GEARING UP FOR 2007
January 29th, 2007hello BTSH members!
there are big changes for the coming season:
– s.b. is in retirement and bobw will be running the show, with the help of some key BTSH leaders.
– schuie will be the “director of officiators,” aka the person in charge of the refs and rules.
– the old yahoo groups list is disused – make sure that you join the new group, found at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/btsh.
– we’re working closely with the parks dept. to improve our facilities and provide a better experience for our players.
as the 2007 BTSH season is being planned out we’re proposing a number of changes. the captains will meet on feb. 3, 2007 to consider the ideas and decide on how the new season will be formatted.
some of the key proposals include:
– creating two divisions, based on last year’s season records, but including inter-divisional play.
– scheduling 16 regular season games and 4 play-off/finals games.
– allowing teams to in-bound directly on goal from the half court line when possession is granted due to a foul committed by one team.
– creating a roster cap of 26 (including the goalie).
– allowing 2 more teams (18 total) to form.
there are other ideas to consider as well, which will be posted in full on the btsh.org “battledome” discussion area. we encourage everybody to review the proposals and to let your captain know if you support or oppose any of the proposals. you can also inform your captain of your opinion on any topics that are of concern to you regarding BTSH.
a few key dates to note (to be confirmed at the captains meeting:
– MARCH 18 – SCRIMMAGE AT CORLEARS
– MARCH 25 – SCRIMMAGE AT CORLEARS
– APRIL 01 – SCRIMMAGE AT CORLEARS
– APRIL 13 – DEADLINE FOR PLAYER REGISTRATION
– APRIL 14 – SEASON OPENING PARTY – PARKSIDE
– APRIL 15 – FIRST DAY OF GAMES
looking forward to seeing everybody real soon!
[bobw]
Week 22 Report
January 29th, 2007*scores/typos of the week theme:Â my seven storied years of btsh prf thinks rollerblades are gayer than filthy, 3-2 biters had to eject sander with no help from bad touch, 3-0 what the puck hung up hockey relationships after math, 3-1 unis used to ref every game for squirrels, 5-0 fresh kills is hated by all of long island thanks to cobra kai, 6-3 wtp has written thousands of emails read by no one but aaron unis and rehabs, 2-0 tuques is the only one who remembers jeff west, michael ragolia, or mso, 3-2 lbs has had enough of rainbows, 5-4 rehabs founded demons, 4-0 pfr sucked at playing lbs, 6-1
hey! leave me alone! http://www.traineaux.com/hockey/btsh.stats#gameresults
*week 22 faq -i saw some plaque in the johnsons, are you really dead? see below.
*next week WEEK 23 – 10/29/06 – FINALS
    CORLEARS  Â
12:00pm: Dark Rainbows vs. Filthy Gorgeous
1:00pm: Gouging Anklebiters vs. Tuques
1:00pm: Fresh Kills vs. Unicorns
2:00pm: Mathematics vs. Denim Demons
2:00pm: Rehabs vs. LBS 3:00pm: Pork Fried Rice vs. What the Puck
    MOFFO     Â
1:00pm: Bad Touch vs. Mexican Standoff 2:00pm: Cobra Kai vs. Mighty Squirrels
here’s the bracket: http://www.btsh.org/bruise/schedule/2006-play-off-brackets/
*lost and found from joe math: Hi, this is Joe from Math. I left my stick at the bar, was wondering if anyone happened to pick it up. It’s a bit on the short side, a Bauer stick with some blue piping. The blade has white tape on it, and one little piece of blue. jsfgraham at yahoo dot com
*next week’s party! bob says: party, sixes and eights, featuring a crazy raffle, including gear from west side stick and skate and a PBR bicycle!!!
update later this week (from beyond)!
*nobody sent me kudoses or gasfaces, so instead, my farewell from my hockey deathbed. as many of you know, i have been hockey dying for some time now. i originally contracted hockey disease after being overloaded with too many humorless, inane email reactions to these updates, and it worsened with each pfr win and monday night spent struggling to think of score themes. as i got sicker and sicker, bob took over more and more of my duties. i bequeeth onto him the role of leadership. i haven’t understood the rules in 5 years, anyway, plus he’s really calm, and he has that cart. peaches will now be official fun captain. i don’t know how that’s different from his current role. maybe we’ll give him a nice sash.
many of you don’t know me, or only know me as the person who writes these emails (i’m a lady, by the way), or as the one person in the league who doesn’t drink, or maybe confuse me with one of the league’s other more prominent brunette jews, julie on fresh kills. and while i do love every nameless, drunk, possibly-slightly-antisemetic member of this league, my love is no match for this hockey illness, which, i’m sorry to say, has taken my hockey life. i met my end at a hockspice, surrounded by loved ones.
i may return as a ghost or something, rattle my chains and teach you the true spirit of christmas, i don’t know, i haven’t really figured that part out yet. i’m pretty sure i’ll have to haunt you later this week with an email update, and then, like me, this list will die (after finals) and a new one will rise from the ashes. hey, maybe i’ll rise someday like a hockey jesus! that’d be sweet. but for now, i remain in purgatory, or at least i think it’s purgatory, because while it’s very hot, none of my old hebrew teachers are here and reagan isn’t running the show.
there are many people i would like to thank for being there for me in hockey life, like bob and amy and party peaches and not-me julie, but since there are so many to recognize, and i am so deep into hockey death, just know that i appreciate everyone for turning something i thought of when i was 21 into a legitimate downtown institution. as i hockey die, i hockey live on. if not on this earthly plane, or even in your hearts, on the wall of the johnsons and on the pavement of corlears hook park.
enjoy the party next week, and i pity the sucker in charge of drink tickets. you guys can be such assholes! to which i say, god bless you, every single one.
peace in the middle east, sb
Week 16 Report
August 8th, 2006*scores/typos of the week
theme: what we shall do on our free sundays
rehabs hit ac with lbs, 5-1
math went to confession regarding wtp, 9-3
biters made brunch for msq, 3-3
rainbows saw that pirate movie with demons, 5-4
pfr read the sunday times to killers, 3-0
filthy tivo’d entourage for bad touch, 8-1
unis didn’t have to schlep to tuques, 5-1
mso slept through chupacabra or whatever, 3-0
in the all star, red had a life instead of black, 4-2
*week 16 faq
-how much will you enjoy not writing these emails for a while?
so very much, you have no idea.
*next week
no hockey til september! ya heard me.
*lost
from joe math:
Hi, at Sunday’s game (Jul 30th) my girlfriend lost an Old Navy, black frontzip sweatshirt, probably a size S, either at Corlears or the Johnsons. if you found it, write jsfgraham at yahoo dot com
*kudos/gasface
kudos:
-sarah demons, on the scene
my sister, who works in a hospital ER, calls motorcycles organ donor machines, and now we all know why. big ups to sarah (and bob, natch, and anyone else who might have helped out that i wasn’t told about) for taking time to help a guy in need and putting the all-star game on hold.
-fresk kills post-game beer hockey
for those of you who are new to hockey, know that this is what ye olde btsh was all about–Â bad hockey, beer, and good times.
-lessy, for his katherik wedding present
it’s easy keeping secrets when yr many miles away, but i’m glad that i don’t have to hide the lessy project any longer. says katherine: “I wanted to extend a special thank you to Jeff Lessy and the whole league for their contributions to the farewell photo album / collection for Erik & me that we received at the All-Star game. We are really really moved and feel so lucky to have played with such great, warm people for the last several years. where to buy a domain name . I’m getting all choked up and stupid just writing about it, and we’re not even leaving until… after the playoffs. But thanks, thanks, thanks, and everyone’s invited to come scrimmage with us in Seattle any time.” i, for one, feel warm inside.
gasface:
-bob’s hockey rickshaw, r.i.p 2004-2006
it served us well, it schlepped like hell…au revoir, sweet hockey cart.
*showtime’s poetry corner
because i can, i am throwing the poetry spotlight on hector this week, he of the post-game entertainment. this is his email, unedited, soon to be in the anothology of best american poetry 2006.
i got so hurt im up in work with a sling.
my brother won
it was m-murda vs. showtime and murda won….
anyways , see ya round
-showtime
*listings
-from john gazley habs:
if anyone knows someone looking for a room in williamsburg, I’m looking for somebody for 9/1 move in:
-2 blocks from 3rd stop on L train, graham ave
-1 bdrm available in 3 bdrm apt with 1 guy and 1 gal
-room is approx 10′ x 12′ with a good sized closet
-2nd floor apt
-apt is very new/clean
-cable/internet
-60″ TV
-$800/month + utilities (about $75/month)
-$1200 sec dep to move in
give me a call: 646-319-8075
-from me:
Saturday August 19th
1:30pm “doors”
2 > 6 show
Free admission
East River Music Project
in cooperation with NYC Parks & Recreation
and New York Noise
presents
BLUES CONTROL
FERN KNIGHT
EXCEPTER
CLOGS
East River Park Amphitheatre NYC
just south of the Williamsburg Bridge on the Manhattan side
subway: F or JMZ to Essex / Delancey
an aerial view:Â http://tinyurl.com/95jmh
Our next show will take place on Saturday, September 16th, featuring Love as Laughter, Professor Murder, The End of the World, and more.
sb
Week 15 Report
August 1st, 2006*scores/typos of the week
theme: rumless coke. d’oh.
pfr added lime to mso, 5-4
filthy floated wtp, 2-1
habs mixed pop rocks with lbs, 2-1
math decaffienated demons, 4-2
tuques made nothing and tonics for msq, 4-1
biters remembered ok soda to unicorns, 4-3
rainbows longed to get drunk with bad touch, 8-0
kills snorted motion, 4-2
*week 15 faq
-is the season break coming up? doesn’t that mean a party? and an all star-game?
but of course. the all-star game on 8/6 is being organized by brian “class action lawsuit” barrett of pfr and is already in the works, and the mid-season party is going to be a rockaway beach bbq/seaside scrimmage/maybe amy&greg party on saturday, 8/5, the day before the all-star game. bobw is organizing and will have details soon.
*next week
8/5/06
ROCKAWAY BEACH
2:00* PM Midseason Party
bbq/seaside scrimmage/maybe amy&greg party that bobw is organizing– details soon
WEEK 16: 8/6/06 – BBQ DAY / LAST SUNDAY BEFORE AUGUST BREAK!
WEEK 15: 7/30/06
CORLEARS
3:00 PM Mexican Standoff vs. Pork Fried Rice
3:00 PM What The Puck vs. Filthy Gorgeous
4:00 PM LBS vs. Rehabs
4:00 PM Mathematics vs. Denim Demons
5:00 PM Mighty Squirrels vs. The Tuques
5:00 PM Unicorns vs. Gouging Anklebiters
6:00 PM All-Star Game
MOFFO
3:30 PM Bad Touch vs. Dark Rainbows
4:30 PM Fresh Kills vs. Henry Motion
*so there’s going to be a post-game wrestling match on sunday.
like i could make this up. from hector unis (excuse all the caps, i’m too lazy to fix it):
L.E.S.W.F VS. B.T.S.H HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP SHOWDOWN
representing l.e.s.w.f is the Hardcore champion John Body VERSUS b.t.s.h/unicorns Hector “showtime” melendez
INFORMATION:
Corlears Park (JACKSON / CHERRY ST)
EXPECTED TIME TO START 7PM.
* give or atke because of the B.S.T.H allstar game
try to arrive by 6:30 – 6:45pm..
* im asking for everyone to donate atleast $5.oo because for this event the l.e.s.w.f champion is coming from florida
*BRING A WEAPON THAT ISNT SHARP OR TOO LARGE AND WE WILL USE IT DURING THE MATCH
*LETS MAKE THIS FUN,MAKE/CREATE A LARGE SIGN….THEIR WILL BE PICTURES AND VIDEO TAPE TAKEN OF THE EVENT….IF U WOULD LIKE A COPIES SENT VIA EMAIL THEN LET ME KNOW.
*I AM LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO BE MY MANAGER( FEMALE ) LET ME KNOW IF UR INTERESTED AND I WILL REPLY BACK IF YOU ARE ACCEPTED.
THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT, AND CHECK YOUR EMAILS DAILY FOR ANY NEWS FROM MYSELF AND L.E.S.W.F AND B.T.S.H
HECTOR MELENDEZ
A.K.A
SHOWTIME
PS: SIGN IDEAS
1- WE LOVE SHOWTIME / I LOVE SHOWTIME
2- WILL U MARRY ME SHOWTIME
3- BE CREATIVE AND MAKE YOUR OWN….PLEASE MAKE SUM JOHN BODY SIGNS
*found
Found 2 lefty sticks in Mid June at Coliers. Last chance or I am giving them away. 1 Sher-wood 5030 and 1 Bauer Impact 100. please e-mail fgraziano at hotmail dot com
*kudos/gasface
kudos:
-sascha, for also having a birthday
sorry you missed the listing/your calling as a goalie. but happy birthday to all sunday partiers, goalie or no.
-anonymous net help
bob is ever so happy.
-funtime name changes
henry motion is now cobra kai? was goonies really taken?
gasface:
-aforementioned rumless coke.
hey, i’m a lifelong dc drinker with the ulcers to prove it, but have we learned nothing from new coke? or captain morgan?
-more ref abuse
i will blame this on the heat, especially since it can’t be blamed on rum. what the hell is wrong with you people? rule 15, dicks. look it up.
-brian barrett. i don’t even know where to begin.
first, he was the king of b’romance, feeling up his manfriends at the johnsons (after a pbr or eight). now i hear that yesterday he was an equal opportunity groper, grabbing at body parts willy nilly. the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, brian. actually, that’s the second step after letting go of lindsay’s ass. serious party foul.
*lessy’s poetry corner
it’s back! every sunday, jeff lesser of fresh kills writes me a much-appreciated wrap-up of the day’s events. i have decided, with his permission, to share the highlights with everyone as long-form poetry (which doesn’t involve having to adjust the original format one bit).
For those lovely ladies who may be looking for love, The single men of Fresh Kills would like to invite you over to join us for a drink at the courts on Sunday. We are all very nice and thoughtful and educated and employed.
We dont discriminate regarding height, weight, race, drugs or disease, well, maybe disease…
I am the good looking gentleman, #25…
-j. lesser
*listings
-from rob msq:
It’s Rob’s, the goalie for the Mighty Squirrels, Birthday. So, he’s doing a
show at the Parkside Lounge!
Come on by!
The Rob and Mark Show (Rob Gorden and Mark Douglas)
www.myspace.com/therobandmarkshow
Present
Rob’s Birthday Show!
Friday August 4th
8PM
At
The Parkside Lounge
317 East Houston Street (Btwn B & C)
$5
Special Guests Nick Stevens (ESPN) and Dan Allen (Comedy Central)
Hope to see you!
-from ski motion:
I need a 1BR or studio apartment that allows pets ASAP. Looking to spend no
more than $1200.
-from chris filthy-g
say no to cracks! to get the cracks fixed at Corlears, the parks department recommends calling 311 and opening as many complaints as possible; mentioning that the cracks make the courts dangerous to play on will behoove the city to fix them in no time! here’s what you do, and you can do it all anonymously:
call 311, and say you want to open a complaint about the ball park inside Corlears Hook Park, located on Jackson bet. Cherry/FDR; that there are big cracks (6-8in wide) in the courts that “make them dangerous to play on”. they’ll give you a case number which you can call back with after 14 days to hear the decision.
sb
Week 13 Report
July 18th, 2006*scores/typos of the week
theme: the heat, as i can think of nothing else
filthy fanned pfr, 7-3
rehabs went to see that al gore movie with wtp, 5-2
demons opened a hydrant for henry motion, 2-1
unicorns sweated kills, 2-2
tuques choked on garbage fumes from bad touch, 11-2
math smelled like mso, 9-3
rainbows heated anklebiters, 8-2
lbs thanked god they moved away from nyc and squirrels, 4-2
*week 13 faq
-i heard rumblings of a free rum and coke day. is this just bullshit? cuz it sounds like bullshit.
nay! coke zero wants your demographic (boozin semi-employed people?), so they’re coming by on the 30th with some free product, and we’ll have the rum if anyone wants to mix’n’match.
*next week
WEEK 14: 7/23/06
CORLEARS
3:00 PM Pork Fried Rice vs. The Tuques
3:00 PM Filthy Gorgeous vs. LBS
4:00 PM Rehabs vs. Mathematics
4:00 PM Gouging Anklebiters vs. Fresh Kills
5:00 PM Dark Rainbows vs. Mighty Squirrels
5:00 PM Unicorns vs. Henry Motion
MOFFO
3:30 PM Bad Touch vs. What The Puck
4:30 PM Denim Demons vs. Mexican Standoff
*found footwear
from lindsey unis:
john mark and i (uni’s) picked up a pair of left behind white new balance and shin guards after the game yesterday – i didn’t look to closely at them to even tell if they were guys or girls shoes. anyhow, they were next to the south court. we’ve got ’em and will bring them next game if someone claims them.
he/she can email me – woolmitten at hotmail dot com
*kudos/gasface
kudos:
-partying like it’s 1999
which, if you’re as old as i am, was college. godspeed to seth, molly, phil and brent for the chug-a-lug on sunday. now let’s all sign up for credit cards and wear our pjs to class!
and that’s all i got! way to keep it posi, people!
gasface:
-no clever tag, just getting towed sucks.
andrea msq reports that teammate gary was thanked for his goal and cooler of beer by getting his car towed, and brother lives in new jersey someplace. but at least he was probably drunk.
-the tuques– now with 100% less goaltending!
week 2 of no net help. when i asked if tom got hit by a bus, i was reminded that that’s what happened last year. hopefully he hasn’t fallen on any subway tracks lately.
-bye bye, balls
we started the season with 50, and now we’re almost out. going for the obvious joke here, but treat the balls like they’re your own, people.
*lessy’s poetry corner
every sunday, jeff lesser of fresh kills writes me a much-appreciated wrap-up of the day’s events. i have decided, with his permission, to share the highlights with everyone as long-form poetry (which doesn’t involve having to adjust the original format one bit).
this week’s poem is entitled: a good day?
I can tell you that my impressions of today at the courts can begin and end with the HEAT.
With the wind chill-or heat chill, factor, it was a cool 150 degrees today at Corlears.
Some would say (not me in particular) that any day that PFR loses is a good day. Today would be a good day.
-jeff lesser
*listings
THIS Saturday July 22nd
1:30pm “doors”
2 > 6 show
Free admission
East River Music Project
in cooperation with NYC Parks & Recreation
presents
DRAGONS OF ZYNTH
TAIKO MASALA
HOME
JONATHAN KANE’S FEBRUARY
East River Park Amphitheatre NYC
just south of the Williamsburg Bridge on the Manhattan side
subway: F or JMZ to Essex / Delancey
an aerial view: http://tinyurl.com/95jmh
sb
