btsh.org

*scores/typos of the week
theme:  bats.  cuz there’s one in my house.  now.
demons circled tuques, 9-4
habs hung from rainbows, 6-4
lbs deflected swats from squirrels, 2-0
biters ate bugs and gorgeous, 3-0
killers gave rabies to bad touch, 10-1
unis were blind to math, 3-2
pfr are covered in aids and mso, 13-3
wtp scared the living shit out of henry motion, 8-1

*week 12 faq
-are bats really covered in aids?
yes.  they can also kill you by glancing at you with their blind little eyes, and a scratch from a bat talon is ten times more deadly than a bite from a recluse spider, and their teeth are made from solid ebola virus.
also i hate bats.

*next week
WEEK 13:  7/16/06
CORLEARS
3:00 PM    Pork Fried Rice vs. Filthy Gorgeous
3:00 PM    What The Puck vs. Rehabs
4:00 PM    Denim Demons vs. Henry Motion
4:00 PM    Fresh Kills vs. Unicorns
5:00 PM    The Tuques vs. Bad Touch
5:00 PM    Mexican Standoff vs. Mathematics
MOFFO
3:30 PM    Dark Rainbows vs. Gouging Anklebiters
4:30 PM    Mighty Squirrels vs. LBS

*kudos/gasface
kudos:
-to the anonymous soul who broke down a net without being asked.
you are so not going to hell.
-molly’s mini tv
when headbutts to the chest are that small, they’re actually kinda cute.
-johnny knoxville in the bar on sunday?
ew!  just when you thought the johnsons ick-factor couldn’t get any higher.

gasface:
-france
to use the parlance of the interweb– clowned.

*lessy’s poetry corner
every sunday, jeff lesser of fresh kills writes me a much-appreciated wrap-up of the day’s events.  i have decided, with his permission, to share the highlights with everyone as long-form poetry (which doesn’t involve having to adjust the original format one bit).

this week’s poem is entitled:  in praise of the unicorns.

At the same time as our game, the Unicorns wre busy squeaking out a big victory over Mathematics.
After years of being one of the model franchises in BTSH, The Unicorns certainly look like real championship contenders in 2006.
They have a fully loaded roster, seems like they have 100 players each week.
They have skilled forwards and defenders, their female contingent is active and aggresive.
They play with tons of heart and enthusiasm.
Although the goaltender has some emotional issues, The Unicorns are going to be a team to be reckoned with in late October!

-jeff lesser

*listings
-from showtime unis:
the weekend of the btsh allstar game.  myself and maybe 1 or more people are gonna host the 1st ever B.T.S.H VS. L.E.S.W.F (LOWER EAST SIDE WRESTLING FEDERATION).  the match will take place after the all-star game…10 min or so for each of the 2 out of 3 matches………

SHOWTIME VS. L.E.S.W.F  HARDCORE CHAMPION JOHN BODY
for the l.e.s.w.f. hardcore title

the champion is flying in from florida for the event so i wanna hook him up with something.
i was thinking that people can donate money to give him for his flying in from florida.
contact LOWADECKFYNEST at YAHOO dot COM

-from a lady named emily roth:
I am Emily Roth of Piranha Productions, we are currently producing a
sports blooper show that will begin airing September this year on NBC
and other affiliates.  We are looking for Street Hockey bloopers
and amazing hits, or just crazy stuff.  If you have anything, write me at
efroth at gmail dot com

-from me:
Saturday July 22nd
1:30pm “doors”
2 > 6 show
Free admission

East River Music Project
in cooperation with NYC Parks & Recreation
presents

DRAGONS OF ZYNTH
TAIKO MASALA
HOME
JONATHAN KANE’S FEBRUARY

East River Park Amphitheatre NYC
just south of the Williamsburg Bridge on the Manhattan side
subway: F or JMZ to Essex / Delancey
an aerial view:  http://tinyurl.com/95jmh

sb

*this week

NO HOCKEY– happy 4th/canada day!

*next week
due to world cup fever (catch it!), we’re pushing games back an hour so people don’t have to, i dunno, choose between becks and btsh.

WEEK 12 – JULY 9, 2006
CORLEARS
4pm: Tuques vs. Denim Demons
4pm: Rehabs vs. Dark Rainbows
5pm: Mighty Squirrels vs. LBS
5pm: G. Anklebiters vs. Filthy Gorgeous
6pm: Bad Touch vs. Fresh Kills
6pm: Mathematics vs. Unicorns
MOFFO
4:30pm: Pork Fried Rice vs. Mex. Standoff
5:30pm: Henry Motion vs. What The Puck

*canada day party
SAT. JULY 1, 06 – NYC vs. MONTREAL hockey game (6:30pm) and after game party (9pm)!

all of btsh is invited to the semi-annual NYC/MONTREAL ice hockey game (le calice de tabernac), featuring numerous players from btsh battling their pals from canada at the oh so air conditioned CHELSEA PIERS on SAT. JULY 1, 2006 at 6:30pm. it’s FREE! there is seating in the stands! byob o.k.!

AND everybody is also invited to the after-party at chelsea brewing company at the chelsea piers. more info: bob AT triagemusic DOT com.

*found
from fran filthy:
i found 2 Lefty Sticks at Coliers- Bauer and Sher-wood on sunday 6-18 and am trying to find the owner.
git in touch if they’re yours: fgraziano at hotmail dot com.

sb

*scores/typos of the week
theme: the gays!
biters marched with demons, 4-1
rainbows rainbowed filthy, 2-0
math boston married lbs, 2-1
rehabs watched logo with tuques, 3-0
wtp believe in life after love with squirrels, 8-1
pfr scored meth for bad touch, 8-0
unicorns were proud of henry motion, 6-1
fresh kills sodomized mso, 6-1

*week 11 faq
-why no bbq at the bbq?
peaches feared rain, which would mean low turnout, fire difficulties, and wet meats.  but minicandy bars and beer won the day anyway.  hurrah!

*next week
NO HOCKEY – JULY 4TH WEEKEND (7/2/06)!

*kudos/gasface
kudos:
-peaches and the raw foods bbq!
free food + beer = everybody wins.  thenx for cruise directing!
-sara, the sole lady unicorn
played the whole game, no breaks, as the only rep for her gender.  the horn on that one.
-not rain!
we had free food and beer, so god did not cry.

gasface:
-dicks
what, infractions?  are you serious?  like bob said, maybe we should have served the beer pre-games instead of post.  sigh.

*listings
-from Alexis Demons:
My lovely roommate’s lame-cake friend bailed on subletting her room so I am circulating her listing in the hopes that I can live with a btsh-er for one brief, shining summer.  In her words:

$625/ 1 room for summer sublet starting NOW (or July 1st) to August 31st.
Big room in huge Inwood (207th St. at Cooper St.) apartment available now through September 4th. I would be charging just 2 months rent (for July and August), even if you move in tomorrow (June 27th) and stay until September 4th.
The apartment is 1.5 blocks west of the A express train 207 St stop (approx 30 mins from 34th St); neighborhood is safe and roommates are awesome. The bedroom is furnished, and I emptied the wardrobe so you can hang clothes etc. Bedroom windows overlook an undeveloped, pretty garden and is quiet at night. There is a spare A/C unit in the closet that you can use as well.
The apt fills the whole second floor of a cute three-story house and has a kitchen (with dishwasher), dining room, living room and 1.5 bathrooms. It’s a 4-bedroom apartment, but I and one other roommate will be gone the whole summer.
I had a subletter lined up, but he had a family emergency and has to stay in CA for the summer. I’m leaving tomorrow, so my roommates will be in charge of showing the place. It’s a really great deal: cheap, big, friendly folks!

Interested?  Questions?  Email 642 at notspecial dot org.

-those parties!
THURS. JUNE 29, 06 – CANADA DAY @ MAMA BAR
SAT. JULY 1, 06 – NYC vs MONTREAL ice hockey/party
________________________________________
SAT. JULY 1, 2006 – the Zambonis playing at Freddy’s Bar, 485 Dean Street, Brooklyn. 718-622-7035.
http://www.thezambonis.com
________________________________________
SAT. JULY 1, 2006 – party at dan hertzberg’s loft
Collission Machine
97 Wyckoff Ave., Apt. 2
Brooklyn, NY 11237
Phone: 516.286.7585
Email: danielhertzberg AT yahoo DOT com
Website: http://www.collisionmachine.com/
$10 open bar (sangria and beer) or you can b.y.o.b.
art opening – live d.j.s – rooftop party – check the webpage for more details
________________________________________
THURS. JUNE 29, 06 – Canada Day party organized by Jon-Rehabs at Mama Bar
34 Avenue B (at corner of East 3rd Street)
9pm ’til midnight
* LABATT BLUE & CANADIAN CLUB SPECIALS!
* FREE POUTINE WILL BE SERVED
* CANADIAN TUNES ALL NIGHT
* WEAR RED & WHITE
—————————-

SAT. JULY 1, 06 – NYC vs. MONTREAL hockey game (6:30pm) and after game party (9pm)!

all of btsh is invited to the semi-annual NYC/MONTREAL ice hockey game (le calice de tabernac), featuring numerous players from btsh battling their pals from canada at the oh so air conditioned CHELSEA PIERS on SAT. JULY 1, 2006 at 6:30pm. it’s FREE! there is seating in the stands! byob o.k.!

AND everybody is also invited to the after-party at:

TRIBECA CINEMAS and BAR
54 varick st. (at laight st. at the interesection of canal and varick/7th ave.)

$20 open bar from 9pm-midnight (beer and wine)
free hockey movies from quebec screening in the theater! (les boys, lance et compte, etc. – english subtitles)

for more information contact bob AT triagemusic DOT com.sb

SAT. JUNE 24, 06 – COLLISSION MACHINE
SAT JUNE 24, 06 – THE ZAMBONIS @ FREDDY’S BKLYN
SUN. JUNE 25, 06 – BTSH BBQ @ CORLEARS
THURS. JUNE 29, 06 – CANADA DAY @ MAMA BAR
SAT. JULY 1, 06 – NYC vs MONTREAL ice hockey/party
________________________________________
SAT. JULY 1, 2006 – the Zambonis playing at Freddy’s Bar, 485 Dean Street, Brooklyn. 718-622-7035.
http://www.thezambonis.com
________________________________________
SAT. JULY 1, 2006 – party at dan hertzberg’s loft
Collission Machine
97 Wyckoff Ave., Apt. 2
Brooklyn, NY 11237
Phone: 516.286.7585
Email: danielhertzberg AT yahoo DOT com
Website: http://www.collisionmachine.com/
$10 open bar (sangria and beer) or you can b.y.o.b.
art opening – live d.j.s – rooftop party – check the webpage for more details
________________________________________
THURS. JUNE 29, 06 – Canada Day party organized by Jon-Rehabs at Mama Bar
34 Avenue B (at corner of East 3rd Street)
9pm ’til midnight
* LABATT BLUE & CANADIAN CLUB SPECIALS!
* FREE POUTINE WILL BE SERVED
* CANADIAN TUNES ALL NIGHT
* WEAR RED & WHITE
________________________________________
SUN. JUNE 25, 06 – BTSH BBQ @ CORLEARS, 5pm till we run out of food and beer!
________________________________________
SAT. JULY 1, 06 – NYC vs. MONTREAL hockey game (6:30pm) and after game party (9pm)!

all of btsh is invited to the semi-annual NYC/MONTREAL ice hockey game (le calice de tabernac), featuring numerous players from btsh battling their pals from canada at the oh so air conditioned CHELSEA PIERS on SAT. JULY 1, 2006 at 6:30pm. it’s FREE! there is seating in the stands! byob o.k.!

AND everybody is also invited to the after-party at:

TRIBECA CINEMAS and BAR
54 varick st. (at laight st. at the interesection of canal and varick/7th ave.)

$20 open bar from 9pm-midnight (beer and wine)
free hockey movies from quebec screening in the theater! (les boys, lance et compte, etc. – english subtitles)

for more information contact bob AT triagemusic DOT com.
________________________________________

*scores
theme: renegade craft fair!
mso embroidered squirrels, 1-0
wtp silkscreened some owls onto tuques, 7-2
pfr filled their tote bags with henry motion, 7-1
rehabs spun wool from fresh kills, 2-1
lbs dragged their boyfriends to dark rainbows, 8-1
unicorns sweated like hogs while looking at filthy, 1-1 in OT
demons made bad touch, 10-0
math diy’d for anklebiters, 8-0

*week 10 faq
-what’s on the menu for the bbq next week?
tentatively: hot dogs (veggie and meaty), chips, beer, and watermelon. as for any other meats/unmeats, if you bring ’em, we can grill ’em. or burn ’em, but close enough.

*next week
WEEK 11: 6/25/06
CORLEARS
3:00 PM Denim Demons vs. Gouging Anklebiters
3:00 PM Filthy Gorgeous vs. Dark Rainbows
4:00 PM LBS vs. Mathematics
4:00 PM The Tuques vs. Rehabs
5:00 PM Mighty Squirrels vs. What The Puck
5:00 PM Pork Fried Rice vs. Bad Touch
MOFFO
3:30 PM Unicorns vs. Henry Motion
4:30 PM Mexican Standoff vs. Fresh Kills
2-6 PM COURTSIDE BBQ! DIGGIT!

*found/new lost and found page:
from fran filthy:
found 2 lefty sticks yesterday. Bauer and Sher-wood if anyone is looking for them. fgraziano at hotmail dot com

from bob w:
http://www.btsh.org/bruise/info/lost-and-found/
i’ll take an accounting of what’s in the locker and post the stuff. at some
point we will give away or throw out unclaimed stuff.

*kudos/gasface
kudos:
-having ass cake, eating it, too
as much as i want to make jokes about people eating sharif’s ass(-shaped cake), this is a family organization. according to alex bad touch, however, it was “delicious.”
-respectable johnsons turn-out
i saw it with mine own eyes. even without free shit/nudity, the johnsons calls out to us, and we answer.
-ref shout out #1
erik reports that the dr/lbs game was as clean as a whistle. mazel tov.

gasface:
nobody told me any at the bar! so this is all i got.
-ref shout out #2
lessy was cranky that craig gave up a tying goal and sent the game in ot, forcing our fair ref to sweat it out (literally) for an extra 20 minutes. at least craig was probalby suffering more. and he didn’t make lessy smell his pads.

*listings
from andrea msq:
Laura, the lovely bartender at Iggy’s will be homeless coming July 1. So, if you or anyone you know is looking for a roomie please contact her at laurajduff at yahoo dot com . Rent: up to $650.

sb