btsh.org

By Hornswoggle

Fuzz (Midnight blue/electric lime)

2017: Last in the Soko Division; 9-7-2, 20pts, +3 goal differential; lost to Rehabs in the quarterfinals

The squad that was once, a long, long time ago, the brainchild of league legend Ben “Chadtrick” has been—for at least one full season—under the dictatorship of the full kit wanker Richie G. The former half of 2017 didn’t show great promise (3-5-0-1 in the front 9) but things stabilized, we suspect, when Jeff and Alexa finally tied the knot. Although having given the Gremlins a 6-0 drubbing in the Round of 16, the luck of the draw as the #11 seed didn’t prove advantageous, because they pulled the Rehabs for the quarterfinal game, gently crashing and burning to a 1-0 loss.

steM. New York City’s new number 2 baseball team.

With new co-commissioner /“pharaoh” Brian H. reuniting with Ramy on the Rehabs to make a steadfast Wolverine partnership, it potentially leaves Rich as the “strongest” person on the team. Gil reaching Yoda-age levels may be an issue as the season progresses, but he’s like a fine wine… please make sure not to lock him in a cellar, Rich.

Prediction: 2nd in the division, and they end their postseason in the quarterfinals. Read the rest of this entry »

By Arya Stark

After a long, painful and sometimes depraved four months off, the 2018 season is just about ready to get underway.  In 2017 the Third Division (aka the Katz Division aka the Welcome To The Johnson’s Division aka we really need to just settle on division names and be done with it) featured three of the league’s top six teams in points, multiple top scorers, the rookie of the year and some of the finest shotgunning and group sex this league has ever seen.  Cro and the Hookers are gone but the rest of the division remains along with a new franchise from the francophone region of BTSH.  Who will take the crown this year?  Who will be relegated to D4?  Who will drink the most?  Who will hook up with the most team members?  Answers to some of these and many of life’s other great mysteries below.

Cobra Kai
2017 Record: 13-5-0; 26 points, 5th overall, 2nd in division
2017 Pythagorean Win Expectation (based on goals for/against): 29.45 points
2017 Playoff Finish: Eliminated in the Sweet 16 by Math in a 12/5 upset.
Three Year Aggregate Points: 63 points

Slow down Olivier. You are heading over to Cobra Kai, not Gut Rot.

What’s Right: Cobra Kai rolled to a surprise 5th place finish and were in pole position in the division for basically the entire year until the final weekend of the season.  Led by LJ, Will, Liam and the ROY selection the shook the world, Campbell, they were a force to be reckoned with until the opening round of the playoffs when they were surprisingly eliminated by the 12th seeded Math.  Now they’ve added Olivier and are loaded up for another run at the division (and league) crown.  The question is, are they the heroes or the villains of their own story? Read the rest of this entry »

It is finally here.  After months of waiting, the 2018 BTSH season begins in just a couple days.  Because hype and excitement are at an all-time high we’ve decided that the moment calls for an entrance survey.  The media’s most devoted BTSHers (well, mostly) discuss their expectations, advice for rookies, futures of Gabe and Ariel, and the agave shortage.

The Beer that will make Instant Karma famous!

Q: What are you looking forward to most this season?

Walker (Gremlins): As much playing time as possible.

Cheeky (Butchers): Chilling at the greatest blacktop beach I know, playing some puck (or, I guess ball?), drinking some brews, poking fun at Glanzer, and watching the Rehabs fail to win another Championship.

Chadwick (Instant Karma): Impeachment proceedings. 

Probie (Gouging Anklebiters): Heckling Walker about his plus-minus, Monday hangovers, Ocean City tournament.

Cat (Dark Rainbows): Rainbows redemption tour – if UMBC can screw up my bracket, then why not.

Isaac (Instant Karma): Schlitz Cup! Read the rest of this entry »

By Cheeky

The BTSH Social Committee cordially invites you to attend our season opening party this Saturday, March 24^th at 9 pm. Come get sucked into our Polar Vortex where we promise it will be nothing short of a bomb-ogenasis of a time!

Break out your brightest snow jackets, (your tightest) leggings, and let your hair go wild, as we combat this winter storm of a party 80’s style. There will be a double barreled ice luge, photo booth, drink specials, and plenty of food (vegetarian options too!) to get us through the dark and stormy night!

BTSH Polar Vortex Season Opening Party
When: Saturday, March 24^th
Where: PS450, 450 Park Avenue S, Between 30^th and 31^st
Time: 9 pm

Can you say Snowmagedd – it on?!

By Diana M

What can we say about the famed BTSH Division 4? Quite a bit actually. Have they recently had a rough season in the W/L category? Maybe. Are they having a great f**king time? Usually.

What The Puck: Same roster, fresh attitude

WTP returns, orange balls loaded, with exactly the same roster as last year except this year they have a strict attendance policy which mandates makeup days spent standing in the Tompkins Square Park bathroom.

Where fun meets flavor.

When the Division namesake, Justin M was asked what happened in the off-season, he responded, “Our Captain Emily won a championship in D2 Lasker Ice Hockey. Zac Ball Hogg found his Canadien Manners. Mike D still packs the van full of booze, band gear, and hockey equipment.”

They left last season putting up a fight against the Lbs, and return with Eric, Paulie, Caroline, Sam and Marisa all hungry for a rematch. John C and Steve have been practicing wind sprints and taking co-ice-baths to stay fast and loose in 2018. Read the rest of this entry »