BTSH Crabfest is BACK!

September 13th, 2016

by Joe P and Anklebiters Production Crew

scared-crab

‘And we’ll stuff you with bread, it won’t hurt, cause your dead!’

BTSH crabfest is back!  Just like the BTSH Bar Olympics, the Crabfest is coming back after a little hiatus and happening at Ace Bar this Sunday after the games hosted by yours truly.  So if you didn’t get enough crabby goodness in at OC then put your crab face on and head to the bar around 6ish.

joe-p-crab

Spots are limited with only 40 available around one of the tables covered with OLD BAY deliciousness.  Refreshments are starting off at $2 High Lifes.  (YES! – in the voice of the Chairman)  The buy-in for eating is $25 for a healthy portion of #1 Jimmies. While the window may have closed on preordering, I might be persuaded at ACE if you make me an offer I can’t refuse.

craby-set-up

And if you are the last one standing after Julie Katz eating crabs, I’ll buy you a car bomb! You don’t get a free beer if you eat more crabs than Susannah Pasquantonio, because anyone can do that, except Rich Glanzer! The great people at ACE will also have football on the TVs for those who want to catch the evening games.

craby-practice

Some BTSHers are ready for that challenge!

There will also be free pizzas for other BTSHers that want to join to party, but might be allergic to shellfish.

crabbie-goodness

Beautiful mayhem.

Special thanks to the league who is co-sponsoring this to make it an affordable bunch of Maryland awesomeness.

See you on Sunday!

Anonymous Lady’s Three Stars of Week 18

September 13th, 2016

by the lovely Anonymous Lady

Sucks to the Three Stars you may have already posted, Isaac.  Here’s my take on them stars.

THIRD STAR
Team WTP

I have to play two games today? What The Puck?!?

I have to play two games today? What The Puck?!?

Playing two games in a day is never a great situation. And WTP pulled the short straw by having the first game and last game of the day. They were troopers. They pulled together a team for both games while having fun at the courts throughout the day. Mike D. from the team also stepped in to ref a game when we were short.

A shout-out to Demons, Anklebiters and Butchers who also had double hockey fun this past Sunday, as well as the refs and other league members who arrived for the early start.

SECOND STARS
Zach N. (Math) and Diane J. (Gut Rot)

We have reason to believe that this is a group of BTSHer’s.

We have reason to believe that this is a group of BTSHer’s.

This BTSH couple has joined a select group of BTSHers by getting hitched. One BTSH historian estimates that about 5-10 couples that have met on the courts have gotten married.  They reminded us what this league is really about (and it’s not hockey) as league members from across many different teams attended the celebration in Maine.

Congrats to the happy couple! And if the two of you had made it back in time to play in your games it would have been a 1st star.

FIRST STARS
The Comeback Kids

Comeback Kids

Comeback Kids

Sometimes our bodies just don’t let us play hockey and the road to recovery can be long. This past Sunday we saw three players return to the courts – Coco (Anklebiters), Adam (Demons) and Cody (Gremlins). These kids have been waiting to get back to playing and even notched some goals. We’re glad to have the three of you (and anyone else we might have missed) back and wish a speedy recovery to anyone that is still on the mend.

Honorable Mentions:

The refs: with the ref schedulers out of town getting married, many refs (old and new) stepped up to the plate to ensure that the show went on.

Skaterboader Kids (hockey wannabes): These kids created quite a bit of excitement on the West Court and it truly wouldn’t be NYC without them.

Those people that got a hat trick: Hicks, Rush, D’Angelo, Sullivan. We suppose that you played some good hockey.

Three Stars of Week 18

September 13th, 2016

3stars

 

THIRD STAR
The Refs

(Yes, I’m channeling my inner Glanzer and padding myself and fellow refs on the back.)

Worky is working it in 'dem short-shorts.

Worky is working it in ‘dem short-shorts.

With the ref schedulers out of town for a beautiful life-changing event, they brought Richiehero out of retirement to handle the scheduling duties. He was able to rally the ref crew to fill multiple open spots (some at the last minute, literally) and recruit two newbies (Klion and Cheeky, two special gals.). So, an enormous ‘thank you’ to all the refs who stepped up and got the job done on Sunday.

Now go see Rich, he owes you a beer.

SECOND STAR
Brady ‘The Strategist’ of Mega Touch

mega-brady

Always analyzing.

The majority of the Week 18 games were able to start on time Sunday thanks to Brady. It was his quick thinking that overcame a potentially severe delay to the West Court 1 pm game that would have set back the start time for all games like dominoes. Whoever was in charge of ref scheduling had an epic brain fart by scheduling two Megas to ref a game before theirs on the opposite court. Brady proposed either having the 1 pm refs take over the OT duties or subbing in two refs so his Megas could get their game going. That’s the out of the box thinking and compromise that this league needs. Hero.

Also, his lone goal was scored from inbounding the ball from his own goal line. A couple of lucky bounces, maybe, but still that’s impressive.

Oh yeah, and welcome back GUNNER, the Super Raspberry!

FIRST STAR
Cherie from LBS, Inc.
by #Richiepoothang

cherie

Keeping the LBS alive.

Hey guys, I typically don’t nominate someone who scores all the time, but this star is more for Cherie’s attendance. I saw what it took to get her to her game. We were in Maine at Diane and Zach’s wedding. While others had the good intentions to get to their games, Cherie had a plan to definitely make her’s.

Before the wedding on Saturday, she prepared herself for a quick get-a-way on Sunday. When Sunday morning came, she was busy finishing up the packing and ensuring Michelle could get the exact right amount of chill time. She then gave very efficient, but satisfactory and sincere, good-bye hugs.

I don’t know what she did with stops, but they also had to be just as efficient as those hugs since Ben tried to make it to his game and failed miserably. Utterly miserably.

Then she scored a big goal in a win vs. Fresh Kills.  Keeping her team’s hopes alive of 1st place in the Formerly-Known-As Julie Katz Division.

And she also was instrumental in clearing away the skateboarders from the West Court by rolling up her sleeves and flexing that Arm Wrestling Champ muscle on those miscreants. Hero.

Honorable Mention:

by J-Dub: Tia of the Rainbows scored her first BTSH career goal on Sunday against the Riots.  And how did she celebrate?  By putting another biscuit in the basket during the same game.

by the Mother of Candy Corns: AND SO DID MIKE T. OF THE RAINBOWS.

Week 18 Box Scores

September 12th, 2016

img_3894

Denim Demons 4-3 Gouging Anklebiters Final(OT) 
Denim Demons: Adam Rubens (4), Hillel Gross x 2 (4), Seffi Jonas (4)
Gouging Anklebiters: Carrie Read (1), Joseph Polowczuk (5), Alex Derhohannesian (7)
Goalie Win: Peter B. (via Free Agent)
Butchers 4-2 What The Puck Final
Butchers: Arnold Sanchez (3), Peter D’Angelo x 2 (15), Jason Rosenstock (6)
What The Puck: Zach Hogg (via Free Agent), Eric Higger (4)
Goalie Win: Jamie Batuwantudawe (via Gremlins)
Gremlins 4-2 Cobra Kai Final
Gremlins: Cody Capps x 2 (4), Rod Sherwood (2), Ryan Mills (7)
Cobra Kai: Peter Gallina (3), Liam Martens (10)
Goalie Win: Jamie Batuwantudawe (5)
Butchers 7-1 Mega Touch Final
Butchers: James Kinney x 2 (14), Georgine Paulin (4), Peter D’Angelo x 3 (15), Jason Rosenstock (6)
Mega Touch: Brady Caldwell (3)
Goalie Win: David Greenwald (via Free Agent)
Tompkins Square Riots 0-5 Dark Rainbows Final
Tompkins Square Riots:
Dark Rainbows: Rem Garavito Bruhn (6), Bill Ling (14), Mike Toriello (1), Tia Lendo x 2 (2)
Goalie Win: Kevin Longwell (6)
Gouging Anklebiters 5-10 Fuzz Final
Gouging Anklebiters: Sarah Moore (3), Matthew Workman (3), Chuck Defranco (3), Alex Derhohannesian (7), Joseph Polowczuk (5)
Fuzz: Miles Hilder (17), Brian Hicks x 3 (15), Shoni Mizutani (1), Paul Licari (5), Jeff Laniado x 2 (13), Gil Valdez x 2 (12)
Goalie Win: Aaron Pagdon (11)
Poutine Machine 6-0 Gut Rot Final
Poutine Machine: Brian Sullivan x 3 (12), Jo-Ann Provencher (1), Jerome Ramos x 2 (6)
Gut Rot:
Goalie Win: Scott Heese (6)
Sky Fighters 1-2 Corlears Hookers Final
Sky Fighters: Michael Teytelbaum (21)
Corlears Hookers: Noelle Safar (4), Tiffany Hagge (8)
Goalie Win: Campbell (1)
Mathematics 3-4 Rehabs Final(OT) 
Mathematics: Zach Hogg (via Free Agent), Adam Langer (5), Stephanie Couzin (1)
Rehabs: Carlton Ruth (7), Rebecca Cohen (via Free Agent), Joey Batista (6), Robert Blandi (3)
Goalie Win: Eric Ramirez (11)
Denim Demons 1-3 Filthier Final
Denim Demons: Seffi Jonas (4)
Filthier: Jeff Kamen (via Denim Demons), Suvin Malik x 2 (7)
Goalie Win: Tim Kayiatos (9)
Instant Karma 1-0 What The Puck Final
Instant Karma: Al Liu (3)
What The Puck:
Goalie Win: Michael Maloney (6)
LBS Inc. 5-4 Fresh Kills Final
LBS Inc.: Jake Chaplin (8), Scott Kaston (11), Alex Frey (4), Tommy Capotosta (3), Cherie Stewart (6)
Fresh Kills: Tom Rush x 3 (15), Sheena Wagaman (5)
Goalie Win: Tim Brown (8)

Week 18 Previews – Part 2

September 9th, 2016

Part 2 by an Anonymous Lovely Lady

tiff-the-hooker

Warrior.

Sky Fighters at Hookers

The Hooker ladies have had no trouble solving goalies this season as Tiffany H. currently sits on top of the leader board. However, even with great shooting by all and marathon running by Noelle S., they are no match for the Sky Fighters. Lead by co-Captain Caroline W., the Fighters come from behind with rookie Alexis N. pocketing the insurance goal.

Sky Fighters 5-3

Math at Rehabs

Rehabs newest powerhouse lady, Amber M., is looking to join her new teammates on the leaderboard since leaving Math. Also, is it time for Ryann G. to return from her typical summer vacation? If so, the Rehabs can look to spread the scoring across all lines. Math will do it’s best and flex its lady muscles by starting the game with an all lady line-up anchored by Steph C. and Amy A.. This game quickly becomes a high intensity match-up with the Rehabs prevailing.

Rehabs 4-2

Demons at Filthier

Everybody loves Ann M., right? Wrong. The Demons want to give her a Sunday to forget. Captain Popack will have the troops ready for this one. But they have to play two games this week because of the rainout. Will Tracy M. and co. be able to bring it for game two against the defending champs? We don’t think so. Look for Filthier’s Jess  L. to swoop in with the game winner.

Filthier 3-2

Don't forget about Nicole and Angela. They've been holding it down on O and D Karma too.

Don’t forget about Nicole and Angela. They’ve been holding it down on O and D for Karma too.

Karma at WTP

Will Lisa H be out for revenge against her old team, WTP? Probably not, because they’re so likable. But, even so, this should be a great Welcome To The Johnsons matchup. Captain Emily M. will have the Pucks ready for this battle, as they fight to keep their spot in the division with the regular season nearing its end. But Karma’s Nina D. has been a defensive stalwart this season and will stymy Tanya N.’s scoring chances.

Karma 2-0

all-star-sheena

All-Star.

LBS, Inc. at Fresh Kills

Some people might call this end of the day match-up of first division teams a snooze fest, but the teams keep it interesting by making sure we have a shoot-out that goes on until the sun sets over the courts. The overtime period is intense with Cherie S. and Sheena W. pounding shots on the goalies, but ultimately Natasha S. of Fresh Kills gets the shootout winner to bring week 18 of BTSH to a close

Fresh Kills 2-1 (11 round SO)

And again, here’s my average take…

Sky Fighters at Corlears Hookers

Call me crazy, but even with Newman in net I’m taking the Hookers winning this one.  (Hint: Newman, cover your Five Hole.  That’s usually how Mike T. scores.)

FACT – on May 10th the Trump campaign bought 3,964 copies of Donald Trump’s book ‘Crippled America’ from a New York Barnes & Noble.  The purchases jacked up the sales enough that it landed on the Nielsen bestseller list.  So, the conflict is, if Trump profited from the sales, could that be a violation of federal campaign finance law?  (The Daily Beast and Significant Digits)

Prediction: Tiffany and her fellow Hookers look scary good at 4-1.

 

Mathematics at Rehabs

Wait, could this be the ‘Return of Ryann’ game?  Thank you to all of the random free agent ladies that have made a brief appearance on the Habs offense in July and August.  But Ryann is back and she’s got that covered.

Also returning to BTSH after a multi-year overseas hiatus is BEKCY F*CKING NORRIS!  (Whom, sadly, I have yet to meet.)  Her spunk could be just what Math needs to get the good times rolling again.  Wonder what new tricks she picked up in Cambodia?

Prediction: Habs are just too defensively sound for Mathenorris and take this one 5-1.

Denim Demons at Filthier

REF SCHEDULER ALERT: we are going to need at least three refs for this game.  (Only one will be needed for the Karma at Pucks game.  Both of those teams will end up hugging it out anyways.)

These two teams straight up just do not like each other.  Period.  Going back to last year’s end of season match-up Schuie was called out of retirement to keep these two in line.  And earlier this season it got a little messy with a couple of elbows from the Demons connecting in the eye sockets of some Filther’s ladies.

Prediction: Filthier is just playing too damn well right now and win this 4-2.

Instant Karma at What The Puck

This is a rematch of Opening Day 2016 when Karma and Baloney stole a 1-0 victory on a brisk afternoon.  Gone are the sweatpants, solid ice cold pink balls, stiff joints and early season jitters for both teams.  I can’t speak for Karma, but Emily, Justin and Mike D have improved since then and are ready to defend their right to stay in the Johnsons Division.

Prediction: the Karma slide continues against their divisional foes with WTP evening the series 3-2.

LBS, Inc. at Fresh Kills

There’s a lot riding on this one for both teams.  We’ve already outlined what both of these teams need down the stretch, but we haven’t discussed the inter-team dynamics.  During the scorching month of August LBS’s chemistry came a bit undone with the frequent absences of key players.  They’ll need to focus on improving communication and getting comfortable with each other again.

As for Fresh Kills, the move of Soko to defense has produced mixed results.  He’s still learning the position so he gets a wee-pass there, but he should turn his attention to supporting Barch instead of berating the refs.

Prediction: LBS survive a late push from FK to win 5-3.