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Mega Touch at Poutine Machine

Written by Hockeyfan2379

Poutine have come strong out of the gate, going 3-0 in their first 3 contests. This is largely due to Charlotte’s stellar coaching on the sidelines, and maybe a little bit due to the fact that they poached half of the Sky Fighters’ players. Wait, Poutine are 2-1? Who beat them? I really thought they were 3-0. This whole preview is ruined now. Let’s talk about Game of Thrones instead. 

Ok, ok, back to hockey.

Mega started slow, but pulled off an upset of the Gremlins last week, handing the folks in yellow their first loss of the season AFTER THEY HAD JUST BEATEN FRESH KILLS. This contest showed Poutine that Mega cannot be taken lightly. As such, Poutine have big plans to get Julie and co. really drunk at the Rose Tourney afterparty the night before (Register here: https://rosecharities.us/). Wait, do Poutine come to Rose? I feel like I’ve never seen them there. They go to their own bar every week away from the rest of the league, do they stage their own separate tournament every year during Rose? 

Mega, on the other hand, will be at Rose in full force, numbing their aching bodies at the afterparty with free shots of Jameson until the wee hours of the morning. Which, given their age bracket, is 9pm. (I know, I know, they’ve got some new young players. But do they even count??)

Something something, Jerome, something something. Ok, is this preview done yet?

It is. 

Prediction: It stays tighter than you might think, but the end result is what you expected. Poutine wins this one, 4-2, much to the dismay of the entire league. 
On the bright side, Christina Lee scores her first goal of the season.

Butchers at Rehabs

By Richiehero

God hates you RG1. After (assumingly) doing an amazing job with the Rose Charity Tournament on Saturday, RG1, Brady and the rest of their cohorts will not only have to face the Rehabs,but also face them the first game of the day.

Rachel is going to be supremely tired because she always puts herself on the best team, so she’s going to play a lot of games. I’m starting to think Diane J., and Becky Norris don’t have as much power as Rachel does during the Rose.

Meanwhile, Hicks is going to be furious about losing yet another final for Team Michigan at the Rose. Luckily for the Rehabs this isn’t a championship game so Hicks will actually win this one. No thanks to him of course, he’ll be hungover and puke on Gordie. But Cherie will get a hat trick and the Rehabs will take this one, 4-2.

Prediction: see above.

By Steven F

Excited to bring you the first edition of Behind the Mask. Behind the Mask seeks to introduce the league to the wacky folks who suit up in pounds of gear and eagerly step in front of blistering wrist shots, the goalies of BTSH.

It is 7pm on an April Thursday and Dave G is traveling on an old school R subway car uptown from the World Trade Center to Canal Street. Dave is the goalie of the surging Dark Rainbows and referee for the league. However, today he is on his way to Chinatown for some dumplings and noodles.

On the subway he reminisces about how he started his career in sports broadcasting, calling play by play for minor league and college baseball teams. After ascending from the subway and narrowly avoiding a few cars crossing Canal Street and Mott Street, he mentions his brief stint as a traffic reporter before transitioning to a career in sales.

Friendly reminder that the Greatest Day of the Year is this Saturday, April 27th!

Online registration for the annual Rose Charities Street Hockey Tournament is still open with game day registration also available (beginning at at 9 am).

Games begin at 10 am and go until around 4 pm, followed by an awesome after-party nearby at Fish Market in the Seaport District.   It’s definitely a day you won’t want to miss.  Invite your friends, family, lovers, illegitimate lovers, rich uncles, rich aunts, harems, hotties ‘n’ hunks at work you don’t know how to hang out with without being weird–invite ’em all!

Oh, it is also for a great cause too – hugs from the lovely Rachel G and the very married Diane J-N.

Third Star

Demons’ Turnaround Season

It is no secret that the past couple of seasons haven’t been kind to the Demons.  Finding the right blend of talent and personality to fit a team’s identity can be a bit of a challenge.  But it looks like the wait has been worth it. New additions this season of Automatic Neil and BSA’s coworker (sorry I forgot your name already bro) have resulted in positives.  Through three games the Demons have scored 18 goals, allowed only 3 goals (+15 differential), sit atop the league standings, and played in the rain. Welcome back.