Posts Tagged ‘2008 season’
Week 11 Preview
Wednesday, July 9th, 2008Can These Two Stay Undefeated?
GAME OF THE WEEK
Mighty Squirrels (6-0-3) vs. Filthy Gorgeous (7-2-1)
Location: Moffo, 5:00 PM
All-Time Series: Filthy Gorgeous leads 2-1
Game Notes: Both of these teams enter the weekend tied for first place in BTSH, alongside LBS, Inc. and What The Puck. Although Filthy Gorgeous boasts the second highest goal total in the league with forty, they have relied on several different players to account for their scoring. Joseph Pereira currently leads the team with just six goals, while Matt Novick, James Pereira, and Paul “Ashy Larry” Vernon have each contributed five. The Mighty Squirrels’ offense, on the other hand, ranks in the middle of the pack, but their defense is tied for second in goals allowed. Although captain Rachel “A-Korn” Greene’s “back to fundamentals” approach to hockey is a large factor in their new found defensive prowess, much of the credit can go to new goaltender Tommy Mayoros, who has allowed only nine goals in eight games. The winners of this game could find themselves in the unexpected position of first place as the break rapidly approaches.
Keys To The Game:
1. Arthur “Lil Weezy” Revechkis now has six of the Mighty Squirrels’ twenty-four goals. With Revechkis accounting for twenty-five percent of the offense, keeping him in check should be a priority for Filthy.
2. While Filthy Gorgeous goalie Dan Owens’s goals against average is not as sterling as Mayoros’s, he has been just as effective. He is coming off of his first shutout of the season and has not lost a game since week two.
3. Mighty Squirrels superstar defenseman Gary Kowalski has a hearing scheduled with the city of New York on Sunday at 4 PM to discuss seventy-six unpaid parking tickets. Although the meeting is downtown, it is unclear if he will be able to make the game.
Eli’s Pick: Filthy Gorgeous. Monica 1, Sven 0.
Derek’s Pick: Filthy Gorgeous. Offense beats defense, and the Squirrels suffer their first loss of the season.
Johnsons Olympics Returns!
Monday, July 7th, 2008Just Don’t Let Guapo Near The Torch
It’s back! The most infamous night of the BTSH season has returned for another annual installment. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the third Johnsons Olympiad is coming this Sunday, July 13th at the Johnsons. Start time is 6:30 PM…be ready to call out sick on Monday.
Join host Phil “Sandy” Donohue, emcee Craig “Ug” LaCombe, BTSH Party Master Jefferson Hendricks, and bartenders Brent & Lindsey for an evening of heavy drinking and a night you’ll never remember. Welcome yourself back to the land of the infamous Bar Mat Shot, the leopard print jane, boot and rally beer chugs, and, of course, the celebratory cupcake in the ass.
HOW YOU CAN BE A PART — THE EVENTS:
This year some of your old favorite events are mixed with a couple of new ones.
The oldies but goodies:
1) Over The Top Arm Wrestling Tourney
2) The Sascha Puritz Memorial PBR Chugging Contest
3) The Sharif Corinaldi Hot Legs Competition
4) Pool Shark Tourney
This year’s new events:
1) The Bar Napkin Love Poem — The name says it all…start when you come in and write a love poem to someone/something at the bar. Only entries submitted on a bar napkin will be accepted.
2) The Hot Dog Eating Contest — Just like Coney Island on the 4th of July. Who will be crowned hot dog champion? Only time will tell…
Plus, there will be giveaways, free food and drink specials throughout the evening.
HELP A FELLOW HOCKEY PLAYER:
This year, the Johnsons Olympic Committee, in conjunction with the BTSH hierarchy, will conduct a 50/50 raffle with the proceeds going to help defray the costs of Kelly Buchanan’s medical bills. A $5 ticket and a dream is all you need. Tickets will be available all night, but you must be present at the drawing to win. So, be sure to enter.
Photo of the Week
Wednesday, July 2nd, 2008C’mon, Man
Better luck in four years…
Week 10 News and Notes
Tuesday, July 1st, 2008If You Were On LBS, You’d Be Smiling Too
LBS Goes Corporate
When you’re an elite conglomerate like LBS is, simply being called a “team” is not enough. LBS is far more than a loose a collection of hipsters who get together on Sundays like the rest of BTSH. Instead, their ranks include stock brokers, government officials, and other community leaders who you aspire to be. As such, the board of directors of LBS has declared that–effectively immediately–you must now refer to them as LBS, Inc. Ken “The Alpha Male” Poulin explains, “We’re more than just a team. We’re a brand…a brand that people widely recognize as the gold standard of BTSH. Kind of like Mr. Clean.” As a result of this change in marketing direction, captain Sascha Puritz shall now be known as the CEO, Karsten Pichon shall be the CFO, Molly Jacobs shall be the Vice President of West Coast Operations, and Sam Anthony shall be the Director of Investor Relations. Seth Wachtell has been reassigned to the mail room.
Week 10 Box Scores
Monday, June 30th, 2008Filthy Gorgeous Is All Wet Behind The Ears
Filthy Gorgeous 6, Happy Little Elves 0
Filthy Gorgeous: Matt Novick 3 (5), Joseph Pereira (6), Paul “Ashy Larry” Vernon (5), Suvin “The Guru” Malik (4)
Shutout: Dan Owens (1)
LBS 6, Mexican Standoff 5 (OT-SO)
LBS: Ken “The Alpha Male” Poulin 2 (6), Karsten Pichon (11), Tom Capatosta (4), Jason Bogdaneris (2)
Mexican Standoff: Gary Cohen (3), Ellery “The Nature Boy” Gillette (2), Len Guinto (2), Jefferson Hendricks (2), Hannah Stark (1)
Shootout: LBS wins, 2-0. Successful attempts by Karsten Pichon and Sam Anthony.
Game Notes: Mexican Standoff rallied from a 4-0 deficit and scored twice in the final five minutes of regulation to force overtime. Despite showing up to support her team (in Mexican Standoff’s colors), LBS captain Sascha Puritz did not play due to an apparent “ankle injury”. She looks fine to us.
Gouging Anklebiters 6, Bad Touch 0
Gouging Anklebiters: Eric “El Guapo” DiPierri 4 (5), Phil “Sandy” Donohue (5), Caroline Morrissey-Bickerton (3)
Shutout: Alex Owen (1)
What The Puck 4, Fresh Kills 2
What The Puck: Mike “The X-Factor” Woodsworth 2 (9), Corey “Chongo” Winters (10), Darrell “Accurate Bob” Hartman (4)
Fresh Kills: “Hollywood” Jeff Lesser (5), Patrick Moore (3)
Denim Demons 3, Sky Fighters 2 (OT)
Denim Demons: Micael Holmstrom 2 (7), Jeff Kamen (4)
Sky Fighters: Chris “Big Sexy” Shumaker (2), Imraan Farukhi (1)
Game Notes: Jeff Kamen scored the game-tying goal with thirty seconds remaining in regulation with the goalie pulled. Happy birthday to Denim Demons’ Abby Meisterman, whose birthday is today (June 30).
Rehabs 1, Mathematics 0
Rehabs: Alex “Villano VI” Zabala (3)
Shutout: Hector “$howT!m3” Melendez (1)
Game Notes: Alex “Villano VI” Zabala scored the game-winning goal with eight minutes left in the game.
Unicorns 2, Dark Rainbows 1
Unicorns: Mark (5), Caitlin (1)
Dark Rainbows: John Nielsen (10)
Game Notes: Caitlin had the game-winning goal with one minute to go in regulation. In an odd coincidence, this is the second consecutive year she scored a late winner while Craig “Ug” LaCombe’s parents were in attendance.
Mighty Squirrels 2, Cobra Kai 1
Mighty Squirrels: Eric Breitman (3), Miky Wolf (1)
Cobra Kai: Ray “Domino” Chan (3)
Corlears Hookers 2, Tuques 1
Corlears Hookers: Jason Eitel 2 (8)
Tuques: Bill Monahan (6)
Game Notes: Zack Tinkelman of Denim Demons played goalie for the Tuques.
