Blast from an Unpublished Past — The “Latest” Know Your Neighbor
June 1st, 2016There was once a girl who wore a white skirt and wasn’t Ali from the Pounds. This was back in the Platinum Media years, when Rich used to be a dick*, no one really knew people on the Pounds, except Tim B, Ali, and that curly-haired man, and all the league members honored the line of, “yeah, I’m not sure when I’m going to post this article, but someday I’ll get to it–don’t worry–just write ahead of your time and you won’t have to worry about when it gets published.”
Well, Liz Boylan did none of that and spewed out some 2015 BTSH pop culture, so some of these references are old… Thanks, Liz…
* He still is a dick, but used to be one, too
Hometown: Staten Island till I was 8 (Diane loves me a little bit more because I was born there) Toms River, NJ after that.
College: Brookdale Community College
Profession: Interventional Radiologic Technologist
Favorite BTSH team other than the Elves: Def not the Elves, my LBS of course duh.
Favorite memory this year at Ocean City excluding everything except the time you were locked outside of your hotel room and lost your stuff in a car OR when you were picked up by the Nuclears’ lead guitarist and a bunch of strangers telling you to get into the van: Favorite Ocean City moment- Lime Walker Band, I was an original audience member so I got to see them from the beginning of their career, and of course making it to the finals with the Twin Dekes, or Twin Dicks we had two names.Favorite NHL team: Rangers
Where does the name Pounds, Inc. come from? Was the founder of the team British? (please explain): The LBS are a legacy that extends back to the beginning of the league, Sascha (number 1) and Ali were there from the start. The team Sascha (number 1) was on with some of my fellow LBS was originally called The Plague. Eventually they decided they wanted to change the name. Ken and Karsten loved some skit from the Jerkey boys in which the word “pounds” was somehow a key phrase. There was a vote, hardly anyone was present for the vote and pounds won.If Tim Brown stooped to your level, what would he say: LIIIIIIZZZZZEEEEEERRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Favorite NYC bar: Bailey’s Corner a dive bar near my apartment that I just love.
If you had one of the Pounds polo jerseys, would you pop the collar in the Ocean City bound rape van: Just because I am from Jersey does not mean I would pop my collar, and Mike roofied all the girls in the back of the van so I do not remember the ride to or from Ocean City.
What the BTSH media will begin to overhype you about: That I am a social LBS.
Why do you hate Rich Glanzer so much: Rich Glanzer has a face that just makes you wanna punch it, plus he’s a dick. Although at a party last week we both simultaneously yelled at this guy that was trying to interrupt our conversation. The guy left confused and scared while we laughed hysterically. Rich then proposed to me and has already started planning the wedding. So I guess I will be spending the rest of my life hating him, although I could always stand in front of the M79.
If you walked through Tompkins Square Park at midnight on a Tuesday night, which teammate (Tommy C, Tim Brown, Ali the girl, Curly Haired Man, The Hair, or Tim Brown again) would you see drinking a Colt 45 waiting for the bathrooms to open: Both Tim Browns
Ace or Double Wide: Ace, so many good memories already, plus Double Wide banned Camden and how can anyone in their right minds ban that cute little pup…I mean come on.
Mets or Stankees: I am a who I’m with fan, so I guess Mets since Rich and I are engaged…gross.
If the Pounds made it to the BTSH Championship, what team would you want to play: Most definitely Filthier, I want one more shot at them before Ben and Jenna peace out.
Nobody likes this question, but it’s the best one. If Sigmund Freud analyzed your game play, what would he conclude:
ABSTRACT:
Upon evaluating the young lady playing for the very talented LBS, I have come to many conclusions about her behavior. While on the court Elizabeth expressed a great deal of aggression and has quite a competitive nature. Her ID seems to operate extremely high during the physical stress of the game, and her rational self ego is not around to tell her perhaps it is not a good idea to run a million miles an hour into another person as she was warned by Jenna Cruff. Cruff then forced her to sit because of continual said aggression.
We’ll be back soon…
May 31st, 2016The Karma Confections Caption Contest Conclusion
May 27th, 2016Gulliver’s Travels: The Sequel
3rd Place: Anonymous (ANNOUNCE THYSELF!)
“Actually, not sure if that’s glaze, since I found these in the Tompkins bathrooms. After Derek used them.”
Honorable mention: Abby M.
“Wow, Ben. I have to say: your balls are so tender.”
“Well, there’s no beating my balls. They’re made from a secret Schweddy family recipe. No one can resist my Schweddy balls.”
Side-note: The media policy of using first names and last initials makes everything sound like an AA meeting. [-ed.]
Right to Play Tournament
May 26th, 2016The Right to Play (RTP) Charity Ball Hockey Tournament is back again this year at Mofo Rink on June 18th. All proceeds benefit Right to Play, a non-profit organization that uses the power of play and sport to educate and empower children facing adversity.

Here are the details:
*When: June 28th
*Time: 8:30am registration, 9:00am puck drop
*Format / Skill Level: Co-Ed / All Ranges
*Location: Rink in Tanahey Park, located at the intersection of Cherry Street and Catherine Street in Lower Manhattan (http://mofohockey.org/about/location/)
*Required Equipment: Stick, Gloves, Eye Protection (i.e. sunglasses)
*How to Sign Up:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/events/924625737667247/
Website: https://my.righttoplayusa.org/new-york/events/cnyp-charity-ball-hockey-tournament/e79828
*Cost: $35 donation per player or $175 per team
*Format/Teams: There will be 6 teams, each with a minimum of 6 players (including 1 goalie). If you already have your team lined up, you can register that team (or join that team) by clicking the link above. If you do not already have a team lined up, please register as an individual and you will be placed on a team.
If you have any questions, please email Pete Gordon. (pete.gordon@scotiabank.com or 646-787-7976)
The final format will be subject to how many teams are created based on number of players signed up.
See you out there!
The Horse’s Asses of BTSH
May 26th, 2016Well BTSHers, we are a third of the way through the 2016 season and overdue for the first Not Three Stars post. But instead of simply stating that these are the opposite of shining moments from game day, we should call them out for what they really are: a Horse’s Ass.,,,,which is breaking the first rule of our oddball league. And….we’re off!
Triple Ass
Rich G. of Fuzz
At the beginning of the season Rich made a pact with himself that if he didn’t score a goal within the first third of the season then it would be open season on all the ladies of BTSH. None of us thought that the ladies had anything to worry about. I mean, come on, Rich can’t hit the broad side of barn with anything on the line. Well on Sunday he unloaded one on his BTSH Newsroom colleague Diana M. Aiming for her cheekbones he predictably missed and connected with her collarbone instead and ricocheting up and off her orbital bone. Giving her parents who were in attendance a good scare. That’s our Richiepoothang. Making friends left and right.
Double Ass
Isaac S. of Instant Karma
Midway through the second half of the match-up against the Riots I got caught up in the moment jostling for position in front of their net. Their defender went down and then I eventually went down too. Having a momentary lapse in good judgment I gave him a friendly cross-check in the chest as we were both getting up causing a barrage of Riots to rush over and bring me to my senses. Tut-tut. Not the Karma way. Not the BTSH way. My head has been hanging in shame since.
Single Ass
Tompkins Square Hawk of Tompkins Square Park
Note to everyone in the league that likes to bring their cute little companion to the courts on Sunday, the Hawk has taken an interest in them. This past Sunday it was seen circling and swooping dangerously low with intent to snatch one of them away. It has been suggested that we try and capture the Hawk. Really? You people just don’t get it. No one stops the Tompkins Square Hawk. It laughs in the face of all Asses. So this is your warning: keep your pets close and safe, and when playing – find a babysitter.
Do you know any Horses Asses? Have you had a run in with a Horses Ass and would like to put him or her on blast this season? Maybe you’re the Horse’s Ass. Send your story over to BTSH.Media@gmail.com. We’d love to hear from you. Best Ass in show gets an Assy Award at the end of the season for being the greatest Ass of 2016! We understand that they come in all shapes and sizes, so don’t be shy about sharing yours. 😉











