btsh.org

With the first round of the playoffs now gone, only the elite eight of BTSH remain. To whet your appetite for this Sunday, we have taken the liberty of dissecting the key storylines for each game. We welcome all comments and opinions at themajordeegan [at] yahoo [dot] com and/or derektag [at] gmail [dot] com, however, please do not be pecksniffian.
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(1) Corlears Hookers vs. (8) Rehabs
Synopsis: After learning of his teammates’ disparaging comments about him, Brendan ‘Dutch’ Kearney elected to skip the Corlears Hookers’ first round matchup, a decision that almost cost them a chance at the championship. Without their leading scorer, the Hookers struggled to beat a charged up Gouging Anklebiters squad. Meanwhile, the Rehabs jumped out to an early lead versus Filthy Gorgeous and held on for a tight one-goal victory. The Rehabs are peaking at the right time, as their last loss was against Cobra Kai on the last weekend before the summer break. Have the Hookers weathered their one big scare of the playoffs or will the Rehabs be able to take advantage of the now exposed chinks in the Hookers’ armor?

2007 Result: Week 2 – Corlears Hookers 3, Rehabs 1

Eli’s Pick: Rehabs. J.P. Chaput has been unstoppable of late, and the Con Ed/Feldman line is due for a big game.

Derek’s Pick: Dutch actually plays this one, giving the Hookers the extra man power to defeat the Rehabs.
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(2) Unicorns vs. (7) Fresh Kills
Synopsis: Fresh Kills recorded an impressive first round victory against LBS, holding league scoring leader Ken ‘The Alpha Male’ Poulin to one goal, while the Unicorns rallied to stave off the upset attempt of the Sky Fighters. Hector ‘$howT!m3′ Melendez offered the following statement shortly after his team’s first round victory: “Fresh Kills are going down! Brice must die!!!” It should be noted, however, that $howT!m3’s initial quote was “Rehabs are going down! Romeo must die!!!” when he was under the impression that the Unicorns would face the Rehabs in the quarterfinals. The Unicorns might not understand how playoff brackets work, but they are
still a dangerous team, as their 4-0-1 record in their last five meetings with Fresh Kills shows.

2007 Result: Week 1 – Unicorns 4, Fresh Kills 1

Eli’s Pick: Unicorns. The Unicorns have Fresh Kills’ number, and $howT!m3 has already predicted on the Battledome that the Unicorns will win 3-1.

Derek’s Pick: Fresh Kills. The Unicorns were bounced from the playoffs in an upset last season, and I refuse to pick against Fresh Kills again.
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(3) Dark Rainbows vs. (6) Pork Fried Rice
Synopsis: After Denis Monty made a surprising return for Pork Fried Rice in their first round win against the Mathematics, there are rumors circulating that several others may return to the fold, including Mariusz Czerkawski, Pat Verbeek, Dion Phaneuf, and Manon Rh≠aume. As PFR looks to add another superstar, the Dark Rainbows are still happy to toil in anonymity, knowing they have a supernatural force guarding the net. In this classic example of science versus nature, only one team will survive. On a side note, this game was originally scheduled to be played at 4 PM, but had to be moved up one hour so that Ant ‘Father Time’ Ventolieri could catch the early bird special at Tony’s on 38th Street.

2007 Result: Week 9 – Dark Rainbows 3, Pork Fried Rice 2

Eli’s Pick: Pork Fried Rice. Ant makes the early bird special and celebrates victory with a bowl of strained peas and a jello square.

Derek’s Pick: Pork Fried Rice. Hat trick for Pat Verbeek.
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(4) What The Puck vs. (5) Denim Demons
Synopsis: Despite his tendency to choke in the final minutes, Roderick ‘Guy LeDouche’ Cruz blanked the Tuques in What The Puck’s first round matchup. After losing five of six games, the defending champs seem to have righted the ship, winning two games in a row. Even with the absence of playoff legend Ellery ‘The Nature Boy’ Gillette, the Denim Demons defeated the Bad
Touch, a victory that saddened many league members. Corey ‘Chongo’ Winters of What The Puck made several comments regarding the Denim Demons, but none could be understood through his thick Canadian accent.

2007 Result: Week 17 – What The Puck 6, Denim Demons 4

Eli’s Pick: What The Puck. This is my “Lead Pipe Lock” of the week.

Derek’s Pick: What The Puck in my “Shoe In” of the week (and the league rejoices!).
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FULL SCHEDULE SUNDAY 14 OCT. 2007

12pm-C2: Mathematics vs. Mighty Squirrels
1pm-C1: Bad Touch vs. Tuques
1pm-C2: Unicorns vs. Fresh Kills
2pm-C1: Cobra Kai vs. Mexican Standoff
2pm-C2: What the Puck vs. Denim Demons
3pm-C1: Pork Fried Rice vs. Dark Rainbows
3pm-C2: Filthy Gorgeous vs. Gouging Anklebiters
4pm-C1: Lbs vs. Sky Fighters
4pm-C2: Corlears Hookers vs. Rehabs
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– btsh womens meeting tomorrow, thurs. at 6pm at the delancey (delancey street by attorney).
– btsh discussion group tuesday 16 oct. at 7pm at parkside lounge, houston at attorney.
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LISTINGS

you have to put “btsh listings” in the subject line, otherwise there’s a good chance that i’ll miss your listing!
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[bw]

BTSH WEEKLY RECAP – 30 SEPT. 2007
by Eli Kazin

Despite the higher seeds winning nine of the ten games on Sunday, the largest margin of victory for any team was three goals, and some of the favorites were given a scare. Catch me at the courts, the bars, or email me at themajordeegan@yahoo.com with anything noteworthy. Onto the results…
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The Games
FIFTEEN IS ENOUGH. Robert Kucera, Martin Cejka, and someone named Jules each scored a goal as the eighteenth seed Sky Fighters defeated fifteenth seed Mexican Standoff, 3-1. With the victory, the Sky Fighters ended a fifteen game losing streak and earned an opening round matchup with the second seeded Unicorns. Ben Bloom scored the lone goal for Mexican Standoff.

POP A 40 AND CHECK YOUR ROLLIES. Nick Gardella scored the game-winning goal in double overtime (assisted by Zach ‘Cryme Tyme’ Weiner) to lead the sixteenth seed Gouging Anklebiters past seventeenth seed Cobra Kai, 3-2. Jeremy Schumacher staked the Gouging Anklebiters to the early lead with two goals, but Mariko Nakatani and Ray ‘Domino’ Chan each scored a goal as Cobra Kai rallied to tie the game early in the second half. With the win, the
Gouging Anklebiters earned an opening round matchup with the top seed Corlears Hookers.

ELLERY’S RECORDS ARE SAFE FOR ANOTHER WEEK. Brice Rosenbloom scored two
goals as seventh seed Fresh Kills beat tenth seed LBS, 5-3. Mike Sokolyansky, Dave Sokolyansky, and Alexandre Frenette each added goals for Fresh Kills. For LBS, who played shorthanded for the first ten minutes of the game, the goal scorers were Alexandra Chenitz, Ken ‘The Alpha Male’ Poulin, and Karsten Pichon.

J.P. CHAPUT WOULD PREFER TO PLAY FILTHY GORGEOUS EVERY WEEK. One week
after scoring two goals against Filthy Gorgeous, J.P. Chaput recorded a hat trick as the eighth seed Rehabs held on for a 4-3 victory against ninth seed Filthy Gorgeous. Ed ‘Con Ed’ Lau added a goal for the Rehabs on a midair swing at a loose ball. Joseph Pereira scored two second half goals as Filthy Gorgeous attempted to come back from a three goal deficit. James Pereira (related) also added a goal for Filthy Gorgeous.

YO, MISTER SEAVER. Chris Eng scored the game winning goal with less than ten minutes remaining in regulation as the second seed Unicorns rallied from a halftime deficit to defeat the eighteenth seed Sky Fighters, 2-1. Ryan Mills also scored a goal for the Unicorns, while Martin Cejka scored the lone goal for the Sky Fighters.

HERE IS YOUR OBLIGATORY DUTCH MENTION. Gavin ‘Dutch’s Brother’ Kearney
scored the game winning goal in double overtime as the top seed Corlears Hookers escaped with a 2-1 victory against the sixteenth seed Gouging Anklebiters. Peter ‘Purple Rain’ Putka scored the tying goal for the Corlears Hookers with sixteen seconds remaining in regulation. Phil
‘Sandy’ Donohue scored the lone goal for the Gouging Anklebiters.

DON’T…GET…ELIMINATED. Brian Vroom, Tom McDonald, and Darrell ‘Accurate Bob’Hartman each scored first half goals as fourth seed What The Puck blanked the thirteenth seed Tuques, 3-0. Roderick ‘Guy LeDouche’ Cruz registered his league-leading fourth shutout for
What The Puck.

MOVE ALONG FOLKS, NOTHING TO SEE HERE. Zack Tinkelman scored two goals,
including the game winner, as the fifth seed Denim Demons beat the twelfth seed Bad Touch, 4- 1. Dave Shyu and Steve Chernoski also added goals for the Denim Demons, while Mark Anderson scored a late goal to put the Bad Touch on the board.

WHERE DID HE COME FROM? Denis Monty returned after missing more than half the season and scored a goal, leading sixth seed Pork Fried Rice to a 5-2 victory against the eleventh seed Mathematics. Mike Taylor added two goals for Pork Fried Rice, who also received one goal each from Brian ‘Grandmaster B’ Barrett and Tim Hannon. Derek Tagliarino and Eli Kazin scored goals for the Mathematics, with Tagliarino celebrating by signing the ball with a Sharpie and then rolling it over to the Pork Fried Rice bench.

SCRAPPY SHOULD HAVE STOOD FURTHER AWAY. Josh Wilson and John Nielsen each
scored goals as the third seed Dark Rainbows doubled up the fourteenth seed Mighty Squirrels, 2-1. Dave Paglia scored the lone goal for the Mighty Squirrels.
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Nickname Nook With Derek Tagliarino
(please send all comments to derektag-at-gmail-dot-com)

Jason Rosenstock of Mexican Standoff is now the Hamburglar.
(http://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r236/mighty914/BTSH/hamburglar.jpg)
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Unsung Hero of the Week

The unsung hero for this week is Nickie Gill of the Corlears Hookers. With the goalie pulled for the extra attacker, Gill blocked a shot that was on line for the empty net, keeping the margin at one goal and saving the Hookers from suffering a monumental upset.
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News and Notes

With the playoffs comes higher intensity, as two of the games involved players getting into pushing and shoving, although cooler heads eventually prevailed, and no one threw a punch [fighting will get you EJECTED from the league post-haste, and quite possibly arrested for assault – ed.]…. Jason ‘Hamburglar’ Rosenstock wore a goalie mask much like his namesake character, Jason Voorhees, wore in the Friday the 13th series…. There were rumors circulating that a person unaffiliated with the league, possibly the guy who drank from the bird fountain during the Corlears Hookers/Gouging Anklebiters game, was seen rifling through people’s belongings before biking away from the park. If anyone sees anything suspicious, please let a league official, ref or team captain know…. Marie Marberg of the Mighty Squirrels took a nasty spill in her game and possibly suffered a concussion, so please send her some get well wishes.
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Upcoming Schedule
October 7th, 2007
– No Games

October 14th, 2007
Playoff Games:
– Time and location (Corlears 1 or Corlears 2) to be determined.
#1 Corlears Hookers vs. #8 Rehabs
#2 Unicorns vs. #7 Fresh Kills
#3 Dark Rainbows vs. #6 Pork Fried Rice
#4 What The Puck vs. #5 Denim Demons

Consolation Games:
– Matchups, time, and location (Corlears 1 or Corlears 2) to be determined.
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