Caption Contest: Week of 7/10
July 12th, 2016By Diana
Party people,
The site is back up, we have the all-star game this Sunday — so much EXCITEMENT in the air! While Probie slaves away to create an awesomely fun time on July 17th (rumors of sandwiches and a slapshot competition at Derek’s belt are floating about)…let’s flex our wit muscles and caption the shit out of this picture of Alex.
(insert caption here)
Do your worst: Caption Contest Week of 7/10
Week 12’s Three Stars
July 12th, 2016
Week 12 Box Scores!
July 11th, 2016
Who wore the Sky Fighters hat best?
| Gouging Anklebiters |  |
1-2 |  |
Sky Fighters | Final(OT) |
| Gouging Anklebiters: Alex Derhohannesian (5) Sky Fighters: Michael Teytelbaum x 2 (11) Goalie Win: James Stein (2) |
|||||
| Butchers |  |
5-4 |  |
Instant Karma | Final |
| Butchers: Rachel Greene (2), James Kinney (3), Dana Kravis x 2 (3), Arthur Revechkis (3) Instant Karma: Cory Vernoia x 2 (7), Ben Chadwick x 2 (2) Goalie Win: Tim Burke (6) |
|||||
| Poutine Machine |  |
6-2 |  |
Mega Touch | Final |
| Poutine Machine: Jerome Ramos x 2 (4), Brian Sullivan x 2 (6), Steve Berkowitz (1), Mike Marron (4) Mega Touch: Alex Eben Meyer x 2 (6) Goalie Win: Scott Heese (2) |
|||||
| Filthier |  |
4-0 |  |
Cobra Kai | Final |
| Filthier: Rebecca Novick (1), Denis Miciletto x 3 (13) Cobra Kai: Goalie Win: Tim Kayiatos (5) |
|||||
| LBS Inc. |  |
4-3 |  |
Gremlins | Final(OT) |
| LBS Inc.: Karsten Pichon x 3 (8), Alex Frey (2) Gremlins: Maire Lane (5), Erich Graham x 2 (7) Goalie Win: Tim Brown (6) |
|||||
| Mathematics |  |
6-5 |  |
Fuzz | Final(SO) |
| Mathematics: Sam Norris x 2 (8), Justin Perras x 2 (2), Sarah Herr (1) Fuzz: Miles Hilder x 3 (14), Brian Hicks x 2 (9) Shootout: Winner by Justin Perras Goalie Win: David Liang (3) |
|||||
| Denim Demons |  |
1-2 |  |
Fresh Kills | Final(SO) |
| Denim Demons: Zach Fein (5) Fresh Kills: Ashley Singer (2) Shootout: Winner by Sheena Wagaman Goalie Win: Patrick Barch (6) |
|||||
| Tompkins Square Riots |  |
2-1 |  |
What The Puck | Final |
| Tompkins Square Riots: Suz Pasquantonio (2), Vanck Zhu (1) What The Puck: Corey Winters (3) Goalie Win: Dave Gil De Rubio (5) |
|||||
| Dark Rainbows |  |
3-0 |  |
Gut Rot | Final |
| Dark Rainbows: Becky Pear (2), Rem Garavito Bruhn (3), Sean Fleming (1) Gut Rot: Goalie Win: Kevin Longwell (4) |
|||||
| Rehabs |  |
4-2 |  |
Corlears Hookers | Final |
| Rehabs: Alex May x 2 (9), Sena Ito x 2 (3) Corlears Hookers: Scott Halpern (2), Brian Cronauer (6) Goalie Win: Eric Ramirez (6) |
|||||
Week 12 Previews
July 8th, 2016By Rachel Greene
Instant Karma vs Butchers
I hate to get all Glanzer and write an entire post about Ben Chadwick and myself…but, like Glanzer, I am going to do it whether you like it or not (just with better grammar and fewer wrestling references). So Ben and I win a lot together, at trivia, gardening, local farm-share veggies, jump starting each other’s cars. But this Sunday, we can’t both be winners. Last week Karma fell out of first place, handing Gut Rot their first win of the season. Mike (Karma’s official goalie) has been lights out this season, but Pete’s been finding the back of a lot of nets. Also: Jimmy. Ben, you might win in height and Mensa, but I’m going to wager a 6 pack on my Butchers.
Prediction: Butchers by 1, let’s split the series.
Gouging Anklebiters vs Sky Fighters
Whether it comes from the ‘Biters or the Fighters bench, you’ll here ‘c’mon Mike’ from one of the sidelines. I really just want to see Infanti and Marko smile at each other. (Has anyone ever taught them to score more and smile less? Regardless, they both make me smile a lot, without scoring much.) Stein is back in net for the Fighters after an injury/Netflix binge hiatus and will be test often by Derho and Hanson (they’re not going to take it easy on him).
Prediction: Biters take this one from their former division rivals 3-2.
Poutine Machine vs Mega Touch
Slow down, Nicky. What happened to a little chivalry?
Prediction: Mega by 1, git it!
Filthier vs Cobra Kai
Not a bad replacement for Dennis.
Prediction: Filthy by 1, with or without Den.
LBS, Inc. vs Gremlins
Big question here…which team will Luke play on? I’m going to go ahead and say that decides the winner. You know what I’d really like to see? I’d like to check Facebook Monday morning and see Cherie post some love to Jamie after he shuts her down. Oh yeah, Cherie is on the Pounds now (everyone who has to play them this season collectively sighs and hangs heads). Rookie Alex, you better hope a bee stings Tim Brown. He’s not letting much in these days.
Prediction: LBS by 3 and look for Scott to over-celebrate a hatty.
Math at Fuzz
Didn’t this just happen? Who makes the schedule here? It really seems like Math had a lot of fun last time!! Then again, not all of Fuzz had fun either. I would think that Fuzz would be relieved not to play against Cherie, but then they went ahead and pissed off Michelle. Personally, I wouldn’t mess with that. I’m not sure I want to watch this game; I get very upset when my common law husband loses his shit. I am somewhat looking forward to the part of the game where it all goes to hell and Amy and Alyssa becomes good friends talking nonsense while Newman (fails to) calm it down.
Prediction: Ewing Theroy holds true and Math rights the ship and stun Fuzz 4-2.
Portugal at France
By Isaac
The stage has been set for the European Championship Final. France stormed past Germany, and just about everyone else in their way, to enter the final and will face a Portugal team that has had to claw their way to get here. Led by La Liga Superstar, Ronaldo, Portugal has been resilient and patient throughout the tournament; cleverly picking their scoring chances and baiting opposing countries into making bad decision. Meanwhile, France has played with the discipline and poise that champions are made of. And they’ll need it if they plan on outlasting Portugal and taking home the 2016 EURO CUP.
Prediction: France doesn’t get fooled by Portugal’s trickery and wins the Final by 3-1.
Denim Demons at Fresh Kills
Hey, BTSH! Did you know that the Fresh Kills now not only have an eponymously named Staten Island landfill, but ALSO a bar in Williamsburg? Sorry. It was big news to me. Who knew they were so upwardly mobile? Now the Demons, they’ve had a lot of change this year…the looming questions is, which direction are they headed? Staten Island landfill or Williamsburg bar? Follow up question: which is worse?
Prediction: So Fresh by 2, upwardly mobile.
Tompkins Square Riots vs What The Puck
These two teams are duking it out should be a fun one for all of us to watch. Keys to the game: WTP needs to stop Suz crazy scoring, keep Sharif’s pants on and somehow contain Laura MacNeil’s excitement. Actually not the last one, it’s too much fun to watch. Also important, do not let the Tompkins Square Hawk eat Camden. TSR needs to keep Mike’s wings in check and hope that Corey doesn’t appear again.
Prediction: Riots by 2, Joe and Suz can’t be stopped.
Dark Rainbows vs Gut Rot
By Isaac
Gut Rot is now locked in and focused.
What do we have here? Ah, yes! A battle of formerly-known-as-Green Division heavyweights!
Last week Gut Rot enjoyed their first taste of victory this season and are thirsty for more. The Rainbows on the other hand have come back down to earth after enjoying early season success against some of the formerly-known-as-Katz Division teams. Both have been trending Sideways recently and this contest will decide which course of direction they are now headed in. Abby vs Tommy! Longwell vs Nitschxe! Candy Corns vs Crack! Game on!
Prediction: Gut Rot gets on a roll with their second W in as many games, 3-1.
Rehabs vs Corlears Hookers
We at the media (and anyone else listening) has heard a lot lately about the Rehabs being ‘for real.’ If the Hookers bring a legit squad this week, it might just be the week to test that theory. Otherwise it might more similar to Kirkham yelling about drones during the State of the Union. The more I think about it, screw the game…I just want to hand Kirkham a six pack and point him towards Cro and his stupid hat.
Prediction: Rehabs by 2, man I hate that hat.
First Annual Mid-Season Power Rankings
July 7th, 2016Alright, so maybe we are past the midway point. But what better way to usher in the new league website than with a Power Rankings post! And it is about time we started doing this…
1. LBS, Inc.
The most all around sound team this season in BTSH. The young pup Jake with old man Karsten make them a two-punch scoring threat along with Liz and Ali applying pressure from anywhere on the courts. And Timmy Baby has been superb in net.
Trending: Elite
2. Rehabs
Damn. Have you seen this team play over the past couple of weeks? They are effing stacked. Aside from the additions of Ramirez in net and bringing back Ryann, Welch has built this team with outside talent and promoting from their farm affiliate. Staying true to their roots, the defense has been setting the tone and Sena has made it extremely difficult for any offense to find their way onto the scoring sheet. You’ve done well Welch.
Trending: Strong
3. Fuzz
While the Rehabs built their team with outside talent, Rich & Co. decided to build from within the league to create this Super Team. That might have put a little stink on them, but they don’t care. Jeff, Hicks, Paul and Coach are getting the job done every week. And they could possibly be drinking from a certain cup by the end of the season.
Trending: Up
4. Fresh Kills
No longer concerned with being the dominant team throughout the regular season, the Kills have figured out how to have fun and win at the same time. Their core of Barch, Soko, Natasha, Gabe and Ariel have remained sturdy all season. Plus the additional scoring from Tom and Sarah have been a breath of fresh air.
Trending: Steady
5. Denim Demons
Despite offseason losses of key players, and fighting the injury bug throughout season, the Demons have remained competent and competitive. But how long can one team’s luck last? Therefore Zach, Josh and Popack will need to continue to prop this team up if they want to remain in the hut for the division title.
Trending: Sideways
6. Cobra Kai
Don’t fall for their record. The evil dojo may have started the season off quiet, but they have been making some noise lately. Rachel and Will are in the top ten in scoring and Liam can turn it on anytime he wants to. The question down the stretch is does he want to?
Trending: Up
7. Filthier
After overcoming early season adversity, Filthier or Filthiest or #whogivesashit have found their mojo again and been having fun putting it on display. That being said, they’ll need to prove it against a top five team before we can consider them as a repeat offender contender.
Trending: Sideways
8. Butchers
The Super Team of the formerly-known-as-Showtime Division! Crisp passing and spacing have been their winning formula along with Pete seeming to always be in the right place at the right time. With Drake crashing the net and MDF back in the mix we don’t see this team slowing down anytime soon.
Trending: Up
9. Sky Fighters
How’s the formerly-known-as-Katz Division taste? Not too good, huh. As polished as this team is defensively, their goal differential of a -11 is a bit eyebrow raising. Aside from Mike, nobody else has been able to regularly find the back of the net.
Trending: Down
10. Gouging Anklebiters
Talk about quietly playing up to par. The Biters have been keeping it 100 despite the frequent absences of Probie, Joe P, Derho and Worky. Cheekbones has done a formidable job at protecting Craigers and the rest of their defenders will need to continue to follow her lead.
Trending: Sideways
11. Mathematics
Too talented to be in this spot. Plain and simple. (Having said that, I can’t get rid of this nagging feeling that Sam, Cherie, Zach, Justin and Roxy are playing coy with us. Just coasting through the season until the playoffs begin and then bringing their game faces.)
Trending: Underachieving
12. Instant Karma
The best part about this team is their goaltender. Mike has been playing at an all-star level and has given them a chance to win every game. Unfortunately, inconsistent scoring and untimely turnovers has plagued Karma. With the hardest stretch of their schedule still in front of them we’ll learn a lot about this team right before the playoffs.
Trending: Sideways
13. Mega Touch
Grit and gusto and so much more have vaulted this team into the middle of the pack. Julie, Brady and Adriano have developed the chemistry we’ve been waiting for and the other Touches are playing an inspired brand of ball hockey. The recent acquisition of free agent Jeff and inevitable return of the rugged Gunner has this team on the up and up.
Trending: Up
14. Corlears Hookers
The Hookers have been like a box of chocolates this season, from week to week we never know which team we are going to get. Gone are the days of being a destructive force and say hello to the Cro-daddy era. Tiffany, Sarah and Noelle have stayed true to form, but when are the rest of them going to show up?
Trending: Down
15. Poutine Machine
For the second year in a row the Machine has had to start their season off with a brutal schedule. Despite facing offensive powerhouses they have only allowed 17 goals thus far. Hornswoggle is back from his travels and this is the time of year when he begins to heat up.
Trending: Up
16. What The Puck
Lack of consistent play has the Pucks down a couple more spots than where they probably belong. Emily has been a warrior all season (and should consider a permanent switch to defense), but she’ll need more of the same from her team to make a strong push through the second half of the season.
Trending: Down
17. Gremlins
Currently in danger of being pushed back down to the formerly-known-as-Greene Division due to lack of consistent scoring and help in front of the net. Ryan and Walker had an opportunity to address certain needs in offseason, but decided to toss limes and feast on french fries instead. BREAKING NEWS: their all-star forward, Erich, has suffered a career threatening knee injury and will never be the same. He will forever be remembered as ‘the legend that never was.’
Trending: Down
18. Dark Rainbows
Abby has done a virtuous job with this year’s squad and could potentially be up for Captain of the Year. She has these mystical creatures giving a respectable showing each week and believing that they can compete with anyone on Sunday. Just ask Filthier.
Trending: Sideways
19. Tompkins Square Riots
You get the feeling that this team is one extra ingredient away from being a winning recipe. Already featuring some of toughest ladies in BTSH, the gentlemen need to step and play at their level. And by the way, where in the world is Vanck??? (No, seriously, Jonesy is getting a little worried.)
Trending: Sideways
20. Gut Rot
Yes, I know they just earned their first win of the season, and possibly deserve a little more love here, but they need to replicate that effort before moving up in the Rankings. And we’ve got a hunch that they might just do that. Early season jitters from Tommy, Ashley and Scott have been calmed by the vigorous emergence of rookies Morgen and Perko. Let’s see what the darlings of the league can put together during the rest of the season.
Trending: Sideways
Trending definitions:
Elite: the top team in the league.
Strong: playing just as well as the top team.
Steady: playing at the level of Ranking.
Up: improving each week and moving up in the Rankings.
Sideways: exactly where they were when the season started.
Underachieving: not living up to expectations.
Down: less activity and interest.
