Week 6 Previews – Part 1
May 16th, 2019Dark Rainbows at Rehabs
Written by Maeby Fünke
The (real) League Sweethearts are fresh off a tight match-up against the Gremlins, which saw the Grems barely squeak by in a shootout. This is not the same Rainbows squad who went more than a season without a win, taking a fully stocked Gremlins team to a shootout shows that they are now a formidable opponent.
The ‘Bows have not seen a win since opening day, but what WAS seen on the sidelines recently was Yetter (for some strange reason) baby powdering his stick…..and accidentally spilling baby powder all over his teammate’s hoodie. This debacle earned him the nickname “Powder” (please let this stick…no pun intended). Originally I thought the baby powder was for all their new recruits, given their median age.
Jess and Tarnow have never played the Rehabs before, so they don’t realize how full their hands will be. Tia will forewarn them, but also it will become very clear within the first couple shifts.
Apparently Bernstein moved away. Fare thee well, my friend.
As for the Rehabs, they are……hmm, I am realizing I don’t know anything about the recent happenings of the Rehabs. Does anybody even care about the Rehabs anymore? Short answer: No. Long answer: Nooooooooooo.
Ok, ok, I know a bit about the Rehabs. Their girls are the best in the league. Their goalie is one of the best in the league (wait, is Ramirez still playing? I haven’t seen him). Hicks apparently had a hat trick this season (presumably due to a lack of backchecking). Hmm, what else……oh, Joey’s shop got its liquor license, check them out: https://www.joeybatscafe.com/.
The bottom line is that this team is an offensive juggernaut, give them any space at all and they’ll make you pay.
Prediction: If Cat is no longer hungover from celebrating her recent birthday then it’s possible that…..who am I kidding, this game is going to be a bigger shellacking than what has happened to the Carolina Hurricanes. (Hi Becca!)
Read the rest of this entry »The battle of New School vs Old School
May 14th, 2019By Anonymous
I wrote this article for anyone who’s new to the league or anyone who needed a reminder, because I felt like we all could use one.
There’s Moffo, there’s D5, there’s random tournaments we all attend throughout the year, but BTSH has and always will be different from the rest. For those who are new here, BTSH started in Tompkins 20 years ago as a laid back punk rock beer league. Over the years it’s gained popularity and with that, new talent.
What started as a joke, there is now Old School vs New School BTSHers. Old School being made up of the OG’s and New School mostly comprised of millennials who are young, skilled and competitive. The big debate here is that Old School wants to keep the league as laid back as possible while New School wants to push the competitive limits. There is, however, a gray area in which New Schoolers have adopted Old School ideology. I myself am one of them. New Old School people as I fondly call them. These people are good, some of them even the best in the league and although they are the younger players, they know what this league is about. It’s possible to push the competitive limits of BTSH without breaking rule number 1 (don’t be a dick).
Read the rest of this entry »Happy Mother’s Day
May 10th, 2019
2019: Week 4 Box Scores – Scoring Highlights
May 7th, 2019Thanks to the rain on Sunday, these are still on time! Woohoo!
Butchers 4 @ Rehabs 3
Pig Knifes – Mike M x2 (2), Brady C (1), Dana K (1)
Goalie Win – Peter Parker via Rose Charity underdog run
Rehabs – Alex M (2), Cherie x2 (4)
Goalie Loss – Eric R (0-1)
Game Notes: The Butchers were still in party mode from the Rose Charity tournament the night before and put in an effort that would have probably been best served in the prior season when Rehabs were a divisional foe.
Karma 4 @ Demons 3 F/SO
Karma – Bill K (1), Scory Cory V (1), Derek Zed (3)
Goalie Win – Steve F (2-2, GAA of 2.38)
Shootout Winner – Cory (again…of course)
Demons – Zach “Fine” (1), Neil Zedman x2 (9)
Goalie Shootout Loss – Zach L (2-1, GAA of 1.29)
Game Notes: Karma still doesn’t have any ROW and Neil keeps scoring. Boring. Next!
Riots 2 @ What the Puck?! 8
Riots – Katie S (1), Nick (1)
Goalie Loss – Dave GdR (1-2)
DaPucks – Hoggystyle x2 (3), Sam McI x3 (3), Henry x2 (3), Dave Mac (1)
Goalie Win – Goalie Ed (2-1-1, GAA of 2.44)
Game Notes: This game had way too many assisted (not unassisted) goals for my liking.
Advncd Anlytcs: Through week 4, WTP is the second highest scoring team in the league and tied for the most goal scorers with 10. Their balanced attacked overwhelmed a revamped Riots roster coming off their first win of the season in week 3, outscoring les rouges 6-nil in the final 25 minutes of the contest. Since Ed helped put those stats together, his GAA is now (finally) publishable.
Poutine 3 @ Mega 1
Mega – Max T (1)
Goalie Loss – Mike T (1-2)
Poutine – Jo-Ann “the” Pro. (1), Christine L (1), Jonathan “not 69” C (1)
Goalie Win – RJ F (2-0, GAA of 2.00)
Game Notes: Someone not named after a whiskey called that Christina would score. Where was that honourable* mention in the three stars post?
Filthier 4 @ GANK 3 F/SO
Filthier – Jaime D x2 (5), Greg (1)
Goalie Win – Tim K (2-1, GAA of 2.26)
Shootout Winner – Unknown (you’re going to start sensing a theme here)
GANK – Jason Bourne x2 (2), Probert (2)
Goalie Shootout Loss – Craig LaC (3-1, GAA of 0.98)
Game Notes: Jason Bourne is still trying to figure out how he arrived at Tompkins Square Park for this game of “hockey” that we play.
Gremlins 4 @ Dank Bows 3 F/SO
Gremlins – Erich G (3), Tim Magic Man x2 (3)
Goalie Win – Jamie B (3-1)
Shootout Winner – Unknown
Rainbows – Karl S (1), Yetter x2 (4)
Goalie Shootout Loss – Greenwald
Game Notes: Someone not named after a whiskey took shifts against Yetter, taking those minuses for the team(mates who didn’t want them). Maybe they scored the shootout winner, but we will never know, because the ref never wrote it down on the gamesheet.
Evil Dojo 2 @ Fuzz! 0
CK – A Greedy Provider* (1), Eff Gill Ween (2)
Goalie Win – Campbell W-W (2-0, 2 shutouts)
Fuzz – just kidding, they got shutout
Goalie Loss – Dave GdR via Pucks Riots tire fire
Game Notes: Rich sent me an angry emoji this morning and it had nothing to do with defecting from his Ocean City team. Praise the GilF on his team always asking for the box score writeups!
*This article originally had Rachel L scoring the opening goal of this game (also known as game winners in shutout wins) due to her celebration after said goal. We apologize for an untimely CK beat reporter who finally corrected us after we went to print, and praise thee Provider with a spectacular goal, which, was presumably a “pass” provided to the top corns of the twine, done in selfless fashion.**
**Okay Russ, no more a$$ ki$$ing. You have your wtpucking goal now! Stop wearing 99 you pl*g.
Sky Fighters 3 @ Rut Rot 2 F/SO
SKY – Ariel via FB Humblebrags, Greg I (1)
Goalie Win – OG James (1-2, GAA of 2.26)
Shootout Winner – Dave
Gut Rot – Rob Shhleshzzzak (1), John S (1)
Goalie Shootout Loss – Sam (0-2)
Game Notes: Are Sky Fighters actually trying to keep their players around this year by hosting Cinco de Mayo team events?
Pounds 2 @ Hookers 1
Pounds – Liz B (1), Luke (1)
Goalie Win – Sizzler (3-0, GAA of 1.67)
Hookers – Clark H (1)
Goalie Loss – Wald-Greens Goalie Emporium via Corlears Park kiddie sized gear
Game Notes: If you score the opening goal in a 2-1 win. It’s not the game winning goal. If you score the opening goal in a shutout win, then it IS a GwG. [eom]
Math 1 @ FK 2
Math – Jon M (2)
Goalie Loss – David L (2-2)
Fresh Kills – Nick Scott (1), The Euge (1)
Goalie Win – Barch Pile (1-2, GAA of 2.26)
Game Notes: The FK sub carousel finally pans out and FK grab a badly needed two points. Math did not want the two points because they were winning too many games and getting concerningly close to the top of the second division standings, even if it was only week 3.
Rain Fears Wins – Games Have Been Postponed
May 5th, 2019
