Playoff Opening Round Previews – Part 1
THE PLAYOFFS ARE HERE! THE PLAYOFFS ARE HERE!
Yes! They have arrived and to kick them off in style we’re treating you, our loyal readers, to a Super-Sized Special Previews. Here’s an in-depth look at each team – Part 1. Enjoy.
20. Dark Rainbows at 13. Sky Fighters
by Isaac
In this corner: DARK RAINBOWS (0-17-1, -82 goals differential), who finished last in total points for the 2017 season.
The road so far: It’s been a weird one, thanks to a rebuilding season (but we’ve seen signs that point towards a positive future). Several new parts were added to this squad and it has taken them a full season to get acquainted with one another.
The history books: The Rainbows have made noise before in the playoffs. To the decibel level that it caused tremors throughout the league. There’s something about pressure that brings out the best in them.
Injury report: They’re mostly healthy heading into the playoffs, except for their leader Abby who is still on the mend and Cat’s recurring Sunday morning pounding headaches.
One player to watch: Wes H. We mentioned before about signs of brighter days ahead and he’s a good reason why. As one of the up and coming defenders in the league, he remains pretty cool under pressure while disrupting offensive assaults.
Key number: 15 – that’s the total number of goals the Rainbows scored all season. Averaging less than a goal a game doesn’t get the job done and it didn’t for them this season. But that’s not to say they don’t know how to score. Another number to consider is 2 – they’ve had multiple games this season in which they scored more than a single goal.
Dominant narrative: The Rainbows didn’t win a game this season. And I’m sure they’re sick of hearing about it. But that makes them super-sleepers, like in a coma with a slight pulse. If they wake up and start spanking teams in the playoffs, well, you heard it here first.
The big question: Will Aaron answer the call and come help his Rainbows? Also, where will the after party be? One of the best kept secrets in the league is how this team throws down after a game.
Bandwagon-ability: It depends on whether you can get past the whole ‘didn’t win a game this season’ thing. But having said that, it is also is a pretty good reason to support them. So yeah, we’re onboard.
One good reason not to root for them: None. Everyone is rooting for them!
And in this corner: SKY FIGHTERS (9-9-0, -6 goals differential), who finished 13th in total points for the 2017 season.
The road so far: Finishing at .500 isn’t anything to hang your hat on, but they did rescue themselves from the circling the bowl at one point this season. And that is enough to say that they know how to overcome adversity.
The history books: The Sky Fighters are one of the more dangerous playoff teams. They earned a championship less than a decade ago and knocked out the favorite last year. They’re playoff tested.
Injury report: Olivier is nursing a bruised ego from Alok being named Prom King and the brothers are still learning to understand the emotion we call ‘happy’ displayed by smiling. Aside from that, well who doesn’t have a couple bruises at this point.
One player to watch: Alexis N. For a player the constantly claims she doesn’t know how to play forward, she does a pretty damn good job at it. Versatility is key in the playoffs and if she starts hopping up into rush to collect garbage instead disposing of it it’ll cause problems for opposing teams.
Key number: 27 – that’s how many goals Mike scored this season while running away with the scoring title, again. If he’s trigger happy on Sunday then it could be a long game for the Rainbows.
Dominant narrative: Can anyone on their team without the last name Teytelbaum score a goal? Well, alright, perhaps more a question than a narrative, but Mike and Roman do the majority of the heavy lifting for this team.
The big question: What the hell is up with Stein? No, not the stench coming from the vicinity of his pads, although, yeah what’s up with that? It is more a question about which one shows up. If bizarro Stein makes an appearance then the defense will have their work cut out for them. However, if the real Stein is between the pipes then we could be looking at an early playoff shutout.
Bandwagon-ability: Pretty effing high. This team made the frozen four the past two years and with the majority of the core roster intact from those years they could make another deep playoff run.
One good reason not to root for them: You’re kind of sick of them by now. The brothers make the headlines, Greg steals all the fame, and Amanda doesn’t own a dark blue shirt (or so she claims). We’re ready for something new.
Prediction: The Rainbows go down swinging as the Sky Fighters put them down gently, 6-1.
19. Mega Touch at 14. Gouging Anklebiters
by JW
In this corner: MEGA TOUCH (3-13-2, -29 goal differential), who finished 19th in total points for the 2017 regular season.
The road so far: It’s been a rough year for Mega in their bump up to the 3rd division this season. They are looking forward to getting back to the 4th division, which they’ve always called home.
The history books: This is the first time I ever remember Mega being in the 3rd division. See above comment.
Injury report: Mega are healthy heading into the playoffs……but not in their choice of snacks. Julie will be sure to have bags of sugary sweets handy for her team, during this matchup.
One player to watch: Jeff. I don’t know this guy, but I know he’s good. Julie picked him up this season, and he makes his presence known on the court.
Key number: Somewhere between 4-6. The number of times Brady will try blasting a shot from behind his own goal line, all the way down the court.
Dominant narrative: Alex’s Pizza Lightning shirt is back and available for purchase.
The big question: Who will show up wearing jorts?
Bandwagon-ability: Incredibly high. I have always said that Mega are one of the few remaining teams who embody the BTSH spirit.
One good reason not to root for them: You’re on the Anklebiters.
And in this corner: GOUGING ANKLEBITERS (7-8-3, -15 goal differential), who finished 13th in total points for the 2017 regular season.
The road so far: Finishing under .500 has not been a habit for this team in recent years. They don’t like the taste of it, and will be looking to make a deep playoff run in order to make up for it.
The history books: The Biters upset the mighty Fresh Kills just 2 years ago. Wait, was that 3 years ago? (Man I am getting old.) In any case, if they did that only 2 years ago, they should be able to beat Mega Touch today.
Injury report: Joe P. is probably injured.
One player to watch: Sarah M. Watch her as she scores on you because you left her wide open on the back door (like every team always does for some reason that I will never understand).
Key number: 324. The number of total drinks consumed by Biters who attended the prom.
Dominant narrative: Caroline. Her narrative is DOMINANT. (And by this I mean loud. She is loud.)
The big question: Will any of the Biters even make it to a 12:30pm game??
Bandwagon-ability: Also incredibly high. Nobody parties like the Biters do. Hockey is secondary (as it should be, in BTSH).
One good reason not to root for them: You’re jealous of their karaoke skills.
Prediction: Part of me feels like Mega will pull the upset. But that’s not my official prediction… Probert nets 2 or 3 and the Biters win this one, 4-2.