Week 3 Photos
April 16th, 2013
Week 3 Boxscores
April 15th, 2013
Mathematics 4, Cobra Kai 0
Math goals by Adam Langer, Eli Kazin, Justin Perras and Nathan Norris. Shutout by Will Gahagan
Zach and Nathan’s Mom subbed in, ensuring that Math would have their contractually obligated number of Norrises on the court. Or as Abby likes to call them “the Norrii”
Happy Little Elves 2, Mega Touch 1 (OT)
Elves goals by Trevor Beauclair and Chris Tennekoon. Mega Touch by Adriano “Chairman Emeritus” Bratta
Tennekoon’s late score makes the Elves OT winners for the second week in a row. Katz switches the team diet to Ike & Mikes.
Butchers 3, Tompkins Square Riots 1
Butchers goals by Ben “ZZ Top” Bloom(2), Arthur Revechkis. Riots goal by Craig Thompson.
In a show of love and devotion, referee Derek T. awards the Lady Byng to Eli (even though we aren’t doing Lady Byng this year and Eli didn’t play in this game).
Corlears Hookers 4, Poutine Machine 1
Hookers goals by Daniello Martin (2), Wolff, Tiffany. PM goal by Ashish Nagpal.
Two late goals by the Hookers break open a tight game and give them another “W’. On a 3-game losing streak, Larsen considers trading Marian Gaborik.
Gremlins 2, Gouging Anklebiters 1
Gremlins goals by Ryan Mills (2). Anklebiters goal by Zack Papper.
The Gizmos upset the Pound Puppies. Phil blames team hangovers (phil also credits team hangovers when they win).
Skyfighters 3, Gut Rot 2
Skyfighters goals by Greg Infanti, Olivier Brassard, Yehuda Bloom. Gut Rot goals by Matt Workman and Tom.
Unlike the other Brassard in New York, Olivier is still scoring.
La Famiglia 3, Filthy Gorgeous 1
La Famiglia goals by Denis Miceletto (2), Shafiq Perry. Filthy goal by James Periera.
But where is the second line scoring guys? Eds. Note: This was a seriously entertaining game to watch. Kudos to both sides.
LBS. 2, Dark Rainbows 0
LBS. goals by Karsten Pichon, Ken Poulin.
Seriously, LBS? Goals by Karsten & Ken? Isn’t that getting old?
Fresh Kills 2, What the Puck 1
Kills goals by Liz Campbell, Nick Scott. WTP goal by Sal Malguamera.
On the otherhand, in the baby bowl, WTP handily beat the Kills.
Rehabs 2, Denim Demons 2
Rehabs goals by Eric Ruben, Robert Blandi. Demons goals by Jeff Kamen, Brian Kubovcik.
Tied after shootout. Outstanding performances by both goalies in this one.
Week 3 Previews – Part 2
April 12th, 2013
GAME OF THE WEEK
What the Puck at Fresh Kills
5:30 pm, East Court
Has anyone checked out that cool new “league History” section of the site? No? Go have a look, I’ll wait.
Oh, you’re back. Did you notice the same thing I did? Not only are these two of the longest running franchises in league history, they’ve also combined for a significant number of league championships over the years. I’m not saying this is a Habs-Leafs rivalry (mainly because WTP have won a championship while Suvin Malik has been alive. Yes! Nailed it.) but it’s always a tight, competitive match when these two sides throw down. They’ve also met up in the playoffs quite a bit over the last couple of years (with the Kills having the edge). So don’t expect Zimm to have to do much to fire up the troops.
If we call this the BTSH “Hall of Fame” Game will at least some of you stick around to watch it? Come on, do it for Cory. Who doesn’t love Cory?
Mega Touch at Happy Little Elves
1:00 pm, West Court
Game of the Week? More like “Game of the Century” At least that’s the way Rich Glanzer has been describing the Elves OT win against the Hookers last week. Word is he’s asking Kurt Russell to shave his head so he can play Richie in the movie version.
But when you fly that close to the sun be careful that your wings don’t melt, Elfin folk. It wouldn’t surprise us if young bucks like Ryan Nakahara and Trevor Beauclair start looking past this game (settle them down Gil). Even Sarah Torenten and Jenna Cruff were overheard talking trash to Courtney Stoutamire in the bar last week. It was like a bizarre cross between The Mighty Ducks and Mean Girls (and we’re not talking about Ben Chadwick’s spec script here).
Time for some veteran leadership to step up and upset the upsetters. Julie Katz has had her whole team on a twizzlers only diet (with the exception of Eric Devlin who’s been chewing nothing but broken glass). She even got Adriano to participate by telling him it was “pasta dolce rosso”. If she can keep the Megas on a sugar high until 2 pm Sunday it may be bad news for the Elves.
Butchers at Riots
2:00 pm, East Court
The biggest battle here may be over who gets to wear their burgundy shirts. Sorry, Butchers, but as the home team it’s the Riots pick. But not to worry. Ben Bloom has informed the press that the Butchers will be debuting their “7th jersey” during this match. He also mentioned something about going with an “ombre” but we’re not sure if he was referring to the shirts or his own ever-changing facial hair.
While the Butchers focus on fashion, the Riots are focused on regaining the form that they had in their first season in BTSH. All of the tools are there including the talented combo of Patrick Blohme and Alex Frenette aka the most underrated offensive pair in the league. Team Captain Amy Jones has decided to lead by example, vowing to play in at least HALF of the team’s games this year. She’s also issued every Rioter their very own mason jar of “coffee” (or whatever that stuff is she drinks. We’re not saying it will be a factor in the Riots improved performance this year. But Jones should be glad that there’s no PED testing in our league.
BTW-Rose Charities Tournament. Sign up today and Rachel will give you a big hug after her game.
Gut Rot at Sky Fighters
3:00 pm, West Court
Gut Rot Captain Peaches is employing a new strategy this year, keeping his roster a secret from the press (and apparently the league commissioner as well). So we can only guess that some combination of Tommy, Dave, Mary, Workman and the rest will show up to take on a rock solid Skyfighters squad. But it really doesn’t matter who the Rotters have on their side. The Skyfighters have Guillaume Lechasseur on their roster. And in our books, that makes them winners even before the puck is dropped.
Dark Rainbows at LBS.
4:30 pm, East Court
BTSH’s version of the 1968 Democratic Convention takes place once again. On the one side, the Rainbows, Aquarian champions of peace, love and understanding. On the other side, the LBS, polo shirt wearing, status flaunting conspicuous consumers. One team struggled to survive last year. The other won the league championship.
Picking a winner here should be a no-brainer, right? But nothing is ever simple in life (or BTSH). The Sombre Spectrums shutout La Famiglia last week and are starting to look like the Rainbows team that won the league championship a few years back. We’re not saying Ariel Kipnis is the second coming of Jesus (aka Trevor). But he gives the Rainbows a fighting chance in any game.
For the LBS., it’s still all about the ageless duo of Karsten Pichon and Ken Poulin. At least that’s what they want opposing teams to think. But as a student of the LBS. play over the last couple of years, we can tell you that Sam Anthony has been the perfect setup man for the Karsten and Ken bromance as well as being a rock on defense. As long as these three keep taking their Geritol, LBS. are still a legitimate championship contender.
Week 3 Previews – Part 1
April 11th, 2013
Mathematics at Cobra Kai
1:00 pm, West Court
by Abby “Not Injured Just Resting” Meistermann
Maybe it’s because former-co-captain Meredith Sladek has taken this year off or maybe it’s because Mark Talerico (or however you spell it) has been working Sundays, but the start of the season has not been kind to Cobra Kai. Sure, Rem “Orange Crush” Garavito Bruhn is off the IR and Becky Pear has been a sterling example to The Dojo’s new blood, but they just can’t seem to get that pesky ball in the net. Mathematics in contrast have won their last two games, resulting in 10 goals — only 20% of which have been scored by a Norris and none yet by Eli! Fatherhood has not softened USPS Poster Boy Andy Pratt’s shot or Justin Perras’ defense, either. If more than three subs show up for Cobra Kai, they have the talent to shut down Math. (I saw Jerry Chavez hanging out at Westside Skate & Stick a couple of days ago soliciting players so it could happen. Granted, these players may not meet the age requirement of the league. He also didn’t mention hockey… Hmm.) Otherwise, this game could signify the start of a Math winning streak.
Things to expect: CK goalie Pete Lang to scream obscenities.
Things to hope for: A Norris version of the Brady Bunch titles. I leave you to make assumptions as to who is playing “Alice.”
Poutine Machine at Corlears Hookers
2:00 pm, West Court
by Eli “I Like Wrestling” Kazin
Poutine Machine and the Corlears Hookers. The mere mention of just one of these teams generally elicits a strong negative reaction from the BTSH Universe, so putting both in the same sentence should send the fans over the edge into a cacophony of boos and catcalls. Yes, these teams are two of the biggest heels in all of BTSH. Don’t worry, Denim Demons, we haven’t forgotten about you, either…you’re on the list, too! However, no two heels are created alike, and that is clearly on display here.
Gouging Anklebiters at Gremlins
3:00 pm, East Court
by Bill “Stop Calling Me Smooth” Tucker
On the surface, Biters / Gremlins looks to be a touch lopsided. The Blue and Gold have won their first two games in convincing fashion against quality opponents. Balanced offense, stingy defense and stellar goaltending from Craig “Terrifying Old School Goalie Mask” Lacombe have led to their early success. But don’t count out the Gremlins. The Angry AMC’s are looking to avenge a brutal 6-0 drubbing at the hands of Fresh Kills in Week 2. Defense and goaltending has always been the team’s strength but they’ve only scored one goal thus far this season. To increase his squad’s offensive pop, team captain Ryan Mills has instituted the following conditioning plan: no water breaks for Jamie, all forwards are to wear SPF 150 sunblock and absolutely no snacks after midnight. Expect a gutsy performance against Donahue’s Dominators.
Dr Hunter S. Tompkin’s Official Prediction: Another reference to the 1984 horror/comedy classic, Bill? Such hackery would not stand at Rolling Stone magazine and it won’t stand here. Why not reference the charming Roald Dahl book or the Marvel comic book villain. Think, Tucker. Think. As for the contest, I see the Gremlins having a bounce back game. 2-1 in favor of the Gregarious Gizmo’s.
Filthy Gorgeous at La Famiglia
4:30 pm, West Court
by Patrick “Running Out of Things to Write and It’s Only Week 3” Larsen
You know, it’s times like this that I regret never having seen Zoolander. Why? Because these are two of the best-looking teams in the league. And I know that for Denis Miceletto and James Periera, “face-off” may mean something different this week.
Why didn’t I pay more attention when Monica was watching America’s Next Top Model?
However, I have seen Project Runway and that may be the more appropriate metaphor here. For these two teams it’s clear that in street hockey (as in fashion), one week you’re in and the next week you’re out. Both teams are a little bit desperate. Filthy are looking for their first win of the season and don’t want to be in the bottom three again. Meanwhile, La Famiglia have gone from an early favorite to what Nina Garcia would describe as “a complete disaster” losing to the Rainbows 2-0 (it wasn’t really that bad but Nina Garcia has never had a non-dramatic moment in her life). It’s a “make it work” moment for both sides.
Luckily for Filthy, team Captain Monica has seen at least seven cycles of ANTM and she knows how to get her team to “smile with their eyes”. Meanwhile, La Famiglia will struggle without secret weapon Angela Vicari. Can Dr. Alfred Liu and crew return to the Christian Siriano-like form they displayed in week 1? Or will they be sent to the workroom to clean up their stuff?
I predict a hug from Tim Gunn for the Puglian Puckmasters. Filthy Gorgeous 3 – La Famiglia 2
Rehabs at Denim Demons
5:30 pm, West Court
by Rich “Mr. Nostalgia” Glanzer
Remember when the Rehabs vs. Demons was a thing? It sorta reminds me of Rangers/Islanders, Yankees/Red Sox and Cena vs. Miz. It was nice while it lasted, but its just another game now.
Week 2 Boxscores – A Good Week for Goalies
April 9th, 2013
Rehabs 5, Cobra Kai 0
Rehabs goals by Sena Ito (2), Jeff Nugent, Kevin Hurley, Showtime. Shutout by Seannac Onwaye (unconfirmed)
We’d normally congratulate Sena on a multiple goal game but she mistook me for Rich Glanzer at the Season Opening Party. Expect bad press all year Sena.
Gouging Anklebiters 3, Butchers 1
Biters goals by Derho, Caroline Morrisey-Bickerton, Alex Owen. Butchers goal by Dave Rogovich.
Anklebiters trivia – Derho is listed on their roster as “AA” which Phil swears stands for “Alternate Alternate Captain” and not a warning to the bartenders at ACE.
LBS, Inc. 3, Filthy Gorgeous 1
LBS goals by Karsten Pichon(2), Tommy Capotosta. Filthy goal by Sunny Mehra.
Last year we managed to spell Karsten’s name over a dozen different ways. Sascha did not find this funny.
Denim Demons 5, Tompkins Square Riots 3
Demons goals by Jeff Kamen (4), Zack Tinkelman. Riots goals by Patrik Blohme (2) and Alex Frenette.
Note to other BTSH squads. You might want to double team Jeff Kamen.
Dark Rainbows 2, La Famiglia 0
Goals by Josh Wilson and Bryan Harris. Ariel Kipnis with the shutout.
Looks like the Rainbows are back.
What The Puck 5, Mega Touch 1
WTP goals by Skuse (2), Celine de Jeux, Tom Macdonald, Darrell Hartman. Mega goal by Alex Eben Meyer.
Celine de Jeux is our second favorite French Canadian name in BTSH this year. (#1? Guillame LeChasseur)
Happy Little Elves 6, Corlears Hookers 5 (OT)
Elves goals by Garrett (2) Carrino, Anthony Sigreti(2), Chris Tennekoon, Rob Walsh. Corlears goals by Sam (2), Tiffany, Kevin.
Probably not the last time you’ll read about this game on the blog.
Mathematics 6, Gut Rot 4
Math goals by Andy Pratt(2), Zach Norris, Derek Tagliarino, Adam Langer, Liz Hirsch. Gut Rot goals by Tom Caldwell (2), Mark, Larry.
Not sure where that puts Zach in the Norris family scoring race. And, yes, Eli is tracking it.
Fresh Kills 6, Gremlins 0
Goals by Ariel Imas(2), Alice Bertoni, Eugene Rha, Dave Soko, Justin Ross. Patrick Barch with the shutout.
A rough day for the Mogwais.
Sky Fighters 1, Poutine Machine 0
Goal by Olivier Brassard. James Stein with the shutout.
Fighters celebrate, Poutine comisserates and the refs struggle to spell Brassard’s name (Seriously guys? Olyviay?). Just be glad Melanie Chmieloweic didn’t score.
