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The NWHL season is back in action!  And for the first time ever our own Riveters will be playing on an NHL rink.  Their league would like to offer you, the BTSH public, an exclusive opportunity at a NWHL / NHL double header this Saturday.   So toss aside any plans you’ve made and get in on this sweet deal.

Here are the details:

Say What: Making history!
When: Saturday, October 28^th
Who: Boston Pride at Metropolitan Riveters at 1:30 pm and then the Arizona Coyotes at New Jersey Devils at 7 pm
Where: Prudential Center located in beautiful downtown Newark, NJ
Special Offer: All ticket options are here and use the special code: BTSH

Feel free to invite your family, friends, co-workers, and anyone outside of BTSH that might enjoy this historical event.

Thanks goes out to the NWHL Commissioner, Dani R of Cobra Kai, for making this happen!

Thanks Dani!

Third Stars
Opening Scrimmage Crew

Showtime no approve of mess to clean.

The Tompkins Square Park Halloween Dog Parade is a long standing tradition in the East Village / Alphabet City community and apparently leaving their shit everywhere afterwards is too. For the second straight year the NYPD barriers were piled up around the open blacktop to be someone else’s problem. The league owes Julie, Olivier, Eitan, Peter, Eric, Alok and several others who showed up expecting to get their scrimmage on a big THANKS for getting the courts ready for everyone. (See Rich for beers at the Closing Ceremony this Sunday at the Parkside Lounge.)

Second Star
Roxy from Fresh Kills

Deadly from all angles.

With around 30 seconds left in the game and Fresh Kills up by one goal Math made a strong push that was rewarded with a goal from Sam. Game tied. Crowd going B.A.N.A.N.A.S. Overtime looking inevitable.   Faceoff goes to Fresh Kills who made a push of their own, pandemonium in front of the net, ball darts out to the point and with 4 precious seconds left on the clock Roxy rockets in the GWG. For the second time this calendar year Roxy flashed her trademark smile, reached into Math’s chest and ripped out their heart.

First Star
Kate from Filthier

Getting filthy to get it done.

Her performance on Sunday against one of the up and coming teams in the league was Super Human (almost meta). After scoring the only goal in the game she put on a clinic of how to shut down the opposition by clamping down on Poutine rushes, winning lose ball battles and carrying her team on her shoulders.   Not to take anything away from Sunny, James and Tim, but man that was impressive. It takes more than just superstars to win in the playoffs and with Kate Filthy is built to win.

Honorable mentions:
Zach and Alex for stepping up and refereeing a game between two teams aggressively trying to sex each other. Both came to party ready to do business. Alex looking the part in his zebra top and Zach abandoning his as if he had just committed a petty crime in the area. Well done gents.

Gasface:
That stupid net at the south end of the West Court for almost costing Eli and I our lives. Never again should we ref a playoff game together.  #neveragain

It’s here!  The moment you BTSHers have been waiting for…

2017 BTSH Award Nominations!!!

The final nominations were not easy to agree on.  The Awards Committee reviewed minutes of video tape, analyzed all the wild stats Alex came up with, went through a couple bottles of Everclear and deliberated for several seconds before paring down the list to only five BTSHers for each category.  And without further ado here they are.

Derek and Eli (Ambiguously Straight Duo) Award for Best Duo

• Herr Sisters
• Alex F from LBS and Gambling
• Alexa and Jeff from Fuzz
• Rich and Celibacy
• Hector and Eric from Rehabs and the 2017 All-Star Game

Rookie of the Year (male)

• Ramon from Gut Rot
• Campbell from Cobra Kai
• Matt from Instant Karma
• Zac from What The Puck
• Tarzan from Butchers

Rookie of the Year (female)

• Amanda from Sky Fighters
• Jenna from Corlears Hookers
• Carrie from Gouging Anklebiters
• Marcella from Gremlins
• Jade from Mega Touch

Bob W. Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence (Captain of The Year)

• Laura Mac from Tompkins Square Riots
• LJ and Liam from Cobra Kai
• Diane and Perko from Gut Rot
• Phil from Gouging Anklebiters
• Sena from Rehabs

Best Defense – male

• Brad from Denim Demons
• Creamy from Butchers
• Gabe from Fresh Kills
• Wes from Dark Rainbows
• Danilo from Corlears Hookers

Best Defense – female

• Cat from Dark Rainbows
• Amber from Rehabs
• Alyssa from Fuzz
• Nicole from Instant Karma
• Charlotte from Poutine Machine

Craig ‘Kentucky Wristwatch’ Lacombe Award – for flamboyance and extraordinary feats in goaltending

• Scott from What The Puck
• Mike ‘Sizzler’ Z from LBS
• Coach from Fuzz
• Zach from Denim Demons
• Dave from Mathematics

Sisters Before Misters Award for the team with the baddest females

• Tompkins Square Riots
• Fresh Kills
• Mathematics
• Rehabs
• Corlears Hookers

Most Underrated (male)

• Josh W from Dark Rainbows
• Dave F from Tompkins Square Riots
• Yuri from Mega Touch
• Mike M from Poutine Machine
• Hugh from Instant Karma

Most Underrated (female)

• Alexis from Sky Fighters
• Dana from Butchers
• Christina from Tompkins Square Riots
• Cathy from Gremlins
• Sarah M from Gouging Anklebiters

Upset of the Year

• Gut Rot defeating Fuzz during the regular season
• Riots defeating Gut Rot in the Playoff Opening Round
• Rich becoming League Commissioner
• Poutine Machine defeating LBS during the regular season

C Dubs Award for the player with the sweetest disposition

• Christina from Poutine Machine
• Greg from Sky Fighters
• Sarah from Fuzz
• Ed P from Gut Rot
• Ann from Filthier

Rachel Greene Award for Snark, Style, and Finesse

• Cheeky from Mega Touch
• Ali from LBS, Inc.
• Becca from Gut Rot
• Sena from Rehabs
• Sheena from Fresh Kills

Jamie Batu… Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Sneaker Hockey Photojournalism

• Jamie from Gremlins
• Tia from Dark Rainbows
• Bill from Corlears Hookers
• Greg A from Mexico
• Showtime from Rehabs

The Dan Hopper Award for Saddening

• Pete W and Angela V from Instant Karma
• Suvin from Filthier
• Natalie from Poutine Machine
• Newman from Fuzz & Free Agent List
• Jargon G from What The Puck
• Steph C from Mathematics
• Shaleen R from Mega Touch
• Gil from Fuzz
• Amber from Rehabs

3 Stars of the Season (as voted on by you, the BTSH voting public)

• VOTE NOW

BTSH Awards Committee

Congratulations to each of the nominees.  The winners will be announced LIVE during the end of season party at the Parkside Lounge this Sunday, October 29th.  The festivities kick-off around 6ish with plenty of drink specials to keep you believing everyone is beautiful.  We’ll see you there!

The results of the Quarterfinals are in and . . .

LBS, Inc. defeated Corlears Hookers 2-0 by clogging shooting lanes and feeling the effects of Scotty’s special cookies.  Afterwards they were nursing from sacks of wine and telling some wild tales.

Filthier narrowly escaped the clutches of Poutine Machine 1-0 by having just a wee bit more pep and a Gentleman.  Beers all around and a little pat-pat on their asses.

Rehabs defeated Fuzz.  But that’s about all we know.  As of this writing they were still arguing over a call.

Fresh Kills broke the hearts of Mathematics and their fan base 4-3 by paying off the ref that was managing the clock.  Longest under 30 seconds ever played in a sports game in America.

We are pleased to report that all breast were sparred today.

Next Sunday’s Semifinals match-ups:

8. LBS, Inc. at 1. Fresh Kills will be a rematch of last year’s Semifinals in which a ref stole the game for LBS, Inc.

4. Filthier at 2. Rehabs will be the third time they’ve faced off this season.  They split the earlier two.

NOTE: the Semifinals and Finals will be played next Sunday followed by the end of season party at Parkside Lounge.  More information will be released this week.