btsh.org

*scores (these are from memory and not score sheets, so corrections are likely)
theme: this is boston, not LA (semi-obscure, but topical)
henry motion dropped out of preskool with fresh kills, 3-3 TIE
pfr gave gang green to demons, 6-3
unis slammed wtp, 3-0
bad touch were unsafe at any speed for mso, 2-1 (OT?)
lbs made jerry’s kids out of biters, 6-2
rainbows emptied the skulls of math 5-3
tuques said f.u. to filthy, 2-1
rehabs explained this is winning, not losing to squirrels, 7-2

*week 6 faq
-that registration form?
i’m sorry, i’m currently under water here in new hampshire.  ask alex.

*word on the street
as official league mouthpiece, here’s a not-listing i’ve been asked to spread the word about:

COME TO THE JOHNSONS’ SO THEY CAN WELCOME YOU ALREADY, DAMMIT
not enough people hang out at the johnsons after games.  what gives?  yes, it smells, but so do we.  plus the beers are cheap, the music doesn’t suck, and the bartender is rad/gives us free food (look for another free italian feast in june!).  oh, and did we mention you get a free drink with veggie dog next door at dash?  between the two establishments you can get fed, hydrated, and then possibly laid.   there’s really no excuse.

*next week
WEEK 7:  5/21/06
CORLEARS
3:00 PM    Rehabs vs. Mexican Standoff
3:00 PM    Henry Motion vs. The Tuques
4:00 PM    Fresh Kills vs. Denim Demons
4:00 PM    Filthy Gorgeous vs. Gouging Anklebiters
5:00 PM    Bad Touch vs. Mighty Squirrels
5:00 PM    What The Puck vs. Dark Rainbows
MOFFO
3:30 PM    Pork Fried Rice vs. Mathematics
4:30 PM    LBS vs. Unicorns

NO HOCKEY THE NEXT WEEK – MEMORIAL DAY (5/28/06)

*kudos/gasface
(i didn’t get s’much input, but thenx bob w and brendan h st)
kudos:
-the fk/hm tie, aka, a win/win brennifer bowl
i always find it amusing when couples on different teams play each other and fight, because i’m mean like that, but, since the brendan hm/jenn fk showdown ended in a tie, peace reigned.  dammit.
-DR’s courtside mother’s day
all i’ve been told is that it was “really cute.”  well, duh.  but yay moms, rainbows and otherwise.
-mark mcunis reffing an OT game over playing
it’s always touching when this happens.  which is pretty much never.  viva mark!

the lone gasface:
-rain
i spent saturday at a sheep and wool festival (don’t ask) in the pouring rain.  nothing like a festival to celebrate…damp wool.  the weather report has gone from wet to biblical. make it stop.

*correction
bill tuques was not, as reported last week, hit in the crotch–  he was hit in the knee.  when i was told that he sustained a “lower body injury” (with quotes, just like that), i assumed the messenger was being coy.  i regret the error/any undue attention to bill’s bikini area.

*listings
-from alec friend o’btsh:
New Yorker By Nature Tour Kick-off
This summer, your school or civic group can build community outdoors. Yellow Arrow’s text-message technology will record your ideas about outdoor design on a self-guided walking tour of Fort Greene. Then New Yorker by Nature’s team will help you apply them to your neighborhood. We’ll kick off with bargains on Brooklyn Brewery beers, SmartWater, and dessert, plus a raffle for outdoor treats like a season pass to Rooftop Films and a skating lesson. All ages can enjoy the swingset and new menu at the solar-powered Habana Outpost: Brooklyn. See newyorkerbynature.com and ecoeatery.com for details.

@ Habana Outpost
757 Fulton Street, Brooklyn, NY
Thursday, June 8, 8:00pm

sb

*scores
theme:  ben and jerry’s free cone day, today, 4/25!  if you hate free ice cream, the terrorists win!
fresh kills chunkied the monkey out of pfr, 5-3
g’anklebiters put a cherry on bad touch, 4-1
lbs ‘creamed tuques, 7-5
squirrels got filthy, 2-1 – not ice cream related, but i couldn’t help myself
wtp took a new york superfudge chunk out of rehabs, 5-4
unis banana split with demons, 2-2 tie
dark rainbows put rainbow sprinkles on henry motion, 6-1?  we’re working on that.
math gave heart disease to mso, 7-3

*week 3 faq
-it was so rainy in the morning!  are games ever cancelled due to weather?
not s’much.  if it’s raining, just prepare–  bring a garbage bag to cover your hockey bag with, a set of dry clothes, an umbrella, etc.  now, if there’s a seriously weather emergency, the kind that makes you tape up your windows and buy bottled water, we’ll talk about cancelling.  until then, game on.

*standings
bob’s got it on lockdown in the standings section.  my work here is done.

*next week
    WEEK 4:  4/30/06
CORLEARS
3:00 PM    Henry Motion vs. Filthy Gorgeous
3:00 PM    The Tuques vs. Mathematics
4:00 PM    Mexican Standoff vs. Gouging Anklebiters
4:00 PM    Rehabs vs. Pork Fried Rice
5:00 PM    Mighty Squirrels vs. Unicorns
5:00 PM    Denim Demons vs. What The Puck
MOFFO
3:30 PM    Fresh Kills vs. Dark Rainbows
4:30 PM    Bad Touch vs. LBS

*kudos/gasface
with input from jon rehabs and lessy fk.  thenx dudes!
kudos:
-bob vs bottles
bob and his broom were ready for some broken glass on the court before the bottles were even broken.  and you wonder why i have no worries about leaving hockey in his hands.
-happy lessy
jeff writes me that the mighty squirrels/filthy gorgeous game “was close throughout and both teams were well behaved and they played hockey the way it should be played in BTSH.”  it’s not just heartwarming, it’s adorable.
-pfr f’d
pfr lost?  it’s christmas in april!  and you guys should ask santa for better attendance!

gasface:
-missing my second-to-last week of hockey
at least i’ll get to drive by next week on my way out of the city.  but just in case anyone asks me where the first aid kit is or complains about a ref, i’m leaving the rental car engine running.
-tied games
are tied for being both lame and stupid.  what can you do.
-jersey confusion
if your team has a color, get a shirt in that color.  not in that color’s family, or in it’s “season,” or in a color that has one of the same letter’s as your team color, but IN YOUR TEAM COLOR.  for the english and canadian people out there, COLOUR.  i said good day!

*listings
-from me:
my second to last night in nyc!  no joke!

i-am-leaving-and-if-you-don’t-come-say-goodbye-i-will-jewish-guilt-you-to-death party
*next friday, 4/28
*10 pm
*crocodile lounge, http://www.newyorkmetro.com/listings/bar/crocodile-lounge/
it’s on 14th between 1st and 2nd, north side of the st (former home of the cellar)
it’s one of those bars where you get a free pizza with every beer, plus there’s skee-ball, so this is the closest thing to chuckee cheese this side of the atlantic center.  the person who comes in a foam suit dressed as any mascot drinks for free, i promise.

-from rebecca ex-henry motion:
so. i’m looking to visit nyc this summer, at a couple of different times.

in the interest of not wearing out my couch welcome with any particular person/people, i want to
see if any of youËœor any of your other nyc friendsËœare going to be out of town during any of the
weeks belowmentioned.

i would be willing to pay you/them in exchange for staying at their apt. i also like cats, and am
good at feeding them; same goes for plants.

the weeks i was thinking of coming are:
june 19-24ish
july 24-30ish
aug 7-13ish

as you can tell by my ishes, things aren’t so set in stone vis a vis comings and goings.
so. let me know.  rebeccaonion at yahoo dot com

-double listing from abby dd:

1.
http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/roo/154053466.html
Professional couple seeks a third to share our 2900 sqft loft. Renovated two years ago, with high ceilings, hardwood floors, exposed brick, lots of light. Digital cable/huge TV, wireless internet, new appliances.

Looking for someone until next April, with the option to continue after. No cats/dogs, smokers.
2 blocks from the R/M at Prospect Ave, 5 blocks from the F at 4th Ave./9th St. Water included, electricity, gas, Time Warner not included.

2:
This year I’m participating in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer in October. My fundraising goal is $2500 and you can go here to buy apparel and other fun stuff! Support a good cause and breasts!

sb

*scores
theme: happy birthday sister becca!
what the puck made a surprise trip to fresh kills, 5-2
tuques broke out the $8 champagne for bad touch, 3-2 in OT
rainbows share their b-day with kurt cobain’s suicide and unicorns, 3-0
filthy gorgeous got a crappy present from mso, 3-0
msq blew out anklebiters, 3-2 in OT
math wore a creepy bday crown handmade by motion, 10-0
demons were born to rehabs, 3-1
pfr aged lbs, 4-2

*week 2 faq
-was there any good hockey news this week?
liza filthy gorgeous reported that six btsh ladies went to philly this past weekend to compete in the north american usa ball hockey championship. intense! and despite having to adapt quickly to playing with helmets and checking and whatnot, they came in 5th! hot damn! so congrats to filthy gorgeous’ers liza, and dana, unicorns steph and caitlin, msq joelle, and fk’er zaileen. huzzah!

*standings
bob’s got it on lockdown here, soon to be updated. nice!

*next week
NO HOCKEY NEXT WEEK BECAUSE OF THE MATZOH/PEEP HANGOVER.

*kudos/gasface
(one each since i was absent)
kudos:
-you can’t have rainbows and unicorns without hearts
the rainbow/unicorn game marks the first time in btsh history that a ref wrote an email *praising* two teams’ sportsmanship. TAKE NOTE, LBS/PFR.

gasface:
-help my ass! (but not like that cuz my ass is fine thank you)
thanks to those who said they’d serve me up some kudos/gasface fodder but then went off to do more important shit like watch the west wing or iron their pants. hope you all like stories about trees and trucks, cuz unless some people start reporting hockey stuff to me, yr gonna have a summer’s worth of email nh reports. get on it people!

sb

*scores
theme: spring!
lbs got allergies from fresh kills, 1-0
g’anklebiters sweated on henry motion, 7-1
mathematics ate cool man popsicles with mighty squirrels, 10-0
dark rainbows walked instead of taking the train to demons, 3-2 in OT
filthy gorgeous stole some parks’ daffodils for bad touch, 3-1
rehabs gorged on marshmellow peeps with unicorns, 7-2
tuques suddenly had special feelings for mexican standoff, 4-1
pfr stopped to smell the thawing dog run with what the puck, 4-1

*week 1 faq
-can my friend who didn’t register on time register now? not may now but now now? just because i want him/her to?
no.

this gets easier every year!

*standings
after 1 week, this would be kinda dumb, but eventually you’ll be able to find them at in the standings section.

*next week
WEEK 2: 4/9/06
CORLEARS
3:00 PM Fresh Kills vs. What The Puck
3:00 PM Bad Touch vs. The Tuques
4:00 PM Unicorns vs. Dark Rainbows
4:00 PM Mexican Standoff vs. Filthy Gorgeous
5:00 PM Mighty Squirrels vs. Gouging Anklebiters
5:00 PM Henry Motion vs. Mathematics
MOFFO
3:30 PM Denim Demons vs. Rehabs
4:30 PM LBS vs. Pork Fried Rice

*kudos/gasface
kudos:
-erik and katherine on becoming hockey marriage #5!
and they met in the reffing program, just to prove that being a ref isn’t always a thankless task.
-2 days of free btsh food
you know what tastes better than pizza? free pizza. sayin.
-new team outfits on parade
mso got away jerseys, rainbows got warmup suits and mama/baby matching ensembles, and the tuques…got everyone wearing one color sort of. already better than 05!

gasface:
-watching a ref write up an entire team on the first day
where i once would’ve searched for a way to solve such issues, i now say, sayonara, suckers!
-already losing balls on day 1
when you’re hungry for free pizza in three months and there is no money for any, this is why.
-burning three people with molten cheese from one slice of free johnson’s pizza
if dubya’s taught us anything, it’s that freedom hurts. u! s! a!

*listings
from brad rainbows:
missing hockey stick– It’s a Bauer 3030 stick with red tape on the handle. any info, let me know– bradthomason at gmail dot com

sb