btsh.org

Oh yes!  Welcome to one of the best times of the year!  The weather is getting warmer, a new BTSH season is underway and the NHL Playoffs kick-off today.  In honor of this magnificent occasion the league brass and a couple misfits decided to huddle up to make predictions on how the first round will play out and who will win Lord Stanley’s Cup.  Here are our predictions.

Who will win the first round match-ups in the Eastern Conference? 

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By Richiehero

Third Star
Cobra Kai

Well played.

While the Demons were putting a scare into Fresh Kills, Cobra Kai and the defending 2018 champs (drunk Phareoux has already decreed) Rehabs went to BTSH war. Thankfully Scotty and Cheeky let them play and didn’t call ticky-tacky penalties or the totally obvious ones either. Liam scored a highlight reel goal to give CK the lead but the Rehabs came right back to tie it. Cherie made pass after brilliant pass while Hustle Loyalty Nebatz crashed anyone with the ball. Eventually Cobra Kai scored the game winning goal kind of late in the 2nd half and held on for victory. Later in October Isaac will call Cobra Kai a Cinderella team but that’s hogwash. They have enough talent to win the PBR Cup and undoubtedly will. Those aren’t my words those are Campbell’s after accepting his 2017 ROY Award at center court after their victory. Read the rest of this entry »

Since the Rainbows couldn’t’ keep up with the Hookers, they relived their defeat on Brett’s roof then unenthusiastically dined on kale and fruit as punishment.

Math and WTP scored for the first time this season with Math collecting the W.

Sky Fighters got their act together in a hurry against Gut Rot. Take that, universe. Read the rest of this entry »

Denim Demons at Fresh Kills
By Arya Stark

With Passover just about completed, the Demons are ready to blow the shofar (note to goyim: this does not mean what you probably think it does) and get back to what’s really important in life, which is Sunday ball hockey on a rink with a fence instead of boards, holes in said fence, suicidal squirrels and the trees in the field of play which house said squirrels.  It may not be as spiritually fulfilling as spending the high holy holidays surrounded by family but hey, even god rested on the seventh day and I’m told their pregame snacks and postgame Manischevitz are all K for P (I think even Menachem Begin would approve of that).  They will face the defending champion Fresh Kills who lost to the Rehabs last week and find themselves in the unfamiliar position of not having just thoroughly demoralized their opponents to the point of pants-shitting oblivion.  It was, in fact, their first non-shootout loss since the 2016 semifinals when they were eliminated by the LBS in overtime of a game which was definitely 100% for sure not at all influenced by any missed calls by the referees in any way, shape or form (phantom goal notwithstanding).  Of course, the retirements/deaths of Gabe and Ariel in the offseason haven’t helped, and a few key absences last week were most unwelcome.  No worries; they should be at relatively full strength this weekend as Soko and Sheena have decreed that Barch is not allowed to miss any further games until his next concussion.  The question is, will a well-rested Barchy be enough to stop Brad, his boatsex prowess and his cardboard-cutout wife?

Prediction: The Fresh Kills prove that they are more than capable of having sex on boats as well, leave the condoms at home, and romp to a 4-1 victory.  The Demons don’t care and are blackout drunk by 6:00 regardless. Read the rest of this entry »