Posts Tagged ‘Hockey Rich’

Franchise Four: The Happy Little Elves

Wednesday, February 3rd, 2016

We know what you are thinking…how can you do a Franchise Four for a defunct team.  And for the rest of you who aren’t keeping up with all of the off-season hot stove activity (spoiler alert!), the Elves have migrated to the BTSH team alumni section, taking their rightful place alongside the Mighty Squirrels, Mexican Standoff, Pork Fried Rice, and countless others.  But since they have not yet played a game under the Fuzz rebrand, we decided to throw them a bone and honor four of the very best to ever put on an Elves uniform.

The only time I ever wore a non-Elves BTSH shirt. The only time I ever will. (Sorta)

Sadly, $h0wT!m3 did not make the cut.

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Thank You

Thursday, November 3rd, 2011

Raise Our Hands!

Before we being with our traditional end-of-year thank you post, allow us to present a brief anecdote from Sunday’s awards ceremony.  For the most part, we generally put serious thought into the acknowledgments we bestow upon the BTSH community, despite the vacuousness of the prizes and categories themselves (aside from the Stacy S. Kehoe Award, of course).  However, as a direct result of choosing the nominees and winners every season, neither of us had ever actually won one of our own media awards.  This had to change.  We came in with the intention of getting booed off the stage for giving ourselves the award for Best Duo, especially following a planned self-centered acceptance speech.  Instead, we were met with a chorus of cheers and applause.  Even Craig withheld his usual heckles and slurs.  It was actual quite heartwarming.

Adriano and others have repeatedly acknowledged us for putting a lot of work into what most consider to be a thankless task.  While true that this has had to be a labor of love over the past few seasons considering the small compensation we receive (thank you to those who voted to give us anything though!), calling our job “thankless” is not entirely accurate.  Throughout our tenure as editors for the website, and especially during this past weekend, we have been showered with effusive praise and accolades.  As writers, we thrive on knowing that people are reading and enjoying our work, and the comments and good tidings have kept us motivated throughout the years.

However, we could not have done this without the help and contributions of several dedicated staffers.  Jesse Kalb has provided his thoughts on the Hockey Night in Tompkins matchups for two seasons, and they have become a highlight of the weekly previews.  Sven Larsen saved us from the unenviable task of covering the MacNeil Division with his weekly submissions.  Abby “Tayne” Meisterman’s work may not have been enjoyed by everyone (T-Beau, Hockey Rich), but it was always entertaining.  Monica Russo decided to use the space we gave her to write about herself and Fitlhy Gorgeous, instead of the Donohue Division, as she was assigned…but at least, we didn’t have to write about Cobra Kai.  Rich Glanzer surprised us all with coherent, well-researched musings and relatively accurate predictions.  Plus, his Know Your Neighbor contributions were actually quite funny.  Ben Chadwick wrote far too much far too often, no matter what he called himself.  Last and certainly least, Shaun deLacy was the media intern, and he should not be acknowledged.

In addition, we’d also like to thank the past two league commissioners.  Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta supported us throughout the creative process, and Bob “Olmec” Weyersberg allowed us to take control of btsh.org in the first place.

As we look back at our years of service, we leave with no regrets and are excited to hand the reigns to someone else (hopefully).  It has been a pleasure using the website as a platform to get to know most of the league so well, but it will also be nice to have more free time to spend with our newfound friends.

Your humble Editors Emeriti,
Eli Kazin & Derek Tagliarino

Week 6 News and Notes

Tuesday, May 10th, 2011

Do You Smell What Tommy Is Cooking?

Three Stars of the Week

Third Star: Myrto Mylopoulos, Tompkins Square Riots. Myrto scored the only shootout goal in the Riots’ win against the Unicorns, and we’re looking for any excuse to get this video on the site one more time.
Second Star: Joe Polowczuk, Unicorns/Rehabs. As a borrowed player, who was inexplicably allowed to play by the Elves power structure, Joe recorded a hat trick to lead the Rehabs to their first victory of the season.  In addition to giving his Fairy Tale Cup rivals a taste of things to come, Polowczuk also scored the game-tying goal in his own game for the Unicorns.
First Star: Tommy Capatosta, LBS, Inc.  The Corporation’s Security Manager had all five of the team’s goals in LBS, Inc.’s 5-4 overtime win against the Sky Fighters.  He has dubbed the accomplishment the “Capatostrick.”

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Guest Columnist: Rich Glanzer

Monday, April 25th, 2011

The following views do not necessarily represent those of the editors or of BTSH. They do, however, represent those of Rich Glanzer.

For winning the Survivor Pool for the second straight year [Ed: Factual inaccuracy #1], I get to make yet another guest column. Here it is:

This is the true story [Ed: Factual inaccuracy #2], of two strangers, picked to run a co-ed hockey team, work together, and get their asses kicked. Find out what happens when captains stop being polite, and start getting real. The real story of the Happy Little Elves.

In 2008, the Happy Little Elves were formed. Two men, one loved, and the other me, fought for control of the franchise. The tall one they call Ben Chadwick eventually won the power struggle (because he paid Bob W. the league fee, and I didn’t), and that is how the Happy Little Elves came into existence. Years later, many books, movies, and inaccurate stories on the BTSH website [Ed: Including this very guest column] detailed how the Elves went from Lime Green Losers to champions of the BTSH world. But finally the secret tapes came out as I knew they would, and the true story has finally been revealed.

How did I know the tapes would come out???  [Ed: Two of these question marks are superfluous] Well, I leaked it on my Facebook account a few months ago. But here are the secret conversations between Ben Chadwick and myself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmF42fFSnLc

As you can see, the friction between the 2009 Duo of the Year, Ben Chadwick and myself, has not thawed. We hate each other as much as we did the first day when I said to him, “Hi, my name is Rich Glanzer, but you can call me Captain.”

However, we both agree on three things:

  1. The Simpsons is way better than Family Guy
  2. Jan Erixon would still be the best Ranger
  3. Shaun deLacey [sic] is a jerk, but he’s our jerk

No Box Scores Tonight…

Sunday, April 3rd, 2011

…But You Already Know That.

Your humble correspondents are watching Alberto Del Rio fulfill his destiny by winning the World Heavyweight Championship at Wrestlemania 27.  So, no box scores tonight.

In the mean time, here are Rich Glanzer’s WM27 predictions:

  • C.M. Punk defeats Randy Orton
  • Team Big Show defeats CORRE
  • Sheamus retains his title over Daniel Bryan
  • Snooki pins Dolph Ziggler
  • Undertaker defeats Triple H
  • Alberto Del Rio wins the World Heavyweight Championship from Edge
  • Miz retains his title from John Cena
  • Monday night, Rock defeats the Miz for the WWE Championship

Let’s see how well he does…