Fashion Meets Hockey – Sean Avery Not Involved
August 27th, 2013
Still looking to fill those empty days and nights until BTSH starts up again. Poutine Machine’s Chelsea Hicks has passed along details of an event that all BTSH’ers should consider supporting:
Fashion Faceoff 2013 will be held on Wednesday, September 4th at 7pm at Providence (311 W 57th Street, between 8th and 9th avenues).
As a prelude to New York Fashion Week, the special runway show will feature fashion’s rising star designers illustrate hockey inspired outfits to a panel of judges comprising NHL players and notable fashion industry experts.
To purchase tickets, you can visit: www.icehockeyinharlem.org and click on the Fashion Faceoff 2013 invitation. Please note that the early purchase price of $75 per ticket is only available until tomorrow, after which date the price jumps to $85.
All proceeds will go directly to Ice Hockey in Harlem and help provide Harlem-based youth the opportunity to play, and learn from, the game of hockey.
Chelsea would neither confirm or deny that the new Denim demons look was actually a sneak peek at one of the outfits featured in the show.
Wondering What to Do This Sunday Morning?
August 13th, 2013
There’s no BTSH for the next couple of Sundays but that doesn’t mean there’s no street hockey at Tompkins. Bob W. is heading up a Youth Street Hockey instructional program and he could use help over the next two Sundays. Here’s what he has to say about it:
“Many of you are aware of the Parks Dept. youth street hockey program that’s
been running for the past three years. In fact, many of you have coached
with the program. Till now the program has run only during the winter
months, indoors at rec centers in all five boroughs.
But this summer Parks is expanding the program to the summer months, and
Tompkins Square Park will be the first location! Every Sunday from 10am-noon
volunteer coaches will teach kids at Tompkins how to pass, shoot and score!
The program is 100% free for the kids, aged 5 to 15, and will run every
Sunday till the season finale on Aug. 25, 2013, when the NY Rangers will be
on hand with their road show!
We’re looking for some new volunteer coaches to help out. No experience is
necessary — all that’s required is the desire to help spread hockey to the
next generation of hockey players! There will be experienced coaches on hand
every Sunday, so new coaches will help out while learn on the job. It’s
immense fun, super easy and very satisfying being a youth hockey coach.
Whatever kind of commitment you can make is welcomed, even if it’s only one
week.
Also, we encourage you to spread the word about the program, and let your
friends with kids know about. Of course, if you’ve got kids who might be
interested, register them and bring them out! All the kids will receive
their own street hockey stick and NY Rangers Street Hockey t-shirt — FREE!
To register your kids for the program, go to:
http://www.nycgovparks.org/
If you’d like more information about coaching, contact bobw AT
streethockeynyc DOT org.
Sincerely yours,
Bob Weyersberg”
So if you’re around this weekend come and help Bob out!
Week 16 – Game Previews – Part 2
August 9th, 2013
FROM THE COMMISH: This Sunday will be Bill Tucker’s last Sunday/Farewell party at ACE. We will haveBTSH DJS all day/night, pizza, Petra and Trivia will have a Jaeger launch with raffles and sports related trivia that night. So call in sick on Monday and see Billy off proper to Texas. He’s been such a huge help this season.
Poutine Machine at Fresh Kills,
1:00 pm, Tompkins Square West
by Eli “Law of Syllogism” Kazin
Corlears Hookers at La Famiglia,
2:00 pm, Tompkins Square West
Aaaron Sorkin has a line that “Decisions are made by those who show up.” The BTSH equivalent might be “Games are won by those who show up.” And that probably explains why the Hookers are on a two-game losing streak. A full Hookers squad is one of the hardest outs in the league. But even Danilo and Gavin can’t win games all by themselves.
But there is a bright spot for the team from the wrong side of the FDR.
New uniforms.
Gone are the purple and gold disco outfits, replaced by a more subdued and classy logo that reminds some folks of the Lbs. Coincidence? we think not. perhaps the new look will be enough to lure Jason Eitel out of semi-retirement and put the Hooks back on the winning streak.
Meanwhile the Tuques have developed a “Family style” offense, with everyone sharing in the scoring buffet (of course, as metaphorical papa, Denis still gets the biggest helping). With the Hookers defense and goaltending taking the biggest hit in the summer swoon, don’t be surprised if the Italian jobs make it three losses in a row for the BTSH bridesmaids.
Gremlins at Skyfighters,
3:00 pm, Tompkins Square West
Both these teams looked strong in the early part of the season and both have struggled of late. But that’s what makes great BTSH matchups. This one is all about the Skyfighters offense versus the Gremlins surprisingly strong defense and stellar goaltending. With guns like Martin, Robert and the Hopper in their lineup, don’t expect the Fighters to post up the single goal that they’ve managed in several of their recent games. On the other hand, Jamie B is still one of the top candidates for goalie of the year and the Grems have been known to put a few biscuits in the basket themselves.
We’re predicting OT for this one and quite possibly a shootout. Give the edge to Sky Fighters snipers if it comes to that.
Gouging Anklebiters at Cobra Kai,
4:30 pm, Tompkins Square West
Since Bill spent 500 words talking about BTSH, he has handed the reins of this Anklebiters / Cobra Kai preview to Dr. Hunter S. Tompkins. We apologize in advance.
The last game before the summer swan song is always a biggie. Who will forgo the brunch to show up the court? Who will skip the match in favor of mimosas, eggs benedict and charcuterie? These factors will weigh heavily in this contest’s outcome. On one foot, Cobra Kai has had a rotating cast of characters in and out of the lineup all season. Perennial hot head Pete Lang? Out. Becky “The Pugilist” Pear? Nowhere to be found. In their place is a rag tag group of free agents, castaways and some guy named Jeff Borger. Once he has a season under his belt, I’ll bestow a nickname on him. But don’t count out the Dojo. The newbies have energy to spare and the combination of Greg “The Anvil” Altman and Will “The Wonder” Kuhns are capable of making any defensive combination look like last week’s Swiss cheese. Old, moldy and ripe for the breaking.
On the other foot, the Biters always run deep and possess a milk curd makeup somewhere between sharp gouda and Spanish manchego. In a word, they’re pretty tough. So tough, they sport a sparkling 9-2-3-1 record going into the final August week. Over the season, Bill has mentioned each player on the squad at least fifteen times, so here’s my X Factor. Coco. Her shining, smiling presence bellies a raging hockey tiger just waiting to be uncaged. And considering my track record with jungle cats and cheese plates (call back to an old preview…one person will get it), I hesitate to tempt the fates. Playing with fire, the Dojo will do their best but ultimately fall to the Foot Nibblers 4-1.
As for Bill and Jamie, what can I say? They’re folks of a kindred spirit. Mad ramblers sucking down life one bottle at a time. Their journey isn’t an unfortunate occurrence. It’s what’s supposed to happen. Over the years, I’ve breathed in many ether soaked rags with these two lovers of the night and one thing is for certain. Bill can’t hold his ether worth a damn. But dammit he tried. So, the next time I find myself knee deep in some sort of protoplasmic ooze surrounded by wild, carnivorous pelicans, I’ll smile and wish they were there to snap me out of my hallucination. Either that or join in the fun.
Denim Demons at Filthy Gorgeous,
5:30 pm, Tompkins Square West
With Adam Rubens trying to steal the Gorgeous appellation from the Filthys (see our earlier post) this one is sure to be hard fought. But as with most of the 5:30 games, the big question is … will anyone be around to watch it? This week the answer is definitely not as most of the die hard court hangers out will forego their distaste for darkness and head to the ACE for Bill’s leaving party. If Jeff Kamen and James Periera each score 6 goals in the metaphorical forest and no one is around to see it, do they still count? That’s a question for former Filthy and current philosophy player Jon “Redpants” Rick or the aforementioned ACE crowd. We already know what Zack Tinkelman and Matt Novick would say …
The last word this week belongs to the man himself. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Bill Tucker …
Sorry friends, I just can’t do it. I absolutely refuse to say goodbye.
A one-two syllable punch, the word screams the total and complete end of things. A final nail in the emotional coffin. When someone says goodbye, it means for good. All time. The Sandlot’s FOR-EV-ERR. Despite a permanent move to the Lone Star State, I know leaving a league I care deeply about can’t be the last hurrah. There’s always room for one more shot of pinot grigio.
But even I can’t deny it. This Sunday is going to be my last BTSH game for quite some time. Possibly ever.
When I look back on what this league has given me, it’s staggering. When I moved here over three years ago, I had nobody. Just an apartment full of movies, IKEA cutlery still wrapped in plastic and a red bag of goalie gear. After a street hockey Google search and a blind e-mail to Adriano asking if anyone needed a keeper, getting a team was random luck. Four hours of free agent scrimmaging, an application where I drew a drunken stick figure and a compliment of Ellery’s beard was all it took to get me on Gut Rot.
Three years later, 80% of my social circle is BTSH related. Great times, dear friends and an amazing sense of community has been the reward for showing up on Sundays to play a game I love. BTSH isn’t just a beer league. It’s a family of like minded people, good folk who enjoy nothing more than clashing sticks during the day and clinking bottles at night. A natural gathering ground for people who don’t mind showing up to Ace sweaty and gross from humid day of hockey. My kind of down to earth maniacs.
But next week, I’m gone. Jamie and I are packing up a sixteen foot Budget truck and trekking 1700 miles away to a new life. The reasons are many (if you want the detailed version, click here) but the trek is bittersweet. Every non-BTSH person I know has said, “I’m sure there’s street hockey in Austin. There has to be.” If there is, who cares. It’ll be nothing like the league I’m leaving behind.
Luckily, the trip has been more than worth it. Since joining BTSH, I’ve made lifelong friends, had fantastic good times and packed my brain full of manic, woozy memories. To those I’m leaving behind, remember what separates this league from the others out there. It’s about sitting on the court with a sixer of PBR, laughing with your team after an 8-0 drubbing. It’s about the many BTSH couples, relationships and marriages. It’s about turning Sunday night into Monday morning as the rest of the world wishes they were capable of having our brand of carefree fun.
Remember, friends. This isn’t a goodbye. Jamie and I will return to tip back a High Life and share a laugh with this great group of ball chasing cohorts. And when we come back, make sure you keep the league the same way I found it three years ago. Keep that door open. Maybe some other NYC newbie is out there looking for a hockey playing family and a place to call home.
Week 16 – Game Previews – Part 1
August 8th, 2013
FROM THE COMMISH: This Sunday will be Bill Tucker’s last Sunday/Farewell party at ACE. We will haveBTSH DJS all day/night, pizza, Petra and Trivia will have a Jaeger launch with raffles and sports related trivia that night. So call in sick on Monday and see Billy off proper to Texas. He’s been such a huge help this season.
Mega Touch at Mathematics,
1:00 pm, Tompkins Square East
With all the colors of the rainbow to choose from, why do we have two grey teams in BTSH (and why are there four in Moffo?). That’s the question the old, curmudgeonly former Bad Touchers ask themselves every time they meet up with Math. We can’t tell you how many times we’ve heard Alex Eben Meyer say “What’s next? Striped socks? That’s my thing. That’s my thing that I do.”. Get over it Alex. Or at least find a kindred soul on Math and ask if this is what it sounds like when doves cry.
Math aren’s as fashion obsessed but that’s only because Mama Norris kept her kids in Grranimals until they were 14. Don’t be surprised to see Giraffe tags be an essential part of next years uniform. They’ve got bigger concerns though. Captain Derek has abandoned the team to become a soccer hooligan and Eli has been curled up in the corner of some Boston banquet hall muttering, “This can’t be happening.” Meanwhile, the Norri continue to consolidate their power. Only Brad seems to be putting up any resistance to their bloodless coup. Word has it that he was spotted in clandestine meetings with Math alumni Laura Macneil and Sharif Corinaldi. Will they return from exile to restore the once proud Math tradition of losing in an extremely witty way?
Politics make strange bedfellows. But the wheels won’t turn fast enough to guarantee a win for Mega Touch this Sunday. While the Awesome Feelers have been getting scoring from all over the place, they’ll need Adriano “Stai Calmo” Bratta to wake up and deliver multiple points if they want to beat the ever growing Norris dynasty.
Tompkins Square Riots at Gut Rot,
2:00 pm, Tompkins Square West
We’re actually jealous of anyone who gets to play in this game. Sure, both these teams are lower down in the standings. But this promises to be the kind of fun, chill game that BTSH was built on. TSR are coming off of a strong performance against the Filthys last week. For the first time in ages they had a full roster and when that happens they can take on any team in the league. But there is no way they’re beating Gut Rot this Sunday.
Why? The answer is simple – Bill Tucker. As much as BIll has meant to the league, he’s meant even more to GR. After I foolishly told him at the free agent scrimmage that we had a goalie, I introduced Bill to Peaches and the rest is history. Gut Rot has grown stronger every year and Bill has become the public face of the team (thereby allowing Peaches to carry out more of the CIA sanctioned covert missions that so often take him away from his captaining duties). And as karma, I spent the next 16 games of that season looking for a netminder. But that’s another story.
Bill has not only been a solid presence between the pipes. He also recruited covert goal scorer Jamie, who has quietly become one of the Moonshiners leading goal scorers. Bill has also exemplified the spirit of GR, chill and laid back but intense when the situation called for it. He can also hold his liquor, a key asset for any Standoff hall of famer. This game marks Bill’s farewell to GR and we know that his teammates will be playing their hearts out for him. Forget playoffs, forget BTSH championships, for the mutli-shirted sons and daughters of the Rot, this is their Stanley Cup final.
Lbs. at Happy Little Elves,
3:00 pm, Tompkins Square West
The current league champions face off against former league champions (you like that Rich?) in a top-tier matchup. But these are two teams headed in opposite directions. The Lbs. are coming off a commanding win against the Corlears Hookers. Meanwhile, the not-so Happy Elves are reeling from back to back losses against the Demons and Fresh Kills. They could have used a nice chill game against a laid back team like the …hmm, there aren’t too many of these teams left are there?
And the Lbs. can be described as many things. But laid back is not one of them. They are a pretty clean team though. And hopefully that will keep some of HLE’s hotter heads under control.
While we’ve been talking about Bill Tucker a lot this week, we’ve heard a nasty rumor that this could be Ken Poulin’s last game as well. We’re not sure if that’s completely accurate but we know that Ken and his family will be headed off for New Hampshire soon and that will mark yet another chapter in league history. Like Andy Pratt before him, Ken is one of the oldest of the old-school BTSHers. The Ken and Karsten show is like PHANTOM OF THE OPERA. You can’t remember a time when it wasn’t around. And it’s been the core around which the Lbs. have built more than one BTSH team. For many new players, Ken is not a well known league personality. But as a former teammate of his and a longtime fellow BTSHer, I can vouch for the fact that he’s one of the sweetest guys you’ll ever meet (off the court at least). He’s also one of the funniest. My favorite memory of Ken is watching him completely disrupt a Captain’s meeting a couple of years ago while Adriano choked back a mixture of amusement and frustration. Let’s just say that if Ken ran for Congress, we’d all watch a lot more C-Span. So while you’re raising your glasses to Bill and Jamie this Sunday make sure you order up a Molson or two for old Ken Poulin. Bon voyage, mon ami!
Dark Rainbows at Butchers
4:30 pm, Tompkins Square West
by Monica “the Moffo Matchmaker” Russo
The Butchers and the Rainbows have almost identical standings. Huh. Would you look at that.
What the Puck at Rehabs
5:30 pm, Tompkins Square East
by Rich “Stacy Forever” Glanzer
This Sunday, the Rehabs get to play everyone’s favorite game, Where’s What the Puck? The Pucksters have forfeited their last two games and with Derk refusing to cancel his honeymoon plans with Michelle Tagliarino, and Romeo searching his cell phone contact list from 1999 so he can ask for more donations for his NJ Equity Charity Walk, we can’t be sure that the men and women in orange will pull a Chadtrick, and forfeit three straight games. However there is hope as Gina should be there, since she wasn’t at Michelle’s and Derek’s wedding. (BTW, I was, and it was awesome!).
BTSH Fashion Alert – Denim Demons Debut Throwback Jerseys
August 7th, 2013
Dateline: Tompkins Square Park
The Denim Demons debuted their new “throwback” jerseys today, a nod to the league’s hipster beginnings. Modeled above by Captain Adam “Blue Steel” Rubens, the new jerseys will be worn during this year’s 3rd annual Coney Island moustache-waxing contest and the BTSH playoffs. Proceeds from sales of the jerseys will go to the the Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can’t Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too.
