btsh.org

By Cat

To quote Brett Hiker: “We ended the season 0 and 20, but we played like a 5 and 15 team.”

‘We played like a 5 and 15 team.’

2017 could be charitably described as a “rebuilding year” for the Rainbows. They called us the Fart Rainbows. Fair.

But in the team photo on the last game, which we lost 2-3, it is ear-to-ear smiles, and sincere satisfaction with a game well played.  (Is this the same game where I showed up without shoes? Maybe. Preparation does not equal enthusiasm.)

Fart Rainbows 2017

We had a lot to be happy about. To start, while Josh Wilson and Bernstein have passed the baton since the photo was taken, we were also and will continue to be captained by Tia. The whole league benefits from Tia, and not just because she arrives with orange slices – as part of my research I came across her described by BTSH media as “Everybody’s favorite nondescript bird.”

We also had learned to play as a team. Sure, it literally took the entire season, but I’m focusing on the positives here! Our transitions up the court were executed not just effectively, but on occasion even stylishly. Newcomer Wes made such strides over the course of the season he snagged a nomination for Best Defense, and oldcomer Josh was nommed for Most Underrated, which should be no surprise the way he is able to activate other players and get the ball to the net. I also want to s/o to another newcomer, Karl, who plays hard and with a smile, always down for a post-game beer.

Not to mention, the Rainbows lost with fucking dignity. In the 2017 season, we were one of only two teams that did not receive a single penalty from the refs OR incite an opposing team to receive a penalty.

2017 Player Infractions by Team

Between seasons, much of the bench will be shifting part time – Baby Bernstein is on the way, Abby & Rem have a wedding to plan – so the Rainbows will continue to walk uphill on the long road of redemption – but fans have so much to look forward to:

• New captains joining Tia (with new nondescript animal masks)
• Probably more extremely flashy socks and eye-bleedingly bright jerseys.
• Classy fucking sportsmanship.
• My boss Larry. Great guy. Can totally hang. Wants to make my whole department go on a BTSH outing.
• We are usually good for bringing in the occasional doggo.
• An epic redemption story that ya’ll haven’t seen since… Gut Rot eight months ago.

Third Star – What Is Love
Eitan of the Free Agent List

While at home recovering from surgery in Jersey he decided to flip on the ol’ Tind to find himself a wife.  The first lady he was matched with asked for $600 and then the following happened…

@ChestyPoops69

Second Star – Fly Lauren Fly
LJ from Cobra Kai

It happened.  It finally happened.  An agent of chaos tried to take down the city of brotherly love by submerging it in anarchy.

Why?

Following a sports (!) event a couple Sundays ago, the city had hit a high note and was out in the streets celebrating responsibly…. until Lauren and her legion of green-clad-goons dispersed from their viewing location to join the masses.  Fully decked out with riot inducing beverages crammed into anything resembling a pocket they moved through the crowds, passing them out and began turning up the volume from ‘harmonious’ to ‘the fuck is wrong with you people?’.   She was seen recommending an awning as a dance floor, encouraging a local dotard to munch on manure (to be fair, the 5 second rule applies to all things edible and this was freshly laid), hoisting up dummies to swing from lampposts, cheering on looters at a gas station, and urging a yahoo to box a horse.  Yes, her fingerprints were everywhere and today is the first day Lauren has been sober enough to return to work.

If Cobra Kai ever ends up winning the BTSH PBR Cup we can expect pandemonium in Alphabet City.

First Star – Thank You
Suz (Riots) from the Bylaws Committee and Diane (Gut Rot) for Leadership

For those of you not involved in any of the committees you have no idea how much hard work has been put in to creating our new league bylaws.  Suz and the gang have invested countless hours taking in all recommendations, listening to the captains, reviewing and rewriting each section, consuming boxes of wine, and ironing out all the kinks.  They’re tired, they’ve had enough and could use a final vote already.  If you happen to run into any of them, especially Suz, at the opening season party (TBD) show your thanks by treating them to something from the top shelf.  They’ve earned it!

Thank You

Special thanks to Diane for stepping up and filling the leadership void.  Most folks would throw their hands up and state, ‘not my job.’ ‘I don’t have time.’  ‘I’m Rich Glnzr.’ or ‘just let me know when that’s done.’  She has helped organize off-season meetings, kept the captains informed, worked with the Board on open issues, collected BTSH job applications, and hosted a delightful gathering.  So for the love of god, could someone please be voted in as the new League Manager so she can catch a break?

Congratulations to the U.S. Women’s Hockey team for destroying Canada to win Gold!

USA! USA! USA!

One of the best rivalries in sports delivered another classic game that resulted in the U.S. restoring order to the world of hockey.

Looking to get more involved in BTSH?  Then check out these amazing opportunities to develop a drinking problem!

If you are interested in any of these open positions, please send a brief statement letting us know why you’re interested in the role and what you hope to bring to the position this season to Diane at diane@btsh.org by Sunday, March 4th.  A statement is not required for Game Day Opener/Closer.

League Manager Responsibilities (a.k.a. Game Day Manager) (proposed salary: $5,000)

The most important job of the League Manager is to ensure that the games take place each Sunday. The League Manager may delegate certain tasks to other individuals, but the responsibility for overseeing game day operations ultimately resides with the League Manager, who must:

• Ensure that the games are scheduled, according to the Rules.
• Inform League of schedule.
• Ensure BTSH members sign a liability waiver (provided by the Board).
• Collect team rosters from Captains.
• Facilitate opening and closing of the courts, to be done by the opening / closing team and the Game Day Opener/Closer. League Manager may be paid extra to open/close themselves or pay a BTSH Member to open/close (t.b.d., ~$40 per opening/closing shift).
• Maintain a checklist for opening / closing of the courts.
• Make BTSH property available and ensure its upkeep (equipment, first aid, etc.).
• Submit expenditure requests.
• Ensure that BTSH elected and non-elected officials (Ref Manager, Ref Scheduler, Game Day Opener/Closer, DC Members, etc.) are fulfilling their duties.
• Liaise with BTSH committees, volunteers, Board as necessary.
• Liaise with the Captains and attend Captains Meetings.
• Request Captains to submit playoff roster and waivers for players who don’t meet the 5-game rule; share waiver requests with Captains for a Captains Vote.
• Communicate regularly with the BTSH Members.
• Communicate with the webmaster, as needed.
• Decide on and communicate decisions to cancel games due to inclement weather or dangerous conditions.
• Act as an alternate on Discipline Committee cases when existing DC Members must be recused.

Note: the League has shifted its workload so there are more folks helping run BTSH through committees, positions, board activities, Captains grit, & volunteers. The league manager is still the beloved Betty White of our league, but will no longer do corporate compliance, permits/team fees, web updates, & can pay someone to open/close, etc.

ITS LUISA!!!

Game Day Opener/Closer (proposed $30 per shift)

This is the point person who will assist with game day issues that arise:

• Arrives early/stays late to help the designated team fulfill their duty to open/close the courts (informs League Manager if a team isn’t fulfilling this duty).
• Helps BTSH Members address issues that arise on game days, including equipment needs (balls), access to first aid kit, scheduling questions, access to permits, etc.
• Ensures refs are available and helps find a substitute ref if needed.
• Communicates any equipment or supply issues to League Manager.
• Covers shift for either the first or second half of BTSH games (roughly 3 to 3.5 hours). The Game Day Opener/Closer may sign up to take one or both shifts in a given week. The League Manager may fulfill this role in a given week and get paid to do so.

All positions require not being a dick.

Referee Manager Responsibilities (proposed salary: $1,500)

The Referee Manager may delegate certain tasks as he or she sees fit, but ultimately is accountable for the following:

• Coordinate training(s) for new refs and a refresher training for returning refs at the beginning of the season (he/she may either administer the ref training him/herself or identify an experienced ref to conduct the training).
• Train and recruit new refs throughout the season, as needed.
• Prep/ follow-up with game refs to ensure they are fulfilling their roles properly and address any issues which arise at the games.
• Liaise with Captains about feedback relating to game refs; provide additional training or support to refs to address any concerns, as needed.
• Maintain the ref binder on game days, as well as its content in general.
• Identify potential DC issues and present them to the DC to review, when appropriate. The Ref Manager may consult the League Manager for input on DC referrals, as needed.
• Maintain detailed Referee Manager procedures guide in order to ensure continuity between Ref Managers.
• Correspond with Captains when necessary to provide updates (ex. in the event of a serious physical altercation, significant violation of BTSH mission, etc.) but at least at mid-season and end of season.
• Ensure any rule changes made by Captains are corrected in Rules, conveyed to refs, and updated on website.
• The Ref Manager shall be a member of the Rules Committee.
• Referee Write-up Due Diligence Process: the Ref Manager is responsible for maintaining the “BTSH Player History Database” which tracks write-ups and infractions of BTSH Members through a defined process (outlined in the BTSH Governing Document).

Ref Scheduler Responsibilities (proposed salary: $1,500)

• Schedule refs for each week’s games.
• Send the ref schedule to the Ref Manager and League Manager prior to each week’s games.
• Inform the Ref Manager if any refs are new and need to be trained.

Sarah’s bat will only be used to make a point.

Discipline Committee (DC) Member Responsibilities (proposed stipend: $300 for group)

• Arrange and facilitate the DC incident reviews in order to ensure fairness, efficiency, and expediency, with the goal of maintaining overall BTSH safety and adherence to BTSH mission
• Cases are referred to the DC Members through the Ref Manager. A matter may also reach the DC Members by a majority vote of all of the Captains.
  • Ex. one of three key terms usually comes into play in order for an offense to merit DC review: “intentional,” “malicious,” or “repeat offender” (see Rules for additional guidance).  However, this is not a strict requirement for actions to merit DC review.
• DC has the authority, upon agreement of at least 50% of DC members, to sanction players with reprimand, single or multi-game game suspension, probation, season expulsion, or any combination of these. Captains may be reprimanded or suspended from playing, at the discretion of 51% of the DC, if their team member(s) is repeatedly violating the Rules. If 50% or more of the DC Members believe that permanent League expulsion (as opposed to season expulsion) should be considered, they must call a DC Meeting with the Captains.
• Cannot represent his or her team at a DC Meeting; must recuse his/herself if (1) there is a personal conflict which would prevent him/her from acting impartially; (2) the player under review is on his/her team, or (3) if the event under review occurred during a game in which the DC Member’s team was playing.
• There are three DC Members. In the event that two DC Members must recuse themselves, the League Manager will act as a temporary DC Member to review the case, with the remaining DC Member so, that at least two people review each case.

Community Outreach Committee (proposed stipend for Chair: $300)

• The purpose of the Community Outreach Committee is to ensure that BTSH is fulfilling its commitments to the community.
• Stay informed of what’s going on with the groups and people in the TSP (as defined below) neighborhood (liaise with the Community Board, Police Precinct, etc.)
• Make sure that people and groups in the neighborhood know what’s going on with BTSH and promote a positive image of BTSH.
• Organize projects for the BTSH Members to give back to the community, such as charity events, volunteer projects, free youth street hockey clinics, etc.

Responsibilities of the Board of Directors (Volunteer)

• Ensure that BTSH maintains legal and tax compliance at all times.
  • File the legally required bi-annual report with the NYS Department of State.
• Provide proper financial oversight, including preparing annual Budget for Captains approval.
• Collect team fees.
• Obtain permits for BTSH courts through the NYC Parks Department.
• Elect officers, from among the Board Members, to guide Board operations, including a Chair, Secretary, Treasurer and Vice-Treasurer.
• Board Members may elect officers and pass votes by a simple majority.
• Hold an annual meeting.
• Maintain Board procedures guide in order to ensure continuity between Board Members.
• Obtain proper liability insurance that protects the Board, League Manager, and Captains. If insurance is obtained that does not provide liability protection for these individuals, the Board must inform the individuals.
• If a Board Member resigns, he/she must notify the other Board Members via email.
• Board Members act in the interest of the League as a whole, and not in the interest of a particular team or person.

As stated above, please send a brief statement letting us know why you’re interested in the role and what you hope to bring to the position this season to Diane at diane@btsh.org by Sunday, March 5.  A statement is not required for Game Day Opener/Closer.