Posts Tagged ‘playoffs’
Three Stars of the Playoff Debut
Tuesday, September 27th, 2016by Ophelia Baulls
There’s three of them. They’re wearing yellow. So sure, they count as Stars.
THIRD STAR
Gut Rot “We come last, or not at all”
Trying to describe Gut Rot is sometimes like trying to describe that guy you want to set your friend up with, who maybe isn’t a total smokeshow but is SO awesome it’s tough to describe exactly WHY. Here’s why this week:
1. They lost their goalie in the last month of the season and kept those cute smiles on their faces and welcomed Worky into the net
Hero.
2. Perko dropped his stick onto the subway tracks and this is what happened
3. Liza Watts because of this real-life chat over our company IM
darko: what was the score?
ldubs: uh…we lost?
ldubs: pretty sure we scored one goal
ldubs: and they scored more than one goal
darko: that sounds right
SECOND STAR
Erich from Gremlins “When I move, you move. Just like that.”
Arrogant chump.
The word on the street is that Erich was like the vinegar in your 6th grade volcano-science-project, making shit ERUPT (but less foamy?) every time he stepped onto the court. The Gremlins and Riots battled hard but Erich was leading a Macy’s day parade into the Riots defensive zone whenever he tapped in. Homeboy sunk two in the net, for a 4-1 victory over the Riots.
FIRST STAR
Tia from Dark Rainbows “Location, location, location”
Always putting herself and team in the best position.
Tia played in position like a bauss and nailed in two goals, securing a hearty victory for the Rainbows. Reportedly “well-stretched and highly caffeinated,” T-$ was in primetime goal scoring position and also breaking up Gut Rot’s offensive flow. Not only did she score twice, but she was picking up Rot passes like Perko picks up a stick: unexpected and slightly alarming.
Honorable mentions:
Liam of Cobra Kai for ensuring his team moved on to the next round by pumping two past the Hookers net minder. Of all the teams that won this past Sunday the evil dojo looked the most dangerous.
Walkie-Talkie and Mia for keeping the courts open late so us hockey junkies could hang out and scrimmage. Thanks for breaking it all down too.
Playoff Opening Round Previews
Friday, September 23rd, 2016The playoffs are finally here, BTSH! And these opening round matchups look like the perfect recipe to end up being beautifully nasty. So, let’s. Get. BIZ-ZAY!!!
Corlears Hookers at Cobra Kai
by Rachel G
Lots of drama surrounding the Hookers goalie situation, which most of us don’t really care about. What we do care about – which version of the Hookers are showing up this week? The team that won a championship a few years back? Or the one that got clobbered by Math…twice? Listen, I can talk about Danilo, Eitel, Tiffany, and that guy who looks like Eitel and is super into Zog…but will they show up? Consistency has definitely been an issue with that squad, which earned them a place in the bottom 8, but I can say with certainty…I don’t want to see them next round.
Same can be asked about the Dojo..which team will show up? Will it be Liam, Will and Pete dancing around us all? Or Jenks throwing a tantrum? When they are feeling it – this team can take on any team in BTSH. Most importantly they now have more Rachel-power than any other team in the league… I think that should get them past the first round as long as they don’t bring Altman back to offend womankind everywhere.
Let’s hope Cobra Kai wins so we can be done with this Cro-fueled sneaky goalie nonsense.
Prediction: Liam and #dojorachels are too savvy to allow just any FA goalie to hop in net for the Hookers and they’ll move on to the Round of 16 (-1.5 goals).
Gut Rot at Dark Rainbows
by Rachel G
What can we say about 2016 Gut Rot? We all loved them. Gilligan, Tommy, Scotty K, Peaches…yeah, pretty sure they scored all their goals for the season. But if Heather didn’t dress up like a box of wine, what would this league be? Who can compete with Diane’s smile, even as she begs, pleads and harasses to get refs for us every week?
Gut Rot 2016
Rainbows, I’m sure you’ve got a number of goals in there. Even without league-loved seasoned agitator Aaron Friedman, I’m sure you’ll be just fine. Your mouthy new rookie can take care of that. Tia’s moment of flying under the radar might be done, I’m calling a goal for her this week, and Roberts and probably about three other people.
Love you, Gut Rot, but I’m calling this 5-1, DR.
Prediction: You just read it. Dark Rainbows (-3.5 goals).
Gremlins at Tompkins Square Riots
by Rachel G
Jamie, JW needs you to be wearing that shirt AT the rink Sunday, not wherever the hell you are.
It’s been a rough season for the Gremmies, they flirted with being sent out of the Welcome to the Johnson’s division again, they also flirted with Cheeky in her courting period, just to lose to Mega. But they also won 3 out of their last 4 games. Now it’s the playoffs and that rough season is a whole different story. When this team decides to bring it, they can take down anyone. Maire, Erich, Rod, they can change a game in a moment. I hear JW stole some charity money to fly Jamie back from whatever corner of the globe he ran off to. Similarly, the Riots are not to be underestimated by their record or division. This is a gritty, determined squad who will fight and earn every goal. I’m not sure if you were on social media last week, but Showtime had his mouthful of Dave Gil de Rubio, and rightfully so…did you see that game?! He’s not the only one to look out for, Drew and Joe have moves that leave the league’s best defenders flat-footed. Although they haven’t scored any NWHL ringers, these ladies are some of the best out there – don’t underestimate the two-way play of Laura MacNeil, or Amy’s stalwart defense.
Close one, I’m guessing Gremmies by 1. Can’t hold Erich down in a close game.
Prediction: Gremlins survive this round to get demolished in next (+0.5 goals).
What The Puck at Poutine Machine
by Kid Kazin
Since this is a Round of 16 qualifying game, there will be a metal briefcase suspended high above the West court. Inside of it, a contract that guarantees the winning team a playoff game on October 2 against a top 4 seed of the league’s choosing. To earn that contract…wait, the wrestling-laden He-Views were last week? Okay, fine, we’ll put on the journalism cap for this one…
Refs, you should be nervous if Jo-Ann is not helping you ref Poutine’s game.
The Fighting Poos could have earned a bye and avoided this playoff game with a win last Sunday, but a late Anklebiters goal sealed their position as the #14 seed. And while a lot of the surface stats for this matchup with the league’s second-best orange clothed team clearly point in Poutine’s favor, the game should be close and competitive. Sure, Poutine won eight games during the regular season to What The Puck’s four. And yeah, their goal differential of +7 is way better than What The Puck’s -18. Plus, they have Brian Sullivan. What The Puck doesn’t have Brian Sullivan.
But let’s look past the surface a little. Poutine’s regular season record was inflated by seven division wins, as they went 1-7-1 outside of their division. Okay, so that one win was against What The Puck, but it was only by one goal. And What The Puck played some of their better games this season against tougher competition, knocking off the Anklebiters, taking the Butchers to overtime, and losing to Fresh Kills by one. We’re also expecting savvy veteran Corey to be present for What The Puck, and he always ups his game for the playoffs.
Prediction: Emily, Corey, Justin M., Jordan, and the rest of What The Puck fight valiantly, but can’t overcome the Fighting Poos sound defensive structure. Charlotte, Kevin, Whitney, A.J., and Scott lead the charge to keep What The Puck at bay, and a timely goal from Brian Sullivan extinguishes any lingering hopes of an upset. Poo Nation moves on to the Round of 16 with a hard-earned 3-1 win (-1.5 goals).
If the playoffs started today…
Wednesday, September 14th, 2016If the BTSH playoffs were to start today (or this Sunday), here’s how the matchups would look based on the current standings. And while we’re at it, let’s go ahead and predict the whole thang. And…we’re off!
And the Opening Round matchups are..
Opening Round – September 25th
20. Gut Rot at 13. Poutine Machine
Prediction: I love Gut Rot, but the Machine is heating up at the right time. Not even Fresh Kills is looking forward to facing them in the Quarterfinals. Poutine takes this contest 5-1.
19. What The Puck at 14. Cobra Kai
Prediction: Usually all bets are off when divisional foes square off in the playoffs, however the #dojorachels are just too strong and will lead the Cobra Kai to victory 4-2.
18. Corlears Hookers at 15. Dark Rainbows
Prediction: The depleted Rainbows draw the short straw here and have to face a fully-loaded Hookers squad. Purple and pink may look dashing on Barcelona, but this one gets ugly quick with the Hookers winning 7-0.
17. Gremlins at 16. Tompkins Square Riots
Prediction: Yikes! An angry Jamie is a real thing. And so are the Gremmies with Cody and Erich back in action. As much fight as the Riots have in them it won’t be enough in this one with the Gremlins looking confident 4-1.
Round of 16 – October 2nd
18. Corlears Hookers at 1. Fuzz
Prediction: Congratulations! You snagged the overall seed! And what do you get? A date with that fully-loaded and playoff tested Hookers squad. And that’s really the storyline in this one. The Fuzz’s featured players don’t exactly have the playoff pedigree for a deep run. But it won’t matter here as they win in OT 4-3 anyway.
17. Gremlins at 2. Rehabs
Prediction: This one has disaster written all over it for the Gremlins. Luckily for Walker, he’ll now get to scrimmage till his heart’s content for three straight Sundays. Habs switch to cruise control and make an opening statement 6-1.
14. Cobra Kai at 3. Butchers
Prediction: As we pointed out earlier in CK’s opening round prediction, divisional matchups in the playoffs can make for some ‘must see hockey.’ This one could end up being the GAME OF THE WEEK with the final highlight of Rachel stealing the puck from a Rachel in the neutral zone and dishing to a streaking Pete for the triple OT winner 5-4.
13. Poutine Machine at 4. Fresh Kills
Prediction: Thanks for coming out this year Machine. Your run in the second half of the season was a nice little story, but this is how big boys and girls play hockey. Fresh Kills spanks the poutine out of the Machine 9-0.
12. Sky Fighters at 5. Filthier
Prediction: Not the matchup either of these teams wanted. Filthier’s title defense starts off against a team that is built around defense. As frustrating as it’ll be for them, they’ll win 3-1.
11. Gouging Anklebiters at 6. LBS, Inc.
Prediction: LBS hates this matchup. Hates it, hates it, hates it! The Biters made it all the way to the frozen four last year with Probie just as a pup. He’s better this year and don’t forget that Joe P is back. So, LBS, want to win this one? Then take care of Luke and get him an Uber to the courts. If not, then Schuie’s reffing his next game with a celebratory beverage again.
10. Denim Demons at 7. Mathematics
Prediction: Always an epic battle when these two square off. Hats off to the Demons for overcoming the injury bug all season and in-season recruitment of new players, but Math just wants this one more. 3-2.
9. Mega Touch at 8. Instant Karma
Prediction: Oh, please let this matchup work out. Not that we think Karma is better, because these teams are pretty even, it is because Mega is the most fun on and off the court and Karma is pretty chill too. Except for Brianna, she’s not. And she’ll ruin Meag’s lives 2-1.
Quarterfinals – October 9th
8. Instant Karma at 1. Fuzz
Prediction: Revenge game for Rich and the remaining two Elves. Ben & Ko. may have krushed them last year, but the Fuzz is a whole different animal 5-2.
7. Mathematics at 2. Rehabs
Prediction: UPSET. The story no one is talking about lately is how vulnerable the Habs have looked. With the Norri coming together like Voltron it will be too much for Sena and Welch to handle. 3-2 Math.
6. LBS, Inc. at 3. Butchers
Prediction: The Butchers were able to take advantage of their powder-puff schedule, but they won’t be able to take advantage of LBS. 4-3.
5. Filthier at 4. Fresh Kills
Prediction: Ariel plays brilliantly, Soko looks solid on defense and the defending champs go down swinging 6-5 in regulation.
Semifinals – October 16th
7. Mathematics at 1. Fuzz
Prediction: This one gets super heated with Derek and Becky from Math and Jeff and Paul from Fuzz getting tossed near the end of the first half due to a misunderstanding about Eli. Zach moves up on offense to join Sam and Roxy and they stifle Hicks, Alyssa and Miles 2-1.
6. LBS, Inc. at 4. Fresh Kills
Prediction: It’s too bad this contest can’t be a best of five series determined over the span of two weeks instead of one Sunday afternoon. But this is BTSH and every playoff game in our league is a win or go home Game 7. And you can bet both of these teams will be balls to wall (fence and rope) to win this one. But there can only be one…and it’ll be Fresh Kills 4-3.
Championship Game – October 23rd
Mathematics vs. Fresh Kills
Prediction: No ranks. No records. None of that matters when taking home the PBP Cup is on the line. The Mets didn’t make it back to the World Series this year (because they imploded down the stretch and now they’re looting and turning over cars in celebratory fashion in our nation’s capital), but Math did make the playoffs. And they’ll be drinking from the Cup and dangling from Parkside’s chandlers during the Awards Ceremony.
2016 BTSH Champions
Quarterfinals Box Scores
Monday, October 19th, 2015On To The Semis…
Stephanie went HAM on Sunday.
Gouging Anklebiters: Joe Polowczuk, Matt Workman
Fresh Kills: Gabe Chenard
Goalie Win: Craig LaCombe
#1 Filthier 4, #8 Gremlins 1
Filthier: Denis Miciletto 2, Jessie Liu, James Pereira
Gremlins: Mark McAdam
Goalie Win: Tim Kayiatos
#3 Rehabs 4, #6 Mathematics 3 (OT-SO)
Rehabs: Rob B., Eric Ruben, Bradley Starr
Mathematics: Nathan Norris, Bradley Schmidt, Cherie Stewart
Goalie Win: $h0wT!m3
Shootout: Rehabs win 1-0 in the fourth round.
#5 Sky Fighters 3, #4 LBS, Inc. 1
Sky Fighters: Olivier Brassard, Stephanie Cooper, Mike Teytelbaum
LBS, Inc.: Karsten Pichon
Goalie Win: James Stein
Playoff Round of 16 Box Scores
Monday, October 12th, 2015LBS Looks Strong Against Hookers
Timmy takes another important call.
Gremlins: Rod Sherwood
Denim Demons: Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens
Goalie Win: Jamie Batuwantudawe
Shootout: Gremlins win shootout 2-1.
#1 Filthier 5, #19 Tompkins Square Riots 0
Filthier: Denis Miciletto 3, Sunny Mehra, Shafiq Perry
Shutout: Tim Kayiatos
#5 Sky Fighters 1, #12 Gut Rot 0
Sky Fighters: Mike Teytelbaum
Shutout: James Stein
#4 LBS, Inc. 4, #13 Corlears Hookers 2
LBS, Inc.: Scott Kaston 3, Tommy Capatosta
Corlears Hookers: Danilo Biagioni, Sarah Newnam
Goalie Win: Tim “Gunz” Brown
#3 Rehabs 3, #16 Instant Karma 0
Rehabs: Rob B. 2, Ramy Odeh
Shutout: $h0wT!m3
#6 Mathematics 2, #11 Butchers 0
Mathematics: Nathan Norris, Sam Norris
Shutout: David Liang
#7 Gouging Anklebiters 4, #10 Cobra Kai 3 (OT-SO)
Gouging Anklebiters: Ben Probert 2, Charles DeFranco
Cobra Kai: Doug Bova, Dan Innamorato, Liam Martens
Goalie Win: Craig LaCombe
Shootout: Biters win 1-0.
#2 Fresh Kills 2, #18 Dark Rainbows 1
Fresh Kills: Gabe Chenard 2
Dark Rainbows: Rachel Klion
Goalie Win: Patrick Barch
