Posts Tagged ‘Gouging Anklebiters’
From The Vault
Saturday, March 26th, 2016Emeritus Note: The editorial staff is hard at work on the remaining division previews, but to tide you over until those are ready, we’re running a classic team preview. Here are our thoughts on LBS, Inc. prior to the start of the 2011 season. This post was originally published on March 22, 2011.
Meet LBS, Inc.’s New Security Manager
Courtesy: LBS, Inc. Office of Communications
Color: White
Year Founded: 2002
2010 Regular Season Finish: 8-7-0-1 (4th, Rubens Division; 11th overall)
2010 Playoff Result: Lost to Filthy Gorgeous in round of 16
Conference: Weyersberg
Division: Hackett
2010 Leading Scorer: Karsten Pichon, 16 goals
Team Song: Pet Shop Boys – Opportunities (Let’s Make Lots of Money)
New Hires: Lawrence Goldstein
Resignations: Alex Simon, Phil Yang
(more…)
August 3rd Preview Part 1
Wednesday, July 30th, 2014We are in August (well…not right now but the next games are) which means it’s the beginning of the home stretch. This is a great time for a team to get hot, and don’t look now, but a former champion is heating up. Sky Fighters vs. Anklebiters is your GOTW.
Even though he claims he never reads this site, Stein does quote it a lot.
It’s the same ol’ Anklebiters…three players three beers. But these Biters can play.
Yeah we all know about Joe P., Craig and Derho, but can we get some love for the ladies? Sarah Moore and Shelley Maasdorp each have four goals, and Shelley scored in the ASG (and even had time to give a speech about not taking long shifts so others can play).
Meanwhile…the Sky Fighters off a beyond dreadful start are heating up. They are getting hot at just the right time and break or no break, Dan Hopper isn’t going to let his team miss a week of hockey.
This is Dan getting all the SFs together last Sunday for a scrimmage. Unfortunately, they ended up losing 3-2 in OT when the girl in the blue left her point man wide open and Jamie…who was playing out scored.
Yes, Jamie plays in your home games too.
Predictions:
Rich: I don’t often predict OT games…I’m not afraid to say when a team is gonna get blown out. But if attendance is equal, I’m going with Sky Fighters 3-2 in OT.
Derek: Biters take it 3-2.
Eli: Are you insinuating that every game that does not go to overtime is a blowout, Richie? If so, then the Anklebiters blow out the Sky Fighters, 2-1.
Week 1 Previews (Part 1)
Thursday, March 27th, 2014So this season we’re going to combine the best of Derk&Elly and the best of Sven. D&E gave one GOTW, and Sven pretty much gave detailed recaps of every game. So, we are going to combine the two ideas and give two GOTWs and much shorter previews to every other game. In order to make a GOTW…you gotta earn it with Ws.
No charities here. Win at the courts, Ace Bar and Skee*T*Ball
We think most of you are assholes, but not this kid. He seems kinda cool. I like his style.
Speaking of assholes, lets get to the first GOTW for 2014! Congratulations Tuques and Anklebiters. The Tuques “won the off-season,” so they get the first GOTW.
$h0wT!m3 Division Preview
Thursday, March 20th, 2014Joe Models The Anklebiters’ New Third Jersey
Filthy Gorgeous
Strengths: Things can’t get much worse than last year…right? They still have James and Suvin, and when the two are paired together, Filthy is extremely dangerous. If, for some reason, James and Suvin are no longer on the team, then things can get a lot worse.
Weaknesses: They had a little bit of an attendance problem last year. Dan and Caroline got engaged and moved to Washington, D.C. mid-season. There were some pregnancies, too. Others just did not show up all that much. It’s a minor miracle that they were able to field a roster for the playoffs, as Monica had to put her entire roster in for playoff exemptions. And What The Puck captain Larry Zimmer still voted no for every single one.
Fun Fact: Monica is considering having a throwback day, and thus bringing back the lime-green jerseys, when they face the Elves on August 10.
Random Hockey Related YouTube Video: Filthy’s 2013 season went a little like this.
Gouging Anklebiters
Strengths: Which team allowed the fewest goals in BTSH last season? Yep, it’s the Anklebiters, who gave up just 25 goals across 18 games. Some of the credit for this achievement goes to goalie Craig LaCombe, and some of the credit goes to an air-tight shutdown defense. This is a very united team, both on and off the court.
Weaknesses: Congratulations Anklebiters! You just won the Larsen Division! Your prize, which you must accept, is promotion to the Tagliarino Conference. It comes with a tougher division, a tougher schedule, and a noticeably less chill attitude. And Sarah Moore gets to face roommate Lisa Harrington and La Famiglia twice a season now.
Fun Fact: Craig’s ability at throwing his goalie stick has caught the eyes of USA Track and Field. He is considered a dark horse candidate in the javelin for the 2016 Summer Olympic Games.
Random Hockey Related YouTube Video: Tuukka Rask is not impressed.
Week 1 Box Scores
Monday, March 26th, 2012Hats Off To The League’s Second Biggest Face
La Famiglia 3, Rehabs 1
La Famiglia: Brian Ferry (1), Lori Houston (1), Bill Monahan (1)
Rehabs: Rob B. (1)
Goalie Win: Tim Kayiatos (1)
Corlears Hookers 2, Happy Little Elves 1 (OT-SO)
Corlears Hookers: Jesse Scolaro (1)
Happy Little Elves: Jerome “Hornswoggle” Ramos (1)
Goalie Win: Dustin “Fake Dutch’s Brother” Olson (1)
What The Puck 2, Fresh Kills 1
What The Puck: Brian Frank (1), Tom MacDonald (1)
Fresh Kills: Justin “The Boss” Ross (1)
Goalie Win: Anthony Romeo (1)
LBS, Inc. 4, Sky Fighters 3
LBS, Inc: Lawrence Goldstein 2 (2), Jason Bogdaneris (1), Ferndando Limoncic (1)
Sky Fighters: Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka 2 (2), Lada Majkus (1)
Goalie Win: Shaun deLacy (on loan from Happy Little Elves)
Filthy Gorgeous 4, Denim Demons 1
Filthy Gorgeous: Sunny Mehra 2 (2), Dana Kravis (1), Suz (1)
Denim Demons: Brad Weiger (1)
Goalie Win: Dan “D.O.” Owens (1)
Mathematics 4, Mega Touch 3
Mathematics: Zach Norris (1), Andy Pratt (1), Lilly Preston (1), Brad Schmidt (1)
Mega Touch: Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta 2 (2), Harvey Jaswal (1)
Goalie Win: Minkus (1)
Gouging Anklebiters 6, Gremlins 2
Gouging Anklebiters: Joe Polowczuk 3 (3), Charles DeFranco (1), Nick Gardella (1), Zack Papper (1)
Gremlins: Sudeep Banarjee (1), John Walker (1)
Goalie Win: Craig “Ug” LaCombe (1)
Tompkins Square Riots 4, Gut Rot 1
Tompkins Square Riots: Will Adams 2 (2), Alex Frenette (1), Craig Thompson (1)
Gut Rots: Tom (1)
Goalie Win: Shane-o DeBlasio (1)
Butchers 3, Dark Rainbows 1
Butchers: Gary Cohen (1), Mike Mincieli (1), TJ (1)
Dark Rainbows: Hector “$h0wT!m3” Melendez (1)
Goalie Win: Eric Ramirez (1)
Poutine Machine 3, Cobra Kai 2
Poutine Machine: Brodie St. John 2 (2), Vincent Tracy (1)
Cobra Kai: Jeff Borger (1), Mark Talercio (1)
Goalie Win: Ashish Nagpal (1)
