Posts Tagged ‘2014 Season’
Week 1 Previews (Part 1)
Thursday, March 27th, 2014So this season we’re going to combine the best of Derk&Elly and the best of Sven. D&E gave one GOTW, and Sven pretty much gave detailed recaps of every game. So, we are going to combine the two ideas and give two GOTWs and much shorter previews to every other game. In order to make a GOTW…you gotta earn it with Ws.
No charities here. Win at the courts, Ace Bar and Skee*T*Ball
We think most of you are assholes, but not this kid. He seems kinda cool. I like his style.
Speaking of assholes, lets get to the first GOTW for 2014! Congratulations Tuques and Anklebiters. The Tuques “won the off-season,” so they get the first GOTW.
2014 Predictions!
Wednesday, March 26th, 2014Can Math Repeat As Glanzer Division Champions?
The Norris family continues to grow.
Brown Division
| Rich | Derek | Eli | |
| 1 | Fresh Kills | Fresh Kills | Fresh Kills |
| 2 | Corlears Hookers | Corlears Hookers | Corlears Hookers |
| 3 | LBS, Inc. | Denim Demons | LBS, Inc. |
| 4 | Denim Demons | LBS, Inc. | Denim Demons |
| 5 | What The Puck | What The Puck | What The Puck |
Rich’s Take: Fresh Kills, after making a run at perfection, will actually lose 3 games this season. None will be in the playoffs. This division is the tops for a reason, every team will have a winning record. And honestly, after seeing all the talent at the Free Agent scrimmage and the goalie that Corey very subtly got…I’m a little worried about playing them Game 1. They could be good real early.
Derek’s Take: Fresh Kills cruises to another division title. The Hookers give them a good run, but poor mid-season attendance results in a few lost games for the Purple during the summer. The Demons play solid (though objectionable) hockey. LBS, Inc. takes a step back this season with no Ken. What The Puck will clearly be in rebuilding mode and probably should not be in this division.
Eli’s Take: Not much to add here that Rich and Derek haven’t already said. Fresh Kills is the most complete team in the league and goes back-to-back with the division titles. What The Puck looks primed for relegation, unless Corey has something up his sleeve.
[Said in Jo-Ann voice]Maybe Corey join Elf and put ‘appy Elf up sleeve? Why is Timmay no playing for us this year?
Glanzer Division Preview
Monday, March 24th, 2014Saving the best-named division for last. Last season, Math won the Glanzer Division, and this year they are taking the name with them. In a division with Derk, Elly and $h0wT!m3, and written by me…there is not one wrestling joke. Rachel Greene we are really trying here.
Without further ado….
OK, so they’re not as hot as these two, but they are as close as it gets.
Additional Weakness: Neither of them showed to the free agent scrimmage!
Waldo was easier to find than Rachel and Georgine yesterday.
Fun Fact: Georgine once scored a natural hat trick. (With the stick I gave her)
Greene Division Preview
Friday, March 21st, 2014Ignore That Glum Fellow in the Back
That second win was pretty sweet!
Cobra Kai
2013 Record: 3-11-2-2
Strengths: Although Cobra Kai enters this season on the heels of a disappointing 2013 campaign that ended with a demotion to the Greene Division, it stills boasts one of the most established core of players in BTSH. Will Kuhns, J.J. Murphy, Mark Talercio, and captain Greg Altman have now played together for several seasons, including several runs in MOFO. As a result, these veterans’ chemistry and experience are enough to keep the Dojo in any game. Also, the (white!) chick with the dreads is potentially one of the ten best women in the league and helped the Mathematics beat the Happy Little Elves last season (on Rich Glanzer’s birthday).
Weaknesses: Although these guys were once considered just a shade away from elite (think Joe Flacco), BTSH’s overall talent level has vastly improved over the last few seasons, leaving Cobra Kai in the dust with a merely average team. Teamwork and game intelligence will only take them so far, but eventually, the Dojo will need to add some extra talent to regain its status as a legitimate contender. As the Kais’ top players head into the twilight of their careers, it’s time to mine the free agent pool and find the next Jason Eitel. Or do that Gabe for Rachel “The Infiltrator” trade that Fresh Kills keeps proposing.
Not quite elite.
Fun Fact: Two of your humble writers at The ORG, Derek and Eli, began their BTSH careers on Cobra Kai, way back in the day when it was called Henry Motion. The duo is actually credited with changing the team name to the 80s movie reference (along with former captain Peter “Ski” Oblamski).
Dark Rainbows
2013 Record: 10-7-1
Strengths: The Rainbows finished second in the division last season with a strong ten win performance, so the hockey skills are obviously there. However, with last season’s acquisitions of Abby “Tayne” Meisterman (happy to bring that nickname back!) and David Bernstein, their true strength is useless trivia. While Abby is unmatched in her knowledge of Clueless and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Bernstein knows Tupac’s entire catalogue by heart. Plus, Bernstein went to Duke, so he probably knows J.J. Redick.
Also from Duke.
Weaknesses: Really, it’s the pink uniforms. Yeah, I know, that’s the joke, because “irony” or whatever, but when’s the last time you faced the Dark Rainbows and actually felt intimidated? Not that you should feel intimidated facing any team, but the faded pink really isn’t helping. Then they do that pre-game “whoo-whooooooo” cheer, which is even worse than the Mathematics’ pre-game barking. I know it’s a beer league, but you guys can pump yourselves up better than that.
Fun Fact: Former Rainbows, Trevor and Libby, will attend the ceremony for their daughter’s graduation from NYU this May. She is now 22 years old and living with her fiancé inside a small tent between the East and West courts at Tompkins Square Park. My, how time flies!
$h0wT!m3 Division Preview
Thursday, March 20th, 2014Joe Models The Anklebiters’ New Third Jersey
Filthy Gorgeous
Strengths: Things can’t get much worse than last year…right? They still have James and Suvin, and when the two are paired together, Filthy is extremely dangerous. If, for some reason, James and Suvin are no longer on the team, then things can get a lot worse.
Weaknesses: They had a little bit of an attendance problem last year. Dan and Caroline got engaged and moved to Washington, D.C. mid-season. There were some pregnancies, too. Others just did not show up all that much. It’s a minor miracle that they were able to field a roster for the playoffs, as Monica had to put her entire roster in for playoff exemptions. And What The Puck captain Larry Zimmer still voted no for every single one.
Fun Fact: Monica is considering having a throwback day, and thus bringing back the lime-green jerseys, when they face the Elves on August 10.
Random Hockey Related YouTube Video: Filthy’s 2013 season went a little like this.
Gouging Anklebiters
Strengths: Which team allowed the fewest goals in BTSH last season? Yep, it’s the Anklebiters, who gave up just 25 goals across 18 games. Some of the credit for this achievement goes to goalie Craig LaCombe, and some of the credit goes to an air-tight shutdown defense. This is a very united team, both on and off the court.
Weaknesses: Congratulations Anklebiters! You just won the Larsen Division! Your prize, which you must accept, is promotion to the Tagliarino Conference. It comes with a tougher division, a tougher schedule, and a noticeably less chill attitude. And Sarah Moore gets to face roommate Lisa Harrington and La Famiglia twice a season now.
Fun Fact: Craig’s ability at throwing his goalie stick has caught the eyes of USA Track and Field. He is considered a dark horse candidate in the javelin for the 2016 Summer Olympic Games.
Random Hockey Related YouTube Video: Tuukka Rask is not impressed.
