Hall of Fame Class of 2016 – Georgine of the Butchers
November 28th, 2016by Richiehero
There are very few people in this world where if you get into an argument with someone, you know immediately its you, not them. Georgine is one of those people. If you get into an argument with Georgine, you’re wrong, you just are.
Another reason Georgine is a HOFer…Georgine is the nicest American in BTSH. I mean she’s clearly nicer than Schuey and Rubens, so that’s two down. While Sam Norris is a pretty nice guy he’s no Zach Norris, so Sam is eliminated and we can compare her to Zach. Zach is from Cleveland and I’m not really sure where that is so he’s eliminated. So by process of elimination, Georgine is the nicest American. She’s clearly no Corey W but luckily for her, he’s from Canada. (Also if Georgine and Corey got into an argument, please video it, but I have to take Corey’s side I think, but its close).
But seriously, when people talk about the “Spirit of BTSH” I typically want to punch them in the face, because who the fuck are you to tell anyone else what the spirit of how you play should be? Yes, playing clean and not being a dick certainly are BTSH requirements, but why is hustle, loyalty and respect a bad thing? Sorry, I was just texting Hicks and got side-tracked.
The point I am trying to make is that Georgine really plays the game the right BTSH way. She’s friendly, approachable and pretty good at the actual game of hockey. Her career highlight is when she scored a natural hat trick for the Butchers. After the game she was her usual modest self when I asked how she felt and she said, “I thought it was excessive.”
Congrats Georgine!
Appreciation for our 2016 Refs
November 10th, 2016by Diane J-N
As many of you know from us flooding your inbox, either because you’re a current ref, or a friend or captain we’ve harassed to try to get more refs, Zach and I took on the seemingly simple admin task of ref scheduling this season. Little did we know…
The best part of this job? Getting to know our amazing ref crew! These guys and gals are the lifeblood of this league. They keep our games going. They keep us safe. They take a lot of crap but still keep coming out because we need them. In honor of our first ref appreciation night out (and writing this extremely hungover from said night out), we wanted to give a big thank you to these BTSHers and share with the rest of the league some of the awesomeness we have on this squad.
Preliminary shoutouts
This year we had 39 refs from 15 teams – a pretty lean gang to cover 22 slots a week!
We welcomed 14 newbie refs hailing from 9 different teams. We all know Cro (Hookers) jumped in and took on a ton of games; rookie Erich G (Gremlins) also clocked in 10 games this season and Melody (FA) took on 11.5.
Our 2016 season featured 7 lady refs from 5 different teams. Four were newbies, with longtimers Rachel G (Butchers) and Ashley Mc (Gut Rot) coming back for another year with you goons.
Top contributions by team
Most refs per team:
Three way tie for 2nd, Math, Mega and Rehabs with 4 refs each
Winner: league favorite, the Fuzz, with 5 refs this season
Percentage of games reffed per team:
3rd place: Hookers and Rehabs tie at 11% each
2nd place: free agents Newman and Melody account for over 16% of games between just the two of them
1st place: Math handled nearly 20% of games
It’s time to pay your taxes!
Top contributions by individual
We all know the big four refs who you see on your courts week after week, but after them, our three runners up for most games:
#7: Alex Z (Rehabs) with 15 games
#6: Eli (Math) with 16 games
#5: Bob W (Skyfighters) for 17 games. Bob W reffed 4% of our games as the lone ref for Sky Fighters.
And our big four. Many people have asked how much BTSH pays these guys as they consistently step up to ref multiple games a week.
Tied for 3rd: Isaac (Karma) and Sam (Math) both worked 43 shifts this season
2nd place: Cro (Hookers) was one of our first new trainees of the season, and took on 45 games.
1st place: everyone’s favorite, Newman (FA) took on a whopping 59 shifts.
Note that both Sam and Cro worked all but two weeks of the season and Newman and Isaac each missed only one. That’s dedication kids.
Y’all are heroes.*
Gasface Awards
We know it’s no longer a requirement and that’s why we pay our refs more now and yada yada, but c’mon, every team should have one ref in the game. Knowing how hard it is to ref makes you appreciate your refs more. It’s a great way for newcomers to learn our rules, since we all know this game we play is definitely not hockey. 2nd place gasface award goes to the five teams that I challenge to step up next year: Cobra Kai, Riots, Filthier, Fresh Kills, and Lbs.
1st place gasface award: everyone who makes reffing suck. We often hear from potential recruits that they once reffed until a game where X or Y happened. Even I’ve retired to GC over reffing after a team was on the court chirping us about every other call. If you’ve refused to have a certain ref do your game, this is to you. If you’ve been cited for ref abuse, this is for you. If you haven’t been cited but you’ve been a dick to them, this is your award. We’re all adults here and for the most part, we’re friends too. Let’s keep this community top notch.
Three ‘Golden Whistles’ of 2016
Sam: for reminding us that BTSH is really about drinking beer out of a paper bag and keeping these games fun and light. Perhaps our best dressed ref, Sam gets a special shoutout for debuting the de-escalation and ejection color-coded cards.
Isaac: This guy steps up even when he really, really doesn’t want to. One brutally hot summer day Isaac told us early on he just couldn’t be on the courts for his game + the three games he had signed on to ref. After finding a ref to sub in that went to brunch instead, Isaac reffed that game anyway like the hero he is. Also a special shoutout for throwing Gut Rot a penalty shot in the middle of us getting massacred by some friendly competition from Cobra Kai.
Alex Z (Rehabs): have you seen Alex ref? The man comes off a ref shift sweating bullets because he takes it so seriously. He runs up and down the court to keep up with the game and make sure he’s catching everything. There is no other ref like him.
Honorable Mentions:
Alok (Mega): some of you non-refs may think these guys are in it for the big bucks. While we know that is certainly not the case for most of our squad, Alok actually contributes his ref money back to the league.
Thanks!
Derek (Math): for volunteering to ref up to one week before his first child was due to be born. Congrats on the most recent addition to the BTSH family!!
Our semi-finals and finals game refs: Shuey (Biters), Worky (Biters), Sam, Isaac, and Eli. These dudes reffed some tough games and made some hard calls. They were professional and fair in some very heated moments.
Last minute fill ins: in addition to our regular refs who jumped into games last minute, we had a few not so regular refs who were willing to take a game or two when desperation called. Shoutout to Jackie S (Hookers), Cheeky (Mega), Art (Butchers), Chadwick (Karma), Walker (Gremmies), Rachel K (Rainbows), and Mike D (WTP).
Your 2016 Refs
Buy these guys a beer!
Demons: Rubens;
Hookers: Al H, Cro, Jackie S;
Mega: Alex EM, Alok, Hanson, Cheeky;
Rehabs: Alex Z, $h0\/\/t!m3, Bryan W, Eric R;
Fuzz: Rich*, Shaun, Alyssa, Jeff, Brugger;
Butchers: Rachel, Art
Gut Rot: Ashley Mc, Diane
Karma: Isaac, Chadwick
Biters: Worky, Shuey, Probert
Sky Fighters: Bob W
Poutine: BSA
Math: Derek, Eli, Sam, Zach
Gremlins: Erich G, JW
Rainbows: Josh W, Rachel K
WTP: Justin, Dudolevich
FA: Newman, Melody
*Except you Rich. You’re still a heel.
Richie leading by example.
Facing Backwards on 2016 – Part 4
November 4th, 2016Facing Backwards on 2016 is a short series by the media team in which we reflect on the season and what it meant to us. We hope you enjoy. Here’s the final installment. (Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3)
Thank You
Facing Backwards
by Diana ‘Cheekbones’ M.
Facing backwards is a common practice not only in BTSH theme writing, but also in my daily life. For instance, I enjoy facing backwards on elevators, much to the discomfort of my fellow riders. When you don’t break eye-contact, and keep on mouthing “hello” repeatedly, you can really make yourself unforgettable.
I also face backwards when the doctor’s office only has the afternoon appointment available, and I have to weigh in post lunch and a latte. Oh and I don’t have to take off my shoes? I’m a size 9 boot, plus the weight of the knife. I won’t look at the number that comes up. It ain’t right.
I face backwards when riding around in Sam’s car too, because trying to pry the trunk open from the inside is only going to be successful in one direction.
And sometimes I face backwards on Monday mornings. Not only because the mirror is showing me E.T. when he puts the wig on, but because of all the hilarity of the BTSH Sunday. I don’t know what the hell I used to do on Sundays, but it wasn’t this good. Here are the top ten things I see when facing backwards on this season:
10. Tommy and Amy realizing they accidentally landed on the “dirty” version of Summer Lovin’ at the Karaoke Contest
9. Joining the media and getting to see how much love and effort that crew puts into the league, even French Rich.
8. Newman organizing a scrimmage, having an overflow of participants, and not being able to get rid of his perma-grin.
7. Dana’s role in the photo shoot for You’ve Got Male . She committed early and hard.
6. Amy’s contributions to the same piece, especially “Ophelia: what’s the secret to getting married? Amy: Never let him see you poop”
5. Two team trips to Hillsdale, organized by the Donohue’s….one where the entire team fit into a hot tub, and every female refused to sit next to Joe P.
4. Peeing in Coco’s bathroom during a team gathering, seeing the door open, and Craig put Jojo down inside, and then shut the door.
Here’s Jojo!
3. Derek and Eli’s rendition of “I Want it That Way”
2. Teaching Chuck how to shoot
1. All the Anklebiters
The team that dranks together wins together.
Facing Backwards on 2016 – Part 3
November 3rd, 2016Facing Backwards on 2016 is a short series by the media team in which we reflect on the season and what it meant to us. We hope you enjoy. Here’s Part 3. (Part 1 and Part 2.)
BTSH
by D. Perko
If there is one thing BTSH stands for its dedication. Dedication to the sport, to the league, our teams, and each other. There is a certain uniqueness to every thing about this league, it’s so pervasive is almost unbelievable that at some point we were drinking beers in our parents’ basements in some far off town (or Staten Island).
Man and stick happily reunited.
BTSH is pure. Yes, some people or teams (looking at you fart rainbows) may embody the competitive spirit a bit too much, but it’s simply because this league means so much to so many people. Witnessing such passion only begets more enthusiasm for the sport, work, and life in general. Walking into work Monday morning knowing you’re a winner (only experienced it once but it was fucking awesome) make you feel inconceivable.
BTSH is a collective acceptance that we didn’t give up. At the end of every Sunday, beers in brown bags, we silently acknowledge this tried and true tradition of sport. Some may not know others, some perhaps a bit too much, but that will never take away from the fact your never a stranger in BTSH.
BTSH is engaging. Witnessing the unadulterated passion in captains’ meetings and the absolute shit show Facebook page is truly a delight. Moreover, a big shout out to everyone who organizes this league, without you we’d all be face down in our own filth (fart rainbows all the time).
BTSH is you, dear reader. You come out to play every Sunday, no matter the hangover, heat, or homeless human’s turds on the court. You are BTSH.
From the bottom of my heart, I cannot thank you enough for this amazing opportunity to be a member of this league and wish all teams the best of luck next year, because GUT ROT is coming for you!
The league has been put on notice. Perko and Gut Rot are coming for you in 2017!
That Ol’ Time BTSH
by Isaac
After spending a season and a half listening to stories about the ‘good old days’ from league veterans, myself and fellow newbies were finally treated to a couple of those vintage times.
The Parkside Lounge gave us a safe space to celebrate and wallow in our own self-disgustingness that was labeled under the working title of the BTSH Olympics. It featured everything from competitive drinking, boys stripping, hooligans gambling and even two girls sharing a cup. The incident exceeded expectations and it’s going to take a couple of years for some of us to recover from it.
Sunday Funday
Crabfest brought our community together in what felt like a Sunday family dinner or reunion at a very BTSH place. The massive crab table and nearby booths were packed with folks popping open crabs, tearing off limbs, cracking jokes and demonstrating their method for scoring that Maryland deliciousness. Up and down the main bar area it was a mish-mash of BTSHers sloshing back pints and freely carrying on about who knows what. And the ACE bartender and staff welcomed and served us without a moan or a grumble. It felt right being back at a place that actually wanted us to be there.
Taking part in these affairs makes it an honor to be associated with such deviant miscreants as y’all. The rookie class of ‘19 has some mighty big shoes to fill.
Dear Diary
by Sam
Tuesday, July 19th, 2016
Dear mother f*cking Diary!
This summer has been great–ever since not having to be a full-time BTSH journalist, I have been splashing bars and have my life back. The biggest hunk of them all is now the editor-in-chief, and my common law wife down the street has also been writing the previews, too. I don’t know who Ophelia Baulls is, but damn, I really want to meet her. She may even be a better fit for me than Diana Marko, but at times they’re like the same person to me. What a great f*cking year it has been so far. The only way it could get better is if the Fuzz lose and Juerys Familia blows the Mets’ post season for the second straight year because I’ve been preaching about how terrible he is and nobody except Zach listens…
Fire Marshall Sam
Facing Backwards on 2016 – Part 2
November 2nd, 2016Facing Backwards on 2016 is a short series by the media team in which we reflect on the season and what it meant to us. We hope you enjoy. Here’s Part 2. (Part 1 can be found here.)
Dear Diary
by Sam
Wednesday, August 12th, 2015
Dear Diana Diary,
It’s 11:00 pm on Wednesday right now, my day job was hectic today, and I am stuck in my bedroom writing previews… for the 4th straight week. Last week, I can’t believe I only got 7 likes for that 3 hours of work, and 4 of those likes were from former media writers and John Walker. That’s incrementally only 1 like per hour. I hope this week’s games don’t get rained out because the joke about Rich actually being well-endowed would please an audience.
Thursday, September 17th, 2015
Dear Diary,
Last year, I would have been out drinking or at a Mets game right now, but this year, I’m home scraping BTSHers’ Facebook pages at 11:35 pm on a prime drinking night, so that this league can have a few laughs with this week’s previews. I have ran out of all material. All I can come up with are Rich Glanzer jokes, and everyone knows that’s complete fodder. I wonder what Diana Marko is up to right now; I am going to try and get her in the media next year so I can hit on her. Yes, that is a good plan. But, Rich will also hit on her. Is he better looking than me? I know Derek is the best looking Norris, so I am glad he left the media, but this Rich fellow can’t be trusted, and she might be a fan of man arms, which I clearly don’t have…
Sexy and he knows it.
My Lovely Fuzz
by Richiehero
In 2004 I was playing poker and my friend Farrell had on a 2003 Yankees American League Championship hat. It struck me as odd because they lost the World Series, so why would he celebrate that season?
There was a time last season, when I thought it was over for me. I knew I didn’t want to bring back the Elves, and I knew my (lack of) talent wouldn’t make many teams pick me up. But then a funny thing happened. Hicks messaged me saying he wanted to join us, despite the fact that we only had two wins. Jeff messaged me and said he was interested. Coach texted me and wanted to join. A tall girl from Buffalo named Alyssa saw Caroline walking with her stick and inquired about the league. Alexa convinced Jeff that he would love playing with me and Fuzz was born. At this time last year, I couldn’t wait for 2016 to start.
French Rich and the ladies of Fuzz.
And I was not disappointed. Yeah, Fuzz won a ton of games. But I swear to you that isn’t why I loved this season. Unlike the previous 4-5 years with the Elves, we actually went to the bar. A lot. We went to Ocean City and were one of the most social team there, as we didn’t play with ourselves (dammit!), we all joined different teams. We had a team laser tag event, and not surprisingly, Sean DuhLasie won.
On a personal note, nothing makes me happier than Alexa being very jealous at Jeff and my friendship. I taught Hicks how to backcheck, and his mom friended and defriended me on Facebook all on the same night. (Her reasoning was something like, “F*cking Jew”) I’m Alyssa’s legal guardian, and yeah, Steve is literally the ugliest Ice Girl in NHL history. And if you want to talk about improvements…we used to get long winded filibusters from Chadwick that none of us understood. But now Coach sends us a 14-word email that none of us understand. Way better. (No offense Ben, I still love you)
So what does this season mean to me? That I was fucking wrong about Farrell and his 2003 Yankees hat. Yeah, this season didn’t end the way I wanted it to. And to be honest, with so many great teams, a lot of very good teams, some pretty good teams and Instant Karma, I’m not sure it will ever end the way I want it to. But I can’t wait to look forward to see if it will. Because looking back, 2016 wasn’t my favorite ending, but it was my favorite beginning, middle and fuck you Rehabs. Congrats, you totally deserve it. Drink it in man…because Fuzz is a comin’…even if we didn’t get there.
Journey > Destination…but Destination matters.
