Posts Tagged ‘Rehabs’
Week 12 News and Notes
Tuesday, July 22nd, 2008Wait A Minute! That Sky Fighter Isn’t Martin!
Those From Staten Island Were Sent Home
This year’s All-Star Game deviated from BTSH’s traditional random division of teams by splitting players based on their current residence. With the battle line of the East River clearly drawn, a new rivalry of Brooklyn and Queens versus Manhattan and Jersey began. However, it should quickly be noted that the Manhattan/Jersey alliance is tenuous at best. The game commenced with the East taking an early lead on a goal by Eric Devlin of Bad Touch. Unfortunately, much like a real Bad Touch game, this would prove to be his side’s only goal. Towards the end of the first half, the West struck for three quick goals, scored by Derek Tagliarino (Mathematics), Matt Workman (Filthy Gorgeous), and Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer (What The Puck). A late second half goal by the West’s Micael Holmstrom (Denim Demons) iced the 4-1 victory.
Although the West won bragging rights until next season’s contest, the game’s outcome was not the only story of the day. While his team came up short, East co-coach Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens intimidated his opposition, sporting a purple blazer, a fedora, a pair of sunglasses, a yellow legal pad, and an “I Love Brooklyn” t-shirt. West co-coach Rachel “A-Korn” Greene had a beer and a cigarette. Other highlights include a failed attempt at multi-ball by Mexican Standoff, a Rehabs bum rush on Craig “Ug” LaCombe, and referee Sven Larsen getting hit in the testicular region by a ball.
With his team’s loss, Rubens remained true to his word, and the entire East team was forced to swim home to Brooklyn.
Week 12 Preview
Thursday, July 17th, 2008This Rivarly Is Brought To You By The Letter S
GAME OF THE WEEK
Rehabs (6-3-1-1) vs. Denim Demons (6-0-2-1)
Location: Corlears South, 5:00 PM
All-Time Series: Rehabs lead 6-4-1
Game Notes: This game represents one of the most storied and bitter rivalries across all of BTSH, as both teams are very open about their dislike for one another. The combative history begins with their original meeting in 1932, when Rehabs captain Sean “Nine Toes” O’Malley scored the game winning goal in octuple overtime in a game featuring more than 100 minutes of penalties. The next series milestone occurred in 1966 when Demons prankster Lisa “Moonbeam” Williams laced the Rehabs pre-game meal with LSD. Tensions boiled over again in 2003, when the Demons changed their color scheme to the Rehabs’ signature Red and Black, from their previous teal and fuchsia. Finally, just last season, when Rehabs schemer Jon Feldman discovered that the Demons were pre-emptively planning a celebratory dinner, he snuck into the team clubhouse (Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens’s apartment) and smashed all of their fine China. This earned him the nickname, “Dinner Plate”. Fireworks are expected this Sunday when the rivalry continues.
Keys To The Game:
1. Rehabs defender Stacy Kehoe’s high school class will be taking a field trip to watch this game on Sunday. She has promised them no homework on Monday if the Rehabs are victorious, so the fan support will be boisterous.
2. Upon further review, it’s summer, so ignore the previous note.
3. But then again, she might teach summer school…see note one.
Eli’s Pick: Rehabs. “Con” Ed Lau turns off the power at the Demons’ hotel, causing most of them to oversleep.
Derek’s Pick: Denim Demons. Micael Holmstrom never sleeps.
Photo of the Week
Wednesday, June 25th, 2008Up Late With Stork
“Right now, I am thinking of holding another meeting…in bed!”
Week 3 Box Scores
Monday, April 28th, 2008
The Rehabs Love To Come From Behind
Filthy Gorgeous 6, Fresh Kills 2
Filthy Gorgeous: Suvin “The Guru” Malik 2, Paul “Ashy Larry” Vernon, Matt Novick, James Pereira, Jonathan Rick
Fresh Kills: Jeff Lesser, Jeff Goldberg
Denim Demons 8, Mexican Standoff 0
Denim Demons: Mike Pereira 3, Lena Moy-Borgen 3, Brad Weiger 2
Shutout: Zack Tinkelman
Rehabs 4, Unicorns 2
Rehabs: Brian Wong 2, Chantel Arroyo, Jon “Dinner Plate” Feldman
Unicorns: Allison, Ryan
LBS 5, Gouging Anklebiters 3
LBS: Tom Capatosta 3, Brian “Grandmaster B” Barrett, Phil Yang
Gouging Anklebiters: Phil “Sandy” Donohue, Caroline Morrissey-Bickerton, Matt Tsiang
What The Puck 3, Cobra Kai 2
What The Puck: Ant “Father Time” Ventolieri, Mike “The X-Factor” Woodsworth, Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer
Cobra Kai: Mariko Nakatani, Adriano Bratta
Mighty Squirrels 3, Mathematics 1
Mighty Squirrels: Gary Kowalski, Arthur “Lil’ Weezy” Revechkis, Al Sansoni
Mathematics: Laura MacNeil
Sky Fighters 4, Happy Little Elves 1
Sky Fighters: Martin Cejka 2, Dan Hopper, Sarah Larson
Happy Little Elves: Kenneth Szeto
[Editors Note: There will be more information on this game in the news and notes post]
Corlears Hookers 3, Bad Touch 0
Corlears Hookers: Brendan “Dutch” Kearney, Gavin “Dutch’s Brother” Kearney, Jock Paul
Shutout: Chris Beauvois
Dark Rainbows 6, Tuques 0
Dark Rainbows: John Nielsen 4, Jonathan Rudd, P.T. Walkley
Shutout: Trevor “White Jesus” Tyrrell
Season Preview: Rehabs
Friday, April 11th, 2008Stork’s Favorite Movie is Tomcats
Color: Black
Year Founded: 2001
2007 Regular Season Finish: 10-6-1 (8th place)
2007 Playoff Result: Lost to Corlears Hookers in quarterfinals
Key Additions: Mike “Cupcake” Bartlett (Pork Fried Rice), Hector “$howT!m3” Melendez (Unicorns), Alex “Villano VI” Zabala (Unicorns)
Key Losses: Daniel Torjman, Debbie Tomlinson, James Nicholson
Fan Base: Romeo’s Equipment Manager
