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Truly halfway through the season after 9 games played for most, if not all, teams, Week 10 brought some competitive divisional play with only 1 game having a goal margin greater than 2 goals (and it was only by 3).

On to the box scores…

Mega Touch 3 @ Gut Rot 1

Mega – Eric D (2), Jules (2), Inspector Jones (2)

Goalie Win – Mike T (4-3, GAA 2.08)

Rut Rot – Gilligan (1)

Goalie Loss – Peter Parker via FA

Game Notes: Julie brings ringers like Matt Jones to BTSH then calls him “inspector” so that even Alexa cannot figure it out its her Shortis teammate. Brilliant.

Pounds 2 @ Rehabs 1 F/SO

Pounds – Austin via FA

Goalie Win – Sizzler (6-1, GAA 1.86)

Shootout Winner – Avery E

Habs – Mo R (4)

Goalie Shootout Loss – Eric R (2-1-1, GAA 1.71)

Game Notes: Front runner for MVP at the halfway mark, the Pounds sub list came through again for the sterlings as they down the Rehabs in a controversial shootout. Where is the video review?!

Editor’s Note: There is no MVP award, and thus all subjective halfway mark rankings of anything in nature, such as power, are pointless. Like ranking WTP players ahead of CK players in subjective weekly or annual votes! How could The Person Writing the Three Stars do such a thing? #notmyFSOTW

Sky Fighters 0 @ Instant Karma 3

Goalie Loss – Eric R via Les Habitants

IK – Brianna V (2), Derek Zed (7), Scory Cory V (3),

Goalie Shutout Win – Max Moscow via FA

Game Notes: Instant Karma take advantage of a Sky Fighters streaking in the wrong direction to create more space in their division’s relegation zone.

Advncd Anlytcs: Similar to the pattern we noted in 2018, Brianna and Scory find the scoresheet in the same game once again. If one scores, you need to cover the other!

CK 2 @ FK 0

CK – Captain LJ (1), Captain Liam (3)

Goalie Shutout Win – Peter Parker via FA

Goalie Loss – Shawn H via FA

Game Notes: Evil Dojo take advantage of no Gabe and no Ariel to get back in the win column.

Advncd Anlytcs: Is Liam quietly the Grabner of BTSH? All I see is him scoring empty netters in every CK one goal game. I also thought he was injured. Nice to see you back!

Comic Strip: Burkhardt delivers in a back to back effort. Oh wait, that’s right, he didn’t have to play against Gabe this time. Instead, here’s probably some of the game tape that’s been passed around the CK email threads as of late…

Hookers 5 @ GANK 3

Hookers – Sarah N (2), Cro (1), Pigozzi (3), “Bill” Guerin x2 (2)

Goalie Win – Dustin O (6-0, GAA 1.13)

GANK – Derho (2), Probert (7), Chris B (3)

Goalie Loss – Max Moscow via FA

Game Notes: Down 3 to 1 halfway through the 2^nd period, the Hookers mounted an impressive 3 goal outburst inside a few brief moments to steal 2 points from their bit(t)er political divisional rivals.

Mons 5 @ Bows 4

Denim D’s – Gene (3), dRo (1), Neil Zed x3 (12)

Goalie Win – Zach L (3-1-2, GAA 1.77)

Dark B’s – Bryan L x2 (5), Jess(ica) D (1), Brett H (1)

Goalie Loss – David G (2-6-1, GAA 3.70)

Game Notes: Rainbows have another strong offensive game but still come up short, and somehow find themselves 7 points back of the Michaliga division race and only 2 points clear of…oh wait, there is nothing after the fourth division, you just stay there in a perpetual annuity, or perpetuity. Perpetuity. Perpetuity. Perpetuity. (how many years have they been down there?) perpetuity. Perpetuity. Perpetuity. Perpetuity. Perpetuity. Perpetuity. Perpetuity. Perpetuity. Perpetuity. Perpetuity. Perpetuity. Perpetuity. There, probably close enough. That many years.

IR: Gene and Neil returned for the first time in a few weeks to help the Demons get back in the win column and stay ahead of Mega Touch, who, during the Demons’ shootout losing streak, were picking up some impressive wins and closing the gap in the division race, in which they only sit 1 point behind through Week 10.

Math 3 @ Butchers 1

Math – Jackpole (5), Zach N x2 (4)

Goalie Win – David L (4-4, GAA 2.59)

Butchers – Brendan C (3)

Goalie Loss – Tim B (2-2-2, GAA 2.58)

Game Notes: Norris trophy front runner Zach has been the best Norris all season long. After a Queen benefit concert, he mentioned how much he used to score when he was a rookie. His younger brother skips town and voila, he starts scoring again. Coincidence? Probably (not).

Gremlins 3 @ Riots 1

Gremlins – Ryan M (1), Erich x2 (8)

Goalie Win – Jamie B (5-2, GAA 1.53)

Riots – David L (1)

Goalie Loss – Dave GdR (2-4, GAA 3.61)

Game Notes: Gremlins cooled off from their offensive outburst only worthy of an HM in Week 9 but still cruise past the Riots in convincing fashion in Week 10. The eye test, nor the advncd anlytcs, suggested a 3-1 scoreline.

Advncd Anlytcs: The gremlins really outplayed the riots.

Filthier 4 @ Fuzz 2

Filthier – Danielle (2), OP James (6), Sunny (6), Sean the Mule (2)

Goalie Win – Tim K (6-2, GAA 1.60)

Fuzz – Miles H (2), Teets McGee (2)

Goalie Loss – Tim Bwn (3-4, GAA 2.25)

Game Notes: Fuzz throws another game and Filthier stay resilient in their chase for the 1^st division crown, only sitting 4 points back with half a season to go.

Canucks 1 Blue Shirts 0 F/SO

Goalie Shutout Win: Kirk McLean aka Hoggystyle (4-3, GAA 1.11 all-time)

SO Winner: Trevor Linden aka Justin SM-Liga

Goalie Shutout Shootout Loss: Mike Richter aka RJ (2-3, GAA 1.54)

Game Notes: Sleeper pick game of the day, as after a long day at the courts from re-meshing nets to breaking pinatas, we had a classic NO goal OT/SO thriller between two star-crossed Michilga-now-Katz Division rivals that kept those who stuck around from the 4:30pm games (and earlier ending east 5:30pm game) entertained with writeups, disallowed goals, ejections, and one smooth divisional namesake criminal finn-holing a hapless Poo tender to cap off the day.

JW Rules Symposium aka Soapbox: What gets addressed first, too big of goalie gear in BTSH, or curved wands in Fake Zog? Or Box Scores posted to fb? He definitely wants the latter. He’ll get none of the above, however.

Someone mentioned to me that they have not read one box score post this year, or was not aware these posts were still being produced in 2019, because they aren’t “posted to fb”.

**This is also of course, to the chagrin of John “Millennial under the Flesh” Walker.

Well if that’s the case then good, because then no one (other than Gil) will know these are a week late…enjoy your July 4^th’s…we’ll have Week 10 up by week 11’s games.

On to the belated week 9 box scores…

Fresh Kills 2 @ Pounds 1

Fresh Kills – Tom R (1), Sheena W (2)

Goalie Win – Longwell via FA

Pounds – Alex Frey (4)

Goalie Loss – Sizzler (6-1, 1.86 GAA)

Game Notes: As the previews pointed out, Pounds could have used some more regular goobers of theirs for this game, with only 2 guy and 2 girl subs.

Girl Notes: Ryann wanted to note that when Pounds only had 1 guy sub and 2 girl subs, that they didn’t play with 3 girls on the court at any point in time, based on her purview p-her-view.

Guy Notes: ScottyKthe2nd was the second of two guy subs on the day for Pounds. Rumour has it he snuck on the court while Jess (and Yetter) were looking for a potential sub for Greenwald, in the event that the pink tender didn’t make his way back from a 10K earlier that day.

Gremlins 8 @ Sky Fighters 0

Gremlins – Inanimate Carbon Rod (1), Cody C (2), Tim Magic Man F x3 (6), Erich G x3 (6)

Goalie Shutout Win – Jamie B (4-2, 2 shutouts)

Goalie Loss – Peter “Parker” via FA

Game Notes: Mean reversion continues to be the story for the Sky Fighters as Gremlins make easy work of a… soon to be no longer divisional foe?

Advncd Anlytcs: Completing hat tricks with 6-0, 7-0, and 8-0 score lines is alpha.

What the Puck?! 3 @ Demons 2 F/SO

WTP – Henry B (5), Sam McI (5)

Goalie Win – Hoggystyle (1-0)

Demons – Zach F x2 (3)

Goalie Shootout Loss – Zak C

Game Notes: With a patch work lineup of subs, and 2 goals to tie the game in a 1:10 stretch in the last 2:30 of the game, WTP and Zac got the better of Demons and [the] Za/c/ch/ck’s on this day.

Rehabs 2 @ Filthier 1

Rehabs – Alex M (3), Mo R (3)

Goalie Win – Eric R (2-1)

Filthier – Ryan McL (2)

Goalie Loss – Tim K (5-2)

Poutine 2 @ Karma 0

Poutine – Brian S (2), Jonathan C (2)

Goalie Shutout Win – Longwell via FA

Goalie Loss – Max M via FA

Fuzz 2 @ Butchers 5

Fuzz – Sig (5), Gil (4)

Goalie Loss – Tim B (3-3)

Butchers – Super Fast Dave, Brendan C, Pete D’A, Jake T

Game Notes: Is this the last goal that Dave scores in a Butchers uniform? Moment of saddening front runner incoming….

Rainbows 1 @ Rut Rot 2

Dank Bows – Bryan L (3)

Goalie Loss – Greenwald (2-6)

Gut Rot – Akhil M x2 (3)

Goalie Win – Longwell via FA

Game Notes: Longwell does what he did to Hookers (while subbing for FK last year) and stymies his former fourth division team in a back and forth matchup.

Advncd Anlytcs: Who are we kidding, with back and forth matchup? The corsi ratio was like a 3:1 margin in the Rainbows’ favour. Longwell did to the Rainbows what he had done for them against teams in an era the franchise is currently trying to reclaim, and made great strides towards in fact. Will another season to rebuild in the Michaliga division prove fruitful if they can’t catch the Demons (or Mega Touch)?

Mega Touch 2 @ Riots 0

Mega – Jeff B (1), Alok (1)

Goalie Shutout Win – Mike T (3-3)

Goalie Loss – Peter Parker via FA

Hookers 4 @ Math 3

Hookers – Eleni T (3), Danilo (1), Pigozzi (2), CJ “not the running back” Anderson (4)

Goalie Win – Longwell via Cro bail out

Math – Zach N (2), Sarah Commisherr (1), Akhil via Rut Rot

Goalie Loss – David L (3-4)

Game Notes: Cro has a GAA of 10 after letting in 1 goal in 5 minutes of action during Week 9.

GANK 4 @ CK 3 F/OT

Anklebiters – “Bob” Probert (6), Sarah M (3), Jared (7), Shannon (2),

Goalie Win – Craig LaC

Cobra Kai – Alan (2), Eff Gil Ween (5), Paul B (1)

Goalie Loss – Max M via FA

Game Notes: As anticipated in a previous box score writing, CK went with a third string goalie for this game (and their fourth used this season…what next week their going to use someone else? Who runs this team? A flyers fan in search of their new Carter Hart? No, it’s probably some Devils fan who has realized they’ve wasted away the talents of their old Cory Schneider and now is running up the sunk goalie cost to Zimbabwean inflation levels)

Advncd Anlytcs: To everyone that was saying Pounds were the last/only undefeated team…. the Anklebiters ***currently*** (as of week 9, and 8GP) have a 7-0-1 record, with their only blemish coming in a shootout to Filthier earlier this year. Show your new *as of week 9* league leader in the standings some respect!