went a little like this.
Quick Shifts: When told that CK won in OT, our CK beat reporter asked if the final score was 3-2, (since we know they haven’t let in more than that, sans shootouts, all season). Campbell was reportedly shocked (where is that Photo from the OCMD Crab Shack when you need it?) when we got it spot on, but what else is new?
Trending: Outside of Week 4 (Brianna) and Week 5 (Cory), Brianna and Cory have markers in the same games, respectively – weeks 2, 3, 11, and 15 are no anomaly!
Filthier 3 @ Butchers 1
Filthier – OP James x2 (13), Sunny (14)
Goalie Win – Tim K (12-3, GAA of 1.80)
Butchers – SUPER DAVE (3)
Goalie Loss – Ed P via Gut Rot BITZES an approved League Sub?
Game Notes: SUPER (fka Fast) Dave hit thirty speed on Sunday. (American English LINK)
Quick Shifts: If we had a segment going over the errors in our posts, we’d note that we had Tim for win 10 twice last week and that he was 11-3 and now 12-3, hence the inconsistency between write ups.
Sky Fighters 2 @ Corlears Hookers 0
Sky – James McQ (8), Amanda A via FA (1)
Goalie Shutout Win – OG James (3-8-1, 2nd Shutout)
Goalie Loss – Dustin (5-5-1, GAA of 2.17)
Game Notes: RNV noted that there was a foot in the crease calling back a goal for the Hookers, not that you wouldn’t have heard about that already! #FactualNews
Tweets of the Week
Bobby Luu gets a feature for Week 15, well not really a true feature as we could never do his great social media work any justice on this BTSH “segment”. #DoubleClick
Week 17 Previews – Part 2
Friday, August 10th, 2018Attention: the L train is not operational this weekend in Manhattan and parts of Brooklyn. For those of you that rely on this train to get to the courts, please research alternative routes and budget additional travel time in order to arrive before your game.
Gremlins at Fresh Kills
by Jess (apparently the resident haiku master) D
Gremlins
Sad Poutine beat them
Even more sad Erich left
Rod scored the lone goal
In last week’s decimation
New player Courtney
Could possibly give them life
Which is shocking cuz
Walker hates milennials
Plz score you guys thx
Fresh Kills
A truly strong team
Check out some of these players
Gabe switched to defense
Nicole can kill anyone,
arm wrestling champ
Sheena deadlifts more than Gabe
Canadians suck
Oh yeah back to street hockey
This team is scary
Prediction:
Wallowing Gremlins
Vs Unstoppable Fresh Kills
Fresh Kills win 4-1 (more…)
Week 17 Previews – Part 1
Thursday, August 9th, 2018Attention: the L train is not operational this weekend in Manhattan and parts of Brooklyn. For those of you that rely on this train to get to the courts, please research alternative routes and budget additional travel time in order to arrive before your game.
Denim Demons at LBS, Inc.
by Chairwoman Rachel and Cheekbones
The Demons may want a pound of flesh but they’ll be hard-pressed to take down the 2018 suped up version of the Lbs. Lbs are a good team that occasionally flirts with their dirty side but strive to listen to the good angel on their shoulder(or good show tunes in some cases). That angel’s name is Ali. Let this be written…maybe the first time anyone has called Ali an angel. The girls wears rings with skulls. Will the Demons drag them down into a more physical game? Potentially. Will Ali threaten people with her skull rings? Probably. Let’s keep the ice packs nearby, and maybe a leather strap to bite on. I can set a leg in a pinch (I’ve seen it done on the Grey’s Anatomy when their plane crashes in the woods).
Scotty keeps to himself but if you can get him to open up he’ll tell you a little about how he feels, particularly that he’s psyched to return to, and survive, prom this year.
Demons have only caught 3 W’s so far this season. We are predicting the 4th isn’t going to happen this Sunday.
Aside: I know we are only supposed to talk about BTSH in this, but Roberts demonstrated some solid hand shaking sportsmanship on Tuesday night, and also, happy this didn’t happen.
L Train Shutdown Fears
Three Stars of Week 16
Tuesday, August 7th, 2018
by Jess (not pronouncing the ‘ica’ is non-negotiable) D
Third Stars
Mike Yetter from the Rainbows and ScottyK from the LBS
Scotty racing off to earn one of his three biscuits and Yetter basking in the warm glow of the Rainbows.
This week’s 3rd star is shared between non-original ScottyK and M Yetter-Lendo. Scott scored a hat trick against the Rehabs (cry about it, Hicks), but who gives a fuck and/or shit about that because Yetter aka Tia’s illegitimate younger brother scored 2 goals in the RAINBOWS 2ND VICTORY THIS SEASON AGAINST GUT ROT (#bowistpropaganda). Also Yetter bought the victory beers after because an un-named baby faced member of the Rainbows didn’t have their ID and would have definitely gotten carded, so he gets 3/4 of this star. (more…)
Around the League – Week 16
Sunday, August 5th, 2018
by Arya Stark
The Rainbows picked up a rousing 5-2 victory over Gut Rot behind Cat Chang’s first of the season and two goals more from Yetter (aka Tia’s little bro). As you might expect, they were pretty jazzed about it.
The Biters picked up a hard fought 3-1 victory of the Fresh Kills. Asked to comment Schuie said “we won.”
Not content to have one game in the hot sun, the Biters then completed the rained out game against Fuzz from a few weeks ago which Fuzz won 4-1. Some bad blood over Fuzz’s decision to use a free agent when they had seven guys although I personally wasn’t aware there was any regulation against using free agents even if you have six lines of forwards.
Not content to have one game full of bad blood, Fuzz then beat Math 3-1 in a contest which featured Sam almost murdering Rich. Alas, maybe next time. Also no word on if everyone from Fuzz made their softball games.
The Demons picked up a 3-1 decision over the Riots with Anshu super pumped less about the win and more that she didn’t have to play an overtime.
The LBS used a four goal second half to beat the Rehabs 6-2. ScottyK picked up his second hat trick in two games against the Rehabs this season while Hicks’ gambling problem has him well on his way to owing me a bottle of Fireball.
Mega shut out What The Puck 2-0 behind a major league effort from Tuckman in net.
Karma came back and tied Cobra Kai late in regulation, but it was the dojo who had the last laugh as Rachel buried her second of the game early in OT. A foot may have been in the crease but much like in 1999, no one seemed to care.
Poutine played a smart defensive game and buried the Gremlins 4-1. Most of the sideline chatter was about how Rockoff will probably come back from Australia talking like a wanker.
Filthier rode dominant performances from James and Tim to a victory over the Butchers.
Finally, the Sky Fighters pulled the upset of the day with a 2-1 win over a mostly full strength Hookers team. No word on if Cro feels this performance was indicative of “rigged system” or just “sad.”
