Posts Tagged ‘Poutine Machine’
Week 3 Previews (Part I)
Wednesday, April 9th, 2014GOTW: Mathematics vs. Poutine Machine
Week 1 is in the books and it’s time for the Game of the Week. Going into this season, Poutine and Math were like two ships crossing in the middle of the night. Math was on an upwards swing, and Poutine was spiraling downward. But after Week 1, perhaps we underestimated Poutine, after their brilliant 1-0 overtime win over Gut Rot.
Sinister Derk, scoffs at the notion that Poutine can beat Math. Or he may have just been in a good mood about something else. No…he was scoffing at Poutine.
Glanzer Division Preview
Monday, March 24th, 2014Saving the best-named division for last. Last season, Math won the Glanzer Division, and this year they are taking the name with them. In a division with Derk, Elly and $h0wT!m3, and written by me…there is not one wrestling joke. Rachel Greene we are really trying here.
Without further ado….
OK, so they’re not as hot as these two, but they are as close as it gets.
Additional Weakness: Neither of them showed to the free agent scrimmage!
Waldo was easier to find than Rachel and Georgine yesterday.
Fun Fact: Georgine once scored a natural hat trick. (With the stick I gave her)
Week 14 Box Scores
Monday, July 25th, 2011Paglia Didn’t Get The “Look Fierce” Memo
Poutine Machine 2, Rehabs 1 (OT)
Poutine Machine: Vincent Tracy (6), Kevin MacDonald (5)
Rehabs: Mike Nagin (5)
Goalie Win: Tim Brown
Game Notes: Tracy scored the game-winning goal in overtime.
Fresh Kills 3, LBS, Inc. 1
Fresh Kills: Scott Lee (6), Alice Bertoni (2), Eugene Rha (2)
LBS, Inc: Lawrence Goldstein (9)
Goalie Win: Patrick Barch
Sky Fighters 3, What The Puck 1
Sky Fighters: Robert Kucera (5), Brian Allen (3), Greg Infanti (3)
What The Puck: Corey “Chongo” Winters (3)
Goalie Win: James Stein
Filthy Gorgeous 4, Cobra Kai 3 (OT-SO)
Filthy Gorgeous: “Gentleman” James Pereira 2 (10), Matthew Workman (3)
Cobra Kai: Marc Beland 2 (6), Mark Talercio (4)
Shootout: Filthy Gorgeous wins 1-0. Successful attempt by Workman.
Goalie Win: Dan “D.O.” Owens
Games Notes: Pereira scored the game-tying goal with two minutes remaining in regulation.
Gut Rot 3, Tompkins Square Riots 2 (OT)
Gut Rot: Tom 2 (10), Mark (5)
Tompkins Square Riots: Alexandre Frenette (4), Shane-o DeBlasio (2)
Goalie Win: Bill
Game Notes: Tom tied the game with two seconds remaining in regulation and scored the game-winner about three minutes into overtime. He also assisted on Mark’s goal.
La Famiglia 4, Mega Touch 2
La Famiglia: Denis Miciletto (19), Shafiq “Off Black” Perry (12), Haanwa Chau (1), Brian Ferry (1)
Mega Touch: Molly Brown (1), Julie Katz (1)
Goalie Win: Jamie Batuwantudawe
Game Notes: Tuques beat reporter Rich Glanzer correctly predicted that Katz would score her first career goal in his game preview.
Dark Rainbows 4, Gouging Anklebiters 1
Dark Rainbows: John Nielsen (5), P.T. Walkley (5), Josh Wilson (5), Sean Reynolds (3)
Gouging Anklebiters: Alex Derhohannesian (5)
Goalie Win: John Meyer
Unicorns 5, Butchers 2
Unicorns: Krish (3), Rod (3), John (2), Ryan (2), Courtney (1)
Butchers: “The Charismatic Enigma” Arthur Revechkis (11), Arnold Sanchez (2)
Goalie Win: Craig “Ug” LaCombe
Mathematics 3, Corlears Hookers 0
Mathematics: Andy Pratt 2 (4), Lilly Preston (3)
Shutout: Bill (on loan from Gut Rot)
Happy Little Elves 8, Denim Demons 4
Happy Little Elves: Ryan Nakahara 2 (12), Gil Valdes 2 (8), “The Chairman” Ben Chadwick 2 (3), Trevor “T-Beau” Beauclair (7), Courtney McBride (1)
Denim Demons: Jeff Kamen 2 (9), Mike Pereira (2), Brad Weiger (1)
Goalie Win: Shaun deLacy
Week 14 Preview
Thursday, July 21st, 2011Where’s Lateef’s Left Hand?
GAME OF THE WEEK
Poutine Machine (8-2-1-1) at Rehabs (3-6-1-2)
Location: Tompkins West, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: First Meeting
Game Notes: Two of the league’s top goalies face off in this inter-conference showdown. Poutine Machine’s Tim Brown has dominated the competition in his first full season. He leads the league in shutouts with five, and has been the backbone of the league’s top defense. In addition, his goals against average of 1.17 ranks second in BTSH. However, this game goes beyond just the stats for Brown, as he began his career with a two-game cup of coffee with the Rehabs last season. Undoubtedly, he will want to put on a stellar showing against his former squad. Unfortunately, winning will not come easily, as the Rehabs new goalie, Hilary Meyer, has picked up where Brown (and Anthony Romeo) left off. Her solid goaltending has been the lone constant for the Rehabs this season, and her goals against average of 1.57 ranks fourth in the league. After a slow start to the season, her team has finally picked up its offense as well, and has now earned points in six of its last seven games, including wins over the Corlears Hookers and defending champion Happy Little Elves. With both goaltenders playing at such a high level, a low-scoring game is almost a certainty.
Keys To The Game:
1. Poutine Machine rookie Brodie St. John has led the team’s offense in recent weeks, tallying four goals in Poutine’s last four games. He is part of a virtually unknown offense that is loaded with hidden talent and a man named Mike Haas.
2. Some of the lesser known players on the Rehabs have also gotten hot lately. Mike Nagin led the team in their upset win against the Corlears Hookers in Week 12 with a hat trick, and notched another goal in the team’s tie against the Elves last week.
3. With interim Rehabs captain Stacy S. Kehoe scheduled to miss this Sunday’s game, the team has turned to BTSH veteran Mike “Cupcake” Bartlett for leadership. When told of this, Cupcake simply shrugged his shoulders.
Eli’s Pick: Rehabs. With 16 goals in the past three games, their offense is finally clicking.
Derek’s Pick: Rehabs. They (Gina) threatened me with violence when I didn’t pick them last week.
Watchability: 4 Caruanas. Both goalies should keep this game tight until the end.
Week 10 Preview
Thursday, June 16th, 2011This Is An Optical Illusion. They’re The Same Height.
GAME OF THE WEEK
LBS, Inc. (5-2-0-1) at Poutine Machine (5-2-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: First Meeting
Game Notes: Few circled this inter-conference matchup as a potential Game of the Week when the schedule was released in February. LBS, Inc. logged a pedestrian 8-7-0-1 record in 2010, resulting in a demotion from the Rubens Division to the Hackett Division. Poutine Machine, in its inaugural season, finished 16th in BTSH with a 6-9-0-1 record. However, fortunes have changed this year, and both teams have surpassed expectations. The Corporation, after opening the season with two losses, has responded by winning five of its last six games and sits just two points out of first place in the ultra-competitive Hackett Division. Poutine Machine needs just one more win to equal last year’s total and maintains a comfortable lead in the MacNeil Division. Will LBS, Inc. be that win?
Keys To The Game:
1. LBS, Inc.’s newest hire Lawrence Goldstein has been a revelation both on and off the court. He has bolstered the Corporation’s scoring attack with five goals this season and recently impressed CEO Sascha Puritz with his PowerPoint presentation on how the team can effectively reduce its overhead.
2. Poutine Machine owes the bulk of their success to the performance of goaltender Tim Brown. He has recorded four shutouts on the season to lead the league, including three in the team’s last four games. Brown is tied for second in the league with a 1.38 GAA.
3. In one of the season’s biggest upsets, Poutine Machine defeated the Denim Demons 1-0 in Week 3, proving the team can compete with the league’s elite. Another win against a Weyersberg Conference team would establish Poutine as a viable championship contender.
Eli’s Pick: LBS, Inc. Majority shareholder “The Alpha Male” Ken Poulin is not happy that Poutine Machine unveiled a new white alternate jersey last weekend.
Derek’s Pick: Poutine Machine. This week, they remove all doubt that they’re for real.
Watchability: 4 Provenchers. This scale is compensation to Jo-Ann, who did not actually lose to Arnold Sanchez in basketball. The media assumed this based on their genders.
