btsh.org

by Jess (sorry)

Cat and Rich are once again out and I’m trying to fill their shoes to no avail. I’ll try to make up for it by including everyone’s favorite, NOT STARS. 

Third Star: Phil (WTP)

“Hot Phil”, as his team referred to him, scored a hat trick which in itself is impressive but against the Hookers with some of their fresh talent (and old talent – hi Danillo) makes it even more impressive. Also at least 2 of his goals were unassisted. Sorry to blow up your spot Phil but the people need to know who to watch out for.

Second Star: The Riots

The Riots held a 1-1 game against the top team in d4 (Sky Fighters) and were able to take it to and win it in LOLshootouts.

First Star: Craig (Biters)

You don’t get an ‘extraordinary feats in goaltending’ award named after you without your own extraordinary goaltending. Craig stood on his head against Fuzz and it helped his team hand them a nice fat L. The true game of the day.

HM: The Gremlins for bringing some old school spirit back to this league and bringing tequila shots to the courts

HM: Rachel Greene for playing her first game back from having a baby 3 months ago against The Demons (I don’t even want to play them as NOT a new mother).

HM: ~Me~ because I scored 2 goals in my game and if anyone is mad at me for writing about myself please don’t confront me because I don’t handle confrontation well and might cry.

HM: All of the brand new refs for the day (Ellie, Courtney, Akhil).

NOT STARS

Third Not Star: Jerome for a goal celebration that was less-than-inspiring. I thought you were a football fan? Do more!!!

Second Not Star: On the opposite end of the spectrum, Hicks for a goal celebration that I wish I never saw and would like to never see again (it was inspired by a scene from The Proposal). Do less!!!

First Not Star: ALEX EM AND TASH FOR JACKING OUR BRAND AND DESIGNING NEON PINK SHIRTS FOR MEGA TOUCH’S ‘ALTERNATE’ JERSEYS. You’ll be hearing from The Rainbows’ lawyers!!!!

By Friends of Meg & Sully

As many of you already know, this Sunday will feature Sully (aka BSA) and Meg’s (aka The Meguum) last BTSH games.

While it’s always sad saying goodbye to two friends, teammates, and captains (in this league and beyond), Sully and Meg, it’s been an absolute ride hanging with you both in NYC. Thank you for all the memories, laughs, and good times. I can’t wait to visit you both in Denver soon. Hopefully they have decent Alfredo sauce—for everyone’s sake.

Here are some other folks who have some parting words for these two beauts: 

Mikey: “Sully the embodiment of a Poutiner. Impossible to replace on and off of the court. His passion for the game, his teammates and his friends is off the charts and unmatched. I’ve been so lucky to have him as a friend for nearly a decade since I joined Poutine and I’m going to miss him dearly. Couldn’t be happier for him and Meg they’re perfect together and wishing them the best in Denver.”

Dicky: “Not even exaggerating, the only reason I ever actually played on a Sunday.”

McQuade: “The New York City hockey world won’t be the same without Meg and Sully. Seems like just yesterday I introduced Sully to the Poutine team through a weekend in Ocean City filled with unlimited Bud Lights, zero sleep, and his first ever Hockey Beach championship. Back in the city I brought him to his childhood house in Brooklyn, upstate to go skiing, and on countless beer-filled adventures in Manhattan. I can’t thank him enough for all he has done and the memories we’ve made. 

In more serious news, Meg brought me to my first ice hockey team in Chelsea which included my worst ever loss—about 21-2—and made me question my hockey future. She is one of the best female hockey players I’ve ever seen but an even better friend and person. It sucks to see them go but I’m so happy for you both and know that our adventures won’t stop just because they’re moving across the country. Krista and I hosted them on their trip out to Denver and this is proof so we can come bother them in the near future when we want to visit (at least that part is true about mine and Sully’s relationship). 

There’s no community like the street hockey community which is something I never pictured myself saying before I moved to Manhattan, and Sully played a huge role in getting me involved at the beginning. Miss you guys already but thanks for all that you’ve done!”

Charlotte: “Start a Denver league. Poutine didn’t disband, we’re just relocating.”

Frey: “I’ll never forget the first time I laid eyes on Sully.  The year was 2016, had short hair and appeared to be blackout drunk.  Someone told me he was “on Poutine” which sounded like the nickname for some drug I hadn’t heard of.  I don’t think he liked me very much.

I’ll never forget the first time I laid eyes on Meg.  She tried to ice someone at the D5 rookie party, hid an ice in her shirt, then fell over herself, causing the ice to fall out and giving the planet maybe the first self-icing that has ever happened.  Then she asked me for an over/under on how long of a kegstand she could do and I went with like 15 seconds which felt pretty generous tbh.  She went for 20 and was very proud of herself.  Less than an hour later she was violently throwing up in Jack’s soup pot and had to be escorted home immediately.  Despite that I still gave her female rookie of the year for that season.  Somehow, that pot remains in use at the patio to this day.  And as you may have guessed, the gentleman who escorted her home and made sure she didn’t just pass out on 2nd ave (which probably would have happened tbh) was none other than Sully.  Now on Saturday nights they watch random game shows and order insomnia cookies.  How far they’ve come.

The hockey world will truly be losing two legends of sport as they move to Colorado.  Many of us will be losing two great friends.  A select lucky few will be losing two great enemies.  In any case, best of luck on this new adventure.  I will pray for your souls and the state of your kitchenware.”

Jack: “You can run but you can’t hide. Also please spend the extra money to get a couch with some decent sleepability.”

Pagsy: “Without Brian, I would have never been a part of the crazy community that is NY ball hockey. I’m grateful for the email all those years ago asking to play for a weirdly named team with a bunch of lunatics. Congrats to him and Meg on their engagement and best of luck to them in Denver where I’m sure he’s already scouring the free agent lists for his next ball hockey league.”

Filthier v Cobra Kai

Jim Apple: Has Russ let himself go since becoming a married man?? Cobra Kai has been struggling since the wedding and a devastating week 6 loss has many critics wondering if we are witnessing the downfall of the Dojo. Filthier beat the Vertz earlier this year so through the transitive property, this spells trouble for Cobra Kai. Prediction: 5-1 Filthy, Commissioner Russ complains and fires 2 referees. 

Cristothehawk: Sure, all the dudes on Cobra Kai might be old and washed up and engaged/married now (read: Russ, Yetter, Will) but don’t count out #ladiesnight with LJ, Sienna, Charlotte (unless Probie makes her go to another wedding – CHAR, BLINK IF YOU NEED HELP), and Brita. Also why not, let’s throw Liam some love since Russ hasn’t been campaigning for him to get media attention at all this season. My point is I think this will be a lot closer than my colleague Jim thinks and The Dojo will win 3-2. 

Hookers v WTP

Hornswoggle: Two squads with identical records are seemingly sitting ducks in the same division having scrounged the same amount of points through 6 games. However, the 2-3-4 spots are similar to musical chairs, and you may as well add the last spot (Vertz, depending on their result against Karma) to the mix, meaning no team is safe. This division is the “group of death” in some respects.

This is a rematch game, though—Puck crashed back to earth with a 5-2 loss to the Hookers in Week 5 after besting first division Anklebiters in a 3-1 melodrama in Week 4. All things considered, both Lee and Hoggystyle have been great at the helm for their respective teams, but Zac may feel extra motivated to spur on Henry and the rest of Puck to leave it all on Tompkins (despite the predicted high temps and dew points). My prediction is that Puck takes the two points in extra time. It is a 1pm game so remember to hydrate when necessary!

CATT: that’s a lot of hockey chatter. Here’s the non-hockey preview: WTP has a team dog (or a Cat by the Ron Swanson metric of “any dog under 50 pounds is a Cat”). I have never seen any of the hookers with a dog at the courts. That doesn’t mean they don’t have one, but it does mean they are selfishly withholding one if they have it. We hate that. WTP comes from behind to win because the little chihuahua gives a very inspiring speech at halftime. 3-2 WTP.

Fuzz v Anklebiters

Jess: I told Rich that Fuzz was like the Yankees in that they won too many championships and now it’s boring for everyone to watch. As a lifelong Mets fan, he was understandably upset and requested I compare Fuzz to the 1986 Mets instead. But if I’m being honest, the Biters are more like the 1986 Mets than Fuzz. Scrappy and talented underdogs who party a bit too hard (at Congee Village)— a real team of the people. Let’s hope this game doesn’t break the previous BTSH shootout record. 

Prediction: Biters 2-1. 

Glnzr: 

Prediction: Jess is going to be shocked when she does research of the 1986 season and realizes the Mets finished 108-54, killed the Yankees in attendance and was one of the most dominant teams of all time. Fuzz gets revenge for Opening Day and wins 4-2. 

Dingle: NYC is the Mets’ town when they’re good. Fight me in the comment section.

Jess: I KNOW THE 1986 METS WERE AMAZING BUT ALSO THEY ARE SCRAPPY PARTIERS LIKE THE BITERS STOP MAINSPLAINING BASEBALL TO ME.

Gremlins v Bad Seeds

Jess: There seems to be not a lot of parity in the 3rd division with Poutine/Mega on top, Demons in the middle, and the Gremlins/Butchers solidly on the bottom. The Gremlins won their only game against the Butchers when Erich was back in town and The Bad Seeds are faring better in league rankings with 6 points to the Gremlin’s paltry 2. This game is a toss up but I think the Seeds have the edge. Great goalkeeping can only get you so far and the Seeds seem to be clicking more on offense. Prediction: Seeds take it 2-0. 

JW: Both teams could not be more excited that this is the annual Chodown (while I generally hate puns, I have always accepted this one out of love for both players/teams) which was a longstanding tradition between Gut Rot (who had T. Cho)  and the Gremlins (who have C. Cho), and is now a continued tradition with the Bad Seeds. There will be wagers, there will be tequila flowing like water during gameplay, Marcella vs. Rob in a husband/wife battle, Diane and Zach playing together in a husband/wife non-battle, probably beer chugging contests, side bets (Kirky has challenged me to a +/- bet), and surely plenty of other hijinks. Followed by an afterparty with the two teams. If any of the new kids are curious to see what BTSH used to be like, you may want to watch this one. 

Prediction: No prediction as I am reffing this game. (The new kids also don’t get this Eli/Derek reference.)

Agents v Rainbows

Steven: Having reffed the Agents’ game last week, I’m compelled to give some love to Jacob who played goalie for Agents. Holy shit, this guy was a freak. I can try to guess the number of saves Jacob made but can’t count that high, so let’s just settle on “mad saves.” At the same time, the rest of the Agents continue to grow and get used to the tough confines of Tompkins. While I think the Agents are a long play the Rainbows are in win now mode, except without the wins. Rainbows get Jess back and a reprieve in their tough schedule on Sunday, 3-1.

Glnzr: Greenwald is the Agents regular goalie and let’s just be honest here. He wants this game bad. At his best, Greenwald can play some really good hockey. I haven’t seen one game for the Agents but with the Rainbows beating the Sky Fighters I can’t see them losing this game. 4-1. Though I’ll be rooting really hard for Greenwald. 

Lbs v Fresh Kills

Steven: doubt either team shows up, and even if they do, not close to giving a shit. End result: forfeit

Glnzr: I hope both teams show up. It’s a really tough one to call. Louis and Gabe are an incredible 1-2 punch on D and when Ariel is your 3rd D, you’re friggin good. They have a bunch of players who would be most teams best players. Meg is the best woman in the league and will open up space for the other FK players.

The Lbs. might actually have better top end talent with Sam and Avery but it’s obviously close. Lbs. don’t have the depth FK does but they make up for it with super intensity when they’re all there. Liz will cover Gabe and be effective at doing it. Like every other game in BTSH it comes down to attendance, but if both teams show, I like FK 3-2. 

Steven: actually, best of luck to Meg who is moving out of state after this game. We will miss you.

Vertz v Karma

Hicks: Guaranteed vertz win. Minimum goal differential of 4. ????

Hornswoggle: Karma decimated WTP in what we could consider the beginning of a farewell tour for the starlets in the club, AK and Derek. They were the only goal-scorers in that matchup. I’ve been trash-talking Vertz (read: Jack) and have been correct for a majority of my predictions. But a surprise victory against The Dojo was not a thought worth conceiving before last Sunday, yet here we are. You can probably thank Ramy for that.

In this divisional clash I expect nothing other than a barnburner, and you know what: what goes around, comes around, Karma. The top spot is still up for grabs and the thought of the (Per)vertz taking it gives Hicks an election… to handily win, of course. +4 differential might be a stretch but neutralizing the Karma offensive is still a tall order, albeit doable.

Hicks: make it +5. As of now (Wednesday 10am) there appears to be rain in the forecast which makes me wonder why karma repeatedly dodges games against the vertz..

Jim Apple: Pretty straight forward prediction here, everyone is thinking it. 

• AK no call no shows. Claims to be too hungover from dinner at margaritaville. In all reality, just licking his wounds from the night before after getting denied by a blonde while waiting in line for the halal cart.
• Sean and his good buddy Ramy combine for 3 points. 
• Derek, tanning on a beach, won’t be able to make it. 
• Braun, walking his dog, won’t be able to make it. 
• Jack, gets sunburnt, doesn’t backcheck.
• Hicks, ate Taco Bell, doesn’t feel good. 
• Annie, set to sub for the Vertz, quits at the last minute to sub for Karma instead and scores. 
• Vertz win 4-1, 2 empty netters. 
• Isaac, cries. 

Butchers v Demons

Jess: Can the Butchers please do something scandalous so we stop writing mildly nice things about them in the previews every week? Thanks. Also @ Rachel & Art time to come back I think your kid can crawl now you can leave him at home for a few hours on a Sunday. Amit has been written about in 3 stars twice this season so much like my strategy with Westley from Sky Fighters, I’m going to stop talking about him entirely since he’s so good. Prediction: Demons win 4-1, D-Ro with at least one assist and one complaint when Around the League doesn’t acknowledge it.

JW: After the Demons’ narrow loss at bar trivia last night to [redacted] they’ll be itching for a win this Sunday. The Butchers are still looking for that first win, but they are a far better team than their record shows. They have a lot of good players, but just need to put it all together. They have also struggled with some attendance issues. (Do Rachel and Arthur even live in Brooklyn anymore??) If they all show up, I believe they can hang with any team. 

The Demons struggled early but are finding their stride. But, can they keep it going against a determined Butchers crew?

Come for the flurry of confusing red/pinkish/maroon jerseys, stay for the potential upset. 

Prediction: If this was a trivia match between these two teams it would be just as tough for me to call as a hockey game between them. Nonetheless, the Butchers get their first win of the season, 3-2. Brady with the game winner. 

Mega Touch v Poutine

Steven: Mega is terrifying. Jeff scored five last week and Eric scored two. Julie played the entire game and Tuckman is a brick wall. On the other hand, we have a bunch of soggy French fries. In a strange parallel universe, these soggy fries are winning hockey games. Last time these teams played Mega was hit by an avalanche of gravy, but not this time. Mega crisps Poutine 3-2.

Dingle: For anyone sticking around on Sunday, this will be Sully’s last game in BTSH (barring him and Meg returning back to NYC down the road). Sully, I know you don’t read these, but you were a great captain, a great player, and a great friend. You’ll be missed and can’t wait to grab a Colorado beer with ya soon. 

Regarding the actual hockey being played, watch out Mega, because it’s hard to imagine Poutine not rallying around the goodbye tour to win this one. Prediction: The Poutine OGs deliver: Sully, Mikey, Pagsy, Jerome, and JoJo all end up on the score sheet and Poutine edges Mega, 5-4.

23andMia: Sully was supposed to be my legacy in this league. Never thought I would outlast him. Don’t know what the future holds for his “last” game, but in life, I’m predicting good things!

Steven: As someone who may or may not be considered a fierce rival (or former fierce rival) of Poutine, I want to congratulate Sully on a great career. It was really fun playing against you and the Pouts. We had a great little rivalry but always appreciated your friendship.

Riots v Sky Fighters

Steven: Game of the week, hands down. The momentum is clearly on the Riots’ side. First, Riots had a statement shutout last week. Second, it’s hard to beat a team twice. Third, the Sky Fighters showed a little weakness in a LOLShootout loss to the Rainbows. 

But those who count out Emily and Company are doomed. The Fighters beat back a surging Riots 3-2 in anticipation of the Pirates of the Caribbean party they are hosting with Karma after next weeks game. #hypetrain

Jess: The Sky Fighters are going to be hungry for a win after a narrow loss last week while the Riots are coming off their second highest-scoring game of the season racking up 5 goals against The Bad Seeds. I’m inclined to think this game will go to OT thanks to an emboldened Riots team and a slightly rattled Sky Fighters, with the Sky Fighters winning in the end.

by Glnzr

It was a wonderful week for 10 teams in BTSH, and a miserable week for the other 10. So to the Butchers, WTP (yikes guys), Agents, Ariel and Fresh Kills,  Gremmies, Bad Seeds, Sky Fighters, Anklebiters (Another yikes), and Hookers, you’ll find no salvation here. May the lord have mercy on your collective souls because the teams that beat you didn’t.

Third Star: Ramy
The Commissioner of Sads, Tim Cheveldae FanGirl, Gunthr Disrespecter, a BTSH and D5 Champion and all around very average man may have bumped up his stock. While the Vertz gave Hicks his record 3rd Off-Season-Championship,actual wins on the court have been few and far between for the Vertz. But Hicks set off the Beta Signal and Ramy answered with two goals and an assist, to beat the two-time finalists Cobra Kai. 
Well done Ramy. 

Second Star: Amit

The Most Underrated Player in BTSH Amit had himself a game. Two huge goals and a big assist to none other than Tracy M. led the Demons to a hard fought victory over the Butchers. And I also want to give a shoutout to Brad. With the Demons up 4-1 and around 15 seconds left, Brad had a lot of room to go to the net and take a shot. Instead he kept the ball to himself and then dumped it harmlessly to run out the clock. A rare act of sportsmanship in BTSH, where the winners usually try to runrule their defeated opponent. Well done, Brad. (Though it should be noted he also had delusions of grandeur when he took a full on slap shot and lied to the refs face saying his stick was below his knee.)

First Star: Karl

The Rainbows handed the Sky Fighters their first loss of the season in a shootout. Karl scored the game winner as well as adding one in regulation. You know…for us white men in our 40s life has been very hard. It’s good for one of us to finally be recognized for our accomplishments. Good job, Karl! 
And now the Rainbows finally have more points than the Agents. Until next week??? Tune in to the previews to find out what will happen before their actual game is played. 

Honorable Mentions:

Congrats to “Crack” on Fuzz for limiting FK to one goal in your first BTSH game.

Also Caitlin, Faz and Eva went toe to toe with Gabe, Louis, George and the others and came out on top. 

Jeff and Derek had 5 goals for Mega/Karma. I feel that should really be not only star worthy, but first star worthy. I’ve turned into Cat. I just hope everyone had fun. 

Boylan literally can’t count past 3 and thought the Lbs. won 3-0 and not 5-0. But she is very pretty. Not BTSH HOF pretty like Julie, but still…very pretty.

With Media participation a bit light this week—let’s blame it on 4th of July hangovers, and not writing fatigue (it’s only Week 6, guys!!)—may I present a half-version of Which Nautical Creature Are You?

Demons v Butchers

Based on the Demons’ reputation, the only fitting sea creature would be the dolphin. Sure, the dolphin may seem cute and cuddly, but don’t even get me started on the hell dolphins raise in the ocean. Devils they are. 

The Butchers on the other hand are the Goliath Grouper. Massive in size, these slow-moving forces of nature, can live up to 100 years old. By no means am I calling the Butchers old, but rather, if you let your guard down around them, they’ll pack a powerful punch and take you down. 

Hockey Prediction: Butchers put up a good fight, but Demons pull out the win, 4-2

Karma v WTP

Dingle: My comment from a few weeks ago still stands. I feel like Karma and WTP play each other every week. Karma’s coming off a surprising loss last week. I guess Creeden’s presence was felt more on the beer-depletion side than the hockey-playing side. 

With the smell of blood in the water from Karma’s first loss of the season, expect WTP to come out guns blazin’ with a chance to tie Karma in the Division standings. 

Prediction: Karma re-group, and with a dominant performance by Steve, win 5-1

Mega Touch v Agents

JW: After Week 1 this would have been a classic “stop, stop, he’s already dead” situation. But have the Agents……turned a corner? Speaking of Week 1, I played Mega Touch Week 1 and their relentless forecheck, hustling, and stifling defense were…….well, stifling (I never took any writing classes, ok?). If Greenwald and his secret Agents (secret in that no one knows who they are) can pace with Mega they may just have a chance to pull the upset. 

Prediction: The Agents cannot pace with Mega, and Julie’s V-neck and jorts crew run all over the opposition, 6-2.

Fresh Kills v Fuzz

JW: I saw that last week Gabe and Ariel were both present for FK, causing all the Vertz to (verbally) lament “another 1-goal loss”. This pandemic has really messed with my sense of time – is Gabe’s daughter old enough to play in the league yet? That could really give FK a boost here. Also, what generation are kids her age, anyway? Like, what comes after Z?? Ehh, it doesn’t matter, we all know how I feel about every generation that comes after X. Oops, this was supposed to be a hockey preview. At this point I’ll just go straight to the prediction.

Prediction: Gabe and Ariel show again, and hand Fuzz their first loss of the season. Let’s say…3-2. 

Hornswoggle: Fuzz already lost a game considering they collectively skipped one of their own games just to watch ECF Game 3—the Rangers lost that game (and all the games following it, unfortunately)! I have Fresh Kills riding high even through the Independence Day break, but it doesn’t go undisturbed by Fuzz’s terrifying consistency on the court. You’ll see talent up and down the roster of both teams, but I, like JW, honestly think the youth will prevail here, despite how merciless it is between the Tompkins asphalt, Mylec balls, and amateur athletes (or former professional ones, for the most part). Kills push Fuzz to their first recorded loss of the season, but by just.

Glnzr: What’s weird is during Fuzz’ dynasty, we never played FK in the playoffs. Last year we played an awesome regular season game vs. them to give them their first loss with their new guys. Can’t wait to give them another L. 

Cobra Kai v Vertz

Naturally the Dojo’s snake logo on their pinnies has them pegged as the Moray Eel. This snake-like beast is mostly found in saltwater, but some species have been known to live in freshwater. 

I don the Vertz the Australian Giant Cuttlefish entirely because of this bit I found online, “a creature with a huge brain, three hearts, creepy eyes, and a propensity for orgies.” If I know my team, that’s gonna get them fired up ahead of our game. 

Hockey Prediction: Frey considers joining the Vertz after reading this summary, and a back and forth affair ends with a Vertz shootout victory

Poutine v Gremlins

Not exactly a “sea” “creature”, but Poutine is Jacques Cousteau because…French. One of the pioneers of sea exploration, Poutine have had a similar path exploring their own success so far this season with a record of 4-1.

Gremlins are the Blob Sculpin because I want Walker to read about this unique creature in case it appears as a trivia question some time soon (or not so soon). 

Hockey Prediction: Poutine romp the Sculpins, 5-0. 

Bad Seeds v Riots

Hornswoggle: Both sides here are looking for a bounce back, so hunger on the court will be evident in this matchup. Neither loss in the previous week can be considered tragic for either team, but I’m sure all players in both teams were disappointed in the results. Well, chin up, rest, and recover: because for both sides once again, this matchup is winnable for either. But, who’s hungrier? Both teams have a trajectory of winning their respective divisions, and that means they have to rake in every point possible. While I think Mega has a more comprehensive side and will likely win, the tenacity the Riots have shown in 2022 is more apparent than in past years. And personally I am a Vanck fan, even after his 15 minutes of fame in The Amazing Race, so I’m rooting for him to score a goal or at least be a chance creator. He’s my protege so when I hang up my street Mercurials after a long career I’ve got a continuing legacy.

23andMia: I’m confused how Mega ended up in your preview @Hornswoggle. Are they so good they don’t even have to be in the game to win? (I can hear Alex EM’s voice now: “Yes. The answer is yes.”)

Sky Fighters v Rainbows

Hornswoggle: The second of a home-and-home matchup could have one of two results: the Skyfighters (y’all can’t stop me) will pad their stats including their record, or the Rainbows will deal the only true undefeated team’s first recorded season loss in a miraculous sequence of events. The players in navy have narrowly won each of their games, but they’ve won through attrition—even against Filthier in Week 2. Rainbows will have learned and reflected from their loss last game and turn the energy up in order to exact revenge. I think Aneury may well be the catalyst for it. Footwork to bamboozle, and sprint speed that is unmatched in the league: give him more opportunities to finish and he will do it consistently—that’s a promise. That said, the Rainbows will just edge out the Skyfighters in the 50-minute duel.

Filthier v Hookers

After much debate and discussion amongst the Media, Filthier hath been deemed, the Yellowfin Tuna. Fun lil fact about Yellowfin—they can grow up to 6ft and 400 lbs, and swim 50mph. 

And after no debate or discussion, Hookers are Lions. Because it gives me a reason to post this incredible scene from The Other Guys. 

Hockey Prediction: Filthier edge out Hookers 4-3. 

Lbs v Anklebiters

For an area as expansive as the ocean, I’m running out of sea creatures. 

Lbs. are Catfish solely because of Caitlin’s love of cats. That’s all I’ve got.

Would it be too much of a layup to have Anklebiters be Dogfish? Yes, but idgaf. Yes, a dogfish is a real animal, and no, it does not look anything like a dog. 

Hockey Prediction: If Probie plays, 2-1 Anklebiters. If he’s at wedding #153 of the year, Lbs. win 3-1.