Archive for the ‘League Notes’ Category
Age of Idiocy: The Untold Story of BTSH’s Rogue Media, One Years Later
Monday, March 19th, 2018In 2017, an ace team of crack reporters covertly assembled under conditions of extreme personal danger. Rising above the abject squalor known as “journalism”, they brought down a government, challenged societal norms, and demoralized an entire community. Now for the very first time it’s time to tell their unabridged, unexpurgated, and underfactual tale, in:
2016 Schedule Released!
Tuesday, March 15th, 2016The surest sign that spring is only a few days away? The release of the 2016 BTSH schedule, of course!
Our schedule does not look nearly as pretty as the NFL schedule. It also does not have any primetime or weekday night games…yet.
Opening Day:
The season opens on April 3, but you already knew that, because you read our post last week about Opening Day. What’s that? You didn’t? Sigh, we’ll wait for you to catch up, Georgine. Okay, all good now? Moving on…
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2016 Opening Day Schedule
Monday, March 7th, 2016Get excited! Opening Day 2016 is less than four weeks away*!
The Mets also open the season on April 3.
- Fuzz makes their highly anticipated debut, and while the Tuques would have made for the perfect opponent, they have been in the league’s alumni section for years. So behind door number two, its…the Corlears Hookers. Can Richie’s new team exceed expectations and pull off an Opening Day upset, like the Elves did in 2008?
- The Sky Fighters are playing in their first game without former captain Dan Hopper and have also moved up a division. So it’s probably a good thing that they avoided Fresh Kills to start off the season. The Denim Demons weren’t as lucky.
- The Gremlins and Poutine Machine switched divisions for this season, so we’re giving them the other non-divisional game of the day. And since it is a later game, we’re sure that Jamie will have already subbed as a goalie for a couple of other teams and John Walker will be upset about games running late because Jamie needed multiple water breaks.
Read on for the full Opening Day schedule (court assignments TBD)…
Playoff Seeds Announced!
Monday, September 28th, 2015We Almost Needed To Use A Sword Fight As A Tiebreaker
This could be Rich on Sunday!
From The Vault
Wednesday, July 22nd, 2015Emeritus Note: On Sunday, the Happy Little Elves beat Mega Touch for their first victory of the season. To help celebrate such a momentous event, we decided to remind everyone of the last time the Elves ended a long regular season losing streak. This post was originally published on April 28, 2009.
The Elves’ Fan Base Is Growing
Elves Win! Elves Win! (Seriously)
After several weeks of near misses, the Happy Little Elves finally notched their first regular season win since April 13, 2008, a drought that stretched for 378 days. An early goal by forward Chris O’Neill set the tone immediately, as the Elves cruised to a 3-0 victory over the Unicorns. Goalie Ronald Bettenhauser turned aside every shot he faced, earning the first shutout in Elves history.
With this victory, the Elves continue their relative mastery against teams that have yellow as a uniform color base. They are now 2-1 overall against the Tuques and Unicorns, but 0-17-1-1 against all other teams. As captain Ben Chadwick looks to continue this run of success, he has begun to analyze what went right against the Unicorns. Ironically, he was shocked to discover that the absence of Ben Chadwick might have been the primary cause of their stellar play. As Chadwick is known for keeping a trim roster, it is unclear whether he will leave Chadwick in the lineup for this Sunday’s game.
Despite this win, the Elves did not gain possession of the prestigious (yet imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup in 2009.
