Posts Tagged ‘not stars’

3 NOT Stars of the Week

Monday, August 22nd, 2016

We don’t always do the 3 NOT Stars. But this week there were some deserving peeps.

3rd NOT star: Whoever took Emily M.’s purple water bottle.
purple lululemon water bottle

Have you seen me?

So, Emily accidentally left her purple lululemon water bottle at the courts on Sunday when she was fleeing the sudden rain. Easy mistake to make. We’ve all done it. She took to Facebook to post an alert, in case anybody had picked it up. The alert stated that the water bottle had sentimental value. SENTIMENTAL VALUE, people!  Emily is a league favorite, there is no questioning that. Anyone that knows her loves her and we would all do whatever we can to help her out. She is SO sweet, in fact, that I have been told that this water bottle MAY even actually belong to Emily’s WTP teammate, and Em was just trying to get it back for her. I mean, seriously, could she be any nicer??  Yet, to date, no one has come forward. No one has risen from the shadows to fess up to this heinous crime. If this were most other BTSHers, it wouldn’t be such a big deal. But it’s Emily.
Dear crook: Just give up the water bottle and no one gets hurt.
2nd NOT star: Dave S. – Fresh Kills
Soko

Is that a new jersey for Dave L.?

I like Dave. I like him a lot. He is a good captain and a good guy. He runs a well-oiled machine. I also like Fresh Kills a lot – they all play clean, highly-skilled hockey and do it with smiles on their faces. However, something is afoot with this team. At time when league members are calling for more use of the free agent list, and less borrowing from other BTSH teams (I have been told that the hashtags #usethefreeagentlist and #dotherightthing are trending) Fresh Kills seems to have missed the memo. For like the 8th time this season (is he on their roster or something?) they have borrowed ringer goalie Dave L. of Math, instead of using Newman, Eitan, Greenwald or any other free agent goalie. I even saw them do this against a 3rd division team that they clearly outmatch greatly. So what gives, you might ask? Well, that is a good question. Could it be that Dave and Dave are brothers? (But where is their other brother Dave?) Could it be that Dave is trying to poach Dave L. from Math, wooing him with a 1st division team which has always had superstar status? With veteran Pat between the pipes for them full-time, this is unlikely. Could it be that Dave doesn’t know about the free agent list, even though he is a veteran who is also one of the most organized captains in the league?  Well, that’s doubtful too.  Or, lastly, could it be that Dave cares quite a bit about winning, so much so that he looks for a very skilled goalie each time his full-time netminder is out on a given week?
Well……I will let the BTSH universe decide.
1st NOT Star of the week: John Walker – Gremlins
blurred face

Face blurred to hide EXTREME SHAME.

JW has been on a crusade this season to encourage teams to do the right thing and not borrow ringers. The league has a very extensive free agent list, there are many eager and friendly players just waiting to get the nod. He went so far as to suggest What The Puck belong in the Doghouse for borrowing ringers multiple times this season.  Rich, Barretta and Rachel K. agreed with this notion, and obliged. Then…….he went and did the unthinkable this week. After finishing his Gremlins game, the goalie playing in the game after his came up to him and asked if he or any of his teammates would like to sub in for them, as his team was very short.  Given JW’s hockey addiction he did not walk away or offer up someone else to play, as he should have. He agreed to play in said game, and he did play in said game. The team that JW agreed to play for was, wait for it……………WHAT THE PUCK. The goalie, of course, was Jordan.  There are SO many things wrong with this, that I won’t bore you by listing them all. One thing that some readers may not realize is that in addition to the hypocrisy, the Gremlins are currently locked in a battle with WTP to stay in the 3rd division, making this an even more terrible decision on J Dubs’ part. In summation, we will just say that this was the most hypocritical thing JW has ever done in his BTSH career, and probably his life.
Emily and Justin were there to bear witness to this travesty, and they were kind about it. However, if Mike Dudolevitch was still alive and present, he would have torn JW apart for this one. And rightfully so.

Not Stars

Thursday, July 14th, 2016

By Richiehero

The three Not-Stars are back! The only rule for the Not-Stars is you are not allowed to be offended. So no offense. 

A combined zero BTSH goals among the three. That's pathetic. They probably never even won the formerly prestigious and formerly imaginary Fairy Tale Cup.

A combined zero BTSH goals among the three. That’s pathetic. They probably never even won the formerly prestigious and formerly imaginary Fairy Tale Cup.


Not Stars: 

*** Miles (Fuzz)
I cannot imagine the pain of scoring a hat trick in a losing cause. (Chill your, “You can’t imagine scoring a hat trick jokes.” I have scored several of them you assholes.)

** The Dead Rat on the West Court and Marissa from WTP
For those that didn’t see, there was a dead rat on the West Court. I meant to take a picture but forgot.
However painful Ratty’s death was, Marissa was in more pain when Suz hit her in the (ahem) solar plexes. Yeah, that’s where she hit her. Suz of course didn’t mean it, but she was reckless, jumping up and down waving her arms screaming, “I’m open! I’m open!” when it happened. It should be noted, the teams were on a water break at the time of the incident.

* Derho (WTP Wanna-Be)
The Riots let WTP borrow players (use the Free Agent list!) but said they could use either Derho or Ben C. I told Amy Jones, “One’s one of the best players in the league. The other is Ben Chadwick.” Amy let WTP use Ben Chadwick. Sorry Derho.

The Biggest Loser of the Week
Derek Tags. Loser is the accurate word as he lost his coveted ECW title belt. Not only that, the belt actually came to life, created a Facebook account, and compared Derek to Hitlers mustache. 

Da Belt has come back to life. Good for him.

Da Belt has come back to life. Good for him.